Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,985 members, 7,956,679 topics. Date: Monday, 23 September 2024 at 04:50 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? (22314 Views)
Never Toil With A Child's Self Esteem: A Lesson From Micheal Jackson's Life. / Ten Steps To Better Self-esteem / Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Nobody: 10:32pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
I need to put this out there... Personally, I'm grateful to my parents for the "bootcamp/African" kind of upbringing they gave me... I hated my pops growing up because he used to beat me like a thief... However, that upbringing gave me the strong mentality I have got today - and I'm forever grateful to him for that... To be honest, nothing can ever break me... Not saying I'm going to smack my kids around and molest them, however, when you spare the rod, you're definitely spoiling the child... Big ups to African parents!! - salute! |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by abiL(f): 10:34pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Chibest2000: u made some nice comments here, but where i will disagree wit u is 2 say dat self-esteem is heriditry while we hv pple wit diffrent self- esteem coming 4rom d same home. Better u say is a result of parental upbringing but can b influence by one's personality . Gud comments nice try. Self-esteem is not a result of parental upbringing in some cases. Hereditary is not a contributory factor to self-esteem in some cases. We might have people from the same home having different self esteem issues because none of us are the same. You might share the same gene as your siblings, but does that mean that you all look similar? Do you have the same height, weight, skin tone etc.??... ...NO! 1 Like |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Nobody: 10:35pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
abiL: Those people are weaklings - they don't need therapy, they just need to know who they are... Once you understand yourself and know your capabilities, you shouldn't have self-esteem issues... |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by coogar: 10:36pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
shymexx: I need to put this out there... some other kids would use that excuse to do stüpid things and blame their tough upbringing for their irresponsibilities. when i see a serial killer blame his parents for what he became, i always laugh @ them. they should go to nigeria and see how school teachers and parents discipline the kids........
sometimes, the cane would come handy.....but with a reasonable force! |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Nobody: 10:40pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
coogar: Those are mentally weak folks who just like to whine about everything and play the blame game... sometimes, the cane would come handy.....but with a reasonable force! Reasonable force - that's the most important thing... Even Tony Blair once bragged about smacking his kids around, whenever they don't act right... |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by abiL(f): 10:41pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
coogar: You've obviously misread my post. When I said parents should be careful, I didn't mean that parents shouldn't discipline their children. Parents should be careful by.... • not neglecting their kids • not depriving their children of the love that they crave and deserve • remembering that words sometimes have more impact and are not easily forgotten than getting beaten. ETC... Parents should defo not spare the rod. I got beats as a child, that has not affected me psychologically. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Nobody: 10:42pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
parental influence, the lifestyle the child is exposed to and the peer groups they spend most of their time with will have an effect on that child's behaviour |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by dayokanu(m): 10:44pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
coogar: Well said 1 Like |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Smilingbob(m): 10:44pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Low self esteem z as a result of HYPOGARRIOLOGY(LOW G4 INTAKE)... If u wanna quote me wrng ask Dem G....a.....R.....r.....I Lords....dey v al gat gud Self Esteem..if nat y r dey LORDS OF GARR! On Nl |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by abiL(f): 10:46pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
shymexx: Some individuals require a counsellor to help them reach a conclusion about who they are. Everyone is different... Individual differences. Also with African cultures, seeing a counsellor/ therapist is a rare thing to do, but in western societies, people book appointments with a therapist for trivial things. Some people lack the ability to believe in themselves and their capabilities. They need someone to tell and reassure them that they are worthy. If all of us are "black and strong", I won't be earning a salary. I won't have a job. We need people who needs us to tell them what they already know, but lack the self believe to do it in the comfort of their home. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by 3kay945(m): 10:51pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
whichever way you look at it, it still boils down to NATURE and NURTURE things because they involved in moulding the human self-esteem. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by swizz01(m): 10:55pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
To me I tink low esteem is a personal stuff......cz d moment u start feelin inferior,u'll start degradin urslf...... |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Nobody: 11:12pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
different factors add up to a person's low or high self-esteem BUT parents can do a lot to build up a high self-esteem in a child. people argue how it's done best. I think a lot of love is a very important factor. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by cap28: 11:14pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
low self esteem arises as a result of lack of love and support from parents and it is exacerbated when the child lives within a society or culture that does not value people from his or her background. for example if a black child grows up with a lot of neglect and lack of emotional support from their parents they are definitely going to have a very poor image of themselves, because that child has never known what love is and if you have never been shown love you can not have love for yourself neither can you give love as you dont know how to. The problem is further worsened when that same child grows up in a place like europe or america where blacks are routinely degraded and devalued by white society as a whole and the western media in constantly projects negative images of black people all over their media. Take a look at an experiment that was carried out in america to determine whether black children suffer from low esteem -they were shown a black doll and a white doll and they were asked to pick the one they felt was more beautiful and intelligent - time and time again these preschool black kids kept picking up the white doll when asked about positive traits and the black doll when asked about negative traits - what does that tell you? surely if you grow up in an environment where it is pounded into your head day in and day out that you are worthless you will eventually see yourself as worthless. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybDa0gSuAcg 1 Like |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by coogar: 11:16pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
carefreewannabe: different factors add up to a person's low or high self-esteem BUT parents can do a lot to build up a high self-esteem in a child. you mean all those kids who hang themselves after getting bullied in school don't have parents who built their self esteem? the most common place where a child's self confidence get shattered the most is the school/environment, not the home! |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by playahP(m): 11:17pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
k2039: To me it's the individual. You are very very very wrong my friend.... You said u have good esteem right? How was ur childhood?? |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Nobody: 11:19pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
cap28: low self esteem arises as a result of lack of love and support from parents and it is exacerbated when the child lives within a society or culture that does not value people from his or her background. for example if a black child grows up with a lot of neglect and lack of emotional support from their parents they are definitely going to have a very poor image of themselves, because that child has never known what love is and if you have never been shown love you can not have love for yourself neither can you give love as you dont know how to. The problem is further worsened when that same child grows up in a place like europe or america where blacks are routinely degraded and devalued by white society as a whole and the western media in constantly projects negative images of black people all over their media. Take a look at an experiment that was carried out in america to determine whether black children suffer from low esteem -they were shown a black doll and a white doll and they were asked to pick the one they felt was more beautiful and intelligent - time and time again these preschool black kids kept picking up the white doll when asked about positive traits and the black doll when asked about negative traits - what does that tell you? surely if you grow up in an environment where it is pounded into your head day in and day out that you are worthless you will eventually see yourself as worthless. I understand that they tested black children living in a white society. did they also have control groups? would black children growing up in a society that is mainly black react differently? how would white children react? just curious. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by coogar: 11:23pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
carefreewannabe: the experiment is rubbish - when i was a kid, i must have seen about 2000 dolls of my sisters, i have never ever seen a black doll. if i was then interviewed then to choose between a black and a white doll, i would definitely choose the white cos that's what i am familiar with......... i stand corrected but how many posters here saw a black doll in nigeria as a kid? it's always white dolls, blonde hair with some funny scary eyes - never a black doll when i was a kid! 2 Likes |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Nobody: 11:24pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
coogar: did I say that ALL children who got bullied and killed themselves have parents who didn't show them love? your question doesn't make sense at this point BECAUSE I SAID THAT parental upbringing CAN VERY MUCH HELP to develop a healthy self-esteem but NOT that it is the only factor. apart from that, we know very little about the parents whose children were being bullied and who committed suicide. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by coogar: 11:28pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
carefreewannabe: the kids are bullied because they are fat, obese, ginger/albino, and other rubbish! they become outcasts in schools - not allowed to play with others or interact....they get sad and lonely no matter how much self esteem diet the parents are feeding them with. eventually, the social stigma becomes unbearable and the kids kill themselves! |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by cap28: 11:31pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
carefreewannabe: i dont know what you mean by control groups. i dont know how black children growing up in a mainly black society would react to such a test as no such test to my knowledge has been undertaken in a black dominated country but if those black children who live in a black dominated environment were to be exposed to the same negative images that blacks in europe and america are exposed to by way of the media then i am tempted to beleive that this might affect their self image. for example jamaica is a black dominated society but the black people there place more value on light skinned people in their country like the chinese, mixed race and indians than the pure black jamaicans who make up 93% of the population. so at the end of the day its not about the population of blacks but their mentality and western influences. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by dealslip(f): 11:58pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
k2039: To me it's the individual. While agreeing †̥ some of what U̶̲̥̅̊ said, parents H̲̣̣̣̥ɑ̤̥̈̊vє̲̣̥ role †̥ pay in their children's esteem. If they start boosting their children's confidence since when they were young. Often more than not,they would raise confident children and vice versa |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Nobody: 12:08am On Nov 03, 2012 |
coogar: i have also seen the so called "different" children who were strong enough to deal with bullies. how do you explain it? |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by icez: 12:13am On Nov 03, 2012 |
I think both. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Nobody: 12:18am On Nov 03, 2012 |
icez: I think both. simple truth |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by callash: 12:20am On Nov 03, 2012 |
lool seedord247: I think its from the parents. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by promire2004(f): 12:24am On Nov 03, 2012 |
IMHO, low self esteem is largely dependent on parental upbringing rather than personality. There is an admonition on training up a child in d way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. It is the responsibility of parents to show enough love and care to their children, both in words and in deeds. Also, in d book of corinthians of the Holy Bible, (sorry, can't remember the exact verse), parents are advised not to drive their children to resentment, so they won't feel frustrated at the long run. Many parents nowadays try to instill an extremely competitive spirit into their kids. Although competition is a basic survival instinct that every human must possess, it is pertinent to know that extreme cases of competition could cause one to be highly insensitive, unrefined and selfish, which brings about decay of manners. Some parents want their kids to ALWAYS take d lead irrespective of d toes they step on to accomplish that. What I'm saying in essence is that, kids should be made to understand that success is a beautiful thing and that there are positive ways to accomplish that. A child who finds it difficult to comprehend speedily may be assisted by parents lovingly without having to remind him/her of how excellent kids his age are. Children look up to their parents in virtually every aspect of their lives hence they need their parents contributions on delicate issues. The first stage of breaking a child's low self-esteem starts from the home. Once that is done, the child would be better prepared to cope with bullying and pressure from peers. In Nigeria, especially in our traditional settings, children are perceived as been rude when they try to put up a defence over an accusation which might probably be false. They are usually hushed to keep silent. Little things like these could lower a child's self-esteem without the parents realizing it. In every home, there is need for heart-to-heart conversation between parents and children. Parents have the greatest role to play in improving a child's self-esteem. #sorry for this epistle. Was trying to be succinct as possible, lolz#. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Nobody: 12:28am On Nov 03, 2012 |
promire2004: IMHO, low self esteem is largely dependent on parental upbringing rather than personality. There is an admonition on training up a child in d way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. It is the responsibility of parents to show enough love and care to their children, both in words and in deeds. Also, in d book of corinthians of the Holy Bible, (sorry, can't remember the exact verse), parents are advised not to drive their children to resentment, so they won't feel frustrated at the long run. Many parents nowadays try to instill an extremely competitive spirit into their kids. Although competition is a basic survival instinct that every human must possess, it is pertinent to know that extreme cases of competition could cause one to be highly insensitive, unrefined and selfish, which brings about decay of manners. Some parents want their kids to ALWAYS take d lead irrespective of d toes they step on to accomplish that. What I'm saying in essence is that, kids should be made to understand that success is a beautiful thing and that there are positive ways to accomplish that. A child who finds it difficult to comprehend speedily may be assisted by parents lovingly without having to remind him/her of how excellent kids his age are. Children look up to their parents in virtually every aspect of their lives hence they need their parents contributions on delicate issues. The first stage of breaking a child's low self-esteem starts from the home. Once that is done, the child would be better prepared to cope with bullying and pressure from peers. In Nigeria, especially in our traditional settings, children are perceived as been rude when they try to put up a defence over an accusation which might probably be false. They are usually hushed to keep silent. Little things like these could lower a child's self-esteem without the parents realizing it. In every home, there is need for heart-to-heart conversation between parents and children. Parents have the greatest role to play in improving a child's self-esteem. #sorry for this epistle. Was trying to be succinct as possible, lolz#. thank you. it's beautiful. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Heymus(m): 12:34am On Nov 03, 2012 |
Its more of personality, one can be whatever he/she wishes. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by Originalsly: 1:05am On Nov 03, 2012 |
I think personality and environment. Parental upbringing is a part of environment. Isn't this similar to why one would be courageous?...or a coward? No silver bullet answer. |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by tavon(m): 1:36am On Nov 03, 2012 |
I think self esteem all boils down to the personality of the individual. While parents might have little or no influence on a child's self esteem you have to realise that no two kids of the same parent are the same. Not all children are the black sheep of the family or end up with a low self esteem. 1 Like |
Re: Is Low Self Esteem A Result Of Parental Upbringing Or Personality? by agohavivi(f): 1:36am On Nov 03, 2012 |
vislabraye: Self esteme can never be as a result of personality. You cant say some1 is born to have inferiority complex.Exactly. |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)
"Marriage Will Forever Be One Of Life's Achievements" - Jullie Cassie / Why Are Relatives Always Jealous Of One's Success? / How Do You Cope, Divorced And Separated Men
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 79 |