A guy with marital problems wrote a letter to the system analyst (Marriage Software Division) of a software company:
Dear Systems Analyst, I am desperate to get some help! I recently upgraded my
program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and discovered that the new program
began unexpected Child Processing andalso took up a lot of space and valuable
resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product module. In addition, Wife 1.0
installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and
then it monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes
the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected "Saturday Rugby 6.3"always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1"
runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this program.
Can you please help? ...
…and this was the analyst’s reply
Dear Customer, This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the
Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.
Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its programmer to run everything on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to purge (remove)Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend
7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete
or purge the program files from the System once it is installed. Some people
have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more
problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as
best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has
caused them, you must run the......... C:\APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and
avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system. It may be
necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE several number of times, and
eventually hope that the operating systemwill return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance program, can be
very rewarding. To get the most out of it,consider buying additional Software such as
"Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\
UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or even Eating out without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has already started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary2.1” (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as
this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.
BEST WISHES!
And if everything fails,contact software maker- tech support and
ask to speak to the Head of Operations -named GOD for solutions to your entire wife.1 software problem.
Yours in service, Systems Analyst.

Installing wife 2.0, 3.0 and 4.0 simultaneously confuses wife 1.0 and allows husband.exe to start afresh.

Suggest this approach to anyone with wife 1.0 uninstallation issues

@O.P...Good lol

@OPGood....lol @OPGood....lol

If wife 1.0 gives you too much trouble and all solutions fail,you can format the system with with Divorce 2.0.

Thats my litusista! nice one!

IZUKWU: If wife 1.0 gives you too much trouble and all solutions fail,you can format the system with with Divorce 2.0.

Seconded.

jeez! Am even thinking of installing 'wife 1.0' in my system!!

heheh!

I read dis 6month ago in nairaland. U try sha. Next tyme quote source

why do u guys treat marriage like its an achievement for women...is that all there is to a woman?

Hilarious!!!!!!!

A good version of WIFE 1.0 is very good because when u download CHILD 0.5 from WIFE1.0 but the problem is that we need regular subscription (finance) for Auto-upgrade of CHILD 0.5 so owning the entire system is quite challenging.

mondi_cheeks: why do u guys treat marriage like its an achievement for women...is that all there is to a woman?

sorry babe, but It is the apex achievement for women irrespective their degree or status. Especially with the time bomb called "age" ticking away to explosion...

mondi_cheeks: why do u guys treat marriage like its an achievement for women...is that all there is to a woman?

yes in africa marriage is the greatest acheivement for a woman

lefulefu:
yes in africa marriage is the greatest acheivement for a woman

in ur village

Beync: in ur village

my village get levels
nah for my village the first man wey ride bicycle for naija come from