Salute to all my nairalanders.

Looking around in our society here in nigeria, it gradually becoming a norm to see prgnant brides.
This is against the dictates of most religion practiced in nigeria. More worrying is when i see the daughters of parents who preach against this trend take the same route. People however justify their action with excuses likeI want to be sure she is not barren; my auntie did not have a child after her marriage because of some witch that was present on the wedding day. i even hear some mother in-laws enforce it on the wife to be that she must be pregnant.

So my people should pregnancy be a pre-requisite to marriage?

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it should not be, but it depends on what d wife and d husband want, everybody with his/her own opinion.

However, if there is pregnancy before marriage, probably when they dont plan for it or as commonly used "it was by mistake".....it is better to have d baby than to abort d pregnancy because of wedding, that is hypocrisy.

Children are "valued" in Nigerian Society. But what does value mean? A woman is not "valued" until she becomes a wife and mother. Because many people that have children CANNOT take care of their kids. They can even barely take care of themselves sef.

Really sad reality that Nigerians continue to create for themselves. That a woman/man is not considered VALUABLE if he/she is not able to produce babies is sad. I wonder if these women/men being treated like things understand that at the end of the day, what they end up in is a sad representation of what marriage is. How can a woman marry a man who only values her for her birthing abilities? I mean there is no way to say "I love you only if you can have babies" and refer to that as genuine love.

In our custom and tradition, main reason of marriage is to procreate and continue your lineage. Any woman who cannot conceive is known or seen as enemy of progress. Now, if you are with the notion that you must marry the person you love, it is another wrong thing. Why, is because, you don't know a person's tru color until you get married to him or her. If you courted someone for 20years without marriage, I must say you just know little part of that person. Cos marriage will reveal who a person really is.
Lastly is that, if you want to marry, you must know that, that person you are marrying as become part of you. Flesh of flesh, bones of bones, blood of blood and everything of everything. If the both of you understands this and now adding love as an ingredient, then, you will be able to conquer anything.

50 to 75% of marriages end in DIVORCE.
I am sure 'pregnancy' was the cause too!
Nothing as humiliating as giving birth to a m0ron with a m0ron.
Reminding you of that FOR LIFE. . . . is almost too much to bear!
Damn if you do. . .damn if you don't.
The most unfortunate part is that you struggle to give legitimacy to your children, even if it means having a bulging bag of water at the altar. Then you get divorced after the children are born. . . BACK TO BASTARD STATUS!

chaircover: funny enough I have seen the opposite where a couple who already had a church wedding date but accidentally got pregnant decided to abort the baby because the church refused to marry them and they didn't want to loose face in front of all their invited guests.

Thankfully people got involved and advised them to get married in the registry instead. They had their baby and have been TTC ever since.

A lot of things are just so wrong in Nigeria!

Madam CC, u are right, so many things are wrong here, especially with religious fanatics, personally, i dont like hypocrisy, i have a friend, very close friend, she got pregnant after d introduction, she already have church wedding date ahead, so because of d fear dt d church will not join them, she decided to abort d preggy, d husband pleaded not to abort, he even reported her to me in particular about d incidence, i went to her place and pleaded that she should not abort d preggy, that she can go to d registry and have her wedding done there, she refused totally and got d prenancy aborted without d approval of d husband, with d excuse dt she cant miss d church wedding and that the congregation will make jest of her, to cut d long story short, she aborted d preggy, and went ahead with d church wedding, very big wedding, but, till now, since 2001, she is yet to get pregnant again, now she is regretting her action of 11 yrs ago now. Is dt not hypocrisy?
If one can abstain till after wedding, fine, if one cannot, and get pregnant, instead of pretending and making pple believe that u are a saint, have your baby and go for registry/court wedding........simple.

greatgod2012:

Madam CC, u are right, so many things are wrong here, especially with religious fanatics, personally, i dont like hypocrisy, i have a friend, very close friend, she got pregnant after d introduction, she already have church wedding date ahead, so because of d fear dt d church will not join them, she decided to abort d preggy, d husband pleaded not to abort, he even reported her to me in particular about d incidence, i went to her place and pleaded that she should not abort d preggy, that she can go to d registry and have her wedding done there, she refused totally and got d prenancy aborted without d approval of d husband, with d excuse dt she cant miss d church wedding and that the congregation will make jest of her, to cut d long story short, she aborted d preggy, and went ahead with d church wedding, very big wedding, but, till now, since 2001, she is yet to get pregnant again, now she is regretting her action of 11 yrs ago now. Is dt not hypocrisy?
If one can abstain till after wedding, fine, if one cannot, and get pregnant, instead of pretending and making pple believe that u are a saint, have your baby and go for registry/court wedding........simple.

Too bad,being the traditional doctor that I'm,I threw my Opele on the ground and consulted the oracle and I was told that womb is damaged.


On a more serious note,I hope her womb is still intact.


Smh,she is extremely stupi.d,the fact that she got pregnant after the traditional wedding shows that she committed no sin,as far as God was concerned she was married(traditional marriage is the most recognised by God,the parents have given their children's hand in marriage).

k2039:

Too bad,being the traditional doctor that I'm,I threw my Opele on the ground and consulted the oracle and I was told that womb is damaged.


On a more serious note,I hope her womb is still intact.


Smh,she is extremely stupi.d,the fact that she got pregnant after the traditional wedding shows that she committed no sin,as far as God was concerned she was married(traditional marriage is the most recognised by God,the parents have given their children's hand in marriage).

that is it, but none of us can say dt to her face, she has been going from churches to churches, hospitals to hospitals,from traditional to tradomedical to medical etc, i just pray God have mercy on her.
Last yr, she said to me;"ore, if i had known, i would have listened to u", i just calm her down, there is nothing i could say again, but recently, i advise her to go for adoption, which she vehemently turned down, saying she is certain she will have her own, and dt is exactly what we have been praying for.

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

Let me ask ifa



I haf a question 4 u...wil u approve ǖя̩̥̊ daughter to get pregnant before marriage?if yes,then close d thread,if no then close the thread

Whichever way

WE AFRICANS ALWAYS PLAY HYPOCRITICAL ROLL ON THIS TOPIC, IF THE MAN IS RELATED TO US THEN IT'S RIGHT BUT IF NA THE WOMAN TORY GO ENTER

greatgod2012:

Madam CC, u are right, so many things are wrong here, especially with religious fanatics, personally, i dont like hypocrisy, i have a friend, very close friend, she got pregnant after d introduction, she already have church wedding date ahead, so because of d fear dt d church will not join them, she decided to abort d preggy, d husband pleaded not to abort, he even reported her to me in particular about d incidence, i went to her place and pleaded that she should not abort d preggy, that she can go to d registry and have her wedding done there, she refused totally and got d prenancy aborted without d approval of d husband, with d excuse dt she cant miss d church wedding and that the congregation will make jest of her, to cut d long story short, she aborted d preggy, and went ahead with d church wedding, very big wedding, but, till now, since 2001, she is yet to get pregnant again, now she is regretting her action of 11 yrs ago now. Is dt not hypocrisy?
If one can abstain till after wedding, fine, if one cannot, and get pregnant, instead of pretending and making pple believe that u are a saint, have your baby and go for registry/court wedding........simple.

And the man still married her? Two of them are the same!

DANILSA: WE AFRICANS ALWAYS PLAY HYPOCRITICAL ROLL ON THIS TOPIC, IF THE MAN IS RELATED TO US THEN IT'S RIGHT BUT IF NA THE WOMAN TORY GO ENTER

Exactly!

This seems like a rehetorical question to me. Just because ppl do it doesn't mean it an accepted norm. Did Adam impregnate eve before marrying her?

DANILSA: WE AFRICANS ALWAYS PLAY HYPOCRITICAL ROLL ON THIS TOPIC, IF THE MAN IS RELATED TO US THEN IT'S RIGHT BUT IF NA THE WOMAN TORY GO ENTER

Speak for yourself . . not for all Africans.

chaircover: funny enough I have seen the opposite where a couple who already had a church wedding date but accidentally got pregnant decided to abort the baby because the church refused to marry them and they didn't want to loose face in front of all their invited guests.

Thankfully people got involved and advised them to get married in the registry instead. They had their baby and have been TTC ever since.

A lot of things are just so wrong in Nigeria!

Funnily enough....when will Nigerians get this expression right?...Lose face. Orrgh!Meanwhile Nigerians are hypocrites! Mama will help daughter to abort on Sat and on Sun,we will do thanksgiving in the church and even quarrel with people who didn't come.

This is what happens when people do not know their religion better, rather focus on traditions and stuffs.
Religiously, people should have faith and believe in God's plan for them...

is not a prerequiisite for marriage

Smile4mee01: Salute to all my nairalanders.

Looking around in our society here in nigeria, it gradually becoming a norm to see prgnant brides.
This is against the dictates of most religion practiced in nigeria. More worrying is when i see the daughters of parents who preach against this trend take the same route. People however justify their action with excuses likeI want to be sure she is not barren; my auntie did not have a child after her marriage because of some witch that was present on the wedding day. i even hear some mother in-laws enforce it on the wife to be that she must be pregnant.

So my people should pregnancy be a pre-requisite to marriage?

@Bolded
what does the bible say about fornication? This is why so many marriages in Nigeria are breaking up or are unhappy hell holes. God gave we humans a commandment but some of you think you can outsmart God. Was Eve already knocked up when God took a rib from Adam and created her? You people keep quoting man-made culture and societal expectations as a reason to fornicate and sin. Then on Sunday, you hypocrites go to church to raise up "holy" hands or maybe I should call it soiled hands.

My bible tells me that God will not be mocked. Don't expect peace and happiness throughout your marital life if you built your marriage on a false premise or shaky foundation. Marriage is for companionship first. Children are an added blessing. I personally don't follow or adhere to Nigerian culture because Nigerian/African culture for the most part goes against God's commandments and laws. I am not going to risk losing my salvation because I unfortunately came into this world through Nigerian/African parents.

ashson: This is what happens when people do not know their religion better, rather focus on traditions and stuffs.
Religiously, people should have faith and believe in God's plan for them...

Don't mind them. I have come to realize that most Nigerians who call themselves Christians are not REAL Christians. They just go to church but don't take their time to study the word of God and let it sink into their skulls. This is why Jesus said that not everyone who calls him "Lord, Lord" will inherit the kingdom of heaven. Maybe Jesus had all these wishy-washy Nigerian Christians in mind when He made that statement.

I want to say here categorically that, although Churches don’t like you being impregnated before coming to the church for your marriage but who say church will not wed you after you delivered of your baby. What it mean is that, since you prefer to get pregnant before your wedding, then you should prepared to give birth to your child before coming for wedding, and that is the church stand about this. You have the option now.

what of if you get pregnant and God forbid along the line after the wedding you have miscarriage. What will happen? Will he filed for divorce?

ferdimako:

And the man still married her? Two of them are the same!

Ah! This was my thought exactly. They must both be equally stupid. It is a greater sin to abort the pregnancy than to have the wedding while pregnant. What a very daft way of thinking.

ferdimako:

Funnily enough....when will Nigerians get this expression right?...Lose face. Orrgh!Meanwhile Nigerians are hypocrites! Mama will help daughter to abort on Sat and on Sun,we will do thanksgiving in the church and even quarrel with people who didn't come.

Funny enough is the right expression.

greatgod2012:

Madam CC, u are right, so many things are wrong here, especially with religious fanatics, personally, i dont like hypocrisy, i have a friend, very close friend, she got pregnant after d introduction, she already have church wedding date ahead, so because of d fear dt d church will not join them, she decided to abort d preggy, d husband pleaded not to abort, he even reported her to me in particular about d incidence, i went to her place and pleaded that she should not abort d preggy, that she can go to d registry and have her wedding done there, she refused totally and got d prenancy aborted without d approval of d husband, with d excuse dt she cant miss d church wedding and that the congregation will make jest of her, to cut d long story short, she aborted d preggy, and went ahead with d church wedding, very big wedding, but, till now, since 2001, she is yet to get pregnant again, now she is regretting her action of 11 yrs ago now. Is dt not hypocrisy?
If one can abstain till after wedding, fine, if one cannot, and get pregnant, instead of pretending and making pple believe that u are a saint, have your baby and go for registry/court wedding........simple.

imagine dt. Culture, customs n traditions aside, l want kids, as 4 me.

greatgod2012:

that is it, but none of us can say dt to her face, she has been going from churches to churches, hospitals to hospitals,from traditional to tradomedical to medical etc, i just pray God have mercy on her.
Last yr, she said to me;"ore, if i had known, i would have listened to u", i just calm her down, there is nothing i could say again, but recently, i advise her to go for adoption, which she vehemently turned down, saying she is certain she will have her own, and dt is exactly what we have been praying for.

automaticall she has create good reason 4 hr husband to divorce hr in d future. Why are some ladies so crazy about show off-big birthday party, elaborate weddin flashy cars, handsome very very very very tall guys? Vanity!

Ada Nri1: This seems like a rehetorical question to me. Just because ppl do it doesn't mean it an accepted norm. Did Adam impregnate eve before marrying her?

which registry n where exactly did Adam n eve got wedded? Marriage is a union of two souls not d union of 2persons-man n wife. Wedding is d union of the man n d wife not there souls...D moment dey had sex dy r married cos a spiritual convenant exists btw them instantly....

Maybe someone can even quote for me where it says "white wedding" is a marriage sanctioned by God in the bible. Or where it says one must marry while not pregnant? Wasn't Mary pregnant with Jesus before marriage to Joseph? Nigerians and oversabi. If I get pregnant my priest must marry me, my husband and the bele together.nonsense! . He without sin should cast the first stone. All these churches forcing people to sin because they want to prove "most moral"

All the noise about religion is hypocrisy . They go to prayer houses for God/Pastor to make them rich, but they think nothing about fornication. They even justify it.

i can't blame those who put pregnancy first before marriage.
reasons;check out the rate of waywardness and promiscuity of our ladies nowadays,some av used drugs to flush out/damage dea reproductive organs,while some are bn troubled by genarational curses.
som ar assigned two children in life but thru illicit affairs,got pregnant twice n flush them out.
some gave birth to babies n dump them cos they ar nt ready,dis babies' fate do smtimes prevent d coming of others.
only a virgin u cud consider/cope wt