Ideally, its the new mother's mum that should take charge. But me i no mind both, the more the merrier.

jidegirl12:

I don't know where you're from but where I'm from and Igbo side(from what I've seen) it has always been the mother in-law ( husband's side) that comes to stay for a while, ofcourse the wife's mom can drop in whenever too.

false

jidegirl12:

I don't know where you're from but where I'm from and Igbo side(from what I've seen) it has always been the mother in-law ( husband's side) that comes to stay for a while, ofcourse the wife's mom can drop in whenever too.

as the matter of fact the wife's mom will excuse her cos that's the way it is..... cultural thing I guess and it feels right too

But but with the way things are turning around lately esp reading from NL lately , things might have changed now , power struggles everywhere no be small thing.

And like I mentioned earlier everybody can join the party too I really don't care and there's nothing like family .

How long..... for me I'll take 1year

Am not sure dat ur really from Igbo, cos in Igbo Land it has always been d wife's mother. And they normally stays for a period of 2-3months depending.

clemmonce: i wil prefer my wife's mum cos she wil be able to take care of her daughter very wel but the disadvantage is that she might pollute her heart.

If she didn't "pollute" her heart before, why would she when she's had a baby? will you be doing something differently then...?

Elebiju: em...if ngozi iweala is ur mother will she come and babysit?

why would she not babysit her grandchild?
Some busy mothers have their daughters over at their family house during the omugwo period.

jidegirl12: Ideally it's the husband's mom but if the wife's mom wants to join the party too, why not? The more the merrier ......

Just stay out of the way of fire-works

Is there supposed to be any issues out of this?
Anyway, when my wife gave birth for the first time, it was my mother that came to stay with us for about 2 months but, she has to return because farm work.
However, when we had the second birth, my mother came and stayed with for one year because, she was not very strong. No contest for who stays long or not. Thank you.

I prefer my mum. We can both fight and argue, and she understands that it is my temperament. So she won't take offense. Plus I could be quite impatient being an expert multi tasker and a semi perfectionist. I don't do too well with people handling my personal stuff, including the baby. I like things my way, so MIL and I may clash. When the baby is a few months older and I have adjusted a bit, MIL can come and play with it.

@ topic, none.

I prefer my mother in law cos she will knw how to handle her daughter well

Viewing

jidegirl12:

That's not true Jo , it even has a special name theyll it

. I don't know the part of Igbo you are from? But in Igbo tradition it is the wife's mother that goes for Omugwo because she is closer to the wife. Even if you watch all this nolly hood movies you'll always see Mama Gee going for Omugwo as the Mother of the wife

jidegirl12:

I don't know where you're from but where I'm from and Igbo side(from what I've seen) it has always been the mother in-law ( husband's side) that comes to stay for a while, ofcourse the wife's mom can drop in whenever too.

as the matter of fact the wife's mom will excuse her cos that's the way it is..... cultural thing I guess and it feels right too

But but with the way things are turning around lately esp reading from NL lately , things might have changed now , power struggles everywhere no be small thing.

And like I mentioned earlier everybody can join the party too I really don't care and there's nothing like family .

How long..... for me I'll take 1year

am igbo nd 4rm my side its d wife's mum who comes nd stays wit her 4 abt a month

Lasinoh: Whoever the WOMAN(MOTHER OF THE NEW BABY) feels comfortable with.
Simple! She is the one to benefit or suffer from all the commotion!
No-brainer!

.These lactogen women dont feel comfortable with any other peson than their mother. Husband mother is often presume a suspect.

The wife feels more freely with her own mother....so, in my own opinion, let her mum stays cos she can order her mum around as she likes.

jidegirl12:

I don't know where you're from but where I'm from and Igbo side(from what I've seen) it has always been the mother in-law ( husband's side) that comes to stay for a while, ofcourse the wife's mom can drop in whenever too.

as the matter of fact the wife's mom will excuse her cos that's the way it is..... cultural thing I guess and it feels right too

But but with the way things are turning around lately esp reading from NL lately , things might have changed now , power struggles everywhere no be small thing.

And like I mentioned earlier everybody can join the party too I really don't care and there's nothing like family .

How long..... for me I'll take 1year

What part of Ibo land are you from?? I doubt if it is the Igbo of the Eastern part,coz in Ibo land,it is the wife's mother that comes for the "omugwo" and not the husband's like you posited.

jidegirl12:

I don't know where you're from but where I'm from and Igbo side(from what I've seen) it has always been the mother in-law ( husband's side) that comes to stay for a while, ofcourse the wife's mom can drop in whenever too.

as the matter of fact the wife's mom will excuse her cos that's the way it is..... cultural thing I guess and it feels right too

But but with the way things are turning around lately esp reading from NL lately , things might have changed now , power struggles everywhere no be small thing.

And like I mentioned earlier everybody can join the party too I really don't care and there's nothing like family .

How long..... for me I'll take 1year

ur answer is very wrong, in my own Imo state, in Igbo land, it is the right of wife Mom to take care of her daughter after given birth. We call it ile omuogwu, i'm not sure i got the spelling of the Igbo right. even in the wife village all the woman in the community will be waiting for the wife Mom to come back and give them something, there is usually right to give the community woman, for celebrating the birth of the new borne baby.

[/color][color=#770077] :oaas 4 me o na turn by turn...
my wife's mum 1st then my mum

In Igbo culture is d wife's mum. If I see my MIL heavens will shake becos it is not right

Some people are getting it all wrong. By placing culture and customs over the wellbeing of their family.
If the mother of the husband stays, can she actually assist your wife? Can your wife send your mother an errand? Can she actually treat the wife like her own daughter?
As for me, I will prefer that the mother of the wife stays. She will be able to take care of her daughter, cook for her, the daughter can send her any errand, will help her wash the cloth of the baby, wash the husband's cloth and many more things.
Only thing is that when she's going. She will go with a lot of memorable gift items of appreciation.
The mother of the husband can join, but the main person who does the job is the wife's mother.

jidegirl12:

I don't know where you're from but where I'm from and Igbo side(from what I've seen) it has always been the mother in-law ( husband's side) that comes to stay for a while, ofcourse the wife's mom can drop in whenever too.

as the matter of fact the wife's mom will excuse her cos that's the way it is..... cultural thing I guess and it feels right too

But but with the way things are turning around lately esp reading from NL lately , things might have changed now , power struggles everywhere no be small thing.

And like I mentioned earlier everybody can join the party too I really don't care and there's nothing like family .

How long..... for me I'll take 1year

I want to assume you are not Igbo or you were adopted.
Everybody knows that its igbo culture for the wife's mother to come for "Omugwo"

I think the wife's mother is better because there will be somethings you dear not send your mother-in-law but the wife's mother will definitely understand her better.

Some are saying you can‘t send your mother in law certain errands. Pls is there any errand the woman/man can‘t run themselves? Some MIL will gladly help anyway.

AJJ: Some are saying you can‘t send your mother in law certain errands. Pls is there any errand the woman/man can‘t run themselves? Some MIL will gladly help anyway.

Truth is, you can't relate with any other "elderly" woman as you would with your mother.

From all that has been said, I realise there is no one way to resolve this puzzle. It must take into consideration the culture(s) of the couple. If they are of differing tribes and there may be a clash of cultural practices, they both have to sit and agree on the matter. I am tempted to say the man's decision may be critical. However, serious thought must be give to the emotions of the wife and her convenience. It must not be resolved by the Lord-and-Slave method. I know why I am saying this because it was a bridge I had to cross as a man. In all, a lot of wisdom is required and should be applied because as simple as it appears, it is yet very complicated and if not well managed, it may create a rift that may last well into the future. Whichever choice is made, as much as possible all the parties, i.e. husband and wife, both couple's mothers, must be happy. A man must know how to manage his own household. No hard and fast rule. Wisdom profits much!

jidegirl12:

I don't know where you're from but where I'm from and Igbo side(from what I've seen) it has always been the mother in-law ( husband's side) that comes to stay for a while, ofcourse the wife's mom can drop in whenever too.

as the matter of fact the wife's mom will excuse her cos that's the way it is..... cultural thing I guess and it feels right too

But but with the way things are turning around lately esp reading from NL lately , things might have changed now , power struggles everywhere no be small thing.

And like I mentioned earlier everybody can join the party too I really don't care and there's nothing like family .


How long..... for me I'll take 1year

Am igbo, and in igbo land its the girls mother that comes after child birth. Its called omugwu

Cidi: In Igbo culture is d wife's mum. If I see my MIL heavens will shake becos it is not right

@Cidi I want to believe ur comment was a joke if it not den watch it cos one day u'll be called mother in-law in no time, how will u feel if ur daughter in-law makes dis comment about u,dat woman took gudcare of ur hubby till u took over so lean to appreciate dat in her.

Don't get her wrong I understand wot u mean it shows u have issues with ur MIL but am sure urs can never be like mine but with wisdom u can be her bestfriend just like I did.

We will all be MOTHER IN-LAWS oneday so let love n respect d one we have now no matter wot.

clemmonce: i wil prefer my wife's mum cos she wil be able to take care of her daughter very wel but the disadvantage is that she might pollute her heart.

U said the truth at the very end of a wrong statement... I mean if u know she's going 2 pollute her heart so why must u prefer her 2 come first?

Elebiju: hmmm I know ur type o possesive,obsessive and jealous,have u forgotten that the private possesion u cherished and ur husband belongs to ur mother in law,can u marry the guy if the mother had been possesive and jealous like u,I fear for ur husband o.

If I were like u, I'd reply by tagging u wt d same or worse labels u av so "graciously" used. However I AM BETTER THAN YOU not because I am super human but becos I have learnt to rise above pettiness.
I argue in candor without rancor, a difference in opinion does not necessarily mean one is right and the other wrong or vice-versa.On the contrary, that is what development and progress is built upon. If everyone seems to agree with u all of the time they might as well be saying," lets leave the fool to wear himself out". It is a pity that u and ur likes have not realized that, and choose instead to cast aspersions on people who differ with u in opinion. What I submitted is but an opinion which anybody is free to disagree with minus the uncouth language and stereotype.
From here on however QED! Thank u.

some-girl:


Truth is, you can't relate with any other "elderly" woman as you would with your mother.

What if mum and daughter re always at loggerheads?

I am from ESAN EDO STATE, I will prefer my wife 's Mother when i am married, because I believe she will be more comfortable with her mother