Vikin:

I trust him so much that he wont do the same...even if he does, not my business as long as my little allowee no short.

Vikin:

I trust him so much that he wont do the same...even if he does, not my business as long as my little allowee no short.

Vikin:

I TRUST him so much that he wont do the same...even if he does, not my business as long as my little allowee no short.

So why can't you keep that trust by not doing the same and seeing as you have already done it, why not let him know what you have done.

You never can tell, your Best Laid plan may just backfire.

Vikin:

My dear, you dont understand...dont mind all these women claiming partnership, yes it exist but we still love hiding money for emergency shopping! Speaking for myself o!

The money we take out for emergency shopping its the best. So, her hubby should understand. Its not every thing you punch calculator

Vikin: On issue of marriage partnership, I hearby confess of having some income hubby doesnt know it exist. After we met, i moved my hard earned cash and tendered the remaining as account balance for partnership

Feels good to know you have some cash somewhere that is not to be touched. But me and hubby account...na we get am!

I love partnership!

that is what a naija woman calls a partnership - in which she is essentially cheating her husband - smh

nothing short of disgusting and precisely why saga says women are selfish

you can be sure the 'emergency shopping' is little more than jewellery , expensive shoes and the likes and the ability to live beyond her means and then stress out the husband even more

if on the other hand this poster found that her husband was hiding money and buying man toys, she'd be raising hell about her 'irresponsible husband'

naija women sha


you can be sue vikin is always sneaking and snooping around through her husbands phone and internet, tryin to be sure he is not hiding any income - because thats what happens when you're 'smart' - you become paranoid

eagle,eye:
[b][/b]

So why can't you keep that trust by not doing the same and seeing as you have already done it, why not let him know what you have done.

You never can tell, your Best Laid plan may just backfire.

Leave me abeg! Today na wednesday, I dont have any plans o. It is the way it is.

Vikin Abeg make una go create thread for 'stashing money in a marriage' and stop derailing na una footstep I dey follow o NOT!

oyb:




that is what a naija woman calls a partnership - in which she is essentially cheating her husband - smh

nothing short of disgusting and precisely why saga says women are selfish

you can be sure the 'emergency shopping' is little more than jewellery , expensive shoes and the likes and the ability to live beyond her means and then stress out the husband even more

if on the other hand this poster found that her husband was hiding money and buying man toys, she'd be raising hell about her 'irresponsible husband'

naija women sha


you can be sue vikin is always sneaking and snooping around through her husbands phone and internet, tryin to be sure he is not hiding any income - because thats what happens when you're 'smart' - you become paranoid

Go make some cash and quit complaining!



I dont snoop around, just like i said, its OUR account. Na partnership we dey na.

But seriously, big boys dont complain when their ladies have shopping allowance. They feel joy and thankGod for such a beautiful thing!

Vikin:

Go make some cash and quit complaining!



I dont snoop around, just like i said, its OUR account. Na partnership we dey na.

But seriously, big boys dont complain when their ladies have shopping allowance. They feel joy and thankGod for such a beautiful thing!

that says it all. we have to wonder of course, what these 'big boys' are doing. those of us who actually work for our money know where the shoe pinches. a person thanking God that he is giving his wife or girl friend or concubine shopping allowance - sounds like a senator

jidegirl12: Vikin Abeg make una go create thread for 'stashing money in a marriage' and stop derailing na una footstep I dey follow o NOT!

We are not derailing oh! We are all talking about allowee. Some guys can whine sha!

When yall watch ya premeirship, we should have something giving us joy na! Shoopping its one of it. Since we are on partnership, where the money wan come from?

Sometimes he does 20euro sport betting, i dont complain o.

Am just a good spouse trying to keep the existing happy home together!

oyb:

that says it all. we have to wonder of course, what these 'big boys' are doing. those of us who actually work for our money know where the shoe pinches. a person thanking God that he is giving his wife or girl friend or concubine shopping allowance - sounds like a senator

Senators na another levels oh! This money is supposed to be spent! of cos, you save but enjoy yourlife my dear.
I also work hard but that doesnt mean i will kill myself saving and saving.

Just like i said, since we are on partnership, i know the limit.

Just an advice, if the shoes pinches you so hard, go change that shoe!

Vikin:

Go make some cash and quit complaining!



I dont snoop around, just like i said, its OUR account. Na partnership we dey na.

But seriously, big boys dont complain when their ladies have shopping allowance. They feel joy and thankGod for such a beautiful thing!

Abeg, vikin this is not about Big Boys. You are being dishonest in your marriage and you know it (you may call it nothing).
Like I said earlier, if Oga were to do the same thing you are doing, will just accept it as NORMAL thing.
Marriage is a little more than Business partnership.

Vikin:

Senators na another levels oh! This money is supposed to be spent! of cos, you save but enjoy yourlife my dear.
I also work hard but that doesnt mean i will kill myself saving and saving.

Just like i said, since we are on partnership, i know the limit.

Just an advice, if the shoes pinches you so hard, go change that shoe!

i no talk am - i wish mr vikin good luck - you can be sure vikin is a 'big girl' who lives way above her means - and who is probably not employed - very few people who are can still spend money like there's no tomorrow thing anymore - they've seen too many friends lose jobs and understand the precariousness of stable income

eagle,eye:


Abeg, vikin this is not about Big Boys. You are being dishonest in your marriage and you know it (you may call it nothing).
Like I said earlier, if Oga were to do the same thing you are doing, will just accept it as NORMAL thing.
Marriage is a little more than Business partnership.

Dishonest indeed!

Maybe am even helping us for the future, you dont know.

He might be broke tomorrow, and voila! My stach away money out! How do you think he will feel. Right now, dont worry about the money. Make e breathe small for bank.

oyb:

i no talk am - i wish mr vikin good luck - you can be sure vikin is a 'big girl' who lives way above her means - and who is probably not employed - very few people who are can still spend money like there's no tomorrow thing anymore - they've seen too many friends lose jobs and understand the precariousness of stable income

You dont know me for such an assumption! ANyway, enough derailing, this is about the posters wife not me!

Let me not write too much before he starts investigating his wify. nuff said!

Vikin:

Dishonest indeed!

Maybe am even helping us for the future, you dont know.

He might be broke tomorrow, and voila! My stach away money out! How do you think he will feel. Right now, dont worry about the money. Make e breathe small for bank.

Vikin, how then do you explain to him at that point that you have been staching away money without his knowlgde? And if I were to be betting man, I will say that your reason above was not your initial intent on staching away money. Rather it could be as a back up plan, incase oga Vikin f..k up.

naija women are frightening, if Vikin is representative.

ekt_bear: naija women are frightening, if Vikin is representative.

hahahhahahha.....am on my own o! just one of 160million. so no fear, the Lord is with you!

eagle,eye:


Vikin, how then do you explain to him at that point that you have been staching away money without his knowlgde? And if I were to be betting man, I will say that your reason above was not your initial intent on staching away money. Rather it could be as a back up plan, incase oga Vikin f..k up.

Read again, the money i stached away is my money! Moi meme! (Yrs of working offshore) and its my retirement money from working offshore.

Also, this money i made before he came into the picture.

Again, the money is for us, just that he doesnt know it exist!

Vikin:

Read again, the money i stached away is my money! Moi meme! (Yrs of working offshore) and its my retirement money from working offshore.

Also, this money i made before he came into the picture.

Again, the money is for us, just that he doesnt know it exist!

I have no problem with comprehension. I aslo know that IT'S YOUR MONEY. My question is, why is it a SECRET from hubby? So if hubby, happens to keep a secret from his past before he met you and married you, IT IS NO BIG DEAL.
By that extent, hubby or hubbies are free to keep love children they had before the marriage from their spouses and it will not be A BIG DEAL.
You know what I am saying, you equally understand my arguement but you will rather turn a blind eye to the Truth.

There are no rights or wrongs here becos one size does not fit all.

According to the bible, the 2 primary roles of a man in the family are:

1. The man to show loving leadership over wife and children. Oversight of all matters in the home, both physical and spiritual. Spiritual leadership in family home Bible studies and prayers. The wife is the manager of the home, but the husband is the manager of the wife. (1 Tim 5:. When you manage your wife it means managing her resources, her as a person and the home. It means interacting with her to reach common agreement .

2. The man is the "breadwinner"( Works to make money to support family) . This means his wife earnings should NOT be considered in this matter. If she chooses to help with her earnings its a bonus but don't depend on it.

Poster should ignore all the childish advices on here and seek direction from the word of God .

It's early days in your marriage so take time to study and understand your wife so you can enjoy (and not endure) your marriage .

eagle,eye:


I have no problem with comprehension. I aslo know that IT'S YOUR MONEY. My question is, why is it a SECRET from hubby? So if hubby, happens to keep a secret from his past before he met you and married you, IT IS NO BIG DEAL.
By that extent, hubby or hubbies are free to keep love children they had before the marriage from their spouses and it will not be A BIG DEAL.
You know what I am saying, you equally understand my arguement but you will rather turn a blind eye to the Truth.

We all have secrets, i dont expect him to give me all details about his past life. Some things are better not heard.

Whatever secrets we have not yet shared that means we love ourselves and see it not necessary to share it.

Keeping love children is different from stashing money! Oh, how i love the way it sounds...(Stash, stash).

Anyway, we are doing this for the good of the family!

And stop asking me all this question, am beginning to suspect you. U be CIA?


Am just telling the OP not to lose hope. Better things are on the way!

Once in a while give her something and stop making yourself irrelevant. Get her involved in the bills as well.

@ madam debrief and cc,since i dont support my husband financially does it make me less of a good wife will he see me as a trash bag? or does it prevent us from planning since he makes bulk of the momey.am a young medical practitioner what i might make in a whole month is what he makes in half a day.plus he is not over stressed making this money,as he has people wprking for him.just as debrief said what works for A might not work for B.Every thing just depends on the pocket of the op,as i can see is causing him alot of stress.The bulk of stuffs i have are all from my hubby.so far we are happy together and this has not reduced his respect for me.

oyb:




that is what a naija woman calls a partnership - in which she is essentially cheating her husband - smh

nothing short of disgusting and precisely why saga says women are selfish

you can be sure the 'emergency shopping' is little more than jewellery , expensive shoes and the likes and the ability to live beyond her means and then stress out the husband even more

if on the other hand this poster found that her husband was hiding money and buying man toys, she'd be raising hell about her 'irresponsible husband'

naija women sha


you can be sue vikin is always sneaking and snooping around through her husbands phone and internet, tryin to be sure he is not hiding any income - because thats what happens when you're 'smart' - you become paranoid

Vikin get husband? Abi na just one smally posting thingz on Nairaland?

martin123: Please, house I need your view on this matter. Just got married, my wife and I both work, and I advice my wife to spend her salary on her up keep, while I take care of every other bill ( feeding, light, security house rent e t c), but she is insisting that I give her monthly allowance from my salary. What do I do?? Because, this is beginning to get to me. Please I need advice from the matured minds

Ol boy, no long story. I have an easy solution for you. Some women need their husband to give them money for psychological reasons, i.e. it makes them feel good. what you need to do is have her start taking care of the feeding in the house or some other bill from her own salary. Then you can give her a monthly allowance from your own salary. Problem solved. If she does not agree to this, then she is extremely selfish and you have to break the selfish mold in her NOW, otherwise you will suffer the rest of the relationship.

SELFWORTH: There are no rights or wrongs here becos one size does not fit all.

According to the bible, the 2 primary roles of a man in the family are:

1. The man to show loving leadership over wife and children. Oversight of all matters in the home, both physical and spiritual. Spiritual leadership in family home Bible studies and prayers. The wife is the manager of the home, but the husband is the manager of the wife. (1 Tim 5:. When you manage your wife it means managing her resources, her as a person and the home. It means interacting with her to reach common agreement .

2. The man is the "breadwinner"( Works to make money to support family) . This means his wife earnings should NOT be considered in this matter. If she chooses to help with her earnings its a bonus but don't depend on it.

Poster should ignore all the childish advices on here and seek direction from the word of God .

It's early days in your marriage so take time to study and understand your wife so you can enjoy (and not endure) your marriage .

Absolute nonsense. Please post the bible verse that say the man should take care of 100% of the family expenses. When the husband starts cheating on you all now, you will start complaining..

Mrs.Masson, I am not the one who described or defined character of a couple based on their spendings oh. What I said is what works for A may not work for B.
You are a up and coming medical Personal and thankfully you have great supportive husband. If along the line you get a great Job in let's say UNFPA will you still in all good conscience let your husband carry all the load and still demand for an allowance?
Even on a 50000 salary if I am the one I will contribute something even if it is simply buying gas or PHCN Units I will add my small contribution. Believe me even the best most generous people appraciate a helping hand

I was so dissapointed when initially some posters were insisting he gives the wife allowance!

It still won't change my opinion about women.....most women are just selfish. How can she have her salary all to herself and still ask for pocket money? That's a classical example of a selfish woman!!!

This is for those quoting the Bible to say The man must provide while the woman sits and only makes the home, false, The Bible lists her characters carefully as an industrious woman who CONTRIBUTES to the wealth of her family by using her hands and working hard.
Proverbs 31:11-27.
31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
31:13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
31:14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
31:15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
31:16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
31:17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
31:18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
31:19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
31:20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
31:21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
31:22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
31:24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
31:25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

This is not a picture of a "barefoot and pregnant" housewife.
This woman is trustworthy, diligent, independent, and generous..
She has her own business, her own income, her own property plus she doesn't mal treat house helps.

redfly: @Op the only folks championing ur wife's cause are d single ladies and frustrated house wives. It is illogical for her to earn a decent salary and still expect u to give her an allowance. If u can afford it comfortably then by all means feel free, but if u can't then explain it to her afterall she is ur wife. If she still insists- make she go hug transformer.

I want to say a very big thank you to every one that has responded to my post especially this one above. Happy new year to all of you

Ehnnn, Mr. Martin in as much as you are right don't start your marriage with "she can go and hug tranformer " mentality and name calling the poster you quoted wrote oh.
Of all the post decently writen na the one wey insult dey you go dey quote dey thank, no be so marriage be oh, no start like that oh.
Communication in this early stage will make or break you, don't go the rude way oh.

SELFWORTH: There are no rights or wrongs here becos one size does not fit all.

According to the bible, the 2 primary roles of a man in the family are:

1. The man to show loving leadership over wife and children. Oversight of all matters in the home, both physical and spiritual. Spiritual leadership in family home Bible studies and prayers. The wife is the manager of the home, but the husband is the manager of the wife. (1 Tim 5:. When you manage your wife it means managing her resources, her as a person and the home. It means interacting with her to reach common agreement .

2. The man is the "breadwinner"( Works to make money to support family) . This means his wife earnings should NOT be considered in this matter. If she chooses to help with her earnings its a bonus but don't depend on it.

Poster should ignore all the childish advices on here and seek direction from the word of God .

It's early days in your marriage so take time to study and understand your wife so you can enjoy (and not endure) your marriage .

This is absolute Bull Sh.it, You're obviously not married that is why you think you can practice marriage by theory. Also stop using the bible to replace what you can use your brain to reason out. A man must not and should not kill himself for any woman.