queenkhalid: my hubby is a traditional "guy", a chief to b precise, nd he he is so luving, caring and very romantic. he helps a lot in house chores nd i sincerely dont regret choosing him as my hubby, even in my next life i will still marry him.

Okija_juju: [b]AFAM!! Tradition is dead....


Lets be honest men, the number of girls that still carry our core traditional values have diminished quite alot. This 'women ;iberation/empowerment' has made girls with traditional values an endangered specie. Sending our daughters abroad to school thereby exposing them to the western culture and way of life hasnt helped matters either. It has even eaten into the way marriages are contracted. Whats left is for girls to wear (western) wedding gowns for their traditional weddings.

All our ladies today want to do is simply go shopping, look fly, do their hair and nails, fly first class to fancy destinations and party. Simply put, they all want to be beyonce.. You can date a girl for 5 years and in those 5 years, she will barely talk about raising up kids and how she intends to raise them. Ask for what they call cooking today, my brother it is pitiful. Thats why Househelps and Nannys now have companies that they work for. I visited my friend who is a newly wed and they already had a live in househelp (Barely 4 months into the marriage). I broke up with many dames because I realized that beyond the fake hair, tight jeans and push-up bras, they had absolutely nothing else to offer. A girl sleeps and wakes up and the next thing she is sitting in the living room watching DSTV. By 7:30am, whilst I am busy prepping to go to work. Couldnt even make simple coffee for me or straighten the bed. I am very traditional. I want a woman that can cook, clean my house, handle certain small household business like restock the shelves, restock my toileteries, re-stock my fridge, iron clothes e.t.c. Even if I say okay babe, dont stress yourself about XYZ, its important to know that she can do them.. Most of our girls want to live the Kim Kardashian lifestyle.

Well, while I am lashing out at the women, I will also blame the guys.. Traditional girls still abound. They just dont always come in the most fanciest of wrappings. being a slut sells better and faster than being a lady. So most girls have also stopped looking for traditional men and now want the magazine cover guys. 21st century compliant guys.

Meanwhile.. I learnt of a Lady who started dating this guy. That as soon as she came into his life, she started acting like a wife. She would pick out his clothes, buy and replace his socks (if they are torn), replace his underwears and boxers (Stuff that most guys tend to always forget to do), cook meals for him to come back from work to, bring him surprise (home cooked) lunch at work, buy and replace things like toilet rolls, bathing sponge and soap, deodorant, perfumes, e.t.c whilst keeping his house clean. When the guy gave her a key to his flat, he didnt know.. They were married after barely a year of courting. The guy became so dependent of her it was almost like she had used juju on him. MEANWHILE.. This babe schooled in Jand o!! MSc. holder.


I guess it is what it is.. I cannot date a girl with no traditional values for any reason other than sex.. _{Thank God I found one of the last few good girls in Nigeria for my wife...} [/b]

afam4eva: If there's one thing I've noticed in life, it is that people always embrace things that will benefit them. With the infiltration of western culture into Nigeria, our ladies have been mostly receptive to this culture. They embrace it and even carry it into their search for a spouse. I've heard ladies say things like "I can't marry a traditional man". Meaning that, they don't want a man who's a stickler for African tradition. I think this is just because these ladies know that African culture does not favour them so, they'll rather marry someone who has a western outlook on life.

They want a man who won't require them to cook as a typical African woman will readily do.

They want a man that will give them the kind of freedom that they desire to do whatever they want? Ask Tonto Dike.[i][/i]

They want a man that won't rule over them as the head of the family. Infact they want someone they won't submit to.

Isn't it ironic that the same ladies will want advice young people that they should respect their elders because it's part of African culture.

You can see that these ladies use and dump African culture when it suits them.

Okija_juju:


Your husband is not your mate...

Because say ehn dey follow you play no mean say una be mate.. Infact, open your bible with me to the book of I Corrinthian 11: 3 'Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. _refer..

He may be your companion, but God has given you duties that you are OBLIGATED to perform towards your man.. Now the decision for you not to do these duties rest solely with your husbands and not with you women. I see so many single girls talking shiit about not being slaves to any man. FRIST MISTAKE is that they already consider these tasks a slave labor, which is what we men have a problem with. You women want a man that will provide everything for you (as the bread winner), yet you dont want to perform your own duties.. This has nothing to do with being an Mgbeke.

We men have really suffered..

slimyem: Why quote the bible?
Did i tell you i am a christian living or bound by those ordinances?
Are slaves not excessively dependent upon and/or controlled by their masters?
Isn't that the same principles traditionalism is governed by in respect to male and female relationships?
So sir,classifying all the expectations from a traditional wife as slave labour is no mistake at all IMO.
...and you say you men have suffered? How in this case?

kulyie: men and women are equal in the sight of God,there's nothing like your man is your head,thats nonesense,we are complementary partners.its a matter of do me i do you,scratch my back,i scratch yours

kulyie: as much as i like living the good life,globe trotting,partying,going for red carpet events and looking good.i can boast of myself that i am a modern day nigerian lady in her mid twenties and i am not in anyway domestically lazy.cooking is a hobby for me,washing clothes and dishes is another thing i enjoy doing.no matter how piled up the clothes are,just give me an hour,a stool,buckets and water,it will be washed and spread in the wire.thanks to my mom she always made us do house chores till i fell in love with them,the problem is that when you are doing this consisty for a guy you are dating,they start taking you for granted,at the end of the day sef you might not get married.i remember when i was an undergraduate some years back i was in four hundred level then use to go to my boyfriends house many weekends.i will wash his dishes,cook and leave them in his freezer,clean his house if need be.i was so much in love with this guy and all.if he had money he sends,if not he doesnt and i accepted since i knew the kind of work he does and one fateful day he called me that he had found a better job,i was so happy for him,we went out to a fastfood restaurant to celebrate,infact my parents knew him and he comes to check on me and all.anyway some months later he called me over the phone that he's sorry he cant continue the relationship,i said did i upset you or something,he said no,he said look,all i want you to know is that i cant continue with the relationship,i'm getting married 2 months time.i didnt know when the phone slipped out of my hands.i was heart broken and after some time,i got over it and moved on.when i told my mom,she was like ehen you too dont cook and clean for him.if you go to his house and he says he is hungry,be looking at him or tell him to go to the eatery.if his house is

debrief08: So you want a lady who you haven't married to come and cook, wash, clean have s3x with you and iron your clothes?
Let me ask you all the ones who have done that for you how many of them have you married?
So after doing househelp for you, you look for someone else and dump her with the slightest excuse.

Women, let me advice you, if you are not a wife, don't go and be acting like one.
If he comes to your house feed him, if you go to his house and he decides to live like a pig clear a space and sit.
Value your self, a man who loves you will respect you

Those of them shouting our mothers and grandmothers, did your mothers tell you that they were cooking and cleaning for your fathers and grandfathers and sleeping with them before they paid their bride price?

Vikin:

Lol! Love is all we need. Your question na carryover be that.

We are the weaker vessel...we should be pampered. Gerrit! Not used as a tool for modern day slavery.

queenkhalid: my hubby is a traditional "guy", a chief to b precise, nd he he is so luving, caring and very romantic. he helps a lot in house chores nd i sincerely dont regret choosing him as my hubby, even in my next life i will still marry him.

Mavor: Too much social networking and reality TV are ruining the ladies of this generation.

Vikin:


Open ya eyes, those things are necessary to learn but not always applicable. Know where you use ya skills. Na girls like you I dey chop their food when I visit some guys back in those days. When we chop finish, na she go come wash plate.

Just remain good but keep your head up so some Men don't take advantage of you!

Freiburger:
In other words, women should have been caged in the Zoo abi?
Some of you 've really got to start working on what you see women to be.

Adaeze003: What's wrong if the man:
Cooks for his wife?
Cleans the house?
Takes care of his children?
Does the laundry?
Buys the groceries?
Lol! The simple answer is nothing! but I guess the guys will say stuff like 'its a woman's job' and start babbling about tradition.

In those days, all a woman wanted was to get married and have kids and once this happens she's fulfilled and complete. But now, things have changed as women now know what they can achieve. We now have dreams and goals apart from getting married. Even if a man can provide for his family ten times over, women no longer want to be house wives. It was ok for a woman to do all a man wanted because she didn't have much on her plate but to expect the same treatment from a woman that goes out to work every day is very unreasonable! What will you do? Just work? Who is the lazy person now??

And talking of tradition, is it our tradition that a man should have intercourse with his wife to be? Because all I hear these days is 'I must test drive b4 I pay' Or have guys also decided to shov the 'traditions' that do not favor them as well? Hypocrites!!

Mavor: When did being productive with your life by less social networking and less time watching junk TV imply that you are caged? Seriously nairaland should be only for the educated folks.

Witty07:
Funny enough education is not about bagging B.Sc, masters or P.hd. Its how u hve bn able to enlight amidst all u learnt and the spirit to keep improving attitudinally. Now this is education. If only they know.

bettymafy:

He's romantic and helps with house chores and u still call him a "traditional" man? U must be a slowpoke! If that is how "traditional" men are, then who wants a "modern" man?

Vikin: All these guys running around the thread like rabid dogs, quoting the bible when it suits them, thinking its every body that subscribe to the bible passages....

Just state ya opinion and leave. Real men knows what it is to take care of their wives. Your wives are supposed to be your Angels, mother of your unborn kids, not ya slave. How you treat and talk to your wife shows how your home will be built.

There are things that are less important than others...cooking its nothing, anyone can cook! Happiness is all that matters and a fulfilling life.

If am getting that in my matrimonial home, what else am I looking for?

This meal is for all the whiners! enjoy this delicious meal!

Am out!

jennykadry:

I like you

how you no go like her?!