Mrning my fellow Nairaland

I met this babe back then in the university and one thing led to another. We started dating and right from the onset she told me that our religious differences was going to be a barrier to the fulfillment of her dreams (Marriage) but reinstated that when we get to the bridge, we will know how to cross it. We became best of friends and an envy to everyone around us. The issue now is that we are miles apart and as it is the love is fading away gradually. I hardly call her this days and its been a source of worry to her. She claimed that its because am now a 'Big boy" that is why am acting this way and made mention of the fact that while we were still in school, I never showed all of this attitude.

I sincerely Love her but distance and most importantly religion is putting us apart.

What do y'al think...

What do you want to do? Do you want to continue wìth her? Are u bent on walking the aisle with her despite the barriers(religion & distance)?...Sometimes,the answer to our problems lie in our questions.

Be honest with yourself and what you really want. Besides any distractions? yeah another woman you find attractive? Always be honest first with yourself it saves time and unnecessary drama.

@ Binger...

Yea am bent on taking the Relationship to the next level but my fear is will her parent accept me? The cuss part of the matter is that she nags a lot when she is need of something and this started recently when I told her that I got a Job in one of the Top Banks. She jst finished her service year and needs a Job. She constantly feels that I should always put up with her Bills.

@ Andromida.

Basically there is no distraction. I just need a break sincerely. I need to be left alone but I jst told her that and she updated her status on BB as "Be mindful of what you throw away. What do you think?

Jideeee: @ Binger...

Yea am bent on taking the Relationship to the next level but my fear is will her parent accept me? The cuss part of the matter is that she nags a lot when she is need of something and this started recently when I told her that I got a Job in one of the Top Banks. She jst finished her service year and needs a Job. She constantly feels that I should always put up with her Bills.

Whether her family accepts you or not depends on you two.How much you love each other and how eager you are to spend the rest of your life with her determines if you'll be accepted or not.Be a man,win them over to your side.

As for the nagging part,i assume she feels you can afford anything now given that you've got a very good job.So,she gets irritated when you don't give as desired.
Solution-Sit her down and communicate with her.Let her know money shouldn't be spent as it comes.Make her see reasons and she will prolly quit nagging over financial issues.

mr op, why do i feel d problem is not religion but distance?? she is ryt, u r now a big boy working in a bank? and u ve started noticing faults. u want a break? go ahead and ve one but lyk she said, be mindful of wat u r throwing away.

Well am happy for you at least you have a mind of your own.I still think you need to be very open about everything e.g you are uncomfortable with her demands yet you are quiet about it. Be open and honest with yourself and your woman. Naturally every woman loves a generous man but it seems her imagination is running too far and yes i blame you for this you have not been totally honest with her about how her demands cannot be met simply because you are not the manager at least not yet.

Why do you need to be left alone? People in relationships don't just ask to be left alone if there is no problem. She feels thrown away because you are not telling her why you want to be left alone.

Her parents are actually important BUT it has been my experience that when you really want something you go for it. So i expect one way or the other she will be able to persuade her parents if not she would have left you or she will be singing another tune better still why don't you ask her what her parents think of you?

@ Gree-die

Am not acting this way because I have gotten a Job. I agree with you that Distance is the major thing but am not that kinda guy dat notices faults. We have been dating for 5yrs now and my status wont change my attitude towards her if something is not involved. I believe in 'what is meant to happen will surely happen'.

Jideeee: @ Gree-die

Am not acting this way because I have gotten a Job. I agree with you that Distance is the major thing but am not that kinda guy dat notices faults. We have been dating for 5yrs now and my status wont change my attitude towards her if something is not involved. I believe in 'what is meant to happen will surely happen'.

she started nagging recently?
u need a break but want to take d relationship to d next level?
u r scared her parents may object but u haven't met dem formally?
she is suddenly only interested in ur money?
ur status ll only change if sometin (nagging) is involved?

dude u ve changed!!! maybe u ve not realised it yet!
it may not be ur new job but something ve changed u and made u lose ur willingness to fight for wat u want. u r unconsciously seeking for an excuse to brk up wit her. but just b4 u do dat?

do u still love her?
can ur love 4 each oda withstand religious differences?
r u falling out of love?
do u think d glittering ladies u see are better dan her?
u can live without her but ll u be happy and content?
think!!!

@ Gree- die

I sincerely still LOVE her

My Love cant withstand religious differences cos I cant imagine bringing up children whose mind will be divided as to the religion to follow

Am not falling out of love

For glittering ladies, yes. but better than her NO

I can be happy without her

As a matter of fact am confused....

Am out!!!!!!!!

Well you've answered the most important aspect. Your love cannot withstand religious differences then you need to let her go. It has nothing to do with glittering girls sef,some glittering girls are wonderful people and we all know that. You can't handle the religious difference. Stop living in make believe world come back to the present. Your actions are affecting someone you love yet you persist in not facing the reality.

Mixed religion marriage is not for everybody. Some people can handle it,most cannot because of the level of change and acceptance it requires. Don't be confused at the same time stop leading her on. It is not a matter of what is wrong or right it is a matter of what you know you can handle. You are not to martyr yourself and needs in a relationship. If you don't take care of your self of course with consideration to the person you are involved with,how can you care properly anybody.

For 5 years what were you guys talking about? anyway it could be you thought you could handle it but now you know different.You guys need to talk ASAP.

As always we come back to the first place honesty with self. It answers all questions.

Well you've answered the most important aspect. Your love cannot withstand religious differences then you need to let her go. It has nothing to do with glittering girls sef,some glittering girls are wonderful people and we all know that. You can't handle the religious difference. Stop living in make believe world come back to the present. Your actions are affecting someone you love yet you persist in not facing the reality.

Mixed religion marriage is not for everybody. Some people can handle it,most cannot because of the level of change and acceptance it requires. Don't be confused at the same time stop leading her on. It is not a matter of what is wrong or right it is a matter of what you know you can handle. You are not to martyr yourself and needs in a relationship. If you don't take care of your self of course with consideration to the person you are involved with,how can you care properly anybody.

For 5 years what were you guys talking about? anyway it could be you thought you could handle it but now you know different.You guys need to talk ASAP.

As always we come back to the first place honesty with self. It answers all questions.

@ Andromida.

Thanks so much for your contributions so far... I think for the past 5yrs we have been together, we never faced reality. Am making this bold step because I foresee trouble in future.

I think its better to let go so that she can get some one who will love her irrespective of Religion.

I hope to find the rib of my rib and the bone of my bone but I will sincerely miss her...

You will certainly miss her as am sure she will deeply miss you too but its a price you have to pay. Note i am not saying she won't be a good wife to you but you cannot handle the fact that she beliefs differently from yourself and your family, you are afraid of the beliefs she will bring to your home but you should ask yourself what are you really afraid of?

Its good you let her go. I pray you find the woman that is truly yours.

Jideeee: @ Andromida.

Thanks so much for your contributions so far... I think for the past 5yrs we have been together, we never faced reality. Am making this bold step because I foresee trouble in future.

I think its better to let go so that she can get some one who will love her irrespective of Religion.

I hope to find the rib of my rib and the bone of my bone but I will sincerely miss her...

E don happen...your choice,bro. I hope u'll have nothing to regret.

Jideeee: @ Gree- die

I sincerely still LOVE her

My Love cant withstand religious differences cos I cant imagine bringing up children whose mind will be divided as to the religion to follow

Am not falling out of love

For glittering ladies, yes. but better than her NO

I can be happy without her

As a matter of fact am confused....

Am out!!!!!!!!

u love her but not enuf..... spare her and get out now