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Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria - Nairaland / General (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by bbulldog(m): 4:52pm On Jan 27, 2013
mallorca:


i dislike dat word those who follow English league,
we go beat una today,
wen we com una home last season we beat una silly,we dis we dat like say d club know say dem dey exist.
ehn go and die now!!!! Dat is the true yarnings of football, pls Go TO HELL wit ur complaints
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Johnnoah1st: 4:55pm On Jan 27, 2013
@op. It only here in naija senseless people like u dey post rubbish 4 nairaland
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by jadakiss213(m): 4:56pm On Jan 27, 2013
stupor: •Having a facebook page and Twitter handle that has been offered to you free and yet bars people from following you,as if you are the creator of the social media.

•you have never had a quiet home in your marriage but you are the head of Counselor in your church.

•you drive the whole town and city in expensive company car during the week but always fly bike to church on Sundays.

* verv very fake *
SOOO DRY!!!
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by kaorama: 4:57pm On Jan 27, 2013
Ehee, I said it yesterday that Sundays in nairaland is for making mockery of christianity. But God will pay every man according to his work. Who told you that those beleiving God for double portion only go to church fasting and praying? Do u even think praying and fasting is for lazy people?
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Johnnoah1st: 4:59pm On Jan 27, 2013
bbulldog: ehn go and die now!!!! Dat is the true yarnings of football, pls Go TO HELL wit ur complaints
yes he should go to hell or betterstill make he first go and hug transformer inorder 4 him to connect wit d first flight to hell ASAP.
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by LRNZH(m): 5:01pm On Jan 27, 2013
Only in Nigeria

1. Remember the stranded Virgin-Nigeria flight from Heathrow (Sept. 18, 2012) that needed contributions from passengers to purchase aviation fuel before the plane could fly back to Lagos? No comment.

2. Your professional background/affiliation means nothing except you can flaunt your wealth. If you like be graduate of "Space Engineering" dey live for Ogba, if you never hammer, Yahoologist wey get Range Rover dey live for VGC better pass you ten times!

3. We launch the latest cars and gadgets immediately they hit the International Market, yet we manufacture none!

4. With the heavy traffic in places like Lagos and rampant fuel scarcity, only people who have no vehicles of their own understand the logic of carpooling. That is to say na only pipo wey no get motor dey enter their neighbours motor go work. Some dey contribute fuel money join sef. Neighbours (wey live for the same area) dey work for the same office sef no gree share motor make them do drive this week make I drive next week.

5. People go to church for the sole purpose of updating their trending-fashion knowledge. After church- Hewo did you see Amaka's hair? My God that is the Saharan hair I was telling you about. Na money kill am...o. That her bobo dey into oil and gas na: the one wey dey drive G-class. Hmm I saw the guy with another chic for club on Tuesday sha. But en dey try for Amaka.

6. Abuja (criminal's civil servant's city) has more wealthy people than the rest of the country (including Port-Harcourt-Oil City ..dt 1 na city?) and competes with Lagos (a business cosmopolis-do we act like we are from the same nation?) favourably.

7. You need MSC/MBA/LLD/MA etc from a foreign school (Cyprus, Malaysia and beyond) to be considered fit to be employed for a proper job.

8. If your skin colour is Negroid, contracts, accesses and police protection will bypass you and go to anything with Lebanese, Pakistani, Indian, South African, Chinese (and beyond) looks.

9. Person wey get mechanic workshop or spare-parts business go leave en family for Naija go dey wash toilet for London etc in the name of I wan go abroad

10. Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Civil Engineer, Lawyer, go dey find Mechanic, Electrician, Master bricklayer/Plumber, Police to fix a car fault, TV fault, leaking pipe or interpret Nigerian penal code.

Only in Nigeria

4 Likes

Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by kaorama: 5:03pm On Jan 27, 2013
[quote
author=raycomray]Its in Nigeria, Warri to be precise that a girl having
a BB Bold5 died because of untreated Malaria and Typhoid disease. Her
parents could not raise the initial deposit of 10k required for the
hospital to start treatment. She died cry[/quote]
i no fit laughoo
 
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Orikinla(m): 5:08pm On Jan 27, 2013
Truckpusher: IT IS NOT ONLY IN NIGERIA THAT GIRLS PRO-STI-TUTE TO PUT FOOD ON THEIR TABLE shocked shocked shocked shocked
Which food on their table?
They are still living and eating from their poor parents in the ghettos.
They can't even contribute "Akamu Pap" and "Akara" money. And some go without pads during periods. grin.
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by 40Lightyears: 5:12pm On Jan 27, 2013
Sagging and permanent body tattoos, that make 'em look like crooks.
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Truckpusher(m): 5:18pm On Jan 27, 2013
Orikinla:
Which food on their table?
They are still living and eating from their poor parents in the ghettos.
They can't even contribute "Akamu Pap" and "Akara" money. And some go without pads during periods. grin.
To put food on their table doesn't necessarily mean just the food we eat,but essentials needed for human survival and comfort grin grin

1 Like

Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Aggrippa(m): 5:21pm On Jan 27, 2013
HAaaHAaa!!! WoW EvEryOne isGuilTy!!!
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by 7842I: 5:25pm On Jan 27, 2013
Truckpusher: To put food on their table doesn't necessarily mean just the food we eat,but essentials needed for human survival and comfort grin grin

@Truckpusher, I have a lot of rubbish to throw away from my house, I hope you will pack it for N50?
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by ngoziliz: 5:27pm On Jan 27, 2013
ifemiide:
when you already know the answer why are you still asking ?
I can see that you Are very competent to asking already answered questions.
This is so hillarious! thumbs up Ife grin
ifemiide:
when you already know the answer why are you still asking ?
I can see that you Are very competent to asking already answered questions.
This is so hillarious! thumbs up Ife
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Karevwite(m): 5:27pm On Jan 27, 2013
onli in 9ja u wil c a dark skinned lady wearing a blonde weavon...nw luks lyk a walking duracell battery

3 Likes

Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Truckpusher(m): 5:29pm On Jan 27, 2013
grin grin grin grin
Karev_wite: onli in 9ja u wil c a dark skinned lady wearing a blonde weavon...nw luks lyk a walking duracell battery
 
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Truckpusher(m): 5:35pm On Jan 27, 2013
7842I:

@Truckpusher, I have a lot of rubbish to throw away from my house, I hope you will pack it for N50?
nah...N50 is too small oga...pay something higher...oga abeg na
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by kutchs: 5:35pm On Jan 27, 2013
Why dont u guys stop making a fool of urselves here in the name of insulting Nigeria.
Sometimes I regret having some of u as fellow Nigerians.
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by zeroday: 5:41pm On Jan 27, 2013
grin grin grin grin grin

No b smal tin. No 5 toh badt gan

LRNZH: Only in Nigeria

1. Remember the stranded Virgin-Nigeria flight from Heathrow (Sept. 18, 2012) that needed contributions from passengers to purchase aviation fuel before the plane could fly back to Lagos? No comment.

2. Your professional background/affiliation means nothing except you can flaunt your wealth. If you like be graduate of "Space Engineering" dey live for Ogba, if you never hammer, Yahoologist wey get Range Rover dey live for VGC better pass you ten times!

3. We launch the latest cars and gadgets immediately they hit the International Market, yet we manufacture none!

4. With the heavy traffic in places like Lagos and rampant fuel scarcity, only people who have no vehicles of their own understand the logic of carpooling. That is to say na only pipo wey no get motor dey enter their neighbours motor go work. Some dey contribute fuel money join sef. Neighbours (wey live for the same area) dey work for the same office sef no gree share motor make them do drive this week make I drive next week.

5. People go to church for the sole purpose of updating their trending-fashion knowledge. After church- Hewo did you see Amaka's hair? My God that is the Saharan hair I was telling you about. Na money kill am...o. That her bobo dey into oil and gas na: the one wey dey drive G-class. Hmm I saw the guy with another chic for club on Tuesday sha. But en dey try for Amaka.

6. Abuja (criminal's civil servant's city) has more wealthy people than the rest of the country (including Port-Harcourt-Oil City ..dt 1 na city?) and competes with Lagos (a business cosmopolis-do we act like we are from the same nation?) favourably.

7. You need MSC/MBA/LLD/MA etc from a foreign school (Cyprus, Malaysia and beyond) to be considered fit to be employed for a proper job.

8. If your skin colour is Negroid, contracts, accesses and police protection will bypass you and go to anything with Lebanese, Pakistani, Indian, South African, Chinese (and beyond) looks.

9. Person wey get mechanic workshop or spare-parts business go leave en family for Naija go dey wash toilet for London etc in the name of I wan go abroad

10. Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Civil Engineer, Lawyer, go dey find Mechanic, Electrician, Master bricklayer/Plumber, Police to fix a car fault, TV fault, leaking pipe or interpret Nigerian penal code.

Only in Nigeria
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by jidewin(m): 5:44pm On Jan 27, 2013
Tolexander: lol!
Nigeria where you see a bike ridder almost being hit by a nissan armanda calling the driver olosi(wretched fellow) who is wretched between them?
A nation where a chelsea fan will say stoke city can't beat 'me' as if he is Abrahimovic.
A country where a couple will collectivety give birth to a child and the husband will say woman, come and carry your child as if he isn't the father.
A society where the husband will be recieving #100 per month with the woman recieving a wage of #1000 per day, and the woman still looking up to the man for the children's school fees, home management allowance and 'owo obe' Without the wife contributing any of her pay.
A community where the religious leader has 4 private jets and the members with no bicycle knowing not what to take for dinner would be told to make a #1000 contribution for the religious leader's birthday party and mum's funeral ceremony.
A club where a #5 stealer is a thief but a $1 billion mismanager is an hero.
A kingdom where a dog will not try to chase a squirel but try to chase the shadow of the flying hawk thinking it will catch the hawk (trying to be metaphorical here with our useless leaders that abandon meaninful/achievable projects to do unachievable ones)
A site where most things done don't affect the price of garri.
LOL ol boy u yab o...but na d truth sha...I have to quickly close lappy before my southy friends go begin read wetin you post.
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Creamchick2013: 5:48pm On Jan 27, 2013
It's only in Nigeria that we negotiate with terrorist.
It's d only country dat a governor will b away for 6months and his seat is still vacant awaiting his return.
The only country dat its leaders fly out for treatment of headache.
It's only in naija a girl is in d university and û ask her wen she has her matriculation and she tells u she doesn't study dat course
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by pendo89(f): 5:49pm On Jan 27, 2013
U take picture,e no fine,u come dey
claim say 'beauty is 4rm within' .... Why u no take
X-ray?

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin This is soo funny!!
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Defaramade(m): 5:52pm On Jan 27, 2013
It is only in nigeria u will see convicted ex-governor wey still dey receive salary(james ibori).
It is only in naija we go go international summit carry 180 pple go.
It is only in naija a state governor will have about 1000 special advisers(help me ask them wetin commissioner dey do o?).
It is only in naija high profile money laundering & embezzlement cases are swept under d carpet because d offender get connection with one very powerful politician.
It is only in naija ACN & PDP go dey blow big grammar abuse diaself instead of coming 2geda to solve our numerous problems.
It is only in nigeria PHCN go dey on generator.
It is only in naija person(especially girls) go get abt 3000 friends for facebook wey be sey na only abt 200 of dem d person know, anoda go get 5 facebook acct, 3 twitter acct & 10 2go accts.
It is only in naija a vulcanizer or battery charger go get 4 wives & 16 children.
It is only in naija d police are always ''on top of d situation'' even when d ''situation'' dey match on top of them, wia d phrase ''police is ur friend'' is an irony.
It is only in naija local govt chairman go dey pass street with abt 10 cars using siren to scare others off d road.
It is only in naija person go borrow cooperative money to do final burial ceremony of dia dead mama or papa wey den no take kia of when he/she dey alive.
It is only in naija provision of basic amenities & infrastructure lyk eletricity, good roads, schools & quality health is considered an ''achievement'' by our various govts & polithiefcians.
It is only in naija federal govt go use subsidy removal do new year gift for all nigerians.
It is only in naija we go turn very serious & grave situations to joke just to console ourselver, ah ah naija we just too much, we too get mouth, good people great nation.

3 Likes

Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by zeroday: 5:53pm On Jan 27, 2013
Guy u no go kill person o... whic 1 b Sahara hair again? Abi na d 1 9ja sojas go carry return frm mali?

LRNZH:
5. People go to church for the sole purpose of updating their trending-fashion knowledge. After church- Hewo did you see Amaka's hair? My God that is the Saharan hair I was telling you about. Na money kill am...o. That her bobo dey into oil and gas na: the one wey dey drive G-class. Hmm I saw the guy with another chic for club on Tuesday sha. But en dey try for Amaka.
Only in Nigeria
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Truckpusher(m): 5:54pm On Jan 27, 2013
kutchs: Why dont u guys stop making a fool of urselves here in the name of insulting Nigeria.
Sometimes I regret having some of u as fellow Nigerians.
it is only in Nigeria that you'll find people pretending to love Nigeria more than anyone else yet they only surface in topics like this to show their love for Nigeria...i prefer to call them fair weather citizens

1 Like

Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by try69(m): 5:57pm On Jan 27, 2013
Only in Nigeria that babes Blackberry usernames usually start with "CREAMY" or ends with "BERRY"..some even use both i.e "CREAMYBERRY".

1 Like

Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Adurangba(f): 6:01pm On Jan 27, 2013
Nigeria- the only country where people go to church to celebrate Chelsea win.

The only country where the citizens travels abroad and sees snow for the first time and begin to pose for pictures in the snow.

The only country where noone obeys traffic rules.

The only country where zebra crossings are taken for tom tom sweet advert.

The only country where traffic road signs are just mere diagrams because noone obeys them.

The only country where a local government councillor becomes a millionaire overnight.

The only country where educated people find it very hard to obey traffic rules.

The only country where nobody knows what a fast lane on the highway is.

The only country where it is a sin for the President to take pictures.

The only country where building a pedestrian bridge is an achievement by the leaders.

The only country where it is a sin not to be corrupt while in government.

The only country that has over 1m of her population in jails worldwide.

The only country where the citizens has no responsibility to nation building.

The only country whose citizens have no civic responsibility.

The only country where the citizens berates the government when they cant impregnate their wives.

The only country where men and women want to graduate from school by bribing lecturers.

The only country where people who are unemployed pay up to 5k dollars to get employment into government parastatals.

The only country where government agencies reserve slots for Senators and House of Rep members for employment.

The only country where accidents in the capital Abuja are based on too good roads.

The only country where the press accuses the president's wife of having ten sicknesses at the same time.

The only country where the press feeds the citizens lies and they take it hook line and sinker.

The only country where a politician crosses to the opposition not based on ideology but on chop make I chop

The only country where a lady has 6 top range mobile phones, including a blackberry porsche but doesnt have a job.

The only country where ladies pro.stitute and call it runs.

The only country where even failure is celebrated.

3 Likes

Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Truckpusher(m): 6:08pm On Jan 27, 2013
Adura_ngba: Nigeria- the only country where people go to church to celebrate Chelsea win.

The only country where the citizens travels abroad and sees snow for the first time and begin to pose for pictures in the snow.

The only country where noone obeys traffic rules.

The only country where zebra crossings are taken for tom tom sweet advert.

The only country where traffic road signs are just mere diagrams because noone obeys them.

The only country where a local government councillor becomes a millionaire overnight.

The only country where educated people find it very hard to obey traffic rules.

The only country where nobody knows what a fast lane on the highway is.

The only country where it is a sin for the President to take pictures.

The only country where building a pedestrian bridge is an achievement by the leaders.

The only country where it is a sin not to be corrupt while in government.

The only country that has over 1m of her population in jails worldwide.

The only country where the citizens has no responsibility to nation building.

The only country whose citizens have no civic responsibility.

The only country where the citizens berates the government when they cant impregnate their wives.

The only country where men and women want to graduate from school by bribing lecturers.

The only country where people who are unemployed pay up to 5k dollars to get employment into government parastatals.

The only country where government agencies reserve slots for Senators and House of Rep members for employment.
"The only country where the citizens travels abroad and sees snow for the first time and begin to pose for pictures in the snow" i think it's normal for people to do that because they don't often see it.....have you bothered why you have a lot of money being made from tourism?...anyway! nice one.
Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Lovine: 6:10pm On Jan 27, 2013
Its only in Nigeria someone will rent Nigerian movie part 1 & 2 everyday N200. But can't pay his landlord every month in the village.

Can you tell me which other nation in the world these things happen? Even German that built Benzes and BMW still ride bicycles today, go even to Japan you will see bicycles everywhere. Nigerians feel too big in everything even in churches and Mosques.

1 Like

Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Bryancrox(m): 6:17pm On Jan 27, 2013
..1..Na only 4 9ja u go see say poor people dey dress pass rich ..2.. Na only 4 9ja u see say pple go pay #500 4 cable bt go watch wetin pass wetin pple wen pay #3000 dey watch ..3..Na only 4 9ja u go c say dey de open church lyk phone boot(recharge card buzines) ..4.. Na only 4 9ja dey tk dey sell gun #5000 bullet #30 ..5.. Na only 4 9ja new born baby dey vote 4 election u cn imagine ..6.. Na only 4 9ja persn go go ghana pple 4 area go dey xpect millions ..7.. Na 9ja ni get d highest numba of church nd d highest numba of unemployed citizen ..8..Na only 4 9ja u go c persn dress lik lil wayne he pam or shoe bad 4 road he go beg u 4 #10 2 amend am ..9..Na only 9ja ni gal go dey carry traveling bag dey go class(uni) wetin dey inside ..10..Na only 9ja ni actors go dey act richmen bt u go enta bus u go c dat same actor dey drag change wit conductor..11..Na only 9ja u go c musician off mic dey sing 4 stage..12..Na only 9ja u go c persn dey drink 2crate of beer wen nr buy wit he money ..13..Na only 9ja u go c persn go dey stro he c party wen dey nr invite am he go enta..14..Na only 9ja u go c persn get 5 cars 4 rented apartment ..15..Na only 9ja u go c persn soak gari put tooth pick 4 mouth ..16..Na only 9ja gal go dress finish wen u pull ha skirt or trouser mke u weep u go c dirty pant(kpata)..17..Na only 9ja u go c one particular site wen dey talk bwt garri frm morning - evening...Am tired mehn...

1 Like

Re: Some Fake Lifestyles You Find In Nigeria by Orikinla(m): 6:21pm On Jan 27, 2013
Lovine: Its only in Nigeria someone will rent Nigerian movie part 1 & 2 everyday N200. But can't pay his landlord every month in the village.

Can you tell me which other nation in the world these things happen? Even German that built Benzes and BMW still ride bicycles today, go even to Japan you will see bicycles everywhere. Nigerians feel too big in everything even in churches and Mosques.

You deserve a gold medal for this comment.

HYPOCRISY IS THE MOST PRACTICED RELIGION IN NIGERIA AND SO HAS THE LARGEST FOLLOWERS EVEN ON NAIRALAND. grin

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