Its only here in Nigeria you'll see someone on foot referring to a person riding a bicycle as poor

Its only here in Nigeria you'll see someone who wont go to work but spend all his time in church fasting and praying, believing God for his double portion.

you see a guy in the passenger seat of a friends flashy car, that's when he greets everyone, even those he normally won't talk to just to attract attention.

Most guys don't carry umbrella, they refer to guys who do as 'jew' but when the rain starts they want to share the umbrella with the jew guy - same as raincoats

A girl claims she ate rice and chicken, then suddenly she throws up and we see long lumps of eba, ha! was there a mixup somewhere? Only here in Naija

'Remove this carton here!' what most people normally say when a particular car is causing holdup on the road. But what might interest you is that most of them don't even own a wheel barrow of their own

'come lets eat oh' someone is inviting you to eat with him but only brought the spoon he's using, you rather say thank you, if you bother to look for spoon....

Someone's office is just 4 blocks from his house, but he must drive his car there every day and battle with parking space, just so that his neighbors wont feel things are bad for him

Its only here in Nigeria you'll see a person buy a blackberry phone with his N50,000 salary and wont be able to load in N100 credit into the phone, not to talk of transport to work the next day

People borrow money and close the street to host party only to soak garri the next day [owambe]

These are just the few ones i can put up now, i know you have some

lol... funny

lol!
Nigeria where you see a bike ridder almost being hit by a nissan armanda calling the driver olosi(wretched fellow) who is wretched between them?
A nation where a chelsea fan will say stoke city can't beat 'me' as if he is Abrahimovic.
A country where a couple will collectivety give birth to a child and the husband will say woman, come and carry your child as if he isn't the father.
A society where the husband will be recieving #100 per month with the woman recieving a wage of #1000 per day, and the woman still looking up to the man for the children's school fees, home management allowance and 'owo obe' Without the wife contributing any of her pay.
A community where the religious leader has 4 private jets and the members with no bicycle knowing not what to take for dinner would be told to make a #1000 contribution for the religious leader's birthday party and mum's funeral ceremony.
A club where a #5 stealer is a thief but a $1 billion mismanager is an hero.
A kingdom where a dog will not try to chase a squirel but try to chase the shadow of the flying hawk thinking it will catch the hawk (trying to be metaphorical here with our useless leaders that abandon meaninful/achievable projects to do unachievable ones)
A site where most things done don't affect the price of garri.

¤Yawns¤


Just got back from church

A lot of those things aren't only in Naija. Get ur facts right

Who says eating rice and chicken makes u a big person. Its just another Tuesday, Thursday and sunday with a couple of star.

Bros, na poverty cause am.

Tolexander: lol!
Nigeria where you see a bike ridder almost being hit by a nissan armanda calling the driver olosi(wretched fellow) who is wretched between them?
A nation where a chelsea fan will say stoke city can't beat 'me' as if he is Abrahimovic.

i dislike dis word from those who follow English league,
we go beat una today,una no fit beat us for our home,
wen we com una home last season we beat una silly,we dis, we dat, like say d club know say dem dey exist.

@ op poverty is killing u

Its only in Nigeria someone will rent Nigerian movie part 1 & 2 everyday N200. But can't pay his landlord every month in the village.

we already knw how this got to d front page: incompetent mods
But the question is: why did this get to the front page?

u go to market,price a woman selling ugwu and she says go joor,u no get money u con dey block space.

A country where leaders(past or present) with money laundering records, contest for elections and the people actually re-elect them and expect a change

A place where someone is eating bread,and Akara,and wrote "Burger tins" on his status.

A place where person mama dey sell oil,and papa dey work for filling station,and u said they work in oil,and gas.

Where someone would go to Dubai,and come back with British accent like Daniel Amokachi.

Where some Ladies have turned hotel's rest room to photo studio.

Where someone said"I prefer London to UK during winter".

The only thing I like about g-string is the back pocket.

Where people do things to impress their neighbour,either its convenient for them or not.

It's a poor mentality.

Funny

Reservoir

it is only in Nigeria or may be some parts of Africa that people wear suits in the heat of the sun on Okada just because it is Sunday

Black men can be very stupid and gullible at times

Na only in naija all our parents carry 1st when them dey school

Na only in naija u see a bike man pass 1 way and still dey claim right for motorist

Na only in naija u see person escort e uncle go airport com back dey form american accent

Naa only in naija u see everybody b expert in analysing football match

Na only in naija u see a guy gadge well: marc jacobs shades ,H&C shirts,correct denim jeans, all stars footwear blackberry bold 5 and nokia dual sim phone but nah only #500 minimum balance dey e bank acc

KINGwax: we already knw how this got to d front page: incompetent mods
But the question is: why did this get to the front page?

when you already know the answer why are you still asking ?
I can see that you Are very competent to asking already answered questions.

•Having a facebook page and Twitter handle that has been offered to you free and yet bars people from following you,as if you are the creator of the social media.

•you have never had a quiet home in your marriage but you are the head of Counselor in your church.

•you drive the whole town and city in expensive company car during the week but always fly bike to church on Sundays.

* verv very fake *

berem: space reserved.brb

Only on Nairaland Nigeria,person go book space down cos she wan go think of wetin to post.. Haba,na by force to post..
Anyway sha.. space booked for later things.. Make me sef go think..

1. you bought suya on your way to your girlfriends house as a gift, she angrily threw it out of the window because she expected more from you. you forgot your key and went back to her house. surprised, you caught her drinking garri with the suya she threw away

2. an okada man using fleet of car for just a day wedding ceremony

3. Girls using marriage to brag among their friends, even though they are constantly abused by their husbands at home

4. A girl that traveled for a six month course in Dubai (non English speaking country), came back and starts speaking British English

5. Ade is a newspaper distributor in London, but if ask what his job, he would say he is a LOGISTIC OFFICER

Add more if I remember them

stupor: •Having a facebook page and Twitter handle that has been offered to you free and yet bars people from following you,as if you are the creator of the social media.

•you have never had a quiet home in your marriage but you are the head of Counselor in your church.

•you drive the whole in expensive company car durind the week but always fly bike to church on Sundays.

Na wa oh.. This your own dry sotey d sweat wey dey my fore-head vanish.. Oh boy,this your own na drier...
Only in Nigeria person no fit post im own,but go dey critisize anoda person own as dry.. Eg... Myself.. Na wa oh..

dahonestboss: you bought suya on your way to your girlfriends house as a gift, she angrily throwed it out of the window because she expected more from you. you forgot your key and went back to her house. surprised, you caught her drinking garri with the suya you threw away

Hahahahahahahahahahahaaha!!!!!!!! Laff wan keeeee meeeee wooooh... If na me ehn,d kain slap wey i go gve her ehn,she go vomit live chicken right there..

Kslib:
Na wa oh.. This your own dry sotey d sweat wey dey my fore-head vanish.. Oh boy,this your own na drier...
Only in Nigeria person no fit post im own,but go dey critisize anoda person own as dry.. Eg... Myself.. Na wa oh..

hehehehe u self don judge urself finish.. U will make a good critic

It is only in Nigeria that ex criminals (militants) would be treated better than law abiding graduates that roam the streets with worn out shoes looking for jobs that don’t exist.

It is only in Nigeria a sitting state governor can go missing for months with no cogent reason other than that he has gone on leave.

It is only in Nigeria a thief is celebrated with chieftaincy titles and front row seats at worship centres in fact it is a crime not to steal while in office the least you should do is belong to the “largest” party in Africa and amen you are untouchable and can only be caught and punished in the UK, oh Lord I love my dear country.

It is only in Nigeria the country always goes broke after an election.

It is only a true Nigerian that is ready to suffer to death so long as the person in charge of his suffering is his brother from a neighboring village what a patriotic citizen suffering and smiling no wonder we are rated one of the happiest people on earth.

tryna keep up with the Jonesses.
*bullshyte*

julimax: Its only here in Nigeria you'll see someone on foot referring to a person riding a bicycle as poor

Its only here in Nigeria you'll see someone who wont go to work but spend all his time in church fasting and praying, believing God for his double portion.
I
you see a guy in the ptassenger seat of a friends flashy car, that's when he greets everyone, even those he normally won't talk to just to attract attention.

Most guys don't carry umbrella, they refer to guys who do as 'jew' but when the rain starts they want to share the umbrella with the jew guy - same as raincoats

A girl claims she ate rice and chicken, then suddenly she throws up and we see long lumps of eba, ha! was there a mixup somewhere? Only here in Naija [font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][color=#990000][/color]
'Remove this carton here!' what most people normally say when a particular car is causing holdup on the road. But what might interest you is that most of them don't even own a wheel barrow of their own

'come lets eat oh' someone is inviting you to eat with him but only brought the spoon he's using, you rather say thank you, if you bother to look for spoon....

Someone's office is just 4 blocks from his house, but he must drive his car there every day and battle with parking space, just so that his neighbors wont feel things are bad for him

Its only here in Nigeria you'll see a person buy a blackberry phone with his N50,000 salary and wont be able to load in N100 credit into the phone, not to talk of transport to work the next day

People borrow money and close the street to host party only to soak garri the next day [owambe]

These are just the few once i can put up now, i know you have some

"throws up" Eeeeewwwwwwwww! What are you doing looking into someone's puke, checking out what they've eaten. Grosss!!!