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An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. - Literature (2) - Nairaland

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Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Nobody: 8:28pm On Feb 21, 2013
huni_naija:

Please accept my sincere apologies... My condolences *e-hug*

smileyapology accepted, holding my breath waiting for the make-up e-kiss kiss
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by gwas(m): 8:29pm On Feb 21, 2013
Na wa o! Nairalander, I hail o. Imagine this OP saying farting is entertaing!heheheehehe. Chinekee.
Op, if you dear try that in the mix of people in my house eh, you would get the beating of your life! Rubbish!
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by kemiola89: 8:36pm On Feb 21, 2013
Ewww! When is nairaland holding the fart competition? @Op bring it on, les gerrit started tonight.:p
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by vision2050: 8:43pm On Feb 21, 2013
fart* cure cancer
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by huni_naija(f): 8:44pm On Feb 21, 2013
chess guru:

smileyapology accepted, holding my breath waiting for the make-up e-kiss kiss

*pharts and proceeds to run* tongue
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by utumunta(m): 9:40pm On Feb 21, 2013
This is what nairaland has become-fart!-
**lets out a big one wt a bang! Chair shakes and boxers part like temple curtains**
"oooh...what a rush"
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Ogajuwonlo1(m): 9:48pm On Feb 21, 2013
slimyem: An almost instantly dissipating smell in an airy
environment. An air you cant brook...it usually
takes a moment to recognize the
devastatingly unpleasant wind...

They come from gas in mixture of foods
especially sulphur-rich foods like egg,
meat,milk cabbage,and apples.foods like egg
and meat are really bad for making stinky fart.cool

The sound is usually caused by vibrations of
the a-nal opening and also depends on the
tightness of the muscles of your anus.shockedcheesy
Okay...i know it can be
embarrassing,smelly,and a definite no-no
when you are having a sha-g but lets face it..it
can be hysterically funny and very
entertaining.grin

Immediately after the act, when a feeling of
paranoia washes over you,there are
strategies to employ-acting oblivious and
innocent,coughing obviously or suddenly
moving your chair so that people around you
would think they misheard the fart
na lie u dey lie if you talk say you never do any of these beforeundecided
or betterstill proclaim the fart as your own grand
accomplishment and issue a challenge to
others to outdo that one if they think they
can..

You can blast them out loudly and boast of
them proudly.

One truth-Everyone alive farts.Some even fart
shortly after death.kings,presidents,opera
singers, beauty queens,priests and nuns fart.
Its a big mistake to say that farting is not
ladylike and its not weird to enjoy fart.its
healthy.its also universal for people to enjoy
their own fart..

So keep farting-A fart is such a useful thing.It
brings on lots of ease.it warms the bed on
cold nights and suffocates the mosquitoes.smiley

have u tried eating agege bread and beans for four and see how captivating ur fart might be?just try it
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by God2man(m): 9:52pm On Feb 21, 2013
slimyem: An almost instantly dissipating smell in an airy
environment. An air you cant brook...it usually
takes a moment to recognize the
devastatingly unpleasant wind...

They come from gas in mixture of foods
especially sulphur-rich foods like egg,
meat,milk cabbage,and apples.foods like egg
and meat are really bad for making stinky fart.cool

The sound is usually caused by vibrations of
the a-nal opening and also depends on the
tightness of the muscles of your anus.shockedcheesy
Okay...i know it can be
embarrassing,smelly,and a definite no-no
when you are having a sha-g but lets face it..it
can be hysterically funny and very
entertaining.grin

Immediately after the act, when a feeling of
paranoia washes over you,there are
strategies to employ-acting oblivious and
innocent,coughing obviously or suddenly
moving your chair so that people around you
would think they misheard the fart
na lie u dey lie if you talk say you never do any of these beforeundecided
or betterstill proclaim the fart as your own grand
accomplishment and issue a challenge to
others to outdo that one if they think they
can..

You can blast them out loudly and boast of
them proudly.

One truth-Everyone alive farts.Some even fart
shortly after death.kings,presidents,opera
singers, beauty queens,priests and nuns fart.
Its a big mistake to say that farting is not
ladylike and its not weird to enjoy fart.its
healthy.its also universal for people to enjoy
their own fart..

So keep farting-A fart is such a useful thing.It
brings on lots of ease.it warms the bed on
cold nights and suffocates the mosquitoes.smiley

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by luizworld: 9:58pm On Feb 21, 2013
Nice one OP.* Farts on thread and runs away* grin
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Vivipop(f): 9:59pm On Feb 21, 2013
Funny thread... This just reminded me of one of my roomates then,for a complete year,i never saw her fart. When I asked her if she farts at all she said and I quote " it can be very embarassing when you fart so loud that people can't help but notice you so,to avoid that I lift one part of my Bottom up so the air comes out smooth and easy" I laughed so hard. She really taught me something because I really had a problem trying to make mine as silent as possible but I always ended up either releasing the poor thing aloud or suppressing it thereby causing my stomach to be bloated.Now,I get to answer the question,'do you fart at all?'
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Nobody: 10:04pm On Feb 21, 2013
Vivipop: Funny thread... This just reminded me of one of my roomates then,for a complete year,i never saw her fart. When I asked her if she farts at all she said and I quote " it can be very embarassing when you fart so loud that people can't help but notice you so,to avoid that I lift one part of my Bottom up so the air comes out smooth and easy" I laughed so hard. She really taught me something because I really had a problem trying to make mine as silent as possible but I always ended up either releasing the poor thing aloud or suppressing it thereby causing my stomach to be bloated.Now,I get to answer the question,'do you fart at all?'
your roommate's head dey dere...I learnt it from my dad grin grin grin grin
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by JOYCEOUS(f): 10:15pm On Feb 21, 2013
huni_naija:

Na your papa!! undecided

kikikikikikikiki! Chai
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by wonda26(m): 10:42pm On Feb 21, 2013
Mr.Uzo:
Let's take pools

Like if you think boys fart frequently than girl

Bros, wetin be diz gbagaun na?
Swimming pool ko liverpool ni.. angry
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Opoki(m): 12:08am On Feb 22, 2013
walex25: As I was reading this, one just came out unauthorized .
"My bad"
E smell reach this place self.
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Haryobame: 1:07am On Feb 22, 2013
Ademab: We have loud fart, medium fart and the silent fart... Dangerous.... (Silencer) I didn't do it, RAJU?
yap.............
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by methodman(m): 4:53am On Feb 22, 2013
Ademab: We have loud fart, medium fart and the silent fart... Dangerous.... (Silencer) I didn't do it, RAJU?
...Too much 3-Idiots. By d way...Are u an I.d.i.o.t? grin Na joke o
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by ademega(m): 6:00am On Feb 22, 2013
i rember when i released a dangerous smelling fart while leaving an
elevator nd ds two beautiful young ladies jumed inside.... am sure ,d smell must ve ruined theri day.nd they must to split silver each they recall dat smell. i bet u!
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Lakayana: 6:18am On Feb 22, 2013
It's so nice to read this and give a very loud one out. Feeling good with myself kai e be like sai ch*it dey catch me till come back bye.
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by sweetguy10(m): 7:58am On Feb 22, 2013
Made me remember back then when I did a loud fart and my brother wanted to revenge , he forced and forced the fart it won't come and by the time it came it was filled with watery poo .Hehehehe
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Le Ostrich: 9:04am On Feb 22, 2013
another rubbish post makes front page
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Abiola MM(m): 10:34am On Feb 22, 2013
On point.... I call it "silent weapon"
 
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Le Ostrich: 11:07am On Feb 22, 2013
un-following this stench!
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Sike(m): 11:10am On Feb 22, 2013
That's why my friends call me: A FI ISO JA'GUN cheesy

1 Like

Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by tomakint: 11:45am On Feb 22, 2013
I just like this babe (slimyem) I don't know why! wink
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by FXKing2012(m): 11:51am On Feb 22, 2013
Le Ostrich: another rubbish post makes front page
watch ya mouth
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Jalal(m): 11:55am On Feb 22, 2013
This stinks!
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by chuks418(m): 1:14pm On Feb 22, 2013
ooouch,,wat do ya tink causes d melt-down of d "OzOne layer" ;Dooouch,,wat do ya tink causes d melt-down of d "OzOne layer",,,but seriously i dnt fart,,,,,,,ooopz tink i just did it,,,,loz
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by naira-ner(m): 4:04pm On Feb 22, 2013
HAHAHAHAHA so funny. No wonder i never get mosquitoe bites each night
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by Tinyemeka(m): 7:15pm On Feb 24, 2013
One sentence: I am extremely repulsed and nauseated by the odious write-up.
Re: An Ode To The Unpredictable Fart. by slimyem: 9:32pm On Feb 24, 2013
^that's the idea!!wink

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