Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old - Family (8) - Nairaland
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Woman Carries Her Baby After 23-Years Of Marriage. See Photo / Mum Still Thinks I'm A Virgin / She Slaps Me Anytime We Fight —husband Tells Judge (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by Raymondif: 8:42pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
youngchopper: fx the way u carry dix gal mata 4 head ehhh!yes she must really be a teenager trying to ignore parent advice, and i guess when she do the right thing at the right time,i don't think her should have been slaping her.moreover you are still schooling and you are under their care. And if your mate are getting married at the age of 23 and you are being influence by their ways of life is very bad cos that is the life they chooses for themselves,and if you dont knw at 23 you are still a teenager in African setting. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by eldoradoxx: 8:43pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
wirinet:This is exactly my point. Any beating should be before the person turns 18. Once he or she is 18 and above any beating is tantamount to battery and assult and she/ he has evry right to depend herself from it no matter who is involved. The last time my uncle slapped me 200 level in university then, I broke bottle and he went into hidding. U can't be violating adults under the guise of parenting and ppl will ask u to endure it as an African . |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by Artistree: 8:49pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
Is it peculiar wit all 1sts? My mum beat me everyday till I was 27! I feel deeply hurt thinkn bak on all I went thru in ha hands in d name of discipline, God, it was demoralizing! Anyway, d last time she tried 2 whip me, I smply pikd a razor blade & politely told ha not2 evn fink of it,dt I'd mar her face, & believe me, dat was d straw dat broke d camel's bak. I mean @ 27!!! I left d house wen I got a gud job, com c respect! evry1 now knws am her daughter! Gosh, I never talk abt it wtout tears.. 1 Like |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by vicope: 8:49pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
Much has been said, its left for the OP to make a wise decision! In my opinion: 1. No one is above mistake; but the OP should have at least in the last 23 years have a clearer picture of what her mum dislikes. She should try to be of best behavior. 2. It is ABSOLUTELY wrong to hold back your mother's hand or try to fight back. Biblically and culturally, it is wrong. The best solution as suggested earlier by well-meaning NL is to have a decent and mature conversation with your mum! Make her understand how you truly feel, what you intend to do when next it happens and other meaningful discussion! Do not THREATEN her, but make her understand you're fed up. 3. Never for any reason, disrespect or be at loggerhead with your mum. I had a little disagreement with my Dad in 2010, I travelled briefly and didn't call him throughout my absence. Unfortunately, he died without showing any sign of illness and I never had th opportunity to make up with my dad. Please note, that before this argument I had with my dad, we never had any reason to disagree. He was such a gentleman! Till date, I find it hard to forgive myself for what happened. 4.I always have misunderstandings with my mum over very trivial issues.....so I decided to drawback a little! I got a job, made sure I was always busy, avoided long chats, stopped collecting unnecessary gifts and money from her (this is very difficult but there are some things you don't need- you should avoid receiving excess money), stood firm on every decision I took, I don't laugh unnecessarily at every joke made in the house (even though they we're funny) and so on. It really hurt my mum but I gained a great deal of respect. Even though we still have arguments, itz not as intense as it used to be, precise I walk out on heated arguments and come back later pretending like we never had one, thereby preventing any form of malice. 5. If you decide not to have a BF so you can concentrate on your education....good decision! But whoever tells you that you're too young to be dating @ 23 is crazy. What they should be talking abt is an healthy relationship devoid of s-e-x. 6.Patience is a great virtue.....remember that you will leave mum's house one day. Also, mum won't be around forever! Just believe that the number of years remaining for you to receive slaps is not up to one-third of the time in which you have received slaps. LOL 7.Your last sentence showed a little arrogance in you.....I hope you don't speak to mum in that manner? Maybe that's one of the reasons she slaps you often. Not justifying her actions though! 8.I believe you should also pray to God to make your mum a better woman and understand you better! And when she finally stops slapping you, please don't forget to share your testimony with NL.  Best of Luck |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by softangel(m): 8:50pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
 amlydave: If at 23 years you don't behave like all your other mates instead, you behave like a 2+3= 5 years old, then be prepared for many more slaps. My daughter is 19 years now and for the past 8 years, I haven't placed a finger on her neither has her mother. Bether behave well and you will be happy with your parents. Who is the mother between "u and the mother?  |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by Nobody: 8:52pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
Hahahah. Ur own was just slap. My mum will flog me, if the cain breaks completely,the beating will start. When she is satisfied, she will push me out and lock me out of d house for days with no food even at 20.she will instruct my siblings to make sure I get no food. I will sleep under d staircase for days and be bitten by mosquito. The worst is dt it was just me dt she treats like dt. At a time, I went to report her to her parents. When she was called, I don't know what she told them, dt they all turned against me. She came back and told me to go and report again. I got tired of sleeping in d staircase dt each time she did dt, I will look for a relation and visit and at the end, they will beg her to accept me back. How did it stop? Shortly b4 my Nysc, I can't remember exactly what happened. She beat me and I pushed her down. She came back wit more fury and I made sure I beat her back. She started shouting. All my siblings except my immediate younger joined her in beating me. After dt, respect came back. Currently, no one likes her. She noticed it and started apologising. She was actually frustrated and being d 1st, she let out her frustration on me. She was a young widow with 5 children struggling to survive. She had a high class she was b4, and was trying to cope wit d new status. At times they culd be owed months salary, and all dt made her more frustrated. I know sum won't believe this, but d beating starts at d slightest opportunity. I remember this particular one- I was switching on the bulb and d bulb could not come on. She said I've spoilt d bulb. She beat me and made me replace the bulb. I remember a guy dt used to be my nephew's friend gave me d money. On several occasions, it could be dt she gave me our feeding money for the week and while doing account for her, the money doesn't balance, maybe by N5. Growing up without my father was tough, but dt was when I made up my mind I would try my best to be independent in life. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by Oluwalala(m): 8:54pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
Even if you are 50, u wld always be your mothers child, so your age isn't an issue, am sure ur mum doesn't slap you for no reason, you give her reasons to slap you. My don't you start by being obedient and stop threatening her about the slaps and talk to her like a matured person |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by AVISENNA: 8:55pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
Well believe it or not ,it just the frustration of you dad not being around that causes her to vent her frustration . No 2 . The day you bring your boyfriend to that house , she is going to slap you on both sides of your face and take your boyfriend from you . If you think am joking just try it , like an experiment , cld be a coursemate or some dude , around the hood! Just promise to give US feedback. Way Fwd: spend wkdays with your dad and weekends with her , she'll start worshipping you , even tell her larger that life stories bout how nice your dad is to you . |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by eldoradoxx: 9:00pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
Facts are actually emerging here that many Nigerian young adults are or were at a point physically abused even at above 23yrs of age by their parents (mostly mum). Goshhhh. Its really saddening to observe this. Guess its d socio- economic condition of Nigeria that is to blame. At 18_19yrs about time a person should get into the university in decent climes,she/ he ought to be completely independent of dad or mum. If they refuse paying his fees in University, he has access to student loan to repay when he graduates and starts working. Here at 30 _35, someone is stil answering yes sir or yes mam to his or her parents at home, gets dictated what to eat, when to go out or come in, what to wear, where to worship, who should visit her/ her. Its really sad. 2 Likes |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by oliidell(m): 9:03pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
Interesting thread. I don't know u, & I'm one of those nairalanders that read more and comment less. I cant claim to know exactly how you feel, but I somehow feel ur pain cos growing up wz also very tough. In fairness to my parents, they didn't hit us unless we did sometin realy bad, but my dad wz verbally abusive. He seizes every opening to voice expletives. Week in, week out, year in, year out, he never stopped yelling. If he dosent get an opportunity to bawl at u, he creates one. Now we are grown and have all left the house, and although we knew he loved us then and still does, nobody is close to him becos he didn't establish a rapport while we were under his roof. So Stacie, like I said I feel ur pain. Now back to ur case, in my opinion; You are not too old to live with ur mom- ur are stil a student afterall. You will never be too old for ur mom to buy u stuff occassionally - u her only child (but don't let it be all the time)...and You are not too old to get slapped by ur mom. Yes, don't mistake me for an advocate of corporal punishment, I'm not. But if u do smtin realy realy bad, and ur mom responds wit a slap, methinks it's in order. Now, ur mom seizing every opportunity to hit you is very very bad, and slapping u cos a cup of coffee wz nt hot inuf is totally unacceptable. I read through many comments and advices here. Some were very sensible, some touching, some were funny and a few were plain st.up.id. For d most st.up.I'd and insensitive comment, 'Pastor Mmadu's' and dat of d dude who claims to have a 19yr old are contending. So u have to do a lot of sifting sport. Nairaland is a faceless forum filled wit people of varying backgrounds and IQs. I'm counting on u to do dat, cos from ur posts, u strike me as an intelligent person, and I think u r quite mature. Like some ppl have rightly posted, you shud first hav a heart to heart talk wit mom, then if it dosent work out, make good ur threat to move in wit ur dad. She'l surely come for u. U r all she has and I think she loves u. No mata what happens, never hit ur mom back. I wish u luck sport! 3 Likes |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by oyestephen(m): 9:03pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
eldoradoxx: the bible says do no despise ur youth. The pride of a young person should not be messed around with. So if u slap ur 23 year old son and he doesn't hit u back, examine him well, something is wrong somewhere.Bro, eph 6:1 says honour ur fada and ur moda dat it may be well with u. And its do not despise d days of ur yut. It didn't say, slap ur parents when dey do so |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by psucc(m): 9:07pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
FXKing2012:Then factorize d term 'Boyfriend by girlfriend' using d Nigeria formula |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by folahann(m): 9:10pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
@OP, just one thing; you need to be more independent, then she'll respect you. She wouldn't be doing that if you had a car and buy all your stuffs with your own money even if you live with her. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by showstopa: 9:12pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
your mum is a bully,simple and short. As a Christian, violence is out of it. i know her kind. heart to heart wont even work. follow up with action, give her space for a while. move to ur dads |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by vision2050: 9:15pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
Dont be mislead with all this ideas some are good some are bad..... Be patient, God will suprise you. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by vision2050: 9:18pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
Dont be mislead with all this ideas some are good some are bad.....moving to your dad is not the best you will face entire life/hell with your step-mother........... Be patient, God will suprise you. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by Kunlegzy(m): 9:22pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU WANT FROM US, IS IT TO TELL YOU TO SLAP UR MUM IN RETURN, GUSH! WHAT IS THIS FORUM TURNING INTO, YOUR MUM SLAPPED YOU AND SO, GO AND ASSASINATE HER OK? RUBBISH. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by Sirmikky1(m): 9:29pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
If @ 23,ur mom slaps u lyk a cloth weaver....I think u shld cheq ursef en change some behaviours which often upset her. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by sharpboyus(m): 9:29pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
staicey: I no longer find this funny whenever it happens. Nonsense... your case is small  My father used tot beat me with cane when I was your age. your mom slapping you at ur age shows that she loves u and want you to learn sharp sharp. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by Nobody: 9:32pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
staicey: I no longer find this funny whenever it happens. i shall hold my comment on this!!  smh. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by psucc(m): 9:33pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
I beg to differ wt all these saintly? advise. But i want you to take a critical assessment of the situations that push your mum to slap you. I think if you do, you wll be able to avoid those scenario. Honest even at my 30s my mum sometimes raise her hands but only keep it down on noticing my age and stature. This not bc she enjoys doing it bt that something triggered that action. Learn to also keep your distance anytime she seem to talk with a high tone. But never raise your hands against her, or else you offend not only her but also God. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by softangel(m): 9:37pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
EMMAUGOH: ,no hear her oo ,this one na cursed person oooo,Better collect the slap be angry and endure it than slapping back ooooo. Correct |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by onyfrank: 9:38pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
@staicey, i need 2 hear 4rm ur mum b4 i exonerates u. Bt 2b frank, kuming online to say this and tinkin of sueing ur mum hav shown me the type of gal u are. I tink i hav sum1 hu behaves lyk u. She is 22, and she tinks she is matured, refuting her mother at evry slightest complain her mother noticed in her. Thereby telln her mother dat she's nw grown and matured, bt trust her mum, she dnt tek shit bkus she never talks or reply her mother the way her daughter is doing this days. I wil advice u to stop replyn ur mum any tym she scolds u or complains abt ur misdemeanor. Stop runing ur mouth to her thinkn u hav grown. Let me tel u, if u hav an elder brother, he wil b d one givn u d slaps, thereby saving mum's energy. 2 Likes |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by Sirmikky1(m): 9:39pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
oliidell: Interesting thread.The validity character of your posts have expired...Pls comment on any thread in 3months time...Thank you. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by Pque(m): 9:40pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
TUMIC: BECAUSE SHE IS STILL A MUMU AT 23 certainly d reason why I don't post. I get easily angry by d post of some pple and since I never reply back in annoyance, I easily ignore d thread until my anger is down. Certainly silence is d best answer 4 some fools. Just ignore them like they never said anything! |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by DonnaJocasta(f): 9:40pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
staicey: |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by ihedioramma: 9:42pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
@WINNEGIRL&OP, THERE IS NO MATURITY WERE YOUR MUM OR DADDY IS. TELL ME IF SHE HAS PROBLEM ABOUT HER TIME WHO DO U THINK SHE WILL TELL ? AT 23 SHE IS A SML CHILD. SO I DONT SE SLARP AS ANY BAD TIN, IS TO TEACH U THE GOOD WAY. @OP TRY AS U CAN 4UR MUM&DADDY TO BE 1. IT WILL GIVE U MORE JOY TELL UR MUM OR DADDYTO ASK 4FORGIVNESS, TEACH THEM THAT IS 1MAN 1WIFE AND THEY ARE LIVING IN SIN IF THEY DONT BECOME 1,. |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by Pque(m): 9:48pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
TUMIC: BECAUSE SHE IS STILL A MUMU AT 23 certainly d reason why I don't post. I get easily angry by d post of some pple and since I never reply back in annoyance, I easily ignore d thread until my anger is down. Certainly silence is d best answer 4 some fools. Just ignore them like they never said anything! |
| Re: Mum Still Slaps Me At 23 Years Old by chrisdoller(m): 9:54pm On Feb 25, 2013 |
[quote author=staicey] just sit her down and talk to her about that |
but this case of slappings, i dont like. I've told her several times and after moments of apologies tendered from her, she's doing it the next minute (1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) ... (13) (Reply)
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