y me: If she can't cook, get a cook

you are kidding me right

Greatgod please where are your statistics to show that wives that can't cook are the leading cause of divorces.
From even the court cases reported on Nairaland, Infidelity, Finance and abuse seem to be the top reasons am yet to read one case which is about cooking skills or lack of it.
Don't throw figures around except you can substantiate it.
That you like cooking doesn't mean every woman does and must.

What works for you may not work for others, a man who cheats will cheat because he wants to, nothing "pushes" him out than his greed and lack of restraint. Same with a woman who cheats.
I am not against women cooking but please this "if you don't do this your husband will be snatched picth" is over flogged.
The women whose husbands cheat did they tell you they don't cook? They are cooking 3 course meals, pepper soup and all sorts even with personal funds just to "please" their husbands so please if a man decides to cheat it has nothing to do with cooking skills, real men find a way to work around short comings not look for the easiest excuse to cook.

Poster, marriage is beyond your stomach, find a woman who loves you for who you are, who you can love selflessly, who will compliment and help you grow.
A wife is beyond a cook, so remove the mypoic veiw that all a wife is good for is food

Na waH! Wives don suffer

OP,To each on his own. I think everyone that loves good food should endeavour to learn how to do it or shut his/her mouth and eat whatever that is given to him/her. Husband o, wife o!

itz neva too late to learn.

abi wat do u do 2 sum1 who boils egg for 1hr. .

Moyola: itz neva too late to learn.

abi wat do u do 2 sum1 who boils egg for 1hr. .

na stone ni?

I think that the reason some men dash into restaurants to eat before heading home and justify it with "it's same old, same old thing she cooks" is the lack of variation, spicing meals up and the monotony of eating the same group of meal each time.

Wives should sometimes research on some nice stuffs to spice up the life of her family with. Great unbelievable and wonderful recipes abounds in such sites as Kraftffood, Rachel Ray, foodnetwork etc. Husbands should sometimes have his family dine out and experience different dishes just for the fun and spice of it. Husbands can equally research, share and play up with recipes with their wives. It's sweet when a man can cook a little something even if it is indomie and just treat his wife to a little evening rest and life goes on beautifully and not monotonously.

debrief08: Greatgod please where are your statistics to show that wives that can't cook are the leading cause of divorces.
From even the court cases reported on Nairaland, Infidelity, Finance and abuse seem to be the top reasons am yet to read one case which is about cooking skills or lack of it.
Don't throw figures around except you can substantiate it.
That you like cooking doesn't mean every woman does and must.

What works for you may not work for others, a man who cheats will cheat because he wants to, nothing "pushes" him out than his greed and lack of restraint. Same with a woman who cheats.
I am not against women cooking but please this "if you don't do this your husband will be snatched picth" is over flogged.
The women whose husbands cheat did they tell you they don't cook? They are cooking 3 course meals, pepper soup and all sorts even with personal funds just to "please" their husbands so please if a man decides to cheat it has nothing to do with cooking skills, real men find a way to work around short comings not look for the easiest excuse to cook.

Poster, marriage is beyond your stomach, find a woman who loves you for who you are, who you can love selflessly, who will compliment and help you grow.
A wife is beyond a cook, so remove the mypoic veiw that all a wife is good for is food

some things are getting clearer,
pls, debrief, maybe you will have to go thru my first post on this thread, because, i never said not cooking is on d top causes of divorces, and i dont even know why you have to condemn my comment b4 you can prove yours, you have your opinions, i have mine, but from observations, i discover that you are good at condemning other pple's comments to make your own comments more acceptable, you dont need that, i dont think i have ever done that to anyone here, everyone is entitled to his/her opinions, no one has right to condemn another poster's opinions. Its a faceless forum, you know.
Moreso, i observe that you seem to have issues/clash of opinions with some handles here, well, if my handle is one of them, then,i will rather leave NL (family section) for you than having e-clash with your handle........life is too short for all that.
Im out!

Haba Greatgod, this is the first time I will disagree with you that I can remember na.
My sister, we agree most times and when we differ it shouldn't be an issue like this.
Why would you think I have an issue with you or anyone? For over a year me and you have written alomst identical posts and the one day I disagree with you alll these come out?
No nah, we can't agree all the time, even teeth and mouth different, I may have been too strong but all I said was No food doesn't cause divorce and wrote the major causes,
I also wrote that most men who cheat actually have wives who cook. We do this all the time now, people even people I agree with teaar my posts apart sometimes its not personal my sister.
No vex ko! Leave me and go where na? How na babe, you no dey go anywhere jor, we go dey here old together, celebrate more milestones and even grand children.
But be prepared jor, we will disagree some more, feel free to pick out anything you don't agree with in my posts.
We cannot quarrel. Besides you don forget say I be lawyer? If you see Lawyers for court you will imagine that they are sworn enemies but after court na tea or wine we go gather drink.
Also the only person I have never differed with yet is Sisikill and that from what you said means I have problem with everyone here be that which is not the case at all.
So no vex ko
Disagreeing with any other person doesn't mean I haave problems with their handles, at least Madam CC willl bare witness, I disagree with her comments sometimes more than anyones but we know how far.

So coolu temper, you no dey go anywhere, na here we go dey tay tay.

Marriage is now something else all in the name of civilization! ( ko buru) I don't even know what to say anymore to avoid clashing with @Debrief especially again before she accuse me again for calling her hubby names ( not that I care anyways , I say things how my spirit works)

Cooking SHOULD be a woman's pride, there's nothing degrading about it, A woman MUST know how to cook period! ....

You see, these threads on Family section are like a tutorial for some fiancées and newlyweds out there so please let's be a good example.

@Bukatyne has been struggling ( seem to me ) to accept fact that a man is her Head and there's absolutely nothing she can do about it.
All her thread reeks worrisome and denial.

Shît happens we get it, no marriage is rosy , spice it up like @Ivy explained earlier. I really wish she's my real sister cos I'm guessing you're Yoruba.( you know if you throw me any insult I'd throw it back to you in thousand folds )


@greatgod no vex abeg, we need you here , Debrief is possibly an attorney so she's very blunt and sometimes come across condemning IMO ( I'm sure she'd reply your post better)

***sighs*** ( I'm going to bed jare....I wonder what I'll be doing when my hubby is cooking bean soup ,assorted soup, draw soup and amala that we ate tonight after ploughing heap of snow driving over 50lbs snowblower, orisirisi )

Interesting discourse so far

I agree variety is important in the kitchen but our women don't have time like our mothers and have to make do with quick meals.

That is why soups are frozen this days as thw woman can only cook once a month for the whole month
Which time do ladies have to do traditional delicacies like cocoyam pottage and all.

I respect calabar ladies for this. They are not too modern to cook for their man
I can never forget ekpankwoko
Yummy


Pls ladies, your input are appreciated on this board. kiss and make up o

Sadly it is a result of the inevitable march of progress.

I was alone for a month and had to cook for myself and I really saw the effort required to whip up a meal.

Ordinary stir fry there
Chop and dice hot dog,green pepper,etc
boil prawn
Use rice cooker etc
Bbq fish in oven for protein

It took me 3 hours from start to finish
I now appreciated the efforts women put through just to get a meal on the table
Its not easy

What I can say is that some women are particular taught culturally and versed in the art of cooking for their men

To me o,cooking is a skill that can be learned.And yeah i take pride in cooking healthy nutritious meals not just for my husband but for my family which if i may add includes ME.If i cook from scratch at least i know whats going into my food and right now (used to be size-----now size -----+ )am very particular about what goes into my food.Not that am a health nut but i have to be cos unfortunately i have a propensity to add weight and have genetics biased to some kind yeye diseases.

Back to topic of course anyone can cook BUT as people have said the natural maternal mothering role makes cooking more suited to women.I see cooking and feeding my family as nurturing them.I should be ashamed to say this but i will when i got married i could not make amala,pounded yam semo etc for more than two people.My husband was brought up in Ibadan and his mum as i heard was a discplinarian and so they ALL know how to cook.So naturally he is better than me at all those swallows cos me am.omo eko our swallows end at eba .If we want amala we go to Shitta .My husband taught me how to make all this stuff.Till date he even still prefers making them as long as i have made orisirisi soup in the freezer.But i learnt.I can now cook so many diverse foods but that my mum thinks my sister needs to come to me for training.And i mean not just Nigerian or Yoruba meals.There are channels on youtube to learn how to cook anything.So there is no excuse.If its time,schedule and freeze.I know people with full time jobs with a business 4 kids under 10 and still cook.(if i may add with no domestic help)

IMO in this age some women just WONT cook cos there is no excuse for CANT cos you can learn.Heck i learnt how to make puff puff on youtube.

dmcdad:
na stone ni?

iknw 4 her?!

nowadays men have to understand that there would be lots of differences between their wives and mothers.

http://www.elijahforce..com/2013/02/the-common-differences-between-wives.html

I enjoy cooking for my family. It gives me joy n happiness when they eat everything up and are appreciative of it. I look forward to cooking for my hubby. I think since men like food a lot its something intimate u can do to make him happy. But in all fairness to modern women, the responsibilities are too much. Like Chaircover said when a woman is working at a job that takes all her time its difiicult to still have time to do major cooking. And the modern woman has to work cos most times the man is not earning enough money to take care of the family so she has to supplement.

debrief08: Haba Greatgod, this is the first time I will disagree with you that I can remember na.
My sister, we agree most times and when we differ it shouldn't be an issue like this.
Why would you think I have an issue with you or anyone? For over a year me and you have written alomst identical posts and the one day I disagree with you alll these come out?
No nah, we can't agree all the time, even teeth and mouth different, I may have been too strong but all I said was No food doesn't cause divorce and wrote the major causes,
I also wrote that most men who cheat actually have wives who cook. We do this all the time now, people even people I agree with teaar my posts apart sometimes its not personal my sister.
No vex ko! Leave me and go where na? How na babe, you no dey go anywhere jor, we go dey here old together, celebrate more milestones and even grand children.
But be prepared jor, we will disagree some more, feel free to pick out anything you don't agree with in my posts.
We cannot quarrel. Besides you don forget say I be lawyer? If you see Lawyers for court you will imagine that they are sworn enemies but after court na tea or wine we go gather drink.
Also the only person I have never differed with yet is Sisikill and that from what you said means I have problem with everyone here be that which is not the case at all.
So no vex ko
Disagreeing with any other person doesn't mean I haave problems with their handles, at least Madam CC willl bare witness, I disagree with her comments sometimes more than anyones but we know how far.

So coolu temper, you no dey go anywhere, na here we go dey tay tay.

Kirinwa:

Interesting and quite revealing.
Gradually women are blackmailing,coercing and manipulating men into switching roles.

My brother ehn. They are doing it aggressively too. The ideology is: 'If you truly love me, you will let me have my way all the time'.

dmcdad:
Thats a very wrong ideology... The fact that I am not one of those men that would wanna subject a woman to slavery and all and would love to assist in every way I can, that doesn't take away the fact that the kitchen is the woman's place and nothing, I mean NOTHING can change that...

This is rather one of the problems the so-called modernization has brought to the fore. Women no longer wanna take responsibilities. Left for someone like you, I guess you would also wanna subject a man to feeding the child, washing its diapers and all that... Now, its not like its unheard for a man to do such, but the issue here is that, don't ever assume such to be a man's duty.

Gosh! Moral decadence has taken over that women no longer see the need to fulfill their pre-defined obligations. What happens to being homely and all?

Na God go really help the men of this generation cause with the majority of women having a wrong perception of what duties they are entitled to, we men are on a long thing..

Tell me about it.

jidegirl12: Marriage is now something else all in the name of civilization! ( ko buru) I don't even know what to say anymore to avoid clashing with @Debrief especially again before she accuse me again for calling her hubby names ( not that I care anyways , I say things how my spirit works)

Cooking SHOULD be a woman's pride, there's nothing degrading about it, A woman MUST know how to cook period! ....

You see, these threads on Family section are like a tutorial for some fiancées and newlyweds out there so please let's be a good example.

@Bukatyne has been struggling ( seem to me ) to accept fact that a man is her Head and there's absolutely nothing she can do about it.
All her thread reeks worrisome and denial.

Shît happens we get it, no marriage is rosy , spice it up like @Ivy explained earlier. I really wish she's my real sister cos I'm guessing you're Yoruba.( you know if you throw me any insult I'd throw it back to you in thousand folds )


@greatgod no vex abeg, we need you here , Debrief is possibly an attorney so she's very blunt and sometimes come across condemning IMO ( I'm sure she'd reply your post better)

***sighs*** ( I'm going to bed jare....I wonder what I'll be doing when my hubby is cooking bean soup ,assorted soup, draw soup and amala that we ate tonight after ploughing heap of snow driving over 50lbs snowblower, orisirisi )

My God! #Classic

@topic. There are certain factors involved mainly:

1. How and why did she end-up not knowing how to cook?

2. What is her attitude about her inability to cook?

3. Is she respectful when I bring up the issue or arrogant?

4. Is she willing to learn?

I am an above average cook and do enjoy preparing my own food but it will take something exceptional for me to say that I want to marry a woman that cannot cook. Her love and humility would have to be great indeed.

You are all seriously deluded. This is the type of mind set that prevents me or my sisters from wanting to go back to Nigeria.The women do most of the work and have the most stresses in the marriage. The men expect you to work your asses off to make ends meet, then enslave ourselves in The kitchen and housework. Get off your high horses that women are meant to be in the kitchen and taking care of the children that you are also responsible.Cases show that woman are typically smarter than guys. Its a fact. This is one of the reasons why I love America where traditional values don't apply and people are subject to change. Over there, still fighting over tribal relations.Yes, maybe I will remain single but i'm perfectly content with that. I'll rather support myself and my parents any day. So glad i'm not attracted to African/Nigerian guys.

What's with the rant?

Good for you....


Dont forget we have other males in other races in this world

Toodle-ooo

shadowhunter15: You are all seriously deluded. This is the type of mind set that prevents me or my sisters from wanting to go back to Nigeria.The women do most of the work and have the most stresses in the marriage. The men expect you to work your asses off to make ends meet, then enslave ourselves in The kitchen and housework. Get off your high horses that women are meant to be in the kitchen and taking care of the children that you are also responsible.Cases show that woman are typically smarter than guys. Its a fact. This is one of the reasons why I love America where traditional values don't apply and people are subject to change. Over there, still fighting over tribal relations.Yes, maybe I will remain single but i'm perfectly content with that. I'll rather support myself and my parents any day. So glad i'm not attracted to African/Nigerian guys.

I'm a terrible cook...yes, I am...don't criticize me yet.....ii reaalissed it was bad a little too late...right now I'm trying my best to adjust but I know when ever I get married I'll never be the wife that pounds yam or fries akara or roaasts ffish.....don't critisize women that don't know to cook because you don't know their background...dont even critisize their mothers because you don't know them...Some people just don't have the same opportunity..

We all know about the changing times, and in a way, I believe for some of us men, or even most, our mothers have done quite a good job of ensuring that we can cook well, along with that also came the training that we are not to leave the home chores to our sisters ( and expectedly, wife, in the future. My problem with a Lady that was not taught how to cook a decent meal is that, she probably missed out on other basic home trainings too, there is no way you can be raised to clean the house daily and not be taught out to keep things tidy in the kitchen and other kitchen related crafts like cooking, there is no way your parents can have the time to teach you to respect elders, treat your visitors well and take care of younger ones without teaching you a bit about how to prepare meals. Most of the home training for a girl-child will take place in the kitchen, while she is observing mum cooking or in the mum's room if she happens to have one to herself. My reasonable conclusion is that a girl that never got to learn how to cook probably missed out on the other related aspects
of home training. May be we can teach her how to cook what about other implicit deficiencies?

We all know about the changing times, and in a way, I believe for some of us men, or even most, our mothers have done quite a good job of ensuring that we can cook well, along with that also came the training that we are not to leave the home chores to our sisters ( and expectedly, wife, in the future. My problem with a Lady that was not taught how to cook a decent meal is that, she probably missed out on other basic home trainings too, there is no way you can be raised to clean the house daily and not be taught out to keep things tidy in the kitchen and other kitchen related crafts like cooking, there is no way your parents can have the time to teach you to respect elders, treat your visitors well and take care of younger ones without teaching you a bit about how to prepare meals. Most of the home training for a girl-child will take place in the kitchen, while she is observing mum cooking or in the mum's room if she happens to have one to herself. My reasonable conclusion is that a girl that never got to learn how to cook probably missed out on the other related aspects
of home training. May be we can teach her how to cook what about other implicit deficiencies?

What is it with Nigerian men and food? If you are a good cook-make nice healthy meals for your family and teach your wife if she is interested in learning. If neither of you can cook- get a chef. if labour is expensive wherever you are-eat out. Chikena!


Cooking delicious meals does not a marriage make.

RealCuttie: I'm a terrible cook...yes, I am...don't criticize me yet.....ii reaalissed it was bad a little too late...right now I'm trying my best to adjust but I know when ever I get married I'll never be the wife that pounds yam or fries akara or roaasts ffish.....don't critisize women that don't know to cook because you don't know their background...dont even critisize their mothers because you don't know them...Some people just don't have the same opportunity..

If u lv to learn how to cook,u can be a wonderful cook.
Its not just for ur hubby but ur children.
Children need a well balanced food for growing up and it really gives inner joy seein them ea ur food.
My cous is a terible cook too. We told her when growin up but she didn't bother to learn.
Later married her long time beau. They were havin serious problems but I gat to know that cooking was part of it.The hubby is a very busy and wealthy man who provided her with everything money can buy but he eats outside.Truly her cooking is terrible.We used to crack a common joke about that.
My family has to bundle her to caterin school for her own good. The rest is now history.
It helps to solidifys marriage in its own way if u get what I mean.

It's never too late to learn