The coming to America quote was funny as hell.

Daniel: Could you make me a woman?
Frank: Honey, I'm so happy.



MRS. DOUBTFIRE

[after Daniel has lost his mask]
Mrs. Sellner, The Social Worker: Do you need a hand?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, no dear, I don't need a hand.
Daniel: [back to Daniel] I need a face.


MRS. DOUBTFIRE

after seeing "Mrs. Doubtfire" peeing while standing up]
Chris: Lydia! We gotta call the cops! We gotta dial 911 now!
Lydie: Why?
Chris: [stammering] Mrs. Doubtfire! He's a she! She's a he! He's a she-she.
Lydie: What?
Chris: He's half-man, half-woman.
Lydie: [screams] What?



MRS. DOUBTFIRE

[In burning building]
Cat Lady: I'm not leaving without my cats.
Longfellow Deeds: How many cats do you have?
Cat Lady: Seven.
Longfellow Deeds: Holy shit. Lets get cracking.



MR. DEEDS

Babe: And this is my brother Denny's room,
[opens a closet door]
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson": they didn't like my brother very much.




MR. DEEDS

Crazy Eyes: [Driving his new car] These things are damn fast!
[Floors it and rams into a tree]
Crazy Eyes: I'm alright!



MR. DEEDS

The Devil: You're so nervous, Elliot.
Elliot Richards: How do you know my name?
The Devil: I'm psychic. Plus it's on your name tag.



BEDAZZLED

Mia: This ain't Burger King! You can't always have it your way!



LOVE DONT CO$T A THING

Walter Colley: It smell like burnt Paris Morgan now.
Kenneth Warman: Yeah that's how hot she is!






Paris Morgan: Look, Al, I think you're starting to feel yourself a little to much.
Alvin Johnson: [panicky] I do not do that! Who told you that, Walter? My mother said you'll go blind!
Paris Morgan: Look, whatever!





LOVE DON'T CO$T A THING

Michael Ellis: Katrina is the shit. She just did Ginuwine's new video.
Missy Elliott: I don't care if she just showed Michael Jackson how to Harlem shake. I said I want Honey. Honey Daniels. Duh.


HONEY

Missy Elliott: [to limo driver] You big dummy! How the hell you don't know how to get to the BQE? Let me tell you something: If you make me miss my hook-up with miss Honey Daniels, I'm gonna barbeque your Big-Bird-looking, Men-In-Black-wannabe, driving Miss Daisy ass!




HONEY

kellogs u sure do watch alot of movies  

Barber: [watching Honey leave Chaz's Barber Shop, where Chaz has just unsuccessfully asked Honey out on a date] Let us pray. Heavenly Father, please bless Chaz with game IMMEDIATELY.




HONEY

yeah mate!

[climbing down the rope]
Marv: Harry, are you wearing aftershave?
Harry: That's not aftershave, Marv. That's kerosene. The rope is soaked in it.
Marv: Now why would anyone wanna soak a rope in kerosene?
[Kevin lights a match]
Kevin McCallister: Merry Christmas.
Harry: Go up.


HOME ALONE 2

Kevin McCallister: This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone.


HOME ALONE

[the check-out woman holds up a bag full of army men, and gives Kevin a funny look]
Kevin McCallister: For the kids.


HOME ALONE 1

Kate McCallister: Kevin, get upstairs right now.
Kevin McCallister: Why?
Jeff McCallister: Kevin, you're such a disease.
Kevin McCallister: Shut up.
Peter McCallister: Kevin, upstairs.
Kate McCallister: Say good night, Kevin.
Kevin McCallister: "Good night, Kevin."



HOME ALONE 1

Kevin McCallister: I made my family disappear.
[thinks back to family members saying bad things about him]



HOME ALONE 1

Big Ben Healy: [seeing Junior for the first time] Oh, my God! It's the devil!


PROBLEM CHILD 1

Ben Healy: Junior, you remember Ms. Klaukinski.
Junior: How could I forget? Her pie gave us the runs.




PROBLEM CHILD 2

[after Junior shows the town a video of his babysitter and her boyfriend having sex]
Ben Healey: Junior, we're new here! Can't we at least attempt to fit in?
Junior Healey: What are you getting onto me for? I didn't do anything. I just watched it.
Ben Healey: Yes, and so did the entire neighborhood.
Junior Healey: I didn't hear any complaints.



PROBLEM CHILD 2

Ben Healey: Junior, 3rd grade is the foundation of a great education. If you don't go, you'll only hurt yourself.
Junior Healy: I'm sure I'll take a few others down with me.


PROBLEM CHILD 2

Carter: That's why I don't have no partner, that's one thing I learned from my daddy.
Lee: Your father was a policeman?
Carter: Fifteen years LAPD.
Lee: My daddy also a policeman.
Carter: Your daddy was a cop?
Lee: Not a cop, an officer, a legend all over Hong Kong.
Carter: My daddy a legend too all over America. My daddy once arrested fifteen people in one night by himself.
Lee: My daddy arrested 25 by himself.
Carter: , My daddy once saved five crackheads from a burnin' building, by himself.
Lee: My daddy once caught a bullet with his bare hand.
Carter: My daddy'll kick your daddy's ass all the way from here to China, Japan, wherever the hell you from and all up that Great Wall too.
Lee: Hey, don't talk about my father.
Carter: Don't talk about my daddy.


RUSH HOUR 1

[meeting Lee at the airport]
Carter: Please tell me you speak English. I'm Detective Carter. Do you speaka any English? DO-YOU-UNDERSTAND-THE-WORDS-THAT-ARE-COMING-OUT-OF-MY-MOUTH?


RUSH HOUR 1

Lee: Why would they not want my help?
Carter: Because they don't give a damn about you! They don't like you! I don't like you!
Lee: I don't care! I'm here for the girl!
Carter: The girl don't like you! Nobody likes you!



RUSH HOUR 1

Princess Pei Pei: Father, is this my husband-to-be? He's a toad. If the Emperor is so fond of him, why doesn't he marry him?



SHANGHAI NOON

Chon Wang: See! I told you so!
Roy O'Bannon: No, you said "wet shirt don't break," not "piss shirt bend bar"!



SHANGHAI NOON

Roy O'Bannon: Ooooh,  who's the pretty lady?
Chon Wang: That's my wife!
Roy O'Bannon: How long you been in this country?
Chon Wang: Four days.
Roy O'Bannon: Nice work.



SHANGHAI NOON

Chon Wang: This is the West, not the East. The sun may rise where we come from, but here is where it sets.

SHANGHAI NOON

Roy O'Bannon: Yes, John, I've heard all about the Emperor. Must be one hell of a man.
Chon Wang: He's only twelve.
Roy O'Bannon: Are you kidding me? You're sitting here, waiting to die for someone whose balls haven't even dropped?


SHANGHAI NOON