my fiance n i were arguing n i told him whether he likes it or not am stuck with him,he got angry and warned me not to say dat.

now am wondering,sudnt a guy be happy wen his gf tells him shes stuck with him?y did he get angry wen i said dat?does it in any way mean his no longer sure about a future relationship?i asked him wat he meant by the statement,he siad i sudnt take the statement to heart,dat he doesnt just like the way it sounds.

men in d house ,pls candid opinions,do u think am loosing my relationship?
mynd 44, wud appreciate if u dont comment,cos ur words r too harsh

Different people with temperament, and different mood, I don't see anything in the word stuck but it may annoy me if used in an improper way. I'm sure he is not in good mood during and after that argument, so he find it difficult to take word stuck, is as if, you're telling him that he has no where to go, he has no option and nothing he can do to separate him from you. This is just a bad mood interpretation that can be read to it. When a guy is angry with his gf lots of things goes on in his mind, looking into the future at that time with you is not the option, he will at it that, if you're not married now and you can arguing with them like that, how will it be, if you eventually get married. I'm not accusing you for anything, just letting you know how irrational man can think at time, it happens to woman too.
Tell him you're sorry, not because you've done something bad but for the sake of your relationship.
To whether you're loosing your relationship, after when everything is over, you've back to the normal level, use the word stuck again but not directly relating to him and watch his reaction, if he really don't like that word, he will react with it again, then back off immediately. But if no reaction shows up, then, something might be fishing somewhere.

OP, i am stuck with u means u are finished, nowhere for u to run to, i will always be in ur life/dream, u have no more breathing space, and the most scariest interpretation is 'i'll be the one to kill u'

lrguru: OP, i am stuck with u means u are finished, nowhere for u to run to, i will always be in ur life/dream, u have no more breathing space, and the most scariest interpretation is 'i'll be the one to kill u'

I'll like to see d encyclopedia from which, 'I'm stuck with u' means 'u're finished'.
If the lady had said,'u're stuck with me', it's a diffirent matter which can annoy anyman who is egocentric in nature.
But ur utterance, to me, is more like a compliment I will cherish if u are every man's dream. He probable got u wrong.
Sorry to add this: some people's brains are upside down, u say te wrong thing and they love it!!!
Go explain urself, stop wasting ur time here. Ok?

How many belle you don commot for the guy?

E be like say you don commot that thing reach 7 times

Forever scares the hell outta some people (including me), that I understand, but him reacting the way he did is uncalled for.
Come to think of it, warning u about saying such thing? And you call him ur fiance? How exactly did he become ur fiance? Was it by default or he actually proposed?

If I were u, I will beam him a smile (I always do that when I'm up to no good), go back to my house and give him space, cos from all indication he needs it. I didn't say break up with him o, I said give him space.


But then again u are not me............

Listen, it's a very bad statement to make either way. Be it a man or a woman. Getting stuck to a person is another way to say , you must have me no matter what may happen. Some may think that you are possessive as this could mean that, no other person can have him. Try not to use such a word in a relationship. Have an open relationship. It could mean a curse also to some people. His parents might end up reacting negatively to the statement if he opens his mouth to say it. If things are going badly for him, he might start reading meanings into the statement.

But why must you say that??
Are you that hopeless ni?

Interesting

The word you used to me was not bad but i guess mood also contributed to such statement. I would not like to conclude but before i comment further can i know the mood both of you were in then when you told him the word?

@adim we were not happy with each other,he was trying to explain himself ,likewise me,one tin led to another n i blotted the word out.
ifihearam- am not hopeless n my kind of person can never be hopeless. its not about bin hopeless,do u hav a relationship?do u know wat it means to be 200% faithful to one man?n dearie a relationship can never be completely on bed of roses.
@andyanders i totatally get ur point

@vivian he actually proposed,after i asked for the meaning of wat he meant,i was shocked i also felt he needed space,i entered to get my bag but he came n stopped me ,said i was going no where,infact that had wanted to turn to another issue,i had to succumb so he doesnt start telling himself his wife to be is heady

@lookmanade i tottaly get ur point,thanks

@kingwax,am happy someone is reasoning along my line,i meant it as a compliment,av always teased him with that prior to dis time,dats y am suprised he reacted dis way,everytime i tease him with d statemtn,we play or he acts or does somtin in the affirmative of the statement, dat was y i was so shocked he made that statement,i guess he was relli angry.

pdude abeg o, no crucify me before my time,we play safe,n if anytin happens ,we r both old enof n ready to take responsibilities n nt the other way round

@OP
although it "may" sound nice to some men with bloated egos, what you said is definitely wrong IMHO. it sounds like them crazy women who say:"if i cant be with you, nobody else will". Love is not by force o, and you certainly made it seem like it is in your r/ship.

as a man, if someone says these words to me, i would certainly reconsider my position in this r/ship ASAP.

kpdc85: @vivian he actually proposed,after i asked for the meaning of wat he meant,i was shocked i also felt he needed space,i entered to get my bag but he came n stopped me ,said i was going no where,infact that had wanted to turn to another issue,i had to succumb so he doesnt start telling himself his wife to be is heady

I understand, totally. But sometimes u have to just disagree with a man, in a most possibly polite way. If those statements hurt u, then don't even try to sit him down in the name of talking to him, else the word 'desperate' would be written all over ur forehead. He feels that way already. Give him space! Do not tell him "hey honey, I'm giving u a space," just be charming and nice to him but be emotionally withdrawn. Concentrate on urself more than on the relationship. That way, he would wish for u to be stuck with him.

Babe, u cannot always do his wish just because u wanna be called a 'good wife,' in this case 'to be.' it could get worst. U really have to start standing ur grounds. If he hurts u by deeds or words, show him that and don't let him cajole u.

Whether in the heat of argument or not, he ought to have understood that a woman's pride is fragile. When hurt a tiny bit it makes them feel desperate. It is his duty to protect this pride and not utter words that will make u feel less about urself!

I now have the answers i need. You both were in the heat of an argument and let's be factual people can say things out of anger. The aftermath intent,actions and reactions will determine whether the first statement was said in error or anger. Am not of the school of thought that you should use just a reaction to throw away all you have shared. It depends on mood and the way you communicate with each other. Some men with that statement will be very happy at least to them it shows the sign of faithfulness from their spouse. While some men might be very angry with the statement others might just be totally indifferent. This is the reason why i will not condemn any of us, cos show how somewhere, you might have been using some words similar to this statement you made, and i guess he had been cooled with them prior to his anger when you made the statement.
All i will say here is check his actions after he rebuked you and know if actually the response he gave to you was from his heart or mere anger.

op. Look let me tell u,men hate arguing with their women,better shut ur mouth wen ever he is angry with you,and talk to him latter when he is happy.u know u womeN get bad mouth and can talk rubbish at any time

As a woman, if some guy should blurt that out to me,I ll definitely reconsider my stand on the relationship.He is not married to you yet you know.I personally hate it if someone tries to let me know I have no choice(stuck),the person will have to watch me(unstuck)myself.Apologies should do the trick if he isn't tired of the relationship already.

i don't know what to tell you, but i believe female intuition should not be down played. Your fiance may just not be very vast in English language especially if he is NIgerian and would rather pick offense when a word is used in a way they don't undertand, or he may mean what he is saying.

kpdc85:
mynd 44, wud appreciate if u dont comment,cos ur words r too harsh

^^

Ok, lots of sensible responses here, but here's my two cents: I think your man is prolly like me - i strongly hate being told that i have no option in an issue (= stuck), and to be honest, i'd must likely respond the same way your fiance did (= dont dare me). Your explanations, however, show how wrong i would be to say that. So...

So, no, i dont think you're losing your relationship. I think your fiance just misunderstood your choice of words; a little heart-to-heart talk should set you both coo-cooing like love-birds again.

Oh, and if u dont mind, allow me to add something else i learnt from experience...

See, when u're having hot words with a loved one, and the person makes a statement u find shocking or crazy or plain unbelievable, please if u really love that person, do NOT immediately repond with ''WHAT DO U MEAN BY THAT?'' Or the shorter version ''MEANING??'' Believe me, if u do, that person is more likely to say something even crazier and u too will have to say something worse and then on and on... Anger does that.

What i suggest: Just keep quiet. NOT ONE WORD! Walk slowly out and sit down in the next room. Give it a few minutes, hours if need be, until the two of you are calmer. Then come back and gently ask him/her ''sweetheart, did u really mean it when u said so and so to me?'' If that person really loves you - doesn't even matter whose fault the initial argument was - the first thing they'll do is say they're sorry. They may still stand by that crazy statement, but they're now more likely to honestly tell u why they said it.

But hey, u only do this with someone you really love o; any other person wey shout give u, shout give am back! Or better still, refer them to your oga at the top.

Maybe he has commitment issues, so he read "I'm stuck with you" as if you said "You're stuck with me", then he panicked a little.

@mozonto,ur making me laugh my stomach out

@vivian yes i understand n thanks a bunch

@kay ,thanks,made a lot of sense,u sud be a counsellor

kpdc85: my fiance n i were arguing n i told him whether he likes it or not am stuck with him,he got angry and warned me not to say dat.

now am wondering,sudnt a guy be happy wen his gf tells him shes stuck with him?y did he get angry wen i said dat?does it in any way mean his no longer sure about a future relationship?i asked him wat he meant by the statement,he siad i sudnt take the statement to heart,dat he doesnt just like the way it sounds.

men in d house ,pls candid opinions,do u think am loosing my relationship?
mynd 44, wud appreciate if u dont comment,cos ur words r too harsh

[size=13pt]You made the man feel like he was imprisoned by you...Men love their freedom. Better apologise and sin no more.[/size]

MRbrownJAY: @OP
although it "may" sound nice to some men with bloated egos, what you said is definitely wrong IMHO. it sounds like them crazy women who say:"if i cant be with you, nobody else will". Love is not by force o, and you certainly made it seem like it is in your r/ship.

as a man, if someone says these words to me, i would certainly reconsider my position in this r/ship ASAP.

On point!