I'm an educated 31yr old guy, I've got a Bsc and Masters. I don't have a job cos I've never wanted to work under anyone. I don't have a business I own, but somehow I make money every now and then to foot my bills. I live comfortably and don't depend on anyone.
So i have this girlfriend who's got everything I want in a lady. We've been friends for 2years and I've been asking her out. She finally agreed to start a relationship with me last month. She came all the way from school to spend time with me. We were together this past weekend and to my surprise I found out she's a virgin. She willingly allowed me to disflower her on sunday night. We're so much in love. She's rounding up her studies next year april and she wants me to meet her folks soon.
My problem here is this, I really don't know how her folks will feel knowing I don't have a specific kind of work. Though I live comfortably, I'm not rich but I'm ok. I don't have a business now cos I'm yet to get business ideas. I once ventured into a business and lost everything I invested into it.. My Second problem here is that I'm 10yrs older than her. I'll be 31yrs this year and she'll be 21yrs this year too. Do u guys think the age difference is much? I keep wondering if her folks will be comfortable with the age difference. Please advice a brother.

Her folks will most likely not have an issue with the age difference as long as you continue to treat their daughter right and you are as capable as you say. Better you than a younger guy with no morals.

Btw how do you somehow make money every now and then.?

Hmm your doing your own thing will worry them. You need to present your future earning plans to show you can cater for your household, this thing you do that brings in money now and then may most likely not be good enough for a married man remember you are no longer looking out for just you, but for you and others.

You need to tidy up you plans,your source of income etc before you bite the bullet. She is young and is looking up to you, You equally need to talk to her about your fears and concerns, because you are older than her does not make her unable to listen,understand,advice and soothe your concerns after all you want to spend the rest of your life with her so make her your confidant. This is how the bonding begins.

^^
Hey lady, u talk too much.
I mean, u left nothing else to say

andromida: Her folks will most likely not have an issue with the age difference as long as you continue to treat their daughter right and you are as capable as you say. Better you than a younger guy with no morals.

Btw how do you somehow make money every now and then.?

Hmm your doing your own thing will worry them. You need to present your future earning plans to show you can cater for your household, this thing you do that brings in money now and then may most likely not be good enough for a married man remember you are no longer looking out for just you, but for you and others.

You need to tidy up you plans,your source of income etc before you bite the bullet. She is young and is looking up to you, You equally need to talk to her about your fears and concerns, because you are older than her does not make her unable to listen,understand,advice and soothe your concerns after all you want to spend the rest of your life with her so make her your confidant. This is how the bonding begins.

Thanks for ur advise. Like I said earlier, I can't specifically say what I do for a living. I could run into a friend who needs funding for a project, we contribute and then share whatever profit comes out of it. I could also take a trip and buy a few couple things and sell. Other things like buying a car I saw at a cheap price and then selling it off with interest... We'll all call it business but when asked what type then I'll say nothing.
I love my girl so much. I'm not after her influence. She's from a wealthy family. Her dad runs his business and her mom also has her business too which are both booming. She asked me over the weekend if she could use her mom or dads influence to get me involved with something, but I couldn't answer cos I never thought of getting help from her and I'm not after her parents influence. I love her so much and I'm jst scared that I might not fit in when I get to meet her folks

The age difference probably wouldn't bother them as much as your lack of stable job would.

@op, hw do u make money? Are u still dependent on some people?

Op, sorry to ask. Is it because of d virgin sturff that made u love her die or are there other qualities u admire?
Secondly, no parents will be confortable to leave their daughter with a man without a clear cut source of income. Better start plannng before the D day.

Exponental: @op, hw do u make money? Are u still dependent on some people?

No I'm not. Read my posts well. I don't depend on anyone. The last time I got fund from anyone was my mom and that's was 8yrs back, it was my first degree 200level school fees. I took care of myself without anybody's help.

richyblink1: Op, sorry to ask. Is it because of d virgin sturff that made u love her die or are there other qualities u admire?
Secondly, no parents will be confortable to leave their daughter with a man without a clear cut source of income. Better start plannng before the D day.

I love her not be because of the virginity thing. She's got a good attitude, both inner and outer beauty, she's intelligent and good mannered.
I've always been thinking of specializing in a particular type of business but I'm out of ideas as I ventured into one not quite long and lost a lot.

Yield: The age difference probably wouldn't bother them as much as your lack of stable job would.

Ok

simpleE:

No I'm not. Read my posts well. I don't depend on anyone. The last time I got fund from anyone was my mom and that's was 8yrs back, it was my first degree 200level school fees. I took care of myself without anybody's help.

u only answered one question. Hw do u make money? Her people will definitely want to know what u do. if u cant say it, dont bother going cos it's a compulsory question with d highest mark.

The numb one thing any sane woman and her family wants is STABILITY and you my friend don't have that.
What kind of job earns you money that can't be named?(maybe not to us but atleast her family).
Does she even know what you do and how you make your money?
If she doesn't know, or hasn't asked and yet wants to marry you, then you have more problems on your hands than you can possibly imagine.

Get something stable to occupy yourself with. Working under someone doesn't take a dime from you, instead you could get profitable business ideas and an understanding of the business environment by constantly being in one(think about it) .

Exponental:
u only answered one question. Hw do u make money? Her people will definitely want to know what u do. if u cant say it, dont bother going cos it's a compulsory question with d highest mark.

I answerd to an earlier post. Check well I quote myself.. " I could run into a friend who needs funding for a project, we contribute and then share whatever profit comes out of it. I could also take a trip and buy a few couple things and sell. Other things like buying a car I saw at a cheap price and then selling it off with interest... "

uj_sizzle: The numb one thing any sane woman and her family wants is STABILITY and you my friend don't have that.
What kind of job earns you money that can't be named?(maybe not to us but atleast her family).
Does she even know what you do and how you make your money?
If she doesn't know, or hasn't asked and yet wants to marry you, then you have more problems on your hands than you can possibly imagine.

Get something stable to occupy yourself with. Working under someone doesn't take a dime from you, instead you could get profitable business ideas and an understanding of the business environment by constantly being in one(think about it) .

Thanks for you advise. If u read through my post you'll see I talked about how I get money.

I m not convinced there's a GENUINE source of income

Smells like a fish...
Looks like a fish...
Better believe its a.....

Chinwem: I m not convinced there's a GENUINE source of income

Smells like a fish...
Looks like a fish...
Better believe its a.....

You need to read through my posts!

What kind of stuff pays you and you cannot define? Dude any sensible parent will ask that and you'd better have a sensible reply

Na wa o! Seems they raise kids of these days to think about marriage from the womb. SMH. OP, she is 21. She can wait. Hustle for yourself and get your own tangible business going without help from her parents. Trust me, you will be more respected and will be in charge of your life and future marriage. Please, don't take handouts from your future inlaws.

simpleE:

Thanks for you advise. If u read through my post you'll see I talked about how I get money.

did you miss the word 'Stable'? If you did that's it posted again.
Your income depends to a large extent on other people who may or may not want to go into 'business' with you....that's plain terribly worse than a person who waits for monthly salary from a boss(atleast they can exercise legal action).
You never ready to marry, when you are no one will ask you to put your life in order.

simpleE:


Thanks for ur advise. Like I said earlier, I can't specifically say what I do for a living. I could run into a friend who needs funding for a project, we contribute and then share whatever profit comes out of it. I could also take a trip and buy a few couple things and sell. Other things like buying a car I saw at a cheap price and then selling it off with interest... We'll all call it business but when asked what type then I'll say nothing.
I love my girl so much. I'm not after her influence. She's from a wealthy family. Her dad runs his business and her mom also has her business too which are both booming. She asked me over the weekend if she could use her mom or dads influence to get me involved with something, but I couldn't answer cos I never thought of getting help from her and I'm not after her parents influence. I love her so much and I'm jst scared that I might not fit in when I get to meet her folks

Brother i have to tell you as it is any decision made out of fear will most likely be a wrong decision. You need to be stable before you marry luckily she is young and you need to tidy up your ends.

Don't make your marriage all about losing her there is more to your life than losing her or not. If you don't want to work for someone you have to build a solid business with a good future love is not enough stability and consistency is very important,as much as possible avoid handouts from your in laws not all handouts are bad though and if the handouts will not take away your dignity as a human being and as the man of your home i don't see why you should not take it.This is where you employ the use of your good God given senses to study your in laws and your woman.

Most importantly know yourself what level of assistance can you accept,be comfortable with yourself and be at peace with everyone.

simpleE:


Thanks for ur advise. Like I said earlier, I can't specifically say what I do for a living. I could run into a friend who needs funding for a project, we contribute and then share whatever profit comes out of it. I could also take a trip and buy a few couple things and sell. Other things like buying a car I saw at a cheap price and then selling it off with interest... We'll all call it business but when asked what type then I'll say nothing.
I love my girl so much. I'm not after her influence. She's from a wealthy family. Her dad runs his business and her mom also has her business too which are both booming. She asked me over the weekend if she could use her mom or dads influence to get me involved with something, but I couldn't answer cos I never thought of getting help from her and I'm not after her parents influence. I love her so much and I'm jst scared that I might not fit in when I get to meet her folks

Brother i have to tell you as it is any decision made out of fear will most likely be a wrong decision. You need to be stable before you marry luckily she is young and you need to tidy up your ends.

As much as two heads are better than one don't make your marriage all about losing her there is more to your life than losing her or not. If you don't want to work for someone you have to build a solid business with a good future love is not enough stability and consistency is very important,as much as possible avoid handouts from your in laws not all handouts are bad though if the handouts will not take away your dignity as a human being and as the man of your home i don't see why you should not take it.This is where you employ the use of your good God given senses to study your in laws and your woman.

When you meet her parents be truthful no need to make yourself out to be what you are not i mean its not like you are an utter failure its just that you are still in the making which is why i still say you need to tidy up your ends.

Most importantly know thyself what level of assistance can you accept,be comfortable with yourself and be at peace with everyone not every man will be at the top of his game before he gets married most are on their way and meet the right person along the way to make the journey easier since you believe her to be a keeper then keep her but do right by yourself too.

Explain what you are saying here to her as well.

Dude stop famzing yourself here!! Your worry is that you are into illegal bizness and you acquired your so called money thru illegal means and this is what is giving you concern. You are worried you wldnt be able to defend your source wen u face her parents.all those crappy explanations u gave above of buying cars at cheap price and selling at mkt price, of travelling and seeing something and buy are all Tales by the moonlight. Only a mumu will believe such

The girl is still young to be able to decipher your activities but her folks will definitely do. You are afraid to lose her.

My advice: get a job and stop fooling yourself that you are 'okay'. This way, you are sure of stability and a guaranteed future.

jam04: Dude stop famzing yourself here!! Your worry is that you are into illegal bizness and you acquired your so called money thru illegal means and this is what is giving you concern. You are worried you wldnt be able to defend your source wen u face her parents.all those crappy explanations u gave above of buying cars at cheap price and selling at mkt price, of travelling and seeing something and buy are all Tales by the moonlight. Only a mumu will believe such

The girl is still young to be able to decipher your activities but her folks will definitely do. You are afraid to lose her.

My advice: get a job and stop fooling yourself that you are 'okay'. This way, you are sure of stability and a guaranteed future.

Oh! So everyone who doesn't have a specific source of income is into something illegal? Well you didn't have to leave a comment as I only welcome comments from matured minds

@ All, I'll just have to get myself into something specific but its difficult after failing in the last effort I made.

I don't see any problem in regards to the age. I'm exactly 10 years older than the girl I'm about to marry.it's between both of you and no one else.you should be worried about other things or reservation the parents might have

simpleE: @ All, I'll just have to get myself into something specific but its difficult after failing in the last effort I made.

Failure should make you stronger bro

Leopantro: I don't see any problem in regards to the age. I'm exactly 10 years older than the girl I'm about to marry.it's between both of you and no one else.you should be worried about other things or reservation the parents might have

Thank you sir!

Black Pen15: OP are you an armed robber or a ritualist? Why can't you tell us how you make your small money?

Afterall you don't have a job, you don't do business but you make money.

#Confusing.

Please learn to read and digest before you comment

simpleE:
Thanks for ur advise. Like I said earlier, I can't specifically say what I do for a living.

[quote author=jam04]Dude stop famzing yourself here!! Your worry is that you are into illegal bizness and you acquired your so called money thru illegal means and this is what is giving you concern. You are worried you wldnt be able to defend your source wen u face her parents.all those crappy explanations u gave above of buying cars at cheap price and selling at mkt price, of travelling and seeing something and buy are all Tales by the moonlight. Only a mumu will believe such

The girl is still young to be able to decipher your activities but her folks will definitely do. You are afraid to lose her.

My advice: get a job and stop fooling yourself that you are 'okay'. This way, you are sure of stability and a guaranteed future. [/quote]

[quote author=Black Pen15]OP are you an armed robber or a ritualist? Why can't you tell us how you make your small money?

Afterall you don't have a job, you don't do business but you make money.

#Confusing.[/quote

]

@OP if its true wat u saying den, just organise urself. Nw, all d money u make 4rm d little business u do wat do u use dem 4? I also understd u're d independent type, but u shud have ppl like friends or relatives dat can assist u in terms of doing a stable business. No man is an island, u can't be running 4rm pillar 2 post. U must have a plan 4 ur life. D first questn 2 ask urself is, wat do u want 2 do? Besides,u shud be d one asking 2 meet her parents not she telling u 2 come&meet her parents. U are d one dat wants 2 marry her&not d oda way round. I think dat parent stuff is too early o! Tell her 2 exercise patience but she's very young so she might be scared u want 2 dump her, make her see reasons. Its ur life bro, u need 2 be a man&be decisive.