Jealousy, to me, is a human emotion that we experience at some point or another. For some, jealousy is a real issue and, if not properly put in check, can create a permanent wedge between a couple, while negatively affecting future relationships.

Taken literally, jealousy refers to a strong desire for someone else's stature or possessions. However, in a social setting, it causes someone to be doubtful of their partner and feel threatened by their interaction with certain people, what they wear or where they go.

There are varying degrees of jealousy. It does not necessarily merit its negative connotation; after all, it's normal for men to be suspicious of their women (and vice versa). It can be cute, healthy or obsessive. When its cute, the partners exhibit harmless and perfectly normal reactions. A man who voices his concern over having his girlfriend go out with a bunch of guys or seeing another man flirting with her is also part of a healthy relationship. This is cool and acceptable, but when its in excess, it becomes annoying.

My concern is centred on Obsessive jealousy

When aggression and/or violence accompanies jealousy, problems arise. Once a man (or woman as the case maybe) reaches this stage, he obsessively begins to question his woman's loyalty to him, and that sends him into a rage, maybe even causing him to use physical force or take some extreme measures.

she is unable to even look at another guy or leave your side when you're both out. You demand to know where s/he is at all times and the mere mention of another guy/girl's name sends
you off the deep end. These can make your partner become more like a subject or slave to you instead of a partner.

Thus my question: How do you react to excessive display of jealousy and how do you handle the situation?

First of all what would make me excessively jealous, if I should ever be, is if I have deep love for my lady! I would want everything about her to be just mine and no one else's hence any action that would make her give undue attention to whomever it may concern will be seen as an encroachment!

Now, putting my lady in this position where she's excessively jealous because she loves me so much and doesn't want any lady to come any close, I would, if I love her enough and want her in my life, let her in on the details of my being close to whomever may be her source of concern and try to make her understand! I would, if it's necessary, have her introduced to the object of her concern!

I think some partners get so jealous because there's so much secrecy in some relationships. If you should let your partner know about things that are likely to arouse jealousy, I think there wouldn't be room for that kind of jealousy!

How're you chikk?

I once had an obsessively jealous boyfriend. From my experience I can say that you can do nothing against it, it only gets worse with time. Never again!

Hmmm. Well said DigitalSignal!
....I would, if I love her enough
and want her in my life, let her in on the
details of my being close to whomever may be
her source of concern and try to make her
understand! I would, if it's necessary, have her
introduced to the object of her concern!

That's a nice one. And if there's a reasonable degree of understanding in the relationship, this will strengthen the bond and trust between the couple.

And I'm fine thanks @Digitalsignal

I once had a boyfriend like that and it was basically master and servant relationship. He was obsessively jealous which always led to quarrels, and that was because there was no trust. Jealosy is normal in a relationship but when there is trust, jealousy doesn't become obsessive. So ladies, guys, learn to trust!

DigitalSignal: First of all what would make me excessively jealous, if I should ever be, is if I have deep love for my lady! I would want everything about her to be just mine and no one else's hence any action that would make her give undue attention to whomever it may concern will be seen as an encroachment!

right from the start, you are showing the very reason why jealousy is wrong. why do you expect an adult person to give attention to just you (simply because you guys are dating)? cant you see how wrong this is? let that person give people in her life the attention they deserve, so long as it isnt wrong (aka cheating or excessive flirting)

Now, putting my lady in this position where she's excessively jealous because she loves me so much and doesn't want any lady to come any close, I would, if I love her enough and want her in my life, let her in on the details of my being close to whomever may be her source of concern and try to make her understand! I would, if it's necessary, have her introduced to the object of her concern!

so would you also accept the above in bold as the solution, if your girl was giving/getting attention from guys?!
sadly, even if you introduce the person or tell your partner about them, the result will remain the same.....because jealous people cant think right in these moments. they are not rational when they are jealous thus anything that comes out of their mind at that moment wouldnt make any sense, so long as someone is giving/getting your attention

I think some partners get so jealous because there's so much secrecy in some relationships. If you should let your partner know about things that are likely to arouse jealousy, I think there wouldn't be room for that kind of jealousy!

have you ever tried to reason with a jealous woman?! they make no damn sense, and the only way to solve the problem is if you ONLY give attention that that person, and nobody else in the world. dont talk to anybody, dont look at anybody, dont even think of anybody......just HER.

@OP
as for me, i deal with jealousy only ONE WAY: from the first sign of jealousy nonsense, i warn the girl "once" about her actions being wrong, if she doesnt change then she is out, basta! no need to try to rewire her brain, it wont work.

Jealousy is a product of love and obsessive jealousy is certainly a product of a much deeper love....

am jealous and hate a jealous girlfriend

MRbrownJAY:

right from the start, you are showing the very reason why jealousy is wrong. why do you expect an adult person to give attention to just you (simply because you guys are dating)? cant you see how wrong this is? let that person give people in her life the attention they deserve, so long as it isnt wrong (aka cheating or excessive flirting)

I just painted a scenario where someone is excessively jealous! Now have you bothered to ask why someone would be that jealous? Can you pause for a second to think about how you started with her; the way you smiled, talked, laughed, looked at her etc., when you first met her? Now she's seeing all these signs being displayed on another lady and she doesn't even know what you're going to do next! What would you have her do, sit around and watch the man who's been able to penetrate the depth of her heart to settle at it's core being snatched away?

To every being, there's an emotional side and we do not all have the same level of control over our feelings. You can't make her understand you by talking to her senses when she has an emotional surge! We're dealing with emotion here and you have to connect with her emotional side as well and give her that assurance that she's the only one! don't give her the feeling that she's losing you! let your actions and inactions reassure her worth in your life.

MRbrownJAY: so would you also accept the above in bold as the solution, if your girl was giving/getting attention from guys?!
sadly, even if you introduce the person or tell your partner about them, the result will remain the same.....because jealous people cant think right in these moments. they are not rational when they are jealous thus anything that comes out of their mind at that moment wouldnt make any sense, so long as someone is giving/getting your attention

Now, let me ask you something! If you had just one bank account and one day you went to the bank to make some transaction only to be told your bank won't be operational for two weeks; how would you feel and react assuming the transaction was very important? Now, compare your reaction with a situation where your bank had earlier informed you that they would be inoperational within a specified period. Would your reaction in the two scenarios be the same? Shouldn't you have rather planned ahead should it be the second case?
Have you never seen or heard where people, on reflection, acted or reacted in manners they wished were different in emotional surges?

You do not try to make her see reason when she's already consumed! That is what they call ''Fire brigade approach!'' Your relationship with the one you love should be such that things that border on arousing suspicion are laid bare and no one is in the dark as to the level of your involvement with the outside party!

MRbrownJAY: have you ever tried to reason with a jealous woman?! they make no damn sense, and the only way to solve the problem is if you ONLY give attention that that person, and nobody else in the world. dont talk to anybody, dont look at anybody, dont even think of anybody......just HER.

Reason with her when she is calm and not excited by your actions! How can you connect her senses when her emotional side is vibrating?

It does't bother me.

I don't think it is too for a girl to want. You shouldn't be looking at other chicks when your out with your GF its common respect.

As for me, i feel jealously sometimes but i dont show it... if it ever became a serious problem i would just end the relationship.

Une femme qui n'est pas jalouse est une femme qui ne t'aime pas.

^ Amen. that is exactly how i see it

If someone really loves you there will be a natural level of jelousy

and if someone is flipping obessed with you there will be an extreme amount of jealousy.... thats just how the world works.

its not a problem if you arent cheating.

UncleJJ: Jealousy is a product of love and obsessive jealousy is certainly a product of a much deeper love....

Exactly!