Getting married is a big deal, that is why it is important to follow this list of things to discuss before marriage. Covering these topics will ensure that you and your future husband have an understanding of what each of you want for the future. This list covers everything from children to money to who’s doing the dishes Friday night.

1. CHILDREN:It is natural to think about children as you are planning a wedding. Marriage means starting a family, even if “Family” for you doesn't include having kids. Before you get married you need to discuss if you will have children, how many kids you want, will you adopt, and when you will start growing your family if you are having children. Don’t go into your marriage thinking that you can change each other’s mind. It’s not fair to expect a man to father children he doesn’t want or to deny him children. If this is the case you would both be happier with someone else.

2. MONEY:Life cost money. There is no denying that, which is why money is one thing to discuss before marriage. It’s important that both of you have an understanding on how to handle money. You also need to decide if you will keep separate bank accounts or join together. You should also discuss who is going to pay the bills and how much money you will save each month?


3. FAMILY:Have you met his family yet? Do you like them? Now is the time to figure out how you will handle your families and where you will lay boundaries. It’s insane to enter a marriage and think that his parents or your parents aren’t going to try to interfere at some point.

4. GOALS: Does he know what your future goals are? Do you know his? If you are career minded and plan to put all you have into work for the next 5 years so you can get a certain promotion or make a certain amount of money he needs to know this. You also need to know how his goals of quitting his current job to become a wedding singer are going to affect your life.

5. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING?:What’s the plan after you get married? Maybe you already live together and that takes out some of need to discuss before marriage, but you may still want to know how long do you plan to stay in your current home or if you need to start saving up to buy a house in the near future.

6. RELIGION:Believe it or not but religion is a very important thing to discuss before marriage. Chances are if you guys come from different religious backgrounds the topic has come up more than once. Figure out before you get married how you will celebrate religious holidays and handle any religious differences.

7. SECRETS:Secrets are another thing to let go of. If you think there might be a nude picture of you floating around out there from an ex-boyfriend or a job you held that you aren’t so proud of, tell him. It’s always best to come clean than to live worrying about it slipping out. How horrible would it be for your husband to find out at a party with all his friends that you use to dress as a clown at little kids’ birthday parties?


8. FAITHFULNESS :You would think that taking a vow to love one another unconditionally would sum up each other ideas on faithfulness, but that isn’t always the case. Some people really do believe that if you are different area codes it’s okay to mess around. Know for sure you are on the same page when it comes to faithfulness before taking the walk down the aisle.

9. VALUES:Everyone has their own set of values. While most values don’t differ too much one thing to discuss before marriage is what values are most important to each of you. Then you can decide what values you will share as a family.

10. SHOWING LOVE:We all receive love differently. Some people feel more loved when you give them a compliment or constantly reassure them of your love. Others see love as action. Find out what things you can do for each other to show you love one another.

11. CHORES:Didn’t think chores were a thing to discuss before marriage? Trust me it’s a talk you absolutely want to have. You need to be clear on what your expectations are on keeping the house clean. Decide who is responsible for what chores now, so everyone knows who is at fault when the trash hasn’t been taken out and the toilet is filthy.

12. BUDGET:It’s not enough to just discuss your finances. You also need to work out a budget together. This budget should cover all your bills, create a plan to pay off any debt, and save for the future. A good budget will clearly state how much money is left over each month to spend on personal items.

13. QUALITY TIME:Another thing to consider discussing before marriage is how you will spend quality time together. Don’t forget to plan date nights and special ways to appreciate each other.

14. PARENTING:If you have decided to have children you also need to discuss how you will parent. There are many different parenting styles. Some parents are stricter while other parents let things slide. There isn’t a right or wrong it’s just an important thing to know before marriage

15. HOW TO FIGHT:Do you know how to fight fair? Discuss before marriage how you can approach problems without getting ugly. Also figure out what topics are hot buttons that should be avoided in order to fight fair

16. FORGIVENESS:How will you forgive each other after an argument? Do you know what acts he considers unforgivable or may make it extremely hard for him to forgive you wholeheartedly? Find out these sort of things now.

17. TRUST:Can you trust each other? Are there certain things that he doesn’t trust you with right now? How can you get that trust back? Discuss before marriage any trust issues you have with each other.

18.JEALOUSY:Jealousy can be a huge downfall in any relationship. If you are a jealous person let him know that. Tell him the things that make you jealous and how he can avoid those things are help you get through them.

As you can see there are many things to discuss before marriage. Don’t let these topics scar you off about getting married. It’s just important that you and your future husband have a full understanding of one another. What are some other important things to discuss before marriage?

SOURCE:http://abidemionline.com/relationship/things-to-discuss-with-him-before-marriage/

4,8,17 are a big deal to me, as for Religion, we all met Religion in this world, a friend of mine (Muslim) married her husband (Christian) and they have a good marriage. The awesomeness in this post is too EPIC

Sanboy25:
Hum ok.
But don't you think that you would scare him away with all these questions ?

Marriage is not a fairytale, its serious work, if someone gets scared by all these question, then i wonder what the person will be prepared for ? this conversation is meant for couple en-route to the altar not just regular dating, though i'd panic if such conversation comes up now from my babe.

you don't even know my age ?

What will be will surely be. Questions or no question.

nice

All these unrealistic expectations about marriage will only lead to the divorce court. A million questions like these cannot prepare you for it.

There are no guarantees in life including marriage. People change, season comes and goes. Each new day is dipped in the mystery of God that no human being can ever plan for.

Wisdom is the principal thing. Only the grace of God can sustain a marriage .

SELFWORTH: All these unrealistic expectations about marriage will only lead to the divorce court. A million questions cannot prepare you for it.

There are no guarantees in life including marriage.

Only the grace of God can sustain a marriage.

God bless your father!

This is long story, the only thing to discuss is establishment of boundaries for the woman as well as your constitution, code of conduct, dos and donts. Simple as ABC

Nyc 1 dir! it is a good tin to write nd read,bt profitable to act!

[b]You would only have to discuss all these, particularly number 2( MONEY) if you are looking to marry a Nigerian woman(most in my judgment love money more than their husbands, children and themselves...very sickening)....very arrogant, selfish, coterie of people. Do yourself a huge favor and marry yourself a white or other women besides Nigerian women. Most of these women besides Nigerian, already know all these and know how to treat their men. Don't start up debate with me, because I have been there; married a sister(Nigerian); was unhappy for years as with most of my friends(educated...doctors, engineers, lawyers) until we all set to try something different...non Nigerian women. WE ALL FOUND HAPPINESS AND HAVE WONDERFUL FAMILY. The common denominator is that these women have a different upbringing and approach to life.Money is never an issue with them...NEVER, even if you have it in abundance. It means virtually nothing to them.

THIS TREND WILL CONTINUE UNTIL NIGERIAN WOMEN LEARN TO STOP BEING ARROGANT AND MONEY HUNGRY. You can never win arrogance with a man...never except he is a weak man. He will rather, win it, leave you/divorce, or kill you. He is a man for a reason. The best you can do is to bring your demure, womanly, soft-spoken side....believe me, 99% of guys will listen and have a dialogue with you like a princess. [/b]

People change nd wen dey change dis questions wont matta anymor.

Food for thought.

Brilliance9000: . WE ALL FOUND HAPPINESS AND HAVE WONDERFUL FAMILY.

THIS TREND WILL CONTINUE UNTIL NIGERIAN WOMEN LEARN TO STOP BEING ARROGANT AND MONEY HUNGRY.u.

Very ignorant post. How can you say ALL Nigerian women?

I guess these name calling includes all the women in your family and any daughters you have. ....

I hasten to add that you don't know tomorrow and you don't know what anyone can do to you tomorrow including your current spouse. You haven't learnt anything from the experience.

Its true common sense is NOT common. All those who agree with you also invariably agree that all the women in their lives including their MOTHER is as you have described above.

I tell you NL is full of kindergarten 'adults'.

SELFWORTH:

Very ignorant post. How can you say ALL?.

I guess these comments include all the women in your family and any daughters you have. ....

I just need to add that you don't know tomorrow and from your comments you haven't learnt anything. Caling God's creation 'names'....and you expect intelligent people to agree with your naive comments.

Such comment that come no where to the vicinity of reason explains you have no ignominy. I know my friends and got 6 likes already for this comment. Can someone please point to this neiscent being where I wrote " ALL Nigerian women". I would be stupid to say that. I said "MOST" and stand by it.This is how you fail SSCE, JAMB AND WEAC, you refuse to read and comprehend. Those that liked my comment, have a sound understanding of what I talking about. Asinine!

KingPradas: This your list is copy and paste from

http://www.bubblews.com/news/153822-20-things-to-discuss-with-him-before-marriage

Come one show some originality.

oh i see...buh why not post urz??

A very informative post indeed. I think it is common wisdom to have a conversation with your spouse-to-be concerning these issues outlined (if not all atleast 70%)
But as another post rightly said, people change...

A man/woman might tell you all that you want to hear and when the ring is in your finger, the story go change...

The only solution, do your best in terms of trying to sort out these issues with your spouse -to- be and leave the rest to God..

But no be by power

Brilliance9000:

Such comment that come no where to the vicinity of reason explains you have no ignominy. I know my friends and got 6 likes already for this comment. Asinine!

You win with your superficial 'likes'.

With all these name calling and your bitter comments, I can fully comprehend why you were DUMPED. You are simply horrid.

Like I said, In the land of the DUMB, the brainless will be king.

Because of your experience with one Nigerian woman, this means all Nigerian women are bad (as IMPLIED in your post) AND you expect us to believe you are intelligent?


Also a BIG fat LIAR. I pointed out the ignorance in his posts and he has gone to amend it.....trying to deny that he referred to all Nigerian women originally.

SELFWORTH:

You win with your superficial 'likes'.

Like I said, In the land of the DUMB, the brainless will be king.

I only try to respond to comments that come near to the vicinity of reason. Learn to read and comprehend before you comment.

SELFWORTH:

You win with your superficial 'likes'.

Like I said, In the land of the DUMB, the brainless will be king.

So by inference, you are the smart one while others are dumb right? Delusional.

SELFWORTH: All these unrealistic expectations about marriage will only lead to the divorce court. A million questions like these cannot prepare you for it.

There are no guarantees in life including marriage. People change, season comes and goes. Each new day is dipped in the mystery of God that no human being can ever plan for.

Wisdom is the principal thing. Only the grace of God can sustain a marriage.

Typical ignorant Nigerian... always putting everything on God. Yes, God is indispensable and play a huge role in our lives, however you must put in 99% effort in everything you do, includes marriage, and leave the 1% to God. God only helps those who help themselves.

Brilliance9000: [b]You would only have to discuss all these, particularly number 2( MONEY) if you are looking to marry a Nigerian woman(most in my judgment love money more than their husbands, children and themselves...very sickening)....very arrogant, selfish, coterie of people. Do yourself a huge favor and marry yourself a white or other women besides Nigerian women. Most of these women besides Nigerian, already know all these and know how to treat their men. Don't start up debate with me, because I have been there; married a sister(Nigerian); was unhappy for years as with most of my friends(educated...doctors, engineers, lawyers) until we all set to try something different...non Nigerian women. WE ALL FOUND HAPPINESS AND HAVE WONDERFUL FAMILY. The common denominator is that these women have a different upbringing and approach to life differently.Money is never an issue with them...NEVER, even if you have it in abundance. It means virtually nothing to them.

THIS TREND WILL CONTINUE UNTIL NIGERIAN WOMEN LEARN TO STOP BEING ARROGANT AND MONEY HUNGRY. You can never win arrogance with a man...never except he is a weak man. He will rather, win it, leave you/divorce, or kill you. He is a man for a reason. The best you can do is to bring your demure, womanly side....believe me, 99% of guys will listen and have a dialogue with you. [/b]

Huh?!

Who the hell is this guy? You having an unhappy marriage with your so called Nigerian lady doesn't mean you should tag all Nigerian ladies with all those vices you listed. How many 9ja girls did you get married to? Huh?

You're making it seem like no one can be happily married with a Nigerian girl. #sighs# I don tire o. Nigerians babes this, Nigerian babes that.

The list above is for Oyibo
Nigerian women have a separate list and as God will have it,our list is shorter too

Here it goes

1, Can you pay the bride price in my village and cater for me financially? Oh yes we want to know ,

2.when are you changing that beat up car to a berra jeep,please don't carry that thing to enter my father's compound I take God beg you ..before nko,the people riding jeeps,do they have two heads

3. Can you afford my trips to America to deliver our babies? E he nau ,Ifeoma and Adeola went to America to born pikin ,will my own be different

4. I ji kwa ego Dubai? I hope you have money for Dubai.if not biko tell me now now let me find my will of God,if it is not you.

5. I am doing my wedding shopping in London.,everything down to pant will be imported ..i have said my own

6. Is your mother still alive? For how long?i hope she is not planning to visit biko if she happens to be alive

7. After the igbankwu and Society wedding,will there still be plenty money left?oh yes,na love I go chop?

8. Is there impotence in your lineage?i want you to answer whenever I call so tell me let me know how to hazhie my life and pattern my future

'mide eniafe:
Huh?!

Who the hell is this guy? You having an unhappy marriage with your so called Nigerian lady doesn't mean you should tag all Nigerian ladies with all those vices you listed. How many 9ja girls did you get married to? Huh?

You're making it seem like no one can be happily married with a Nigerian girl. #sighs# I don tire o. Nigerians babes this, Nigerian babes that.

I know right!!!
The fact that they were unfortunate enough to attract the bad ones, makes them think they have earned the right to stereotyping.

You might have had a bad ordeal with a nigerian lady, but there are so many people getting married to nigerian ladies each saturday, and are happy in their union...