coogar:

this is unadulterated baloney!

what majority of the women on that video said is the truth and the wisest decision they can take. there's a huge incentive for women that divorce their husbands abroad - whether the women work or not. the women still get to keep the house and she gets child support on a monthly basis from their husbands.

asking nigerian women to skindive into divorce without a landing pad for them is just like asking them to commit suicide. they are well aware the law does not really cater for them so they are not ready to leave their husbands. you think if the same laws that apply in the UK are the ones being used in nigeria, women won't leave? our own naija women? you must be having a laugh!

So basically, you believe that an adult that chooses to be battered and unrepentantly disrespected so as to be able leech off another adult wise and refined?

Got it.

ileobatojo: That doesn't hold water because the man being the provider is one of the most notable gender role in marriage in our society. If you will unwaiveringly abolish that one and delegate your own primary role to be shared by both of you then it would be quite hypocritical of you to assign the vast majority of the household work to one person due to gender roles. If you plan to assign gender roles, then you must assign them across the board not changing things up as it suits you.

The wife doing most of the cooking while I do most of the cleaning isnt that sharing responsibility enough?

When the car has a fault, does he women too open the bonnet and change oil while the man cross his leg inside the car painting his nails?

When there is a heavy load to be carried does the woman carry the heavier while the man carry a little?

50calibre:

You are wrong!! because its quite known that Nigerian men have zero tolerance for rebellion, a fact women here can attest to so whatever guys write here is most likely true.

What you said is ironical because its actually nigerian women who suffer abuse and still endure, the video on page 1 proves that, therefore all these no-nonsense rhetoric by some females here are most likely empty words.

The same Nigerian men I've seen chopping inexplicable amounts of shyte? Abeg make we hear word. You men are chopping shyte on a daily basis the world over. How many of you are divorcing your wives? If you're not kicking them to the curb by the millions, then it goes without saying that you are chopping untold amounts of shyte.

ileobatojo:

The same Nigerian men I've seen chopping inexplicable amounts of shyte? Abeg make we hear word. You men are chopping shyte on a daily basis the world over. How many of you are divorcing your wives? If you're not kicking them to the curb by the millions, then it goes without saying that you are chopping untold amounts of shyte.

Any man chopping shyte and not kicking the woman to the curb probably has something else he is gaining from the relationship

And in most cases its the women who suffer from these family breakdown

^^ Condoleeza Rice was Secretary of State without ever being married

John McCain, Newt Gingrch were all divorcees

Rice's case was different. There is a high probability that she built her career without needing a man's clout, and could still have gone on to become a Secretary of STate,but i dont think she would have won if she contested in any election. However, Hillary still needed to ride on Bill's back to forge a political career.

Society is somewhat sympathetic towards divorced men and being divorced doesnt have an adverse impact as opposed to women.

fellis:
I can't wait for the time to come when women learn to fend for themselves and stop depending on men for anything.

Hahahahaha

ileobatojo:
So basically, you believe that an adult that chooses to be battered and unrepentantly disrespected so as to be able leech off another adult wise and refined?

Got it.

they did not choose to be battered and leech off their husbands. they chose to be in the marriage for their children, it's called selflessness - you need to learn it. you know, putting other factors before our own selfish needs for the greater good......

if michael adebolajo's mother didn't walk away from her husband, maybe the son wouldn't have turned into a terrorist. she thought she made the right decision some 10 years ago, we can see the effects now! so, women should keep leaving their husbands at every pitiful excuse - the end shall justify the means!

dayokanu:

The wife doing most of the cooking while I do most of the cleaning isnt that sharing responsibility enough?

When the car has a fault, does he women too open the bonnet and change oil while the man cross his leg inside the car painting his nails?

When there is a heavy load to be carried does the woman carry the heavier while the man carry a little?

She cooks while you clean sound fair to me. Car fault and heavy load are not comparable to the sheer volume of daily household duties that need to be done daily especially with children in the picture. Abi which kind of jalopy do you drive that is sputtering and packing up on a daily basis?

what political post was posh gunning for when she decided to stay in marriage with a cheating david beckham? prime minister?

And i didnt say it absolutely had to be political. Posh may have had other reasons for 'enduring' the marriage.

maclatunji:

Like I did not expect you to reply with this. A woman should be a lot more wiser, subtle and refined. Women who "rule" the world have mastered the art of influencing. Men tend to coerce, I am thinking ala Genghis Khan here.

A woman should not take that up.

women want to dominate also forgetting influencing or manipulating gets more done

lady gogo:
And i didnt say it absolutely had to be political. Posh may have had other reasons for 'enduring' the marriage.

yes - other reasons like siphoning his salary as posh is an uneducated married woman with no financial prowess. she lacks no talent and she's worth $0. she would become destitute if she ever leaves david beckham, won't she?

makes me laugh when i see nigerian women who are not worth £10,000 threaten to divorce their hubbies at the drop of a hat! women worth millions of pounds stayed in their marriages for their kids, and ultimately for the greater good!

Flygeriansteve: The shows that the gender equality advocates and feminism crusaders have so much work cut out for them. The ubiquitous internet blowhards who come on here are just an infinitesimal proportion of the largely ignorant and naive women who see cheating and domestic violence as perfectly normal!

As much as Im not an enthusiast of the fiery extremist type feminism, I find this responses shocking...

ileobatojo:


Applause! You don't know how much I appreciate you making this distinction. The people who just spit out the blanket term feminism and crticise it without being specific just come across as ignorant and uncouth.

this is true . in addition they are so caught up in their idealism that they do not take cognisance of the little progress being made
Things are getting better.. it will take time

coogar:

they did not choose to be battered and leech off their husbands.

They did not choose to be battered no. But they chose to leech off their husbands. If your husband is a bum, then you as a fully functional capable adult should be able to pull up your breeches and attempt to make a way for yourself as much as is within your abilities.

if michael adebolajo's mother didn't walk away from her husband, maybe the son wouldn't have turned into a terrorist. she thought she made the right decision some 10 years ago, we can see the effects now! so, women should keep leaving their husbands at every pitiful excuse - the end shall justify the means!

Right, because the father that she left him with is an slowpoke and nincompoop that cannot figure out how to raise a child? Will he be the first to raise a child as a single parent?

stillwater:

I don't understand you. You say all these but when a girl does the above you guys start crying about feminism.

That's not my point. I'm saying being a feminist is fine provided you can be it in all aspects. Feminism is female power/ strength. All of you talking nonsense here still expect preferential treatment as a woman right? Real feminist dont, they want to be treated equally as men in every sense.

dayokanu:

Nail on the Head

The moment Nigeria women stop worshipping money and try to make a living on their own while being able to live within their means this would stop

Most women endure abuse because of laziness and lack of finance.

How many household where the woman is the main earner would she be getting beat up like drum set

correct.. but some men are still abusive even though the woman is the big kahuna....

if michael adebolajo's mother didn't walk away from her husband, maybe the son wouldn't have turned into a terrorist. she thought she made the right decision some 10 years ago, we can see the effects now! so, women should keep leaving their husbands at every pitiful excuse - the end shall justify the means!

So you are blaming michael adebolajo's mother for her son's deeds? Do you know why she divorced her husband?

Would you not immediately leave your marriage if you were being physically abused and being cheated on?( if that was one of the reasons why she left). It could also have been due to a myriad of reasons. Lets not be judgemental please. There are children of divorced parents that turned out exceptionally well. We need to begin to take responsibilities for our actions, and stop playing the blame game. Michael adebolajo was a 28 yr old man.

dayokanu:

Nail on head.

When it comes to Benefits they remember we are equal

When it comes to responsibility You hear I am a lady

If it comes to getting salary We are equal

If it comes to lift this heavy stuff, It becomes Women are not designed for hardwork

You cant be looking for a man who would be responsible for a large part of your finances and still demand equality. He who pays the piper..
Another topic for another thread

LMAO...

lady gogo:
So you are blaming michael adebolajo's mother for her son's deeds? Do you know why she divorced her husband?

Would you not immediately leave your marriage if you were being physically abused and being cheated on?( if that was one of the reasons why she left). It could also have been due to a myriad of reasons. Lets not be judgemental please. There are children of divorced parents that turned out exceptionally well. We need to begin to take responsibilities for our actions, and stop playing the blame game. Michael adebolajo was a 28 yr old man.

Are you minding that joker?

dayokanu:

How many of these abused women would stay married for Mrs tag to a broke man

Typically this is how the conversation goes

Woman: My Husband beats me and cheats on me

Friend:Sorry I feel for you, Does he provide for the family?

Woman: Yes he has been carrying the burden of my finances ever since, shopping in Dubai and London vacation, even just bought me a SUV

Friend: My sister You better stay there, You are lucky o, "Good men" like that are scarce, You just have to endure, All men cheat and beat their wives, You are even lucky he hasnt brought the other women home

Assume the first response was "he doesnt provide anything for the House , I am even the one fending for myself"

I am sure the friends response would have been "So what are you waiting for or why havent you left him"

classic!!

MMotimo: How many families living in Naija have only one income?

How many of the abused women have no income?

a lot of the oil company workers spouses do not work or earn small pay relative to their husbands,.. they dont dare bring that feminist crap...

stillwater:

Mr man, respect is earned! Simple and short. Angela Merkel the German prime minister, no pe.nis. Are you more respected than her?

Earn your respect like Angela merkel and you would be given your due respect and not expecting to be respected when you piggy back on a man.

Angela merkel fought for herself solo, every man respects her.

dayokanu:

Can the womans income take care of all her needs and wants without depending on the man?

A girl earning 70k a month is also earning an income but is that enough for her Dubai trips, London Vacation, Brazilian hair, BB Z10, Lekki phase one neighbourhood and tear rubber Hyundai Elantra she drives?

this is so true.. even working class dey hustle nowadays...

coogar:

and you know that, how?
hilary clinton is a powerful woman - what did she do when she learnt monica lewinsky was polishing her husband's knob? did she flee? that's a sensible woman you have there - a selfless woman. the woman put her family first before her own selfish pride!

And that loyalty might be repayed in 2016 as her husband is now trying to prepare her for the White House. She was able to even be appointed as Secretary of State by virtue of being a Clinton.

Nuzo':


Unfortunately, I've come to notice that MOST female love Fetish acts, masochism, B.DS.M, Chauvanism or however one may describe it.

Its even evident in lesbian relationships. So, its not just a man versus woman kind of thing.

The only difference is that some like it on a high tempo while others like it tonned down.

S.exual gratification, false sense of feeling wanted, insecurities, traumatic childhood experience, material things, culture and religion may have conditioned them this way.

I, However have my reservations only if its on se.xual gratifications.

how come i never jam these freaky deaky girls

dayokanu:

Your expenses fall within your income is the summary of that post

Not earn 70k and spend 300k a month. How can you support yourself alone without depending on another person?

If you earn 100k and already have a lifestyle of 300k Someone else has to support that, And that might be a reason for clinging on to abuse in marriage instead of leaving

you killed it!

bettymafy: Oh puhlease! There is little/no corelation between abuse and financial responsibility! You all make it seem like most women who are abused are not financially independent. Most women in nigeria work their butts off to contribute a significant quota to the finance of the home. Some are even the sole providers of their homes and still get abused.

An abusive man won't stop even if the woman is the main provider of the home. I've even come to realise that men who are not financially well off are usually the ones abusing their wives prolly cos of frustration from the fact that they are not "man enough".

Financial independence on the woman's part should be for other reasons like; helping out in the home, contributing for projects and saving for rainy days. Not necessarily to avoid abuse.

The story of that dead banker comes in handy here. She was said to be the sole provider of her home and yet was beaten to death by her husband.

Nevertheless, I agree that it is less difficult for a financially empowered woman to leave an abusive man than it is for unempowered one but disagree that financial independence on the woman's part can make the man to not abuse her.

first bolded you are right betty...
second bolded, do you believe that mr arowolo claimed his wife was under the influence of alcohol and stabbed him and later stabbed herself to death

coogar:

yes - other reasons like siphoning his salary as posh is an uneducated married woman with no financial prowess. she lacks no talent and she's worth $0. she would become destitute if she ever leaves david beckham, won't she?

makes me laugh when i see nigerian women who are not worth £10,000 threaten to divorce their hubbies at the drop of a hat! women worth millions of pounds stayed in their marriages for their kids, and ultimately for the greater good!

I'm sensing that the first paragraph is intended as sarcasm?

coogar:

what political post was posh gunning for when she decided to stay in marriage with a cheating david beckham? prime minister?

a lip sticked smiley for our feminazis

coogar:

they did not choose to be battered and leech off their husbands. they chose to be in the marriage for their children, it's called selflessness - you need to learn it. you know, putting other factors before our own selfish needs for the greater good......

if michael adebolajo's mother didn't walk away from her husband, maybe the son wouldn't have turned into a terrorist. she thought she made the right decision some 10 years ago, we can see the effects now! so, women should keep leaving their husbands at every pitiful excuse - the end shall justify the means!

sadly you are right...

biolabee:

first bolded you are right betty...
second bolded, do you believe that mr arowolo claimed his wife was under the influence of alcohol and stabbed him and later stabbed herself to death

I would have loved to believe that but there has been history of abuse for the two years of their marriage. The wife kept complaining to both her family and the man's but was told to endure till her untimely death. So no, I don't believe it.

yes - other reasons like siphoning his salary as posh is an uneducated married woman with no financial prowess. she lacks no talent and she's worth $0. she would become destitute if she ever leaves david beckham, won't she?

makes me laugh when i see nigerian women who are not worth £10,000 threaten to divorce their hubbies at the drop of a hat! women worth millions of pounds stayed in their marriages for their kids, and ultimately for the greater good!

how do you know she has $0 dollars in her bank account?. she made her own money as a spice girl before she met david beckham. Posh could leave her marriage if she wanted to and not become destitute by downsizing. i also believe she makes some money from her clothing and perfume line. Her's bothers on low self esteem because she could still get quite a chunk from her divorce settlement.

SO women that are staying in their marriages are in it for the kids and greater good as opposed to the ones that left? would you stay in your marriage if you were hit or cheated on by your wife for the 'greater good'?. *side eye*

lady gogo:
So you are blaming michael adebolajo's mother for her son's deeds? Do you know why she divorced her husband?

who should i blame? who raised michael? i ask again - who did a poor job of raising michael?

Would you not immediately leave your marriage if you were being physically abused and being cheated on?( if that was one of the reasons why she left). It could also have been due to a myriad of reasons. Lets not be judgemental please.

myriad of reasons? what reasons?
how are you so sure the reason was domestic abuse? you are accusing me of jumping the gun and you are clearly doing that here......

There are children of divorced parents that turned out exceptionally well. We need to begin to take responsibilities for our actions, and stop playing the blame game. Michael adebolajo was a 28 yr old man.

he was less than 18 when the divorce was completed. maybe he was 12 when the separation took place and there must have been various tiffs before separation - in other words, michael grew in a home of strife!

of course - there are children of divorced parents that turned out exceptionally well and that was in spite of the divorce not because of the divorce. on a level playing field, kids raised in a happy marriage would turn out better than the other divide.

50calibre:

That's not my point. I'm saying being a feminist is fine provided you can be it in all aspects. Feminism is female power/ strength. All of you talking nonsense here still expect preferential treatment as a woman right? Real feminist dont, they want to be treated equally as men in every sense.

true... all that BS about women leaving the stricken cruise ship with the children before men is also crap
we are equal..

lady gogo:
how do you know she has $0 dollars in her bank account?. she made her own money as a spice girl before she met david beckham. Posh could leave her marriage if she wanted to and not become destitute by downsizing. i also believe she makes some money from her clothing and perfume line. Her's bothers on low self esteem because she could still get quite a chunk from her divorce settlement.

the sarcasm flew over your head, no vex!

SO women that are staying in their marriages are in it for the kids and greater good as opposed to the ones that left? would you stay in your marriage if you were hit or cheated on by your wife for the 'greater good'?. *side eye*

women that sacrificed their pride to remain in their marriages for their children should be applauded. they did it for the greater good!

if i was hit and cheated on by my wife? good luck to her on that. i would concentrate on building better men/women out of my children. which is worse? a battered mrs adebolajo or an abuse-free mother of a terrorist?