MMotimo:

Agree that people change but what are the chances that one partner will suddenly change. I know it happens but what percentage? Consider that marriage itself is a risk, you only pray that it is successful and you put in the work to make that happen. At the end of the day, I believe it is safe to say that on average, the majority of Naija marriages succeed.

How many human being would knowingly see a demon and marry him, Some were deceived, Some didnt even see that part of their Spouse and some changed during the marriage due to whatever reason. The Pray part is Ok but you need to do more than pray

Get an insurance vs Pray i never get an accident
Get an alternate source of income vs Pray i never lose my current job

I know life is a risk, Some people have given complete strangers their life saving and he didnt run with it, But Would I advise anyone to do that? Heck NO

Marriage success I wont know how you define it. o But those men in UNILAG every night carrying babes all have "succesful marriages" and even those women in the video

When I talk about courtship, I'm relating it to knowing the kind of person you are marrying and for you both to discuss what your priorities are and how to get there. You are a couple so that you can AGREE on stuff together.

A lot change. COurtship typically between a 27yr old guy with 3 pairs of jeans and 2 shirt with a 23yr old girl whose idea od life is Happily living after.

What reality of life do those 2 know at that time of courtship.

Compare the thinking of that 27/23yr old courting couple living with parents to the realities of life a 40/36yr old couple face.

From your views, would seem like only a lazy woman stays home. I find that so odd. Do you Just say that or do you really believe there is no value to staying home to raise your kids.

There are some genuine reasons a woman/partner can stay at home, health, education, planning a family etc. But making a career out of staying at home (Which involves no income) is what I frown at.

1. What happens when the income bringing partner falls sick or die? Answer, God would never allow that
2. What happens when the income making partner lose the job? Answer: God would never allow that to happen
3. What happens when the income making partner gets bored of the marriage and wants out? Answer: God would never allow that to happen.

Being a stay at home, No income generating wife would be something I would never want my sisters, Wife or daughter to be

Btw, some of us women have never worn Brazilian hair, do not have the latest phones and any owambes are once or twice a year. I say this to broaden the discussion and make it clear that it's not necessarily a case of baboon dey work, monkey dey chop.

My view is probably skewed because I have always stayed around women who work as much as if not more than the men. From the "Alarobo" women who get on trucks to buy from interior villages and sell in the market, to the School teachers, to the Nurses, Accountants, etc The Multinational I worked at in Nigeria was almost 55-60% women.

My mom just retired last year at close to 60 and next thing she has already started another one. And everyday she always wake up to go and work for the past 36yrs of her life. She had kids who went to University, Had a husband and a family too

So I get pissed when I see young able bodied women who think nature has given them the anatomy to get fed for life. And in truth its the no income generating ones that have outrageous tastes. A woman who knows how hard it is to make $10 wont open her mouth to tell you "How much is $700 that you cant dash me".

If boys and girls are equally educated then they should both work to contribute to family and society except in those afore mentioned cases

What do you think the life of a typical stay home Mom is?

Wake up, Husband goes to work and kids go to school by 8am, Wash 4-5 plates, Picks up phone gist with friend or visit other non working friends, Turns on TV to watch Nollywood, Eat, Sleep again. wake up by 4pm pick up kids back from school, Warm the food she prepared 2 days ago. And complain how hard it is to sit at home

MMotimo: @ coogar, that statistic get as e be. Haba! 50%? Naija women don't have that much liver ke

it's a different kettle of fish when you are dealing with nigerians. we would look at people in the eye and lie without fear. nigerian women have been known to carry series of belle from somewhere else when a man is shooting blanks and fruits of the womb are needed in the marriage.

all those gullible men that can't impregnate their wives for aeons and suddenly these wives would start popping them out yearly - result of night vigils with an endowed prophet! there's a disgusting video on the internet of a married woman getting rammed by a pastor screaming "power power" - she's got a husband somewhere!

men ought to check themselves if the wife is not getting pregnant. some of these "answered prayers" after years of waiting are no miracles at all but products of good old infidelity. the dana crash revealed a lot of secrets in nigeria and i advise men to carry out paternity tests on all their kids.....

stillwater: While we work on the woman to be empowered, men usually sit back to be screaming feminism like chickens. What do men want?

It goes to show women never win. If a lady pursues her career to a level where she would be extremely comfortable and decides to settle down at 30-32, these same men would ask her where and what she was up to when her mates were getting married. The inferior ones would see her as too rich and automatically label her as a non-wifey material.

Majority of the women around me are working their fingers to the bone to keep their families going. My colleagues, aunties, mum and her friends, neighbours, sisters, infact 95% of the women I know are working(both blue and white collar jobs)! In an average nigeria home of today, we all know JUST one income is not enough. I don't know why some men here are assuming all abused wives are not working and dependent on their husbands. You'd be surprised a good percentage of these working class babes still get abused and cheated on. Some earn more than their husbands and are still treated like shi.tt.

I have an aunt who earns two times more than her husband, and yet she gets physically abused by this beast she calls husband. He throws her out as he wishes at night and they both built the house together. There was a time the man packed out of the house for 4months to his mistress's house. This woman took full responsibility of her two kids and the household for that period, (like she has been doing actually). Man came back later and they went back to how they were. I was really mad at her and had to ask my mum what they were doing about her case. As far as I'm concerned, she can survive very well without this man but families, church and society are still keeping her in that hell called marriage.

In my own opinion, It all boils down to the kind of man you marry. A kind hearted and God fearing man would not raise a finger on you whether you are dependent on him or not. If you settle for a beast, earn all the income in this world, you'd still be battered if you can not stand up for yourself and do what is proper without caring about what the society would say.

I won't preach independence alone cos I know independent women still get abused, I'd preach growing some b.allz and self esteem so as to know when to say 'I HAVE HAD ENOUGH'

By the way, I have not watched this video, but I don't think the number of women that spoke here are up to 30. Why do these men think their responses actually represent the general mentality of modern day nigerian women?

ileobatojo:


So where are you getting your 50 percent number from when the article you provided says 30%.

Also, where is the study itself? This article says a survey was the source. What kind of survey was it? What was the sample size? Were the randomly selected or did they go to the most promiscous, poverty stricken areas to sample from there? Was it representative of the population of the entire country? Was it peer reviewed? Abeg bring this survey itself let us peruse it so we can determine the credibility.

http://www.australianpaternityfraud.org/statistics.htm

dont like this but hey just providing facts...

coogar:

30% is the global statistic - it's 50% in nigeria





this is what peeves me about people like you - must statistics cover every human being to be credible? the DNA centre in lagos claimed 1 in 2 cases failed paternity test. is 1 in 2 not 50%? what level of social class in nigeria can afford the DNA test? the poverty stricken areas? you mean a country where majority live on less than $2 per day can afford paternity test of $300 on each child?

ileoba, go to bed....everytime you eat beans, you misyarn!

Ewoo! Coogar, so you be olodo like this Chei chei chei!!

Is it this statement you've been quoting all this while? Opari o!

Salami, who is also the Chief Medical Director, DNA Centre, Lagos, revealed that 50 per cent of the all paternity tests carried out in his laboratory came out negative

He said 50% of the tests in HIS lab are negative. HIS LAB!! Not all of Nigeria!!!

dayokanu:
There are some genuine reasons a woman/partner can stay at home, health, education, planning a family etc. But making a career out of staying at home (Which involves no income) is what I frown at.

1. What happens when the income bringing partner falls sick or die? Answer, God would never allow that
2. What happens when the income making partner lose the job? Answer: God would never allow that to happen
3. What happens when the income making partner gets bored of the marriage and wants out? Answer: God would never allow that to happen.

Being a stay at home, No income generating wife would be something I would never want my sisters, Wife or daughter to be

dem boku for port harcourt.....

dayokanu:

My view is probably skewed because I have always stayed around women who work as much as if not more than the men. From the "Alarobo" women who get on trucks to buy from interior villages and sell in the market, to the School teachers, to the Nurses, Accountants, etc The Multinational I worked at in Nigeria was almost 55-60% women.

My mom just retired last year at close to 60 and next thing she has already started another one. And everyday she always wake up to go and work for the past 36yrs of her life. She had kids who went to University, Had a husband and a family too

So I get pissed when I see young able bodied women who think nature has given them the anatomy to get fed for life. And in truth its the no income generating ones that have outrageous tastes. A woman who knows how hard it is to make $10 wont open her mouth to tell you "How much is $700 that you cant dash me".

If boys and girls are equally educated then they should both work to contribute to family and society except in those afore mentioned cases



Wake up, Husband goes to work and kids go to school by 8am, Wash 4-5 plates, Picks up phone gist with friend or visit other non working friends, Turns on TV to watch Nollywood, Eat, Sleep again. wake up by 4pm pick up kids back from school, Warm the food she prepared 2 days ago. And complain how hard it is to sit at home

U get am....

dayokanu:

My view is probably skewed because I have always stayed around women who work as much as if not more than the men. From the "Alarobo" women who get on trucks to buy from interior villages and sell in the market, to the School teachers, to the Nurses, Accountants, etc The Multinational I worked at in Nigeria was almost 55-60% women.

My mom just retired last year at close to 60 and next thing she has already started another one. And everyday she always wake up to go and work for the past 36yrs of her life. She had kids who went to University, Had a husband and a family too

So I get pissed when I see young able bodied women who think nature has given them the anatomy to get fed for life. And in truth its the no income generating ones that have outrageous tastes. A woman who knows how hard it is to make $10 wont open her mouth to tell you "How much is $700 that you cant dash me".

If boys and girls are equally educated then they should both work to contribute to family and society except in those afore mentioned cases



Wake up, Husband goes to work and kids go to school by 8am, Wash 4-5 plates, Picks up phone gist with friend or visit other non working friends, Turns on TV to watch Nollywood, Eat, Sleep again. wake up by 4pm pick up kids back from school, Warm the food she prepared 2 days ago. And complain how hard it is to sit at home

I modified the Brazilian hair comment to make it clear that even with an income, not all fads are necessarily a priority.

I think we are making progress with this conversation.

Don't forget that the decision should not be under duress for any one partner. Nobody wants to suffer financial insecurity. Life insurance policies do just that - insure against sudden occurrences that could bankrupt the ones left behind.

I'm glad you mention your Mom because my own mother woke up at 5.30 for decades and still does even though she's retired. But don't you agree that the hustle of their days is quite different from today's? Do you know what time the average career woman arrives home from work in Lagos? Patapata, if she lives on the island, she might not have to leave home till 730 but even on the island, most career women, unless they just returned after mat leave and get to close early, will not be home before 7pm at the earliest. Who's taking care of the kids during that time? The video games, house helps, drivers, etc that have the opportunity to abuse if they are perverted.

The reason you get pissed, as you said, is because you don't see value in the lifestyle.

Do you know how much in raw cash (salary, benefits, pensions) a woman forfeits when she stays home for the kids? For those of us who started over in a foreign land, learning to budget for the first time in our lives, do you know how hard it was to stay home?

Why do you think so many men support their wives staying home?

Lil at anatomy to get fed. I will tell you one thing I miss about staying home - time to work out before you get too tired. Contrary to popular opinion, no luxury to watch TV all day lol.


Yes, you can have an income to mitigate against one partner's job loss but you balance that against what you are giving up in terms of time to be there for your kids and you weigh the possibility/risk of actual job loss. Staying home is one of the biggest financial decisions ever and save for a few men that strike it rich at a young age, so many couples have to both work and save first.


Courtship and that I'm referring to is between 2 matured adults who see a possibility in marrying each other.

Btw, an Aristo's marriage is not a successful one.

Life of a stay home Mom-

I will have to come back to continue this, hope you will still oblige me. Have to attend to my kids now

Sadly you are right (bolded)

StateOfMind:

It goes to show women never win. If a lady pursues her career to a level where she would be extremely comfortable and decides to settle down at 30-32, these same men would ask her where and what she was up to when her mates were getting married. The inferior ones would see her as too rich and automatically label her as a non-wifey material.

Majority of the women around me are working their fingers to the bone to keep their families going. My colleagues, aunties, mum and her friends, neighbours, sisters, infact 95% of the women I know are working(both blue and white collar jobs)! In an average nigeria home of today, we all know JUST one income is not enough. I don't know why some men here are assuming all abused wives are not working and dependent on their husbands. You'd be surprised a good percentage of these working class babes still get abused and cheated on. Some earn more than their husbands and are still treated like shi.tt.

I have an aunt who earns two times more than her husband, and yet she gets physically abused by this beast she calls husband. He throws her out as he wishes at night and they both built the house together. There was a time the man packed out of the house for 4months to his mistress's house. This woman took full responsibility of her two kids and the household for that period, (like she has been doing actually). Man came back later and they went back to how they were. I was really mad at her and had to ask my mum what they were doing about her case. As far as I'm concerned, she can survive very well without this man but families, church and society are still keeping her in that hell called marriage.

In my own opinion, It all boils down to the kind of man you marry. A kind hearted and God fearing man would not raise a finger on you whether you are dependent on him or not. If you settle for a beast, earn all the income in this world, you'd still be battered if you can not stand up for yourself and do what is proper without caring about what the society would say.

I won't preach independence alone cos I know independent women still get abused, I'd preach growing some b.allz and self esteem so as to know when to say 'I HAVE HAD ENOUGH'

By the way, I have not watched this video, but I don't think the number of women that spoke here are up to 30. Why do these men think their responses actually represent the general mentality of modern day nigerian women?

biolabee:


http://www.australianpaternityfraud.org/statistics.htm

dont like this but hey just providing facts...

I'm talking of the Nigerian stats please. What's my concern with australia who by the way their stats say the rate is about 10-13% of paternity fraud. So how exactly do your facts help Coogar's 50% cause?

MMotimo: I will have to come back to continue this, hope you will still oblige me. Have to attend to my kids now

I dey gbadun your write ups.

but dont you think another thread would be ideal for this instead of derailing this one completely?

ileobatojo:
Ewoo! Coogar, so you be olodo like this Chei chei chei!! Is it this statement you've been quoting all this while? Opari o!

and this is because DNA labs are everywhere in nigeria, aren't they? if MMA provides a statistic about passengers in nigeria, you would also rule it out that it's not the whole nigeria - you are exhibiting the traits of a stark illiterate!

He said 50% of the tests in HIS lab are negative. HIS LAB!! Not all of Nigeria!!!

50% of the tests in his lab in the last 2 years are negative - that's a decent sample size. you have to be naive to think people won't travel from all corners of nigeria to do their paternity test in his lab.

you are grasping at straws again after being beaten!

@ coogar

Even if an Oyinbo came out with survey results like that for Naija women, I wouldn't believe it. We no get liver like that. Pretty sure the survey wasn't scientific.

@ileoba

It's gonna be a long night here for you and coogar.

@ State of mind, thank you for your post

When she is bored and tired of him or when he is an unrepentant cheat and liar. A woman died of AIDS contracted from her cheating husband and another one got pubic lice from her cheating husband. Many wives are dying in silence from deadly diseases passed on to them from their he-goat husbands. Don't wait and waste your life with such evil husbands. So divorce them before they kill you.

ileobatojo:

I'm talking of the Nigerian stats please. What's my concern with australia who by the way their stats say the rate is about 10-13% of paternity fraud. So how exactly do your facts help Coogar's 50% cause?

Interesting stats of the AABB

Parentage Testing Program Unit - 1999 study by the American Association of Blood Banks that found that in 30 percent of 280,000 blood tests performed to determine paternity, the man tested was not the biological father.

---

Jeanette Papp of the University of California at Los Angeles, California, U.S.A. feels that 15 per cent is rate of paternity fraud for the Western world, even if there is no hard evidence. "It's hard to do studies on these things for ethical reasons," says Dr. Papp, director of genotyping and sequencing in UCLA's department of human genetics. "I mean, how do you tell people what you're really looking for?"

---

Research show that 40% of women and 60% of men in a committed relationship will be unfaithful at some point.

They have statistics regarding paternity fraud. Note that the statistics were concerning men that suspected that they are not the father [size=28pt] and therefore sought testing.[/size]

The data was global and maybe 50 pc was exaggerated.. it still looks bad though

http://www.australianpaternityfraud.org/statistics.htm

MMotimo: @ coogar
Even if an Oyinbo came out with survey results like that for Naija women, I wouldn't believe it. We no get liver like that. Pretty sure the survey wasn't scientific.

dr salami's lab(DNA centre) is the largest provider of this service in the whole of lagos and the statistics are quite shocking - actually 8 out of 10 tests he's done turned out negative and 5 out of 10 firstborns were negative......there's no scientific guesstimation on this issue - these are the facts!

cheating is now a Norm in Nigeria
A man cheated on by his wife becomes emasculated,but when a man cheats on a woman, it becomes a norm (Tufiakwa)

I kept pulling out my hair listening to these women speak. millions of thought running through my mind
are they for real? I just don't get this. . . . it is unfathomable

dayokanu:


I dey gbadun your write ups.

but dont you think another thread would be ideal for this instead of derailing this one completely?

Ok, I will create a thread. So far, I'm not seeing the rabid misogynist I thought you were

abi o, you hardly find a home where a woman is not working in Nigeria, selling pepper is work too.
yet those women are still being abused and cheated on.
Nig males are from another planet. [/quote]
that is very unfair to men who dont bater their wives.

coogar:

and this is because DNA labs are everywhere in nigeria, aren't they? if MMA provides a statistic about passengers in nigeria, you would also rule it out that it's not the whole nigeria - you are exhibiting the traits of a stark illiterate!




50% of the tests in his lab in the last 2 years are negative - that's a decent sample size. you have to be naive to think people won't travel from all corners of nigeria to do their paternity test in his lab.

you are grasping at straws again after being beaten!

Quit embarrassing yourself. Hopefully this will be the last time you will go around spewing those ridiculously false, made up numbers of yours.

Please educate yourself. The people coming into his lab cannot be representative of the whole Nigeria for several reasons. First of all, said it yourself, only the rich will go there but what percentage of Nigeria's population are rich? Also the sampling from his lab is already skewed and biased because it is people that already suspect a problem that go there, of course there will be a high turnout of positive cases because there was already high suspicion. Therefore the numbers out of his lab can NEVER, EVER be used as a sample to represent all of Nigeria.


How ridiculous of you!


Wow, I still can't believe this is what you've been quoting up and down the place all this while!!!

Actually if the findings of the lab can be stored and looked at over a period say 2 to 5 years, that hypothesis can be representative or extrapolated to the population

Depends on the methodology and once assumptions are stated out

[quote author=coogar]

50% of the tests in his lab in the last 2 years are negative - that's a decent sample size. quote]

And by the way, you don't know his sample size so you don't know if it is decent or not. If in 2 years, he only had 100 people come in for DNA tests, how can that be a decent sample size?

Give it up. Your argument has been blown to smithereens.

biolabee:

Interesting stats of the AABB




The data was global and maybe 50 pc was exaggerated.. it still looks bad though

http://www.australianpaternityfraud.org/statistics.htm

Where does it say the data was global in what you quoted? The guy said he FEELS the rate in the WESTERN world is 15% though it is hard to prove and you feel this is global?



*using caps in place of the bold button due to glitches on this PC I'm on* I'm not intending to shout, just trying to highlight the important details.

biolabee: Actually if the findings of the lab can be stored and looked at over a period say 2 to 5 years, that hypothesis can be representative or extrapolated to the population

Depends on the methodology and once assumptions are stated out

No it cannot.

For the simple reasons mentioned in my previous post.

ileobatojo:

Where does it say the data was global in what you quoted? The guy said he FEELS the rate in the WESTERN world is 15% though it is hard to prove and you feel this is global?

no issue..

Parentage Testing Program Unit - 1999 study by the American Association of Blood Banks that found that in 30 percent of 280,000 blood tests performed to determine paternity, the man tested was not the biological father.

ileobatojo:

No it cannot.

For the simple reasons mentioned in my previous post.

Thats why its statistics
If he removes repeat persons and can show his customers represent the average demographics of married couples and their economic status... he has a point... the assumptions are the main thing

Yes people are poor in naija but if man needs to prove his son is his., hin go find that dough///

ileobatojo:
Quit embarrassing yourself. Hopefully this will be the last time you will go around spewing those ridiculously false, made up numbers of yours.

you are the one embarrassing yourself - i think you are naive or you have just lost touch with reality. whichever one it is, you are on a slippery slope!

Please educate yourself. The people coming into his lab cannot be representative of the whole Nigeria for several reasons. First of all, said it yourself, only the rich will go there but what percentage of Nigeria's population are rich? Also the sampling from his lab is already skewed and biased because it is people that already suspect a problem that go there, of course there will be a high turnout of positive cases because there was already high suspicion. Therefore the numbers out of his lab can NEVER, EVER be used as a sample to represent all of Nigeria.

ileobatojo displaying his ignorance without fervour!
the people going to the lab is the truest representative of nigeria - do you just type because you like the colour of your print.

the sampling from his lab is not skewed - many went there to do a DNA sampling to prove the paternity of the children they are taking abroad - some did because of inheritance issues and some did because they were suspicious!

whatever the case may be - the point still stands that nigerian women are unfaithful - if the bulk of dr salami's clients are middle-class, it then begs the question: why are these women unfaithful?

checkmate!!!

How ridiculous of you!
Wow, I still can't believe this is what you've been quoting up and down the place all this while!!!

you are plumbing new depths of idiocy here....
what are you talking about? what blew this case sky high was the dana air crash.

the morgues asked the next of kins of the crash victims to come forward and claim the bodies - they must come with the paternity test to prove they are related to the victims and negative results started popping off!

is this the case of prior suspicion of infidelity or ileobatojo is high on amphetamines as usual!!! give up and stop debating on what you are ignorant of!

And by the way, you don't know his sample size so you don't know if it is decent or not. If in 2 years, he only had 100 people come in for DNA tests, how can that be a decent sample size?

Give it up. Your argument has been blown to smithereens.

tsk tsk!
you ridicule yourself when you come up with lame stuff like this. DNA centre is the largest provider of this service in lagos state. educate yourself, go to google and check them out.

they do paternity tests for visa applicants on family settlement ish. if you know how many nigerian families travelling abroad in lagos then you would edit the asinine comment you typed up there......100 people in 2 years?

han han, even if you lack protein, your thought process shouldn't be this insipid!

I have died...

Anyhow I know ileoba can defend himself or herself

Ileobatojo nothing do you. Do your thing!

t goes to show women never win. If a lady pursues her career to a level where she would be extremely comfortable and decides to settle down at 30-32, these same men would ask her where and what she was up to when her mates were getting married. The inferior ones would see her as too rich and automatically label her as a non-wifey material.

Majority of the women around me are working their fingers to the bone to keep their families going. My colleagues, aunties, mum and her friends, neighbours, sisters, infact 95% of the women I know are working(both blue and white collar jobs)! In an average nigeria home of today, we all know JUST one income is not enough. I don't know why some men here are assuming all abused wives are not working and dependent on their husbands. You'd be surprised a good percentage of these working class babes still get abused and cheated on. Some earn more than their husbands and are still treated like shi.tt.

I have an aunt who earns two times more than her husband, and yet she gets physically abused by this beast she calls husband. He throws her out as he wishes at night and they both built the house together. There was a time the man packed out of the house for 4months to his mistress's house. This woman took full responsibility of her two kids and the household for that period, (like she has been doing actually). Man came back later and they went back to how they were. [b]I was really mad at her and had to ask my mum what they were doing about her case. As far as I'm concerned, she can survive very well without this man but families, church and society are still keeping her in that hell called marriage.

In my own opinion, It all boils down to the kind of man you marry. A kind hearted and God fearing man would not raise a finger on you whether you are dependent on him or not. If you settle for a beast, earn all the income in this world, you'd still be battered if you can not stand up for yourself and do what is proper without caring about what the society would say.

I won't preach independence alone cos I know independent women still get abused, I'd preach growing some b.allz and self esteem so as to know when to say 'I HAVE HAD ENOUGH'

By the way, I have not watched this video, but I don't think the number of women that spoke here are up to 30. Why do these men think their responses actually represent the general mentality of modern day nigerian women?[/b]

5000 likes

biolabee: I have died...
Anyhow I know ileoba can defend himself or herself

she can't defend squat - she's the only person that expects a sample size of 80 million to believe it represents the true nature of nigerian women - if it was the stat centred on nigerian men, she would swallow it line hook and sinker.....

she sees herself as a feminist, an mgbeke feminist!

coogar:

she can't defend squat - she's the only person that expects a sample size of 80 million to believe it represents the true nature of nigerian women - if it was the stat centred on nigerian men, she would swallow it line hook and sinker.....

she sees herself as a feminist, an mgbeke feminist!

Another one of them , are you not tired dear?