Edited

some will tell you go and some will say don't the truth is you have to search within yourself to weigh the pros and cons of your choice and be ready to live with your final decision.

if you marry her and move, will you truly be happy? will you have to start school over because depending on where your masters was from, you might have to take another course. Will you miss your family support? Do you want to marry her to move to America because you think you will get a job or do you truly love her etc

if you don't go will a job ever come? will you forever wonder what if? will you end up with a woman who you connect with as much as you connect with her? etc

you have to decide.

Raxxye: I need your advice, Nairalanders:
I am a Nigerian in my early thirties with a masters degree in one of the geo-science courses, but haven't been able to secure a job until now. I met this American lady online early last year, and we have been getting on pretty well. We have discussed marriage, and she is pushing it, but I am kinda scared of getting involved in marriage with her. She is a divorcee and a single mum. We have got really familiar though, and I think we are fairly compatible. She has introduced me to her parents, son and sibblings( I have met and talked with them on skype). I have also introduced her to one or two members of my family.
Normally, I would have preferred to stay here if I could get a befitting job, but since I haven't got one, I am considering going ahead with the marriage. She will come here if I invite her, and we would marry and I will then join her in US. What do u think, guys? Should I keep hoping for a job here or go ahead and marry her and leave the country? Most of my friends are actually advising me to go ahead with the marriage.
This is real and not a cooked-up story. Give your advice if you've got one. Thanks

If the woman in question doesn't mind being used to escape poverty until you are able to return home with cash/wealth...I don't see why you shouldn't marry her.

Good luck proving to immigration you are not a scammer.

Mrs.Chima:


If the woman in question doesn't mind being used to escape poverty until you are able to return home with cash/wealth...I don't see why you shouldn't marry her.

Good luck proving to immigration you are not a scammer.

Thank you, Mrs Chima, for your characteristic non-useful contribution!

Seconded

Mrs.Chima:


If the woman in question doesn't mind being used to escape poverty until you are able to return home with cash/wealth...I don't see why you shouldn't marry her.

Good luck proving to immigration you are not a scammer.

Hmmm. I smell a woman's desperation.

Goodluck OP. However, don't wait for a job...go make a job!

People marry for different reasons, escaping poverty is one, seeing yansh is another, others may want green card, it all depends.



If the op is unmarried, i dont necessarily see any reason why he cant marry and get his papers in the process. Is he in nigeria or overseas, didnt read the whole write up.

Unless there's more to the story.

25omega: some will tell you go and some will say don't the truth is you have to search within yourself to weigh the pros and cons of your choice and be ready to live with your final decision.
.

True.


If a woman doesnt meet your qualifications for marriage, its up to you if you'll go ahead or not.

Raxxye:

Thank you, Mrs Chima, for your characteristic non-useful contribution!

You are welcome and I hope my words haunt you for the rest of your natural life bia bia!

Guy I weep for you

So you are jobless and you still wanna put your head into marriage and then move to another country......

Okay I siddon dey look

if u love the US mama; then go ahead..

but if its cos of getting out of poverty... wat makes u feel that u will get a decent job over there?

also u can still get out of poverty via marriage in Naija; jst b a smart guy;

(1) there are many single good rich babes ( not aristos babes oo...) who are going from one pastor to bishop praying & fasting 100days for husband...; some work in very good companies like banks; Oil & gas; etc.

(2) There are alot of rich men daughters who are searching for true love & marriage; and if u can get one of them; boy!!! ur family poverty curse has ended for life.

but plz... hope u tooo re not a player nor scammer... if u re a very good man; with vision not lazy dude; most ladies know that these days the chances of a woman getting job is far brighter than that of her fellow man.

So, what exactly is your PURPOSE for going into the marriage?
Escaping poverty is not a reason for going into marriage, marriage goes far beyond that!
Focus well and keep searching for job, if the woman didn't come into your life when she came in, you would still survive, won't you? If you go into this marriage because of this your reason: I believe it's to leave the country and search for greener pastures, I can assure you that marriage is gonna crash pretty soon.

do what you have to do man.

Raxxye:

Thank you, Mrs Chima, for your characteristic non-useful contribution!

She's only saying it as it is, you better hear it. Your motives are quite clear. Your friends advised you to marry the woman, they know you. And you know yourself! If you can't make it here, that woman might just be your ticket to a better life (financially). But don't kid yourself, there will be consequences. Clearly you aren't contemplating marrying this divorcee because you're head over heels in love.

Raggedy_Ann:

She's only saying it as it is, you better hear it. Your motives are quite clear. Your friends advised you to marry the woman, they know you. And you know yourself! If you can't make it here, that woman might just be your ticket to a better life (financially). But don't kid yourself, there will be consequences. Clearly you aren't contemplating marrying this divorcee because you're head over heels in love.

If I told everyone what they want to hear....I would be the most liked chatter on NL....I am not fake and can't pretend just to have chat friends.

What you said was real and much respect to you.