bee444: You don't start a cover letter with "I hereby apply", and you don't need to put the "APPLICATION FOR THE POSITION..." stuff. What happened to "with reference to your advertisement on... or simple say "Referring to the job ad posted in the Daily Times..."

There's nothing like "Communications skills" but there is communication skills.Your conjunction is awful and your use of grammar is pathetic. What is "pleasant accommodating manner?" ..."skills to be considered". Considered for what? You have to be precise and at the same time elaborate. It is post-graduation and not post graduation.

The paragraph where you said you were a fast learner is too poisonous. What further discussions do you want to have? State why you would want the discussion. why not say " I would be pleased or it would be an honor to discuss this position with you in person". What is "my other knowledge?" I don't get it. Other knowledge are meant to be your qualifications (not school related).

You started a paragraph with "I have worked in the same University"..total rubbish! What same University are we talking about here?

I can not analyse all the paragraphs one after the other, but I must say you need more coaching in your use of English.

Why say "Thank you?" You don't!!! "Yours faithfully" is archaic and should be replaced with just "Sincerely"

Above all, and to be generous, I'll score you 4/10.

ROSYL: Childish!

InvertedHammer:


Is this a Cover letter or a Resume'/CV?

You can modify your approach and leave out all these "As a creative..","As you can see"," As a fast learner".
--Check your spellings.
--Check your grammar.
--Know when to use capital letters.

I will assume that this is a rough draft. A lot of students will learn from this b/c I have seen terrible
cover letters and CVs in Nigeria.

The letter is too long

Malubi: Just make sure the later is short and snapy because HR Officers may not have time to read a lengthy laters. Thanks

Kx: A quick one:
An interviewer once told me "as u can see" is an indirect insult to the interviewer and does not sound professional.
Edit that aspect.

jideaffo: Somebody should please answer my question as regards sending a cover letter in MS word format OR typing it in the yahoomail message box. Thanks

Martowskin: @OP u didn't do anywork on ur own, u ar just askin 4 help dis is d link u copied it from.


http://www.dailynigerianjobs.com/career-resources/sample-cover-letter-5

sure way: I'll suggest you make your research well to know the name of the c/o...instead of saying dear madam/sir..
it can be e.g dear mr Arikuyeri James,

1forall:

But the OP simply asked for help?

movado19: @ Donpere, Below is what I came up with. I hope it helps.





The Human Resources Manager,

Access Bank Plc,

Bank address?
…………………………

Lagos,

Nigeria




Dear Sir/Madam,



APPLICATION FOR GRADUATE TRAINEE(Make it centered)



(Paragraph)I am applying for the Graduate Trainee position in your organization in response to your advertisement on the 6th May, 2013.

(Paragraph)My name is …………………, a graduate of The Ambrose Ali University, Ekpoma with a Bachelors degree in Accounting and Management.
I am positively driven and dedicated to my assigned duties, such as when I became the treasurer of the Management Science Association of Nigeria, (MASSAN). I brought along my energetic outlook to individual and collective issues and looked for long - term remedies to solve them with excellent communications skills as well as my Accounting knowledge. I quickly earned a reputation as a conscientious professional with an excellent synergy of research and IT skills to source for funds and balance the accounts.

(Paragraph)After graduation, I worked briefly as a contract staff with Polaris Deglitch, Land Surveyors & GIS consultants as a systems operator; learned rapidly on the job, where I applied my knowledge of Arc Maps, Oracle 11g data base, Linus OS, and the Microsoft Suite.


(Paragraph)I am confident that my skills and expertise in Management, IT, Accounting and inter personal relationships will bring growth and development to your company should I be hired.

I look forward to speaking with you and being a member of your company, soon.

Attached is my resume/CV for your perusal.



Yours Sincerely,

……………………………………

RTFM: OP, I am not convinced by your technical knowledge, What is LINUS OS ??

yorke:

You are the one who is being childlish here. You need to grow up kid.

Ochek:

You no sabi read ni? The OP said make you help REVIEW him cover letter

obi123:


did you really need to say childish when you clearly had the intention of helping the person out ? it wasn't necessary

babarazy: you are suffering from the malady of the gravest species.

dulphines:

You also forgot to use punctuation mark in your last statement. "The letter is too long"

slimmy05: that's quite immature of you, it doesn't need such a silly coment. You would have just posted a better sample for him and that's all. Well OP your cover letter aint that bad. And point of correction, its a graduate trainee position, doesn't need much experience. Just don't stretch much on your qualification as its already in your CV, you could talk more on your achievements and how fit you're for that role, prolly stating your objectives, achievement and goals, work experience (that would show traits of success when exployed) etc. This is my little contribution

ROSYL:
Kindly check the above corrections.Sorry I cldnt do more, I'm not feeling well.
YEvery cover letter you write should be customized for the job you are applying for, clear and concise, grammatically correct, and error-free. in other words, u cant use one cover letter for all your job applications.