Les: Those calling it slow, nawa 4una o, it's more of being insensitive and unenlightened about marriage than stupid, for c.o.L, D dude is bloody hardworking!

yellowpawpaw:
Why did u say it won't work? Untill he cs what he has been dreaming of b4 I can take action? My hubby that's supposed to call d guy to order is wasting time.maybe d bro is used to seein his bro na*ked but I'm not d bro.so I need to respect myself.
While waiting for my hubby to do something,I will call a carpenter to come and fix a jamlock for me. That kind of person might ra*pe u one day cos I don't think he is ok

Les:

Well, d only way to stop it is for u to assume d role of a wife and show me d unlike button, try talking it out with him and pray he is d understanding type. Those calling it slow, nawa 4una o, it's more of being insensitive and unenlightened about marriage than stupid, for c.o.L, D dude is bloody hardworking!

jidegirl12: Interesting now he's bipolar.... plead guilty on sanity ground

that works

clonazepam 2 x1mg / PRN (when needed i.e barges in the room)

chaircover: What is the brother doing now that he wasn't doing before April? and what did you try to do about it before April?

You have told your hubby to do something about his brother. my question is why is this rude behavior only affecting you but your husband seems comfortable with it all? where were the boundaries to start with? Your husband is the senior brother and why hadnt he called his brother to check much earlier than this?

I agree that your brother in laws attitude is a nuisance and annoying but somehow he has gotten used to this behaviour, it is not going to suddenly stop and it will take time and wisdom. Not everything has to be done by force Always try the peaceful and well thouht out option first if you can. Start by telling him that if he keeps on barging into your room, he will stumble upon you nakeed one day and that wont be nice at all

As for the clothes washing, he should stop washing your husbands clothes. your husbands car i can understand, but clothes are personal and it is one of those personal special touches that a wife does for her husband. Your husbands immaculate appearance should be down to you and it should make you feel good that you are the reason why he is looking co cool.

in short apply wisdom to tackle this so you dont end up in a long war that you may or may not end up winning depending om your husbands real stand in all this. Boundaries were not in place from the start and where there are no laws there are no crimes so the ball is back in your husbands court.

yellowpawpaw:
U r funny,very funny

ileobatojo:

I suppose it's possible that he's also being deliberately wicked and disrespectful but this is an odd way to go about that.

greatgod2012:


this is exactly what is happening, probably, because hes older than the wife(OP) and that is why she (op) has to calmly and firmly confront him, yes, she has to, she has taken in enough BS from him

jidegirl12: No Offence oh and it's sincere with no sentiment atall just curious ...

For the 'she allowed it during courtship team' ( in context of this situation discussed on NL lately) ..... Abeg let me ask few questions oh...

Is it NOW a Mandatory criterion for the lower class in Nigeria to have a rented property ( room & parlour at least) before getting married even if you can't afford it ??

In order words you Must be able to Afford live on your own before you can have a wife and have kids?? Or else kids out of wedlock will be the next available option??

Even if the family house with at least 2 bedroom is there and available at least to start with??

ileobatojo:

If that's really what he's doing and she believes he is doing this deliberately to disrespect her because he is older than her, then what is she being calm for? She is welcome to unleash her anger as far as I'm concerned. A man is deliberately and knowingly barging in and out of my room as a woman and I need to be calm? Firm and calm confrontation is what she should do if she believes he is slow. I never said she shouldn't confront him if he is slow, I said she shouldn't get unnecessarily angry (and try to understand that it is because of his condition), but she must still confront him no matter the reason. Please read my first post.

greatgod2012:


no, i got you, im only adrressing those who said she has to tolerate him more or why is she complaining now,blah,blah, as for you, we are on the same level in this thread, you know, "suuru ko ni ki oro ma di ijongbon", hope you get me now, im aint referring to you, i was referring your post for others to see what is really happening in op's home.
Thanks.

biolabee: funny topic.. so there is support for the man to be washing his brothers clothes but they should leave it outside the room so he does not come in

maybe this brother also lays the bed

what is the woman doing in tall these.. what is ur role... akebaje ehennn?

Maybe na this guy dey wash the OP clothes sef

what do they call them again,... alabodo haahhaah

yellowpawpaw: Maybe u guys need to change d lock. Something like jamlock will do. But make sure u always hv spare with u. Once u enter,end of story unless u want to open. He will get it.
I don't think there is nothing wrong with him washin his bro clothes.unless he does it grudgingly or he is a busy person and u r less busy.
U gat to study him very well to know his kind of person.once u can understand him,u 2 can flow very well.with time he will understand that his bro is married and give u space and ur required respect.
Don't rush him pls.u 2 can become best of pals even ur hubby will envy.
All d best

Ujujoan: So because he washes her husband's clothes he has earned the right to behave like a barbarian

I wonder when Nigerians will stop with all these 'it's-my-brother's-house' mentality.

The wife is being provoked and God forbid she reacts like a normal human being and lashes out in anger . . .

Nigerians sha . . . we are the very cause of our own problems!

slimyem: The idea of jam lock doesn't make sense at all. Even if their door is left ajar,he should have no business there unless he is invited in or sent to get something in there.
The best remains that she registers her discomfort by confronting him as soon as possible.

greatgod2012: Am i the only one who thinks differently on this, and i believe this type of indulgence is why mediocrity will continue to wax stronger and stronger in this part of the world. Haba!, a full grown-up man behaving childishly, even, some children know when to respect one's privacy and marriage. The guy is simply st.up.id, how on earth can a full grown up man just enter a couple's room without knocking or banging the door on a couple when the door is locked, even, if hes both their parents and hes the one feeding them, courtesy demands that he gives them their deserved respect. And why do i feel that, hes intentionally doing it to frustrate either or both of the couple wickedly.
Well, as for me, i wont condone it, i wont even tell hubby about it and im certain that it will only happen one time, yes, i mean it just once, there wont be a repetition of such st.upi. dity if im the one involved. "ijo ti a ba ribi ni ibi nwole"
"Nkan ti eeyan o ba ni gba ni olowo, talaka la tii nkoo".
@op, its never too late, face your fear once and conquer it forever. How? Call him"brother so...so), "i want to see you, i dont like the way you just enter our room without knocking, you have to realise that im a married woman and your brother is a married man, we are both legally married and we have the right to anything that may be happening indoor, without apology to anyone, and distubance from anyone, you inclusive, so, give us our deserved respect in order to have your own respect intact. Action and reaction and always equal and opposite. A word is enough"
when your hubby comes from work, tell him what you told his brother and how you told him(if possible, record you converation with you BIL and play it to your hubby when he comes back)
Approach him with all humility and do not raise your voice at him except he reacts otherwise. If hes an honourable and respectful man, he will apologise and refrain from such action. If hes not, then he need to learn it the embarrassing way, by asking him to go out the next time he tries that.
Meanwhile, you have your roles to play, if you still want him to be washing yur hubby's clothes, get a laundry basket and put it in the passage/verander, therein, you pack your hubby's clothes and therein he picks them up, and when hes thru with ironing. Tell him, to leave them in the sitting room, that you will pack them inside from there, or betterstill, get another person to do the laundry and pay for it.
Wishing you goodluck and blissful marriage.