jennykadry: Honestly I will correct his brain by slamming the door on his forehead.

Firstimer: My hubby's imm younger bro lives wit him. Smtyms he sleeps in his own room or wit my hubby.
Now i n hubby married in april.
His brother wil jus open our room, enta without knockin n takes wat he pleases.
I find dis disrespectful. Even doh he's much much older dan i am. But i xpect dat he givs me or our marriage dat respect.
If i and my hubby ar in d room he bangs at d door if lockd or entas freely if not.
I even had 2 move most of those tins he coms in 2 tak outside d room. But he'l always find smtin.(he washes my hubby clothes. So he picks dem wen he likes, iron n returns dem)
If i wash my undies n dry in our bathrm, he sees dem n am embarrased. I cant dres half naked in my own room. Av complained 2 my hubby. He sed he'l handle it in a way dat no nerves wil b frayed since d guy is jus so used 2 comin 2 d room.
Am tryin my best 2 kip my anger within.
Pls advice me on wat 2 do.

slimyem:

chaircover: LOL baby . My husbands clothes need to be supervised by me. Washing machine, washerman, handwash anything. The poster herself mentioned that the clothes washing could be one of the reasons why BIL thinks that he owns the world. Remove the oxygen and the fire dies out. If its too much work for her to do personally they should invest in a washing machine or employ a washerman. In short She should be in control of her husbands outfits.

We are all in support that couples should have their privacy so eventually when this man goes, who will wash his clothes. . . .still down to the wife at the end of the day.

Maybe Im du la ley but I take great pride in my husbands appearance, picking out his clothes, sewing Naija outfits for him and so on and when ironing became a chore I got someone to iron our clothes. Its all still under my domain and supervision. Most of his native wears I wash by hand. If he is there, he joins me in the bathroom if not I do it myself. Sometimes he washes them himself too. So even though I live in England I still hand wash because its not everything that you can put in the washing machine.

jennykadry: Honestly I will correct his brain by slamming the door on his forehead.

nikkykay:
Thank you.
Wot does she feel like when d BIL is doing d washing? Madam
When the BIL enters d room uninvited? He feels like a king
Do u know maybe the BIL has complained to his wife about ds washing of clothes and husby is still trying to discuss ds with the wife? Maybe that's y ur husband is not taking d issue serious.
Poster, please get a washer if u cant afford a washing machine now to do d washing for you.
I dont know if u r working or not and i dnt care about ur tribe as well
But from where i come from, it is a sign of disrespect for your BIL dat is older dat you even if its just a day older, to be running errands in his brother's house when dre is a legal wife. U even confirmed dat he is older dan u! so what happens to RESPECT? Am sure they tot u @ home to also respect ur elders d same way they tot u to respect pple's privacy.
If d guy is ur house help, dats a diff case but ur BIL is a No-No thing to do.
You are a new bride to dont create unnecessary enmity for urself at this early stage of ur marriage. Dnt let him report you to the family and u shld know some will back him if not majority.
That guy is not happy with you so you have to be careful d way you approach him.
He is ready to burst if u dnt handle d situation with caution.
You assume dat he is not living in dat house. Begin to do wot he's doing.
Treat him with respect and he will respect you!
Take care and wish you d best
I think you are doing somethings he is not comfortable with and he is looking for a way to hurt you.

Firstimer:
It realy pisses me off y he shudnt undastand dat his bro is married now. I mean i dnt enta his room in his absence or witout knockin. In my house, we wer tot 2 respect ppls privacy.
For instance, Wen i n my hubby ar tryin 2b intimate at nite or early in d morning, he bangs on d door(smtyms askin unecesary questions) n it jus puts me off d mood.
Rly dnt no ow long am goin 2 endure dis

babyosisi:

Chineke mee
I didn't see this part
You are a nice woman o

And what did your husband do
Even a crying baby can make a risen manhood fall talk less of an angry bang on the door
I am shocked your husband is allowing this to continue
This BIL knows exactly what his aim is,you know,we all know,why is your husband allowing his brother do this?

Still follow the plan A I advised and if this continues you may have to throw in a little area girl if this scenario continues
When he knocks here ,you call out his name from the bed like so

E he brother Hyacinth
Do you want to come and join us on the bed
Oya come in let me shift for you

Your hubby will try to pacify you in low tones you must refuse to be pacified

You continue with voice rising higher

No darling leave me alone,enough is enough
Let me go and open door for him let him come
Then you get up with wrapper across your chest and go and open that door and scream out

Bro Hyacinth where are you?
Every morning and night you won't allow us some privacy,come into this bed now and let us settle it today

Just go totally off ,I mean off and unleash all the totaled anger that day

After that day,I promise you,he will never come near your bedroom
Infact he may pack out that week

jennykadry: Osisi, my husband is reading your comment with me the poor man was wondering what was making me laugh out so loud

tchidi: *jotting down points from Babyosisi and jennykadry*

aysometin: That boy or man or whatever he is called is doing this delibrately. I mean who goes to knock early in the morning or late at night when the newly weds shopuld be doing what is expected of them.
Sounds like a jealous girlfriend trying to do everything to prevent a new couple from enjoying themselves.

I am sick to my stomach. Madam you have to take action yourself, trust me your husband may not see any big deal with this. (typical of men)

Deal with him and he must continue washing your hubby's clothes including yours sef, *hiss*

jennykadry: Oh I remember the first few months of my marriage......."sighs and blushes" ........... If only these kids know the way(position) they were conceived, I will be dis-mothered. oh the privacy ........

babyosisi:

Absolute rubbish!

nikkykay:
Whatever
I have noticed women here!
Whenever the issues are against us, we are always quick to judge.
I wonder if we think of what could be happening to the other party be4 we write posts or make any contributions.
Be 4 we pass judgement, lets always try to look @ it from the other angle.
We have seen poster as a saint due to the way she presented her case.
I am not in support of wot the BIL is doing but lets always tell ourselves the truth.
We should try to imagine d reason why d husband is not even seeing anything wrong in wot his brother is doing.

greatgod2012: Am i the only one who thinks differently on this, and i believe this type of indulgence is why mediocrity will continue to wax stronger and stronger in this part of the world. Haba!, a full grown-up man behaving childishly, even, some children know when to respect one's privacy and marriage. The guy is simply st.up.id, how on earth can a full grown up man just enter a couple's room without knocking or banging the door on a couple when the door is locked, even, if hes both their parents and hes the one feeding them, courtesy demands that he gives them their deserved respect. And why do i feel that, hes intentionally doing it to frustrate either or both of the couple wickedly.
Well, as for me, i wont condone it, i wont even tell hubby about it and im certain that it will only happen one time, yes, i mean it just once, there wont be a repetition of such st.upi. dity if im the one involved. "ijo ti a ba ribi ni ibi nwole"
"Nkan ti eeyan o ba ni gba ni olowo, talaka la tii nkoo".
@op, its never too late, face your fear once and conquer it forever. How? Call him"brother so...so), "i want to see you, i dont like the way you just enter our room without knocking, you have to realise that im a married woman and your brother is a married man, we are both legally married and we have the right to anything that may be happening indoor, without apology to anyone, and distubance from anyone, you inclusive, so, give us our deserved respect in order to have your own respect intact. Action and reaction and always equal and opposite. A word is enough"
when your hubby comes from work, tell him what you told his brother and how you told him(if possible, record you converation with you BIL and play it to your hubby when he comes back)
Approach him with all humility and do not raise your voice at him except he reacts otherwise. If hes an honourable and respectful man, he will apologise and refrain from such action. If hes not, then he need to learn it the embarrassing way, by asking him to go out the next time he tries that.
Meanwhile, you have your roles to play, if you still want him to be washing yur hubby's clothes, get a laundry basket and put it in the passage/verander, therein, you pack your hubby's clothes and therein he picks them up, and when hes thru with ironing. Tell him, to leave them in the sitting room, that you will pack them inside from there, or betterstill, get another person to do the laundry and pay for it.
Wishing you goodluck and blissful marriage.

jidegirl12: Nikkykay , not again!! We will never be on the same page never!!!

Okay lets say the woman is even a bad kpatapata woman without redemption....STILL it doesn't excuse the knucklehead BIL to barge into her personal space .... enough excuses for bad behaviour,

I've said my own, he completely realized what he's doing but ignored the fact that he's hurting somebody else's feeling and playing possum hence doesn't care.

Call him and spell it out to him face to face, if he persist then go to plan B

babyosisi:

What business does a guest in a home have with the couple's bedroom let alone at odd times
That is the core subject here
Are you responding to this situation or answering to another thread entirely
Do you go to people's home and bang on their bedroom doors or walk in at will

This man has absolutely no business in their bedroom
If this is what happens in your home and u are ok with it fine for you
This wife here doesn't like it and wants it to seize and 99% of the responders agree
Who are you to tell her how to behave and what she should tolerate in her own home
She came here with a specific problem,if you don't have any answers to her dilemma,why don't you move on to another thread rather than making up scenarios and preferring solutions to them.
Scenarios totally unconnected to the situation.
Nonsense

chaircover:
What is the brother doing now that he wasn't doing before April? and what did you try to do about it before April?

You have told your hubby to do something about his brother. my question is why is this rude behavior only affecting you but your husband seems comfortable with it all? where were the boundaries to start with? Your husband is the senior brother and why hadnt he called his brother to check much earlier than this?

I agree that your brother in laws attitude is a nuisance and annoying but somehow he has gotten used to this behaviour, it is not going to suddenly stop and it will take time and wisdom. Not everything has to be done by force Always try the peaceful and well thouht out option first if you can. Start by telling him that if he keeps on barging into your room, he will stumble upon you nakeed one day and that wont be nice at all

As for the clothes washing, he should stop washing your husbands clothes. your husbands car i can understand, but clothes are personal and it is one of those personal special touches that a wife does for her husband. Your husbands immaculate appearance should be down to you and it should make you feel good that you are the reason why he is looking co cool.

in short apply wisdom to tackle this so you dont end up in a long war that you may or may not end up winning depending om your husbands real stand in all this. Boundaries were not in place from the start and where there are no laws there are no crimes so the ball is back in your husbands court.

tasandra: What a brainless thin,that guy is or e wan see hw una dey take do am Op,tell ur hubby hw pissed u ar abt his brodas,attitude..