American Women That Marry Nigerian Men - Culture (12) - Nairaland
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| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Nobody: 7:03am On May 01, 2010 |
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| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by gangstaboo(f): 11:05pm On May 01, 2010 |
I disagree with your friends! I'm an American women (black), I am not married to a Nigerian man but am dating one. I find him to be kind, caring, hard working, and sweet. If not a little TOO protective, but I think that's common in alot of men. I love Nigerian men!!! |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by queeneve: 7:08am On May 07, 2010 |
There are many Africans who are doing that and not just Nigerians. I believe that THERE ARE SOME GOOD AFRICANS who marry these women out of Love and if you come from TRADITIONAL AFRICAN family, you will not disgrace your family and divorce is a disgrace in some AFRICAN FAMILIES. Men, who start a family are planning on staying with the woman they married or otherwise they would not have children with a woman they have no intention on staying with. I find Nigeria culture amazing, but then again who am I? My fiance is Nigerian in every sense of the way and pursue me for a long time. I finally gave in cos it was time, SIGHS, Karma have a way of coming back around and biting harder than a chew, BE CAREFUL! |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by queeneve: 7:13am On May 07, 2010 |
Oooooh yes lawd, my fiance is protective and a bit demanding, but I understand him. He always asking me let me know if my African's ways getting to you, I told him when I give him a dead eye be warned. I haven't gave him the dead eye, YET! HE DOING GOOD, and he so accommodating and spoils me rotten! Sighs! I am trying to not let the spoiling get over my head, hey I am human! He always make sure when we go to bed we go to bed on happy terms and I love him for that. I never went to bed upset yet! |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by queeneve: 7:25am On May 07, 2010 |
So harsh, so cruel, He could truly love her and the age is a lil bit uhmm but anyway, He could possibly love you and just cos he doesn't ask for money don't mean he is genuine then again, FOR YOUR SAKE, I HOPE HE IS you sound like you loooove this man! |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by DaRapture: 8:20pm On May 13, 2010 |
AA women who date and or are stupid enough to marry a Nigerian guy are damn fools with a capital F, and deserve what they get. I'm tired of hearing all these trifling failure stories about their careless Nigerian/African exes, like I give a shit.  1 Like |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by queeneve: 7:39pm On May 14, 2010 |
Well, I am a damn fool cos I am marrying my NIGERIAN FIANCE! We might name our boy after you, HATER! |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by DaRapture: 7:20am On May 26, 2010 |
queeneve: Humm, let me guess, he's different, he's a nice guy, he loves you. LOL! Yeah, I've heard it all, just weeks, months or a couple of years, before hearing every negative comment you can immaginon spewed out of the same mouths about those same African guys, after they left these stupid girls upon gettin their papers or whatever else they USE you foolish AKATA girls and your equally foolish white counterparts for on the low before kicking you to the curb like some field winch, back on the plantation used up for their "massas" pleasure. Anyway, good luck on your relationship, I'm just giving you a heads up. 1 Like |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by CHARLOE(m): 11:51pm On Jun 05, 2010 |
Wow, this is a very interesting thread and it's an irony that while fiancees/wifes of naija men love and have nice things to say bout us, our naija sistas are all over the place pulling their brothers down! Ur claim u're watching 'a fellow woman's back' is only half d truth. D other half is U'R PLAIN JEALOUS of these lucky ladies enjoying their relationships with naija men! I'm sure most of u are SSS single & still searching Haba, not even a single good word about ur naija bros, una wiked! by: DaRapture Insert Quote AA women who date and or are silly enough to marry a Nigerian guy are damn fools with a capital F, and deserve what they get. I'm tired of hearing all these trifling failure stories about their careless Nigerian/African exes, like I give a poo. Cheesy I think u're d FOOL here to assume all naija guys wanting to maryy AA women are out for papers. Have u imagined in that little brain of urs he might have his papers already? Or didn't u read some of them say they're happily married to naija men? Read a post by a white lady where she says they had a registry wedding in lagos cos they didn't have enough cash and they've bin married for like 2 yrs (shows they're happy). Next thing 1 mrs 'know it all' was saying rubbish that naija guys don't do reg marriage but elaborate church weddings. What's wrong with a reg wedding? It's because of ladies like u (forgotten ur name) that most naija guys don't marry on time, cos they want to meet up with ur elaborate wedding demands, silly girls! I just luv d posts by those AA women happily married to naija guys, i wish u all d best things in ur marriages. Naija guys are hard working and will always fend for their families. To all AA ladies, black or white interested in/dating naija guys, enjoy ur relationships, take d words of advise here as a guide, don't let my sistas here scare u away from that luvly relationship. If u've concrete evidence it's not 4 real, feel free to call it off, else work it out with ur man, nobody's perfect. There're desperate men of diff nationalities looking 4 green card, not just nigerians. Even d average nigerian looking 4 green card is hardworking and may luv u 4 real  .To my sistas in da house, una own too much, wetin? we all know there're some bad eggs around but must u make it look worse than it actually is? As if u pple are perfect. naija girls are materialistic; u make ur man pay 4 everything, even gift on his bday, spend so much on u b4 u agree to date him, spends on u & ur famiy after marriage ignoring his own pple, d list is endless Make una no let me open  |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by CHARLOE(m): 12:16am On Jun 06, 2010 |
@ queeneve, gangstaboo and co, thumbs up and congrats on ur wonderful relationships. Most nigerian men that marry foreigners do that cos of their (d ladies) simplicity and straight forward approach. AA ladies know what they want and go for it and rarely luv for money. On d other hand, When a naija babe says NO she may just mean YES and vice-versa. Most are always after money and would rather marry a rich chimp or be his 3rd wife than marry a young hard-working, up-coming man with potentials. They luv big society weddings, not minding d fact d poor guys may not be able to afford it (some guys actually go to d extent of borrowing just to get married). No naija babe want a low-key court wedding, it must be loud cos they want to pose for their friends, always putting pressure on d man. Change ur attitude and more of u will graduate from ur spinsterhood class else u become old maids hating on AA babes 'snatching' ur men! cos that's d root of d matter  1 Like |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by makingsoft: 7:30pm On Jun 07, 2010 |
I am a southern american woman whom has recently met and became quite fond of a Nigerian man. All races/cultures do things in deceit to get what they want. I have not found truth to the opinion of Nigerian men being sexually selfish or otherwise. I have found that he is truly interested in what I say and what I want/need. I do not believe that this hard to please male this woman/women associated with is a product of the country but a product of his raising and not facilitated in one country but internationally. On to another topic, I am very interested and intrigued by pidgin english and learning more to surprise my male friend. Are there any good educational sites  ?Thank you, Tab |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by reeree75: 6:04am On Jul 17, 2010 |
I am married to a Nigerian man and I am a southern american girl. I love my husband but I am beginning to think he married me to become a citizen and that really hurts. Just like most of the people on this form, I was happily married. I thought I had the best husband. A christian who knows the word and loves the lord. We got along well he is IBO and very traditional I understood that and learn the culture. The food, I traveled to nigeria as often as possible. I loved the culture because it reminded me of North Carolina were I am from. I love Nigerian movies, I cook the food and love it. I dance. When I even learn some of the language. I did all this for the love of my husband. Even his sending money home, many travels. In fact the main reason we can not get a head here in the US is because of his my travel and business explots back home. All promising BIG money and then nothing. I never put down his culture but embraced all. But after many years of him denying he even wanted to become a citizen oneday I found out he had applied and completed without me even knowing it until the end. He even went to be naturlized without me. I was so soso hurt after 7 years of marriage. Now, he has basically moved down to Nigera no warning, just quite his job for the latest contract. I have since found out about women, so many women, About 2yrs ago he stop touching me, no sex unless i begged and pleaded. I have never cheated on my husband despite his trying to prove and say I have with people in the church. ( A church that embraced him loved him and even made him Prayer leader) he has so much respect by everyone. I have never tried to tarnish his name. But i am hurt. In the past I would be the 1st to say on one of these boards no you are wrong. Nigerian men are great, lovers, fathers, husbands. Until now, I try not to say all of any race/culture but I am begining to see more and more IBO wives say the same thing. Tell me how can a man stay away from his wife 6mths and not desire her I am not ugly or fat, I am beautiful and I love life, and love the lord, but somehow the love of my life left me empty here in the US. so now agree with Nigerian men are hard, no sensitivity, no love (only for themselves) heartless.living sad in VA ReeRee 2 Likes |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by rabzy: 8:45am On Jul 20, 2010 |
reeree75: The above story is so sad and its a shame men behave this way. The problem is that a lot of people from Africa travel abroad for economic reasons and a determination to get it or die trying. Many have risked their lives to attain it, so abandoning their families might not be hard for them to do. As a Christian, you would remember what the bible says in 1st Tim 6:9 ' However, those who are determined to be rich fall into temptation and a snare and many senseless and hurtful desires, which plunge men into destruction and ruin. 10 For the love of money is a root of all sorts of injurious things, and by reaching out for this love some have been led astray from the faith and have stabbed themselves all over with many pains.' Well, you should know also that back here in Nigeria as elsewhere in the world, a lot of men and less often women also abandon their families for other women and drive out their former wife and kids, So its just the debased nature of humans manifesting in different ways, May God give you the strength to forge ahead. |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by gowaga68: 9:05pm On Aug 26, 2010 |
some good stories and some are bad . Am Happy for the good ones and as for the sad one i feel sad for you too  1 Like |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Tosinville(m): 3:30pm On Aug 28, 2010 |
(@¿@) |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by kim24: 6:42am On Oct 01, 2010 |
I am an american(white) woman. I met an Nigerian man online. we have talked and emailed for sometime. we have realized we do truly love each other. I was wishing to ask a few questions. First, he seems so different from the onesI have dated(american) white men. Wemet by accident, I was sad one night and he became a good friend. He was too cute,asking questions like a youngboy.His nature and manner draw me. Okay for the question. Because of past experience with american whitemen, I know he is wanting citizenship, but can someone please tell me Are Nigerian men mostly true to what they say??He tries to save money and only text, but says he needs to hear my voice, his words and voice are so sweet. I told him,YesI want to be happy, and love forever. I am attending school, but if he comes here, I will quit to find a job so we can live. question how hard is it to gain citizenship for him?? I told him once he comes here,he isalways welcome.But If he doesnt get citizenship does he have to leave??what can I do to help him, ?I am sorry I am so unaware, i do research all words and stuff to understand him, but there is so much to learn, I hope for an answer, we both say it is in God's hands now?? thanks for any answer of help thanks |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Hauwa1: 2:46pm On Oct 01, 2010 |
Kimberly, no let fire burn you o. be careful sister. |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by DaRapture: 9:53pm On Oct 05, 2010 |
reeree75: See, this is what I'm talking about. This is the norm, while a relationship like this in which actually works out well is the abnorm. You women will be better off hooking up with a Caribbean guy if you do not want to stick with us (your own AA guys). |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by DaRapture: 9:54pm On Oct 05, 2010 |
*Hauwa*: Hauwa, are you light or dark complexioned? I think I might know you from somewhere. |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by redgalusa(f): 6:47pm On Oct 13, 2010 |
If I possessed good sense, I would have listened to good advice. However, I failed to heed the warnings. When I became 5 months pregnant my loving Nigerian man began to cheat and stay away from home. He cheated blatantly, as I found photos of half naked women, condoms, and text messages. I did not work while I was pregnant. He paid all the bills and supplied me with money. Leaving me at his mercy and he took advantage of it. He verbally and physically abused me daily. When I asked him about the other women, he looked me in my eyes and lied. I couldn't believe the same man I fell madly in love with turned into a complete stranger. The only time he treated me kindly was in the presence of family and friends. He wanted to maintain the image that we were a happy couple.When I cried to his aunt about his behavior, she would tell me "don't worry he gon kiss you feet when de baby de come.'' After I had our child he changed back to his loving self, he was a proud father. But, it was too late. I became bitter and hated him for mistreating while I was pregnant. While he slept at night I was consumed with thoughts of different ways to pay him back for mistreating me. I often prayed that God would kill him, so that i would not have to deal with this torture. He took my innocence and devoured me like a hungry lion, and I will never forgive him. I moved away from him and refused to let him see his son. His family is very upset with me, because I am putting him through hell, We are currently in court fitting for custody and monetary support. I hope another young American girl can learn from my mistake, please know that all that glitters is NOT gold. 1 Like |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by candleligh: 7:51pm On Oct 14, 2010 |
I never put down his culture but embraced all. But after many years of him denying he even wanted to become a citizen oneday I found out he had applied and completed without me even knowing it until the end. He even went to be naturlized without me. I was so soso hurt after 7 years of marriage. Now, he has basically moved down to Nigera no warning, just quite his job for the latest contract. buzz lightyear costume |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Kunbee: 12:01am On Oct 17, 2010 |
Goodluck to you all |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by DaRapture: 12:57am On Oct 18, 2010 |
| This is all very sad, yet very funny at the same time. Oddly enough statistically speaking, marriages between AA men and African women turn out to be multiple times more successful than African man/AA woman marriages; yet, oddly enough African women are much less likely to want a relationship with an AA man than an African man is to want one with an AA woman. This is made even more odd, in that AA male/ African female marriages are actually even more successful in this nation than even that of the African male/African female marriages in this nation. |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by PhysicsMHD(m): 7:50pm On Oct 18, 2010 |
^^^^ There's not some sort of intrinsic difference between the two kid. They're all black west african males. Difference is a large percentage of one group (Africans) is out for legal papers and sex, and a very very very small proportion of the other group (African American males) is out for an intelligent, beautiful, hardworking woman. It's more about intent and situations than inner character really. Anyways, the kind of African women that end up with African American men are usually so caught up in pretending to be AA, especially attitude and behavior-wise, that they don't appeal to African men anyways. In the same vein, I'm quite surprised that there are many African male/African American woman relationships in the first place, as most hardworking, reasonably accomplished, and ethnically or nationally conscious African men would just go after an African woman anyways, resulting in most of the leftovers (with few exceptions) being left to AA and American women, |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Samobi(m): 4:09am On Oct 19, 2010 |
PhysicsMHD: Correct! |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Samobi(m): 4:22am On Oct 19, 2010 |
DaRapture: Where are you getting your statistics from and how did you draw this conclusion? Do you know all married Nigerian couples living in all 50 states of the U.S? How were you able to determine that marraiges between AA men and African women are more successful than marraiges between African men and women? The last time I checked, were most AA men not busy running after white or latino women hence AA women are now seemingly running after African or in this case, Nigerian men? DaRapture: Why should her complexion matter Darapture? And no, you do not know her from adam. I know that in your narrow minded brain, you think all northerners are light skin. Give it a rest and take that foolish mindset to black planet bro! |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Hauwa1: 3:11pm On Oct 19, 2010 |
Samobi: |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by MissC: 8:52pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
I'm an American woman, who love Nigerian men. They are more caring (when u meet the right one). However; I found that many like to go outside their marriages, but most men, in my eye, will do that. I say at least make sure home is taken care of, and don't let me see it. When I marry, I want it to be an African man. I want to raise my children on customary African beliefs. |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by diane2222(f): 9:36am On Nov 24, 2010 |
WOW! WOW! I don't even know where to begin. I have spent the last 2 hours reading almost every posted given on this thread. I am an African American Woman and would like to share,,thank you for the opportunity. I met a wonderful man who is in Nigeria. We met by way of facebook. I then ask that he do the skype and we both are getting very close each day. We are both very open concerning our intention from the beginning. I understand his drive and intention to help his country someday. I am an humanitarian and completely understand where he is coming from. We have since, grown quite close and entered to a relationship. I know many might say, how can you fall in love with someone you have not met. Well its happening, on both sides. I took him to this site. He is not offended and agree with what most of the women are saying, He exposed things to me about his fellow Nigerian brothers that he hope to one day change. We both believe in genuine love despite of ones culture. I will be flying to Nigeria to meet him in person and his family. I have taken the walls down and I am willing to go where love leads me. I know people are people and I don't want to believe that all Nigerian are the same, just like I had to get him to see that not all African American woman are the same. We are both humanitarian and desire to make a difference in this world by changing the perception of our people. All the wicked things about Nigerian he has taught me before I came to this site. I didn't have to go to the internet to learn it. He is a kind, loving man thus far and I want to pursue this relationship. He tells me all the time how much he is falling in love with me in such a short time. I must admit I'm also falling in love with him. No I'm not desperate but I am open for real love. I have had 2 failed relationship with American men, cheating, lying, insensitive ect), I can't say I'm perfect either. We all have our demons in life to occur. Is it possible to meet a Nigerian man and live happily ever after, against all odds, I am optimistic and I am taking down the wall. He said his culture does not believe i divorce. He says he will not leave me and return to country to marry. He tells me he want to love marry me some day when the time is right. I want to get something clear. I offered to help him get to the US and improve his living situation by pursuing a career in the US based in his education and experience. He is very educated and smart. He does not have to marry me to do that. But, even when I tried to back away and tell him I will help him because I believe in him,, his answer was, he could go to the United Kingdom or any country for that matter to pursue his career. But his purpose for coming to the US is to be with me. I believe him,, he has no reason to lie. I gave him the open door outside from marriage. I took out any excuse for deceit and offered him the opportunity with an open mind. The bottom line is this, we have so much in common and we are drawn to one another on more levels then intimacy. We are drawn together through spirituality, professional, humanitarian and the glue that will hold it all together is love. My faith is in God, not man, I don't trust him as much as I trust God. I asked that the door be shut if it was not his will, but so far I can clearly see love in the air. I am open for any exchange on this subject. Also my prayers go out to any and all women that felt any pain from men who are Nigerian, or any man for that matter.  |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by eddy2222: 11:13pm On Nov 24, 2010 |
OK here i have my comment firstly i want to make everyone understand that Nigerians are loveable people most especially caring people but we must believe or understand that among even the disciples,we had one that set up JESUS,so am not saying we dint have the bad ones they are every where around us,that is the most reason you should depend on GOD and not Ur feeling or Ur investigation skills,they never work cos dis guys have lived all their lives waiting for such an opportunity,you can imagine he wakes up every morning and goes to bed every niter with such thoughts so you cant out ran him,am very sorry to everyone that has been hurt but i strongly say learn to build all relationship on GOD,I AM A Nigeria man it worked for me and still working,this is my African American relationship story PEACE, AM OPEN TO COMMENTS AND ADVICE |
| Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by diane2222(f): 1:16am On Nov 25, 2010 |
eddy2222: , I am so happy that I met EDDY, and this is a journey we are both on with our eyes open. But what helps us is we both have faith and believe this is the will of God. We are both strong believers. We trust God more than each other. Building your relationship upon biblical principles with a foundation is a recipe for success. |
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