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American Women That Marry Nigerian Men - Culture (15) - Nairaland

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Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by whathappen: 10:47pm On Jan 11, 2011
kapur-wm:

[color=#000099][/color] Very soon I will be marring my Nigerian man , so many mixed emotions from so many on here . But from my point of view My soon to be husband an I have very much taken time to get to know each other . This was no quick relationship . But the making of time an much efforts to know an learn about each other an our ways as individual human beings . Not just a Nigerian man an American woman . An yes we are still learning about each other an the cultural difference .
Nigerian men with American women can be a difficult thing to handle "if " the relationship is real an not Just a seeker of American papers . I have seen an known much of both .
My Nigerian man is very loving , kind an caring . He is just not use to a woman who speaks her mind an who stand up for her self ! He has never had a woman say no to him or speak back defensively . Its a cultural thing to get use to . we have had our share of disagreements yes , that's what normal couples do at times . But he has never ever been abusive in way at all .
also I think an believe it all depends on the tribe they come from an the beliefs in which each man or woman has been raised , this is just my personal view from what I have learned .
Nigerian man lazy , hahaha no I do not think so ! Cheaters , men are men no matter where they come from an all have the ability to do it , that's not a race or country thing but a personal choice . so who is to say all Nigerian men cheat what a crock of BS .
My Man is romantic an is very attentive , Maybe I am just the lucky one , There are many good Nigerian men out here an do not deserve to get a bad rap because of hear say from someone else's bad experience .
all I know is I love my man an everyday grateful I have him in my life
HI THERE I WISH U ALL THE BLESSING IN THE WORLD. WHEN I MET MY YORUBA MAN, HE TREATED ME LIKE A QUEEN. BUT AFTER I MARRIED HIM HE CHAGED. HE DISRESPECT ME AND I JUST FOUND OUT THAT HE HAS A ACCOUNT WITH NOTHING BUT NIGERIA WOMEN ON IT. I LOVE HIM, BUT AM NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH THIS KIND OF TREATMENT. SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY HE MARRY ME. THIS FOOL IS TREATING ME LIKE THIS, AND HAVEN'T MADE IT TO THE STATES YET. SO I WISH U ALL THE LUCK AND BLESSING.
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by MAdeowo(f): 7:39pm On Mar 10, 2011
Hey everyone! Im new to this forum but I had to sign up to reply to this. I am an american and I married a man from lagos. I went there with a ticket he paid for and I stayed 2 months. I have to say it is was quite an experience. I loved every minute i had with my husband. I met lots of good people and everyone treated me so good cept maybe a few that didnt approve of my husband and I.

Im here to say that it can happen. If a love exists like that of my husbands and mine then anything is possible. However, this is not something we entered into fast. we dated for roughly 3 years. online dating is much different but we fell in love just the same. he is my everything. I am his. when it was time to meet him i thot he forgot me and didnt come to pick me up at the airport. LOL, I didnt know that the people who were waiting for us had to wait outside! Then I stepped outside and it was like a dream come true. there was my love running towards me past all the people and screaming my name loudly as he ran, LOL, It is one of them moments Ill never forget. From the moment I first looked into his eyes and kissed him for the first time I knew he was it. He is all I ever wanted in a man and I knew Id love him forever.

It is true ladies that scammers do exist and some just marry for the US entry but it is also true that not everyone should be thought of in this way. I guess you just have to be careful and be sure. I am going back to Nigeria in one month and I will be living there for 6 to 8 months or until which time my husband can return with me to the US. His son will join us. I am very exciting for this new life of mine to finally begin! <3

Whatever bad thing anyone has to think or say about Nigerian men remember it is not true when my husband is concerned. he romantic and loving and think of me as his world. He treats me like a queen! My husband and i tell each other every day how lucky we both feel to have found each other. he is the first and last online relationship Ive had. LOL, It is a very hard thing actually. getting to know each other thru a computer. who does that? haha well we did and all is great cause we did. <3

Thanks for reading everyone, =))

1 Like

Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by bayosgirl(f): 9:53am On May 05, 2011
Hi everyone, this is my first post on the forum although I've been "lurking" for awhile. I'm the proud new wife of a Naija man from the Yoruba tribe. We met at my parents' restaurant, where he used to work. There are so many things I love about him, it would take hours and hours to list. He is different from any American I have ever known. First of all, he has the best work ethic I have ever seen of anyone except my dad (who is an immigrant himself, from Italy.) He is also extremely responsible, having zero debt. I see a lot of Americans living off credit cards and living way beyond their means and I absolutely did not want that life. He is extremely caring and puts me first at all times. I know I can always count on him. Oh, and the superficial stuff-he's hot as hell. tongue He's got beautiful, straight teeth and a broad face, expressive eyes that I love gazing into, perfect eyebrows, wink He's so sweet, When we first started dating, he spent 3 hours at the barn one freezing winter night to watch my horse riding lesson. That's how I knew he was a keeper. smiley And he's never, ever tried to divert me from my hobby/passion. I love him to pieces and can't wait to make beautiful "Nigalian" babies with him! cool

1 Like

Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by MAdeowo(f): 3:26pm On May 06, 2011
I wish you all luck! not all are bad just like not all american men are bad, men are men! they think with there little heads instead! My husband is still the world to me and we been married for 7 months now, hes perfect! smiley
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by bayosgirl(f): 8:22am On May 10, 2011
HI THERE I WISH U ALL THE BLESSING IN THE WORLD. WHEN I MET MY YORUBA MAN, HE TREATED ME LIKE A QUEEN. BUT AFTER I MARRIED HIM HE CHAGED. HE DISRESPECT ME AND I JUST FOUND OUT THAT HE HAS A ACCOUNT WITH NOTHING BUT NIGERIA WOMEN ON IT. I LOVE HIM, BUT AM NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH THIS KIND OF TREATMENT. SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY HE MARRY ME. THIS FOOL IS TREATING ME LIKE THIS, AND HAVEN'T MADE IT TO THE STATES YET. SO I WISH U ALL THE LUCK AND BLESSING.

I am very sorry this happened to you. sad I hope you find a good man who treats you with love and respect. They DO exist! Don't give up hope.
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Dolphine(m): 4:07am On May 11, 2011
please oh ladies am a guy tall dark and cute, a true Nigerian, i want to advertise myself, am ready for marriage if any is interested, call me 08025997319 or email kingskomits@hotmail.com
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by tom28(m): 12:28am On May 21, 2011
Dolphine:

please oh ladies am a guy tall dark and cute, a true Nigerian, i want to advertise myself, am ready for marriage if any is interested, call me 08025997319 or email kingskomits@hotmail.com
scam cheesy

1 Like

Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Dolphine(m): 2:22pm On May 21, 2011
Thank you. And do u think all men are like you?
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by bayosgirl(f): 12:34am On May 22, 2011
^ are you admitting to scamming?
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Dolphine(m): 6:43pm On May 22, 2011
What i mean is,i am not a scam,but their are scams out there,and he should not condem me for any reason,he has not even met me,God!
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by tom28(m): 7:25pm On May 22, 2011
Dolphine:

Thank you. And do u think all men are like you?
ok let me not pour san san for ur garri so carry one with your busines cheesy
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Dolphine(m): 9:53pm On May 22, 2011
Please lets change the way we think,lets remake Our Country NIGERIA.I am proud to be a TRUE NIGERIAN.
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by xxKie: 9:57pm On May 24, 2011
w0w @_@


__________________________________________



Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by offor2010: 7:31pm On Jul 12, 2011
grin I am an American White girl marred to a fine nigerian man and I just want to say that my man treats me like a Queen from day one. I am proud to be part of the Nigerian culture. I thank God everyday for bringing me such a caring and loving man.
Although we are still waiting on his visa to come through I still trust and believe he will not change once he is over here. But, my feeling is this if he is using me for a visa to this country so be it. No different then an American man cheating on me and leaving to be with another woman.
All my Nigerian friends and families are great.


Proud to be a Nigerian mans wife smiley smiley smiley smiley

1 Like

Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by DaRapture: 5:43am On Jul 13, 2011
offor2010:

grin I am an American White girl marred to a fine nigerian man and I just want to say that my man treats me like a Queen from day one. I am proud to be part of the Nigerian culture. I thank God everyday for bringing me such a caring and loving man.
Although we are still waiting on his visa to come through I still trust and believe he will not change once he is over here. But, my feeling is this if he is using me for a visa to this country so be it. No different then an American man cheating on me and leaving to be with another woman.
All my Nigerian friends and families are great.


Proud to be a Nigerian mans wife smiley smiley smiley smiley


Here we go again. It'll be interesting to see how this one turns out. cheesy Are you sure you're not German, by any chance? smiley

1 Like

Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by offor2010: 6:25am On Jul 13, 2011
Here we go again. It'll be interesting to see how this one turns out. Are you sure you're not German, by any chance?



Yeah I am pretty sure I am not German. What's that got to do with anything if I was.


"Proud to Married to a Nigerian" grin
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by DaRapture: 3:52am On Jul 14, 2011
offor2010:

Here we go again. It'll be interesting to see how this one turns out. Are you sure you're not German, by any chance?



Yeah I am pretty sure I am not German. What's that got to do with anything if I was.


"Proud to Married to a Nigerian" grin

Umm, well ok, good for you. You're on Troll watch, by the way.
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Gbenge77(m): 11:41am On Jul 15, 2011
Its a case of different strokes for different folks.
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by angelae: 3:28pm On Jul 16, 2011
My boyfriend is from delta state Nigeria and we have known each other for 5 years and been together 9 months. We will get married in Dec in his country.
I must say I have alot of African friends , males and females, they all are wonderful. I love and respect my man as he has done the same and more for me. I am looking for a life time with him , but for some reason it doesn't happen, it has been wonderful. I love his mom also we talk weekly/ In my State I am very connected to the African community even work at my friends African market sometimes, They are my best friends
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by angelae: 3:33pm On Jul 16, 2011
Hey girl give it all u got , their are good and bad people all over the world. Enjoy ur African man as I am and keep me posted . As you know every relationship is like a job you have to clock in every day
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by muyimagic(m): 4:30am On Jul 27, 2011
meet cool singles, shear ideas and even more on www.greenermate.com
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Azalea: 12:10am On Jul 29, 2011
Hi everyone,

I'm so glad to have found a forum that seems to offer a realistic idea of what it means to date a Nigerian man. I initially began searching for more information on the culture and background of Nigerians when I began communication with a Nigerian man several weeks ago. I am an educated woman, and am very much aware of scammers, but have never had any reasons to doubt his character. I can't remember what my first google search was for, but the first website that popped up was a newsfeed full of American women in loveless marriages with Nigerian men. This raised a larger flag for me than anything else, as I believe I could easily smell a green card seeker from a mile away. I began to research more, as my interactions with Nigerians have always been positive, and so I am grateful to have found this site. I'm hoping to share a bit of my story, in hopes of learning more.

Here is some background on me and my situation. I am a white female in my late 20's. I have a full time job and am working on my Masters degree on the side. I tried online dating for the first time this summer and began corresponding with an interesting, educated Nigerian man several weeks ago on a very successful (paid) dating site. (I do feel like this adds some substance to the situation. This wasn't a man I met in a chat room or on a free dating site). He came to the states several years ago for his masters degree and has remained here to work. He has a good job, is very conversational and intelligent, and has given me great detail about his life in Nigeria, his dating history, and what he is looking for in a partner. I have every reason in the world to believe him.

We've only been communicating for a few weeks, and I've enjoyed getting to know him. He enjoys writing (and has mentioned a hope of making a career of it someday) and we've been exchanging approximately two long emails a week. He asks excellent questions and has compounded on the importance of building a a strong foundation of friendship with his partner. These are ideals that I also find to be important. We're still very early in the communication stage, but he has never said anything that has raised a red flag for me. He hasn't yet requested for communication outside of the dating site (although I believe this could be the next step some point soon) and has made no mention of quickly committing to me or adoring me (as so many of these women on this board have claimed). He seems to finally be wanting to settle down and start a family, stating that his past relationship broke off because he wasn't quite ready to do so.

My question is this: I feel very much that he is the real deal. I enjoy the stimulating conversations, and am not one to rush into a relationship, so I like that I don't at all feel pressured to rush into this. But what are some questions I should ask him about his home, culture, family, and tribal background? We have lightly touched on most of these topics at some point in our conversations, but how do I continue to learn about who he is as a man, without him feeling interrogated? I'd like to ask about his tribal background (we haven't touched on that yet) but would it be a strange question for me to ask? I only know that he is from Lagos. There are a few bad apples in every nation (and Caucasian Americans have LOTS of them), so I don't ever want him to feel judged based on stereotype. Everything he's told me so far has checked out, so I have no reason to doubt his sincerity.

A lot of these horror stories (especially those involving women who were deeply loved by their spouse prior to marriage, and "neglected" so to speak, afterwards) have rocked my boat a little bit, and I just want to make sure that things are progressing well in my communications with him.

Any insight at all would be appreciated!

Thank you very much!
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by dennydear(f): 12:16am On Aug 01, 2011
Hmmm,  probably gonna get my butt in a rut with this and would appreciate NOT being placed on Troll Watch: I'm an American White Woman in a 5 yr. long distance relationship with a Yoruba man that is 20 yrs. my junior. We've met face to face twice: my 1st visit was 2 weeks in Ibadan 2007, then the 2nNDvisit was a month in 2008.  During these visits, I determined he was not married, nor did he have any children, and displayed deep devotion to his family of origin. 

Our attempt with a fiance visa was denied June 3rd of this year, and even that has not stopped how I feel.  I have given this sweet man my heart, and he remains loyal to me, in spite of every challenge we continue to face! We communicate almost every day, using my computer, our cell phones, and a decent international calling plan, of course.  grin

The biggest reason I remain committed to him is this: He has fewer options available to him in Nigeria. I want him to have as many opportunities as I have seen, being born & raised here in the States. (If it's wrong to want someone like him to have a better shot at life than the one he's living now, then I was born on the wrong planet!) Big plus: he's a really great guy!

The strange thing is I'm fully aware of the repercussions of what might happen later, once we actually marry and he's living here with me. I'm a grown woman, with plenty of experience being on my own, but the hope remains that I won't be so alone when I'm old and grey!

That said, it's a 2-way exchange. Guessing I don't need to mention, but i'm gonna: Mutual attraction and high sex drive!  cool
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Chintua: 9:47am On Aug 01, 2011
I'm an American White Woman in a 5 yr. long distance relationship with a Yoruba man that is 20 yrs. my junior.

Mu he he he he he

Singing out loud. . .  cheesy

Yahooo oh oh
Yahooo oh oh

Errrm? Is his name "Olu Mountain" by any chance? grin
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by semid4lyfe(m): 11:07am On Aug 01, 2011
denny dear:
Hmmm, probably gonna get my butt in a rut with this and would appreciate NOT being placed on Troll Watch: I'm an American White Woman in a 5 yr. long distance relationship with a Yoruba man that is 20 yrs. my junior. We've met face to face twice: my 1st visit was 2 weeks in Ibadan 2007, then the 2nNDvisit was a month in 2008. During these visits, I determined he was not married, nor did he have any children, and displayed deep devotion to his family of origin.

Our attempt with a fiance visa was denied June 3rd of this year, and even that has not stopped how I feel. I have given this sweet man my heart, and he remains loyal to me, in spite of every challenge we continue to face! We communicate almost every day, using my computer, our cell phones, and a decent international calling plan, of course. grin

The biggest reason I remain committed to him is this: He has fewer options available to him in Nigeria. I want him to have as many opportunities as I have seen, being born & raised here in the States. (If it's wrong to want someone like him to have a better shot at life than the one he's living now, then I was born on the wrong planet!) Big plus: he's a really great guy!

The strange thing is I'm fully aware of the repercussions of what might happen later, once we actually marry and he's living here with me. I'm a grown woman, with plenty of experience being on my own, but the hope remains that I won't be so alone when I'm old and grey!

That said, it's a 2-way exchange. Guessing I don't need to mention, but i'm gonna: Mutual attraction and high sex drive! cool

If you think that young handsome black brotha you have on your profile is with you cos of'' love'', ''mutual attraction'' and good ''$ex'' you give him, then good luck to you grin

I've placed you on a TROLL watch by the way and I hope you'll come back to tell us what happens when you're actually married and he's living with you in the states?

Leaves the thread humming maga don pay shout hallelujah. . , oh, oh, oh
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by NeavehLee: 5:33am On Sep 16, 2011
I'm just wondering I am dating a man from Nigeria and he seems perfect but it scares me because if we were to marry and we go back to Nigeria to visit can he keep my there against my will? Because you here and watch that when these american woman marry someone form another country and you go back they can keep you there because your under their law is that true for Nigeria? I am trying to learn more about him and his culture I asked him but I don't know if he is lying to me or not he says he won't be you never know.
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by dennydear(f): 12:31pm On Sep 16, 2011
Wow, never thought Naija peeps would reply sarcastic and nasty to a posting that simply stated a relationship that is struggling mightily against all odds. shocked It's not a wonder that West Africa isnt a place the rest of the world associates with goodness and grace.

Shame will haunt you and your religious hypocrisy.

Oh, and thanks again for your support, hmmmm.
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Tigers74(f): 8:34am On Sep 26, 2011
Hi Thanks for sharing, I too, had several experiences the first one I fell in love the first 3 mos was nice but he was jealous and controlling I knew he wasnt mine to keep. 2nd was after green card and I knew he wasnt for me, 3rd one I am currently communicating with him hes in Nigeria and we are planning to meet in the spring 2012. it took me a long time to accept him bec of bad experiences, he was very patient and kind yes we had some disagreement and I noticed he was very loving and he pursuded me for 3 years! its worth the wait, worth the time and effort to earn your trust and love, hes very attentive and caring, I will post more in the spring time, I know that not all Nigerian men are bad they comes from all walks of life wheather they re rich or poor, of course they make choices I want to say to all of you be a good keeper and do well with ur man. value him always. I will and am doing the same. Hugs to all of you. wink
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by river6: 4:00am On Jan 10, 2012
i was in that position too
i was scammed also
i have extencive ways of finding about these scammers and after a 6 months courtship with a man that i was to marry it finished , but they like to still stay friends with the sole perpose of being able to come back with the hope of having another go at scanning you, this persom is an nigerian , and we are warned that nigerai is known for scammers
but saying all that i am in a relatiomship with a nigerian man but with a lot of causion as i am sure there are a lot of nigerians out there that are genuine, we just have to do our home work smiley
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Ybutterfly: 1:57pm On Jan 18, 2012
^^^^^^^^^^^sTu, PId tHReAd^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by mystikc77: 10:40pm On Feb 13, 2012
Hi I am new here and happy to have found this site. I am an American woman, involved with a Nigerian man, we haven't met in person, but plan to soon, I would like to enlist the help of those on this forum, for advice on how to go about obtaining a vistior visa from Nigeria to America, if anyone know the process and the cost please let me know. Thanks in advance for your help
Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by LegalDiva: 4:43am On Feb 21, 2012
I'm dating an igbo man right now so I can't speak from the experience of Black Americans who have married. However, I will say that the whole idea of Nigerian men being hard to please and non-romantic is so far from the truth. I dated a Yoruba guy when I was in college and he was soooo good to me. Our relationship didn't work for various reasons but I would never fix my mouth to say that he was not attentive or romantic.

The guy I'm dating now is a dream. Yes he is stubborn and old school but we understand each other. He's very considerate and caring. It goes without saying that all men are not created equal no matter where you come from and obviously this is true in this situation.

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