I used to date bukky. We dated for 4yrs; 4rm 2006 to 2010. The first two of those 4yrs was the best for me. Though then she had not gotten admission into uni. And I was planning to do direct entry to a uni too. So both of us were idle. after one year into d relationship she gotten admssion. I was 90% instrumental in her getting d offer. So she left for schl while I was still waiting for my own. I'm 6yrs older dan her just dat I enterd schl late. Before she left, I was everytin to her. We enjoyed d best relationship ever. Her mum knew all about us. Then few months after she left 4 schl, she started changing, d calls reduced, at times she won't pick up my calls, she even forgot my birthday. Wen she came back after 4months. She begged me dat it was schl stress. Due to d luv I had 4 her, I forgive her. Few weeks after she came back, I realised dat she was pregnant.(Not for me). She dosen't want her mum to knw cos she's a single parent, so she had to cry and beg me to help ha. I felt cheated and humiliated. Bt I took ha to a doctor friend and did away wit it. She promised it would nt happen again. She resumed and went back. Few months later she returned wit d same problem for another guy. The funny tin is dat she never knew any of these guys' houses. Dey just did d tin in schl and went their ways. Dis time around, I told her mum. It was d mum dat did dat one 4 her. I told ha I can't continue again cos I look like a fool. I always used protection wenever we played. Then she nw stopped a few months before my admission clicked in a state 9hours away from her. She cried wen I was going and she promised to remain faithful till I come back. After a year, in 2011, I went back for a month, she was still sober (or so I thought) and we got intimate a couple of times b4 I went back. She nw said I shud come home at least once in two months, bt I said it is nt possibe, dat if she truly loves me, distance and time should nt be a barrier. Few months after we stopped communicating.no one asked why cos we both knw dat the distance was telling on d affair. "Late 2012, I met amope. I liked her instantly. We are in the same schl, so we started dating. This girl loved me like there's no tomorrow, but she has this overbearing and obsessive-possessive attitude dat made me get tired of d relationship as soon as it started. Coupled wit some other stuffs about my family not liking her even though they've nt met, to her not paying much attention to herself, I waited for close to two years thinking she'll change for better, bt as it is, it deteriorated. So I had to opt out of d relationship, though very painfully, cos dis girl was always there wen I needed help, most especially financial. Bt dat's not enough to settle down wit if other attributes are missing. I missed her, bt I just had to let go b4 its too late. Presently, I'm back at my place to do my project stuff. Bukky came looking for me, as she graduated this year cos she went to a state uni for a 4yr couse. Me I'm in a slow moving fed. Uni studying civil eng. So, we became friends once more and she now dropped the bombshell! She wants us to do introduction!! I got scared. Though I'm almost 30 nw and wit good prospects, bt can I settle wit ha considering all wat happened in d past? Pls dnt mind the lenght of the post, I just want to make it concise. I need advice pls. Should I accept the introduction or nt?

if u still love her u need to forget the past and move on with your life

tomba: ! I got scared. Though I'm almost 30 nw and wit good prospects, bt can I settle wit ha considering all wat happened in d past? Pls dnt mind the lenght of the post, I just want to make it concise. I need advice pls. Should I accept the introduction or nt?

LMAO!! So you mean a girl is asking for your hand in marriage..

Kslib:
LMAO!! So you mean a girl is asking for your hand in marriage..

. Yes, u've never heard it before? Some girls come back to u after many escapades to beg u for marriage if they discover the real man in u is lacking in all their other dates.

Love fire! So u need a soothsayer to tell wat to do, na wa o! Pple can mumu sha, beta shine ur eyez well o!

Ms_ShaQ: Love fire! So u need a soothsayer to tell wat to do, na wa o! Pple can mumu sha, beta shine ur eyez well o!

Pls tell me. If I knew wat to do, I would nt write d topic

@Op, next time try to make your post concise and precise. The post is just too long for me to really get a grasp of what you are saying.

k2039: @Op, next time try to make your post concise and precise. The post is just too long for me to really get a grasp of what you are saying.

sori bro. Just wanted to make it very explanatory so as to convey the real picture

Is the love you have for her enough to FORGIVE and FORGET all that happened in the past? I mean the kind of forgiveness that makes it look like it never happened!

alutacontinua: Is the love you have for her enough to FORGIVE and FORGET all that happened in the past? I mean the kind of forgiveness that makes it look like it never happened!

Dat I don't really knw nw. But she looks more responsible and closer to God nw. Bt I dnt knw if it is one of her ploys to get wat she want. U knw wen I was dating her then, her mum would always say dat she likes so much dat she can give me her daughter to marry wen she graduates. Nw she's implementing it. I dnt even knw if I'm fully ready sef

oga u be real mumuni
u still dey ask question?
run for ur life

It sounds strange to hear that a lady asked you for introduction. Thats been desperate..
My guy! If u think you cant live without her, then go ahead.
Real men dont marry girls dey can live with, they marry girls they can not live without.
Follow ur heart man, dont be pushed around by comments from faces nairalander

tomba: Dat I don't really knw nw. But she looks more responsible and closer to God nw. Bt I dnt knw if it is one of her ploys to get wat she want. U knw wen I was dating her then, her mum would always say dat she likes so much dat she can give me her daughter to marry wen she graduates. Nw she's implementing it. I dnt even knw if I'm fully ready sef

Let's assume that she has changed, CAN YOU FORGIVE HER PAST

alutacontinua:

Let's assume that she has changed, CAN YOU FORGIVE HER PAST

Yes, I think I can, cos everybody has a past, whether secret or open.

digitalgeorgy: It sounds strange to hear that a lady asked you for introduction. Thats been desperate..
My guy! If u think you cant live without her, then go ahead.
Real men dont marry girls dey can live with, they marry girls they can not live without.
Follow ur heart man, dont be pushed around by comments from faces nairalander

THanks a lot man 4 d advice. Bt I don't tink she's desperate, its just dat she said she never found someone like me in her life. She just suggested it not dat she insisted

there's a bad seed in that egg.

tomba: Yes, I think I can, cos everybody has a past, whether secret or open.

Then, don't rush into giving her an answer yet. Take your time to find out if she has truly changed...make sure you're thorough in the 'finding out' process. If she has changed and you're sure you can overlook her past, you're sure you can be happy with her...then, i don't see why not!

But if in the course of your investigations, you still find some loop-holes about her, bros! Move on.

Don't be fooled into beleiving she's changed because she's now more religious....sometimes, it's just a trick we ladies use. Sad but true!

alutacontinua: Is the love you have for her enough to FORGIVE and FORGET all that happened in the past? I mean the kind of forgiveness that makes it look like it never happened!

Her past is just too ugly 2 abortions for random guyz, forgetting will be really hard for me.

lyfe:

Her past is just too ugly 2 abortions for random guyz, forgetting will be really hard for me.

Op says he can...who are we to question that?
He has a large heart and that is a rare virtue!

Well, Everyone has a past either good or ugly but if i may advise you, Devil you know is better than Angel you do not know, Get the girl tested in competent hosipitals to ensure you are not marrying your fellow man, this is always the issue with girl that may have undergone series of abortions, and have your self tested also, Marriage and Friendship are of two different institutions and they go in two different parallel lines, they look alike but not too close or related as people see them,

makelove2m: Well, Everyone has a past either good or ugly but if i may advise you, Devil you know is better than Angel you do not know, Get the girl tested in competent hosipitals to ensure you are not marrying your fellow man, this is always the issue with girl that may have undergone series of abortions, and have your self tested also, Marriage and Friendship are of two different institutions and they go in two different parallel lines, they look alike but not too close or related as people see them,

Thanks bro

alutacontinua:

Then, don't rush into giving her an answer yet. Take your time to find out if she has truly changed...make sure you're thorough in the 'finding out' process. If she has changed and you're sure you can overlook her past, you're sure you can be happy with her...then, i don't see why not!

But if in the course of your investigations, you still find some loop-holes about her, bros! Move on.

Don't be fooled into beleiving she's changed because she's now more religious....sometimes, it's just a trick we ladies use. Sad but true!

Now u just made my day. Tnks. Its been really helpful

B4 u'll be done with NYSC (if @ all u'll go since u said u r almost 30) more proposals will come.

Kslib:
LMAO!! So you mean a girl is asking for your hand in marriage..

.........OP, run for your life! Truth is nobody wants her so you are her only hope. ,

This is outrageous to me. A guy forgiving the friend who had been reckless with men and even aborted for those men. Except you too have been unfaithful to her in the past also, with that, it might be easier to forgive just like you did although that is my own opinion. Forgiveness is a virtue and a necessity in life especially in marriages. For you having this type of trait(forgiveness) in you, you are really blessed. Now the question is, Can you stick out your neck that she will be thoroughly faithful to you? That should be the issue now. Will history repeat itself? Change is one thing that is constant in life but changing from bad to good is always difficult. Think properly and do your assignment well. Don't be carried away by sentiments except if you can manage any situation that may come up in the future after you had married her. Your choice! Another important thing you should do is going to God specifically for forgiveness concerning her previous abortion. You helped her got rid of a child which is murder. Some homes lack children today as a result of this. You may not be that lucky. I pray you don't end up with whomever you will marry, being a childless couple. May God forbid. You need to repent and ask God to forgive you of that and wash your blood hands with the blood of Jesus. Do it!

Princess zoe: This is outrageous to me. A guy forgiving the friend who had been reckless with men and even aborted for those men. Except you too have been unfaithful to her in the past also, with that, it might be easier to forgive just like you did although that is my own opinion. Forgiveness is a virtue and a necessity in life especially in marriages. For you having this type of trait(forgiveness) in you, you are really blessed. Now the question is, Can you stick out your neck that she will be thoroughly faithful to you? That should be the issue now. Will history repeat itself? Change is one thing that is constant in life but changing from bad to good is always difficult. Think properly and do your assignment well. Don't be carried away by sentiments except if you can manage any situation that may come up in the future after you had married her. Your choice! Another important thing you should do is going to God specifically for forgiveness concerning her previous abortion. You helped her got rid of a child which is murder. Some homes lack children today as a result of this. You may not be that lucky. I pray you don't end up with whomever you will marry, being a childless couple. May God forbid. You need to repent and ask God to forgive you of that and wash your blood hands with the blood of Jesus. Do it!

thnks so much dear friend. I've already done that long ago. A reoccurence can be very deadly especially after I might av married her. I'll think it over. Thnks once again

Thanks every one. Ur responses and advises. I really appreciate it. I think I'll just tell her to let's pipe down and wait for a while to see how things will go before reaching a conclusion. God bless Nairaland. God bless Nigeria.

That girl is thinking about NYSC cos with the way your story is going, service year will bring another dimension. I don't think she's ready to answer the question, "after service, what next?" She's planning ahead.

Please my guy if she was you, she will not think twice to have doump you the moment she came home pregnant. You helped her the first time and she promised not to do it again but she went back and brought you another bigger one. And her mum did that for her. Can't you think for once? I give you my advice. Abort everything that has to do with that lady. One does not dee fit and put his head just because there is god. I tell you god will not save you. It is better to stay at the corner of the road than to live with a wrong woman that will give you hell after marriage. Be wise.

Please my guy if she was you, she will not think twice to have doump you the moment she came home pregnant. You helped her the first time and she promised not to do it again but she went back and brought you another bigger one. And her mum did that for her. Can't you think for once? I give you my advice. Abort everything that has to do with that lady. One does not see fir and put his head just because there is god. I tell you god will not save you from being burnt up. It is better to stay at the corner of the road than to live with a wrong woman that will give you hell after marriage. Be wise.