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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready (6455 Views)
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Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:05pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:07pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
This OP's scenario is not surrogacy. The closest this situation would be to any legal terminology is to a 'private/independent adoption' but it is not surrogacy. CC was just stating facts not being emotional. I am not against surrogacy. Matter of fact I have briefly considered it to avoid personally going through another pregnancy. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:07pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:08pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Commercial Surrogacy ummmm, I'll check that out. BTW pls get back on track, hopefully OP will return, which I doubt because this lady I perceived here needs Money so bad for the baby... I could be wrong tho. Too much doubts lately. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:09pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
chaircover: The latter +++ |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:10pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:11pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:11pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
ileobatojo: This OP's scenario is not surrogacy. The closest this situation would be to any legal terminology is to a 'private/independent adoption' but it is not surrogacy. CC was just stating facts not being emotional. You are right there frenemy On a lighter note...Surrogacy is not only for infertile couple .... Anytime I change my mind bout having that Boy , could be via a surrogate ....I've worked very hard to keep this tummy & butt flat , no no to flapping schizos |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:12pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
chaircover: why does cooger follow ileoba into threads . . . .could it be that these two are married Driving a stake through my eye would be more tolerable!! |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:14pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
I hope they don't start their arguments, on hell, I foresee 11 pages in 5 minutes. @ile Since you are trying to get coogar off your back, let him be your surrogate. I swear coogar's gender confuses me |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:14pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
jidegirl12: Lol! My reasons are a tad different but this definitely works too! |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:16pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Actually I take that back, its not for the infertile only, I am only exposed to them infertile ones not Hollywood ones |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:16pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
jennykadry: I hope they don't start their arguments, on hell, I foresee 11 pages in 5 minutes. Rotfl! Ngbo, sister Coogar, can I borrow your uterus for 9 months? |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:21pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:26pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
@cc , No it wouldn't as long the Lady is NOT involved. The baby is mine. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by baby124: 8:28pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Some women are simply not going to be able to have children. So they would rather give their spouse the opportunity. As long as the surrogate goes away, i dont think there will be an issue. If you love your spouse, you will love his kids like yours. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:28pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
ileobatojo: Sister coogar is checking her fertility status at the doctor's |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by EfemenaXY: 8:29pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
chaircover: Ah! Is this what you guys meant by baby factories?? Yes, I've read stories like those. Infact I remember reading about one somewhere in Port Harcourt but it was a lot more complicated! Basically, this involved a married woman seeking a child and having been without one for such a long time, had reached the point of desperation where she would just about believe anything. Now such women fell pray to certain 'pastors' who told them that in order to get pregnant, they'll have to practically move into the church for series of fasting, prayers, etc. As some point, they would be given a concoction to drink. This concoction would then induce some sort of 'swelling' in her (womb?). The pastors would then warn these women not to go for ultra-sound scans because being a 'spiritually-induced' child, it won't be seen by the 'naked' eyes of ordinary men or picked up by the scanners. When the woman's 'due' date is at hand, she would be advised to leave home for some weeks so they could round off the final prayer sessions. During this time, she would be given something to drink / drugged so she falls asleep and when she awakens, would find a newborn baby in her arms. Now obviously, this 'newborn' baby is the product of an unfortunate teenage girl held against her will in a child factory. I even read that many of these girls, having had their child would still be cajoled into having the second, third, fourth one, fathered by some of the men in the ring / setting.... Ah, if this is what you guys meant all along, then what can I say except Debrief, I'm not trying to put you on the spot, nothing like that and pls don't be offended by what I'm about to ask. This scenario I've painted, is this what you were referring to when you mention making surrogacy legitimate?? |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:32pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
chaircover: Can I ask you ladies, would it bother you so much if the baby didn't have your genes but it def must have your husbands genes. No it wouldn't really bother me as long as I'm comfortable with the woman's genetic history, I would be fine with that. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:38pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
jennykadry: As long as 'she's' not 'test driving', I'm cool. Because any successful test driving session could render the uterus indisposed o! |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 8:47pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by EfemenaXY: 9:03pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
@CC, yep I remember that story. Very well too. I forgot to mention that the sums involved in those baby factories are vast. Nothing less than N500K, even more expensive for male kids, AND much, much higher for twins and multiple births. Those 'pastors' and 'clinics' that work hand-in-hand promoting such sham should be rightly shut down as Debrief mentioned... but I also think those pastors should be strung up by the balls and shot for prying on people's vulnerabilities. It's so annoying. I know of a well educated nurse. Nurse o! who actually having suggested surrogacy to her young niece (that had just entered med school) but had her offer declined, then went to seek 'divine intervention' from those 'pastors' and child factories. I don't even know the full story behind her sojourns but eventually she did get what she wanted. Anyway, to answer this question of yours: chaircover: Can I ask you ladies, w[b]ould it bother you so much if the baby didn't have your genes but it def must have your husbands genes.[/b] Abeg, I nor fit. It would bother me no end. Don't think I can do it. Am I selfish? Yes, perhaps. But then again, if the tables were turned, would he allow his wife to bring in another man's child into their matrimonial home, for him to feed, clothe and shelter? (Na Naija men I dey refer to here) No. I don't think so. It's either we adopt or we go our separate ways. Then maybe, I can adopt one of my own... |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by damiso(f): 9:34pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
chaircover: Can I ask you ladies, would it bother you so much if the baby didn't have your genes but it def must have your husbands genes.[quote author=chaircover] I would not necessarily be bothered about the genetical make up not comprising of mine which will lead me to my preferred option of adoption.Its not like am bothered about the child not being mine or anything but why cant we just adpot one of the kids out there who need a stable loving home rather going out to make another one.I know there are legal ways to go about surrogacy but I just believe a legal adoption is a far less personal and controversial way to go about it. I dont want any more kids but thankfully me and my husband are both pro adoption so maybe in the future.He, from our courtship days(dont let me be presumptous here but just thank God for Grace cos he might have been singing another tune if we were still TTC) has always been of the opinion that if we had issues having kids, he had no qualms about adopting.When courting I used to cuss him out and get angry that he was jinxing us and God forbid me I will not have trouble conceiving .I used to throw bible verses at him but he would just be like I am just a typical naija gal before nko. I have told him to stop trying to advise typical naija TTC to adopt.A close friend told him, what if the child had a prostitute mother and armed robber father, so no thank you they will still keep trying IVF. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by TV01(m): 9:36pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Surrogacy is an ethical and administrative minefield. The short response here - to put it politely - is that Nigeria is simply not ready for it. For the simple reason that it needs to be highly regulated. Any country would do well to tread very cautiously here and take a leaf out of the UK's playbook. Sure, surrogacy can work and successfully, but there are very real dangers of commoditising babies and exploiting women. In it's worst form, it's not far removed from the baby factory phenom. And invariably it's worst form is in "3rd world countries". It works best where money is not a motivating factor. In Naija it would be fraught simply due to the inability to regulate as mentioned. Money is typically the driver for 3rd world surrogates and money and corruption are Siamese - no pun or offense intended - twins in Nigeria. And we have the added problem of ritualists to consider. By the time ""egg harvesting" comes along...I shudder to think. With the advent of Gay marriage the picture worsens - for those who have concerns about this - as rich middle class westerners will also be on the prowl. I have nothing against social crusades that are based on sound moral and ethical considerations. Feminism 101 has given us many who jump on Western ideology - and some of the more extreme ones - without thought to our cultural circumstances and morés. We should be both judicious and cautious in adopting ideology or technology CC, you have been temperate here and were absolutely right to voice concerns. For the record I'm a feminist . TV |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by bis7(f): 10:01pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
sexymoma: While you guys are here raining abuses on her, someone is there thinking of paying her 700k. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by bis7(f): 10:02pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Thanks Sexymoma & Efemana xy .. i will make the right decision soon. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by cigaricon(m): 10:42pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
Chai what a pity. See what people are planning with innocent baby's life. when the child grow up now and finds out the truth about its birth, you think he will smile at you and start singing kumbayaya? You tell me how you would feel if it were to be you? Other people want children and dont have doesnt mean you should go about selling yours. Its human life we are talking about here sorry to say but WOMEN: to precious but too stupid creatures ya bring it on with the curses. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by dasparrow: 11:00pm On Jun 27, 2013 |
cigar icon: Chai what a pity. See what people are planning with innocent baby's life. when the child grow up now and finds out the truth about its birth, you think he will smile at you and start singing kumbayaya? You tell me how you would feel if it were to be you? @Bolded I guess your mother and grand mothers are all stupid creatures too. I guess any woman who raises a male child who grows up to become a chauvinist can be considered a stupid creature so I guess your mother is a stupid creature. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 1:23am On Jun 28, 2013 |
bis7: i m thinking of the old way of giving birth and gave it up for couples or single looking for there own children but not free.. if they are able to sponsor me till i gave birth and they have the baby plus 700k given after that i am willingly to leave it but if i cant get anyone between a week from now i will get rid of it so it wont affect my life now and also i dont have enough to take care of myself talkless of a child now. lopeobama@yahoo.com You know what I think? I think you're planing on stealing someone's baby. But if you're truly pregnant, seriously you wanna sell your own baby? I heard people that are not ready for for kids uses condoms or morning afterpill. Unless you're young and curious. |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by Nobody: 1:30am On Jun 28, 2013 |
dasparrow: He said ALL women, course his mom and ALL his entire lineage included too *Crapface* |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by ow11(m): 11:25am On Jun 28, 2013 |
chaircover: Efe actually it is her constant referring to the baby that she has already carried in her womb for 3 months as "it" that got to me. I have always wondered why Nigerians get offended when you use the pronoun 'it' to refer to a baby or a child of unknown gender. That is proper use as the baby is genderless (neuter) and until the sex is known before the rules change an thus can be referred to as he or she. Although language like most things can change depending on common rules in a particular environment*, it is unfair to brand her as cold if she refers to her baby as 'it'. Regarding the post, bis7 should abort the baby before it is too late. Better to die before birth than to be born and neglected. No one should offer her any money * Nigeria: I am coming! meaning I am going away and would return shortly. . In UK English this would be said like this: I would be back in a moment! whilst 'I am coming' actually means I am moving towards you currently in UK English |
Re: Pls Help, I Am 3 Months Plus Pregnant And Not Ready by baby124: 11:44am On Jun 28, 2013 |
REALITY101: Morning after pill is not chewing gum. It should not replace birth control. It is to be used for emergency situations like a condom bursting once in a while. Just wanted to put that information out there. If used too frequently, it may have bad effects on the user. Too strong to be used frequently. |
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