maclatunji:

Madam, many girls aged 12-13 expect to be chased in Nigeria. You will be shocked to know.

To the best of my knowledge, most are not.

However, it could depend on environment, like i mentioned before.

Also, things might have changed.

hayubee: Jazakallahu karyrih fidunnyaa wal ahkira (amin) @ op

Alfa....

deols:

From this, I know that you got what I am driving at.

and still, I disagree with your method. Maybe I should already let go but pardon me pls.


Education wise(madrassah inclusive), I dont see how a girl doesnt have what a guy has. In fact, I believe that they have equal opportunities. Now, we may be talking of different environments. so, that'll pass.


As to giving the girl more attention, with it, we'll end up having a future of responsible girls with no equally responsible men to match.

It is already happening.

I heard yesterday of a family who wouldn't allow their son marry a particular girl because she's been coming to sleep with him in their house. All the while that she's been coming, they didnt complain. Marriage comes into the discussion and they realise that their irresponsible son deserves a responsible girl. It is now generally acceptable that a girl is the one who must be chaste, must be respectable, must learn to cook, etc while the boy looks on or plays on or becomes an NFA member.


My point remains that, whatever training, attention, madrassah fees, etc that a girl is getting, a boy should also be getting. It should be seen as a normal thing to get among the children and not what a girl gets and a boy doesnt deserve.

I do appreciate your perspective, i think we do agree to a greater extent, so its all good.

My fears are natural, i now understand, sincerity and giving the best at my disposal not forgetting the prayer factor is all i need to do as a dutiful father...

I look foward to having both male and female children, righteous and dedicated Muslims in shaa Allah.

deols:

From this, I know that you got what I am driving at.

and still, I disagree with your method. Maybe I should already let go but pardon me pls.


Education wise(madrassah inclusive), I dont see how a girl doesnt have what a guy has. In fact, I believe that they have equal opportunities. Now, we may be talking of different environments. so, that'll pass.


As to giving the girl more attention, with it, we'll end up having a future of responsible girls with no equally responsible men to match.

It is already happening.

I heard yesterday of a family who wouldn't allow their son marry a particular girl because she's been coming to sleep with him in their house. All the while that she's been coming, they didnt complain. Marriage comes into the discussion and they realise that their irresponsible son deserves a responsible girl. It is now generally acceptable that a girl is the one who must be chaste, must be respectable, must learn to cook, etc while the boy looks on or plays on or becomes an NFA member.


My point remains that, whatever training, attention, madrassah fees, etc that a girl is getting, a boy should also be getting. It should be seen as a normal thing to get among the children and not what a girl gets and a boy doesnt deserve.

Very articulate.

maclatunji:

Very articulate.

thank you

@tbaba
Jazakum-llah khaeran
It is indeed a good message

deols:

thank you

You are welcome.

sino:



I understand you perfectly, i cherish positive thinking and i'm also an advocate for it, even though i know my destiny has been sealed, only prayers can change it, the reason i am praying and continue to pray that Allah Blesses me with righteous children (prayer is also positive thinking).

omo naija ni mi o...

i'm not advocating positive thinking [i'm not into that, especially with negative thinking reigning these days, much better to acknowledge that than live in denial].

what i meant is what you say or believe will also affect your interaction with others.

for example, going back to the post in question [sorry to bring it up again], if you have the mindset that daughters will give you stress, its likely they will, since you will relate with them in that fashion.

let's say a woman has bad experiences with or hears bad things about men and relates with her sons in a manner that reflects her negative opinion of the male gender. Chances are she will do so even without meaning to, because she feels a bad vibe when she sees men, her sons included.

hope you get my point? Not sure if its clear.

Its not positive thinking, but your own perception of how you want to view something.

tpia@:



i'm not advocating positive thinking [i'm not into that, especially with negative thinking reigning these days, much better to acknowledge that than live in denial].

what i meant is what you say or believe will also affect your interaction with others.

for example, going back to the post in question [sorry to bring it up again], if you have the mindset that daughters will give you stress, its likely they will, since you will relate with them in that fashion.

let's say a woman has bad experiences with or hears bad things about men and relates with her sons in a manner that reflects her negative opinion of the male gender. Chances are she will do so even without meaning to, because she feels a bad vibe when she sees men, her sons included.

hope you get my point? Not sure if its clear.

Its not positive thinking, but your own perception of how you want to view something.

I think it's the same thing, our thoughts are the foundation of our perception or to better put, they influence our perception and hence our action.
"For every action, there is an intention and every man will get what he intended..." Prophet(SAW)
"The ancestor of every action is a thought"Ralph Waldo Emerson...We can easily say, we are what we think.

I do understand your point, and it is very true. I am going to stress positive thinking cos of your statement "i'm not advocating positive thinking"

My initial thoughts were negative, which affected my perception of female children, all i need to do is to change my thought patterns to positive to get the right perception, like Mac said, i should look more at the prospects rather than the challenges of raising a female child.

My perception(thoughts) would affect what happens to me and how i would react to them, which is the basis of the law of attraction, like attract like...

As a muslim, i understand this natural phenomenon perfectly through the hadith of the Prophet(SAW) when he said, "Strange are the ways of a believer, for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shown resignation(and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it."

A person who thinks positively would show gratitude when good comes his way, and will show patience during adversity, he is perpetually in good spirit. Positive thinking is not running away from reality or not acknowledging the negativity we face, rather it's a better option than dwelling on the negative things that befalls us which would in turn affect our perception of things and lead us to live a wretched life.

All ye my people, let us relax.

I made an error earlier, in Surah Saffat, Ibrahim specifically asked for a son. Ismail.
Totally slipped my mind.

[color=#770077][/color]Alhamdlh,,,am proud ov wat i am,a lady indeed,thats wat Allah has dèstined0[center]Alhamdlh,,,am proud ov wat i am,a lady indeed,thats wat Allah has dèstined0[/center]Alhamdlh,,,am proud ov wat i am,a lady indeed,thats wat Allah has dèstined0

Bobbystanley: An Ibo man like me is ready to do anything to have a male child..female children are not regarded as members of the family because they will marry elsewhere..
Who will inherit my Landed properties and wealth if I don't have a male child?
My enemies will eat the fruit of my labour?(Tufiakwa)
AHAMEFUNA

I bow for you oh

People like you will expect ur wife to come with material blessings n favors

Users

dasparrow:

@Bolded

Is that all you care about? So many Nigerian males - quite a few who are Igbos by the way - are rottening away in far away jails in Asia and around the world due to drug trafficking. Now who will the parents of this convicted drug traffickers pass their properties to? What of those who gave birth and raised their male children overseas in Europe and USA and these children are now grown up and have no intentions of ever living in Africa, who will the parents pass on the property to? What of those who gave birth to male children but they died before their parents, who will the parents give their properties to? Your mindset has no room in this 21st century.

@Post

Nice thread!

I like this post
People like that tempt God with useless attitudes
Can you create life,,, yet u say female children are not It

Tragic

tbaba1234:

Whenever there is a prayer for a child in the Quran , it is never specific. It is better to pray for a righteous child than to pray for the sex of a child. We are taught how to make duas in the Quran.

The other problem with this, is that once praying for a particular sex, we are not asking for what is the best for us and we lose sight of the blessing the other child. A man who raises 3 girls right, is going to jannah even if he had no boy.

Best thing, pray for the gift of both but do not despair if you are given just one sex.

Good one
Instead of praying for a healthy child that will take care of you, na gender u dey focus on...