my fellow nairalanders,I need you to tell me if i am thinking straight.myself and my fiancee started dating 4years ago and we are taking each step one after the other as .Since i met the man in my life,i know i can never love anyone like i love him.I gave my all,sincerity,obedience,honesty,all that a man wants from a woman.my office is far from where my fiancee resides and for this reason i only go over to his house over the weekend and very recent i noticed his ex girlfriend has the key to the house that i dont ve. When i asked him he said she had it before they broke up 5years ago,i told him to get the key from her or change the locks but all i get is excuses. his ex has been a constant issue and he gives me excuses that she comes around because she does not have any relationship and she sees him as a best friend and mentor. I just feel i ve tried my best to condole this nonsense.It is bad to the stage that the girl sleeps over. I feel so sad writing this as i love my man so so much,but i want to take the step of walking away from the relationship.my sister advise me that if i walk way and he knows he loves me and he is not ready to end our relationship because of his ex he will put things right.please advise,i am so confused. I was looking forward to our wedding date but now all am looking at is walking away as coping is now a serious issue for me.

well, the NL Elites will soon be here

then on my 2nd personal thinking, ur sist may n on point. i'm a guy but i dn't support d activity of ur man. walk, if he comes gv him options, u or she period

Two Possibilities

1)
You are his real woman, he is just using the other one as a sex object and back up.

The only problem with this is just that will you like to marry a cheating man, if your answer is NO, then it's time you call it quit. That man will bring a harlot to his matrimonial bed when you aren't around (that's if you marry him).

2) The ex is the real woman and you are his back up, so he is likely to dump you when he is done with you.

My 2cent
The ball is in your court., the odds are against you in both cases, save yourself the heart ache, move on, I know it's not easy, but that's the best option you have and if you chose not to act, the latter part of that relationship will be sourer than you can imagine.

You call him your man, are you sleeping on a bike? The other woman is not an ex..thats the real girl. you are just the side chic and he is decieveing you. better run and fast. Do you think giving your woman your house key is moi-moi. once a woman gets to that stage, then slowly and steadily, she is secure. better go and find your own man.

The brilliant romance guys have spoken. Ignore at your own peril and observe, you might not regret.

very simple,tell him to choose,u or d other girl and if he does nt want to,qiut

clemz85: well, the NL Elites will soon be here

k2039: Two Possibilities

1)
You are his real woman, he is just using the other one as a sex object and back up.

The only problem with this is just that will you like to marry a cheating man, if your answer is NO, then it's time you call it quit. That man will bring a harlot to his matrimonial bed when you aren't around (that's if you marry him).

2) The ex is the real woman and you are his back up, so he is likely to dump you when he is done with you.

My 2cent
The ball is in your court., the odds are against you in both cases, save yourself the heart ache, move on, I know it's not easy, but that's the best option you have and if you chose not to act, the latter part of that relationship will be sourer than you can imagine.

Elite no. 1

Davidoff2000: You call him your man, are you sleeping on a bike? The other woman is not an ex..thats the real girl. you are just the side chic and he is decieveing you. better run and fast. Do you think giving your woman your house key is moi-moi. once a woman gets to that stage, then slowly and steadily, she is secure. better go and find your own man.

Elite no. 2

@ bolded. . . GO AND FIND YOUR OWN MAN.

eemm. . . try and download some hardcore rock music while you're at it. It will soothe your emotional trauma. AVOID SLOW MUSIC i'm serious it will make you cry too much

au revoir

what i would like to know is if the other woman knows about you? does she come around when you are there for the weekend? are you friendly with her? does she know you and that guy have marriage plans? have you ever thought about confronting her?

All i see here is the wailings of a side chick. Madam, wake up and run fast! Don't waste time with a man that can't choose what he wants.

OP, walk!

it might have started that you were his no. 1 but when the ex came back, you got relegated. he has been using you for a long time. you dont want the poo pouring all over you without warning sis.

and like someone noted, avoid slow (love) songs. they make things harder.

Woop! woop!!... Its obvious ur so called man is capitalizing on ur sincerity! Ur been used as a back up, the one u labelled ex is the real babe!...even a nursery pupil knows the answer to this riddle.. Dear, I know u're deep into him, u've got two life lines...
(1)Sacrifice the pain of walking away(just for the moment),find peace elsewhere
(2)Manage the pain of living with a cheat for the rest of ur life....


a for apple
B for ball
C for cat
.
.
T for trouble
W for walk away

#in craig David's voice# *am walking away...from the trouble in my life, am walking away.....* la la lala lala*

You said "they broke up 5 years ago". Erm, sounds to me like they're still together ooo ...because she's still lingering around and he's allowing it.

She has the keys to his house (she obviously goes over there more than you do) and you don't, she sleeps over at his house and worst of all, he's making excuses for her! He shouldn't be making any excuses for her.

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark". -S

How old are you?

Everyone has said it, you're clearly being played.
In most cases guys are not in touch with exs from 5 years ago, talk less of them having their house keys, even if he is not going out with her (WHICH I HIGHLY DOUBT) he is clearly shinning her congo.
Dump that guy sharp sharp, he is clearly using the fact that you can't be there often as an excuse to cheat on you