Is she happy under your roof?

I was brought up in a family where respect is held in high esteem, you must respect everybody around you for who they are and their opinion, you must respect those that are older than you even if it is by a day.

Growing up with such mentality makes it easier for me to respect everybody that comes my way, irrespective of age, sex, tribe, color, race, religion, educational qualification, social status and so on.

But of recent, when I began the counseling job officially, I have discovered that women should be respected in an extra ordinary way, especially the married ones (others too must be respected irrespective of their age).

I discovered that married women are fighting a lot of issues that makes their mood change very often and men are not always patient enough to understand them, thereby calling them names and disrespecting them.

For women to start a relationship and end up in marriage, a lot of things must have gone behind the man (behind the scenes) like parents and siblings dissatisfaction about the man in question, friends dissatisfaction, ex resurfacing, religious/faith incompatibility, tribe, educational qualification, family status and influence and so on. The lady must have passed through a lot without allowing the 'husband to be' to know much about them.

Going into marriage, she will always want to please the husband, her inlaws, husband friends and relatives and at the same time thinking about how to prove all those that are waiting for her doom in marriage wrong that she is in it for good.
She will think about how to conceive and become a mother (as if she is God), if the pregnancy stays, she will be anxious to finish the nine months course, fighting against miscarriage, she have to deal with all the trimesters all alone.
If the pregnancy is not staying, she begin to run helter-skelter, from spiritual to physicians, most of which husbands don't know. She'll start fighting against pressure from the inlaws, her parents, friends, colleagues, neighbours, husband (some that are not considerate) and personal anxiety.

Few months to delivery, she'll start thinking of how to prepare for the baby, the upbringing, how to train the child and how to secure a better future for the child. She'll think about how to manage and stand in for the husband if resources are not enough.

If she is a career woman, she will have to deal with the home front, satisfying the husband in all ramification, taking good care of the child(ren), balancing her relationship with her inlaws and trying to be in line so as not to be in their black book, dealing with boss at work, trying to study further so as to keep moving career wise, so as not to remain stagnant, dealing with intimidations and competition among colleagues.

When the children are growing, she start thinking about how to cope with the maturity stage (which is the most complex stage), the puberty, the curiosity of the teenagers to know more and the request for freedom, she'll balance all these with spiritual activities, just to make sure things are on the track.

She will fight and guide against the 'Unknown' woman who is taking all the attention of her husband, have to balanve it with the home front.

What about the pains that comes with the menstration? What about the memories of the man that took advantage of her because she was innocent? What about the memories of her first love that broke her heart? What about her friend that went at the back to snatch her husband/boy friend? What about those that have been fighting against the memories of incest, where their fathers use to have sex with them? What of the memories of the first abortion? The memories of the first sex? The memories of the teacher, uncle, nephew, neighbor, Pastor, Daddy's friend, brother's friend, friend's brothers that took advantage of her and those people are still walking without justice?

It is a pity that some men will still take their woman for granted, abuse them (physically and verbally), molest them, ridicule them, hate them, beat them and some even killed them despite all these they are fighting against. Some men are who they are today because of the impacts of their wives', some men are driving the car that was bought by their wives', some are spending lavishly on girlfriends with the money that belongs to the wife, some are making use of the connections of their wives to brag about in the society, some are sleeping in a house that was built by their wives' or rented by the woman, some men don't know the name of the school their child(ren) attend, some men don't know how much is the school fees, some men don't know how much is UTME form or when it is even out, some men are not care about the upbringing of their children educationally, morally and spiritually, some are wearing the clotthes that was bought by their wives and eat the
food bought, prepared and make available by their wives'!

Why can't men make their wives happy? Why are men contributing to the emotional trauma their wives' are passing through? Why can't men love their wives' and make them happy under their roof? Why are men so self centred and greedy? Why are men so blind to reason and see that these women are fighting a lot of unseen and emotional wars that need someone to just be there for them? Why are men so insensitive to know when their wives' are passing through a phase and instead of lending a helping hand, they contribute to the woes?

Why! why!! why!!!

Make sure you do all you can to make her happy, she needs you more than anybody, she believe her joy peace and rest of mind will be with you when she decided to marry you, she believed you can love her and understand her more than her father and brothers, she believe you alone can provide the shoulders she can lean on, she so much believe in you.

Please reciprocate that love today and respect her!

The Listening Ears Counseling Group
www.listeningears.net

Wow... Though not yet married, but i know my wife will always be the happiest person on earth cos i'll never make her cry...

This is so so so beautiful, you must have been raised by a Queen.

Well,like de said it's d mens' world,even when d woman proves beyond every reasonable doubt dat she loves her man,he will still have eyes for the single ladies.

u guyz ar 2 much plz jip t up

This is so real and tru
U touched virtually every spheres of a woman's live.
May God bless u with that woman who would make ur home heaven on earth.

My brother well done well done

I believe its a two-way street. both man and wife must assume their roles responsibly.