Women's English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should
be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you slowpoke!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you
sweat a lot
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby
thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new
house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and
furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost
asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something
expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something
today you're going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and
find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree
with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]
Men's English:
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually
like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like
to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to
have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to
have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I
want to handle you
What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted
psychological trauma is it now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the
question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now!
I love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have
sex
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it
better before
Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a
deep guy then maybe sex?
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for
you to have sex with others