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Stats: 1,927,232 members, 3,967,065 topics. Date: Wednesday, 13 December 2017 at 01:48 PM

Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego - Jokes Etc (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego (772006 Views)

AKPOS JOKES, JOKE AFRICA update! / 24/7 Nigeria Jokes Update / Real Funny Nigeria Jokes (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Yeske2(m): 3:24am On Sep 13, 2013
njuwo: Ekaitte went to the store to buy a parrot
trained in the USA and asks
the sales person;
"What's so special about this parrot ?"
Sales person says:
"This parrot is a genius and can answer any
question"
Ekaitte asks the parrot;
"How do I look?"
The parrot replies;
"You look like a fuckin slut?"
Ekaitte gets pissed off and tells the sales
person that its a very rude
parrot and she cannot buy it despite it
was trained in the USA.
The sales person tells Ekaitte to wait for 2
mins...
The sales person takes the parrot to the back
of the store and
shoves the parrot into a bucket of water
and when he pulls the
parrot out he says;
"if you disrespect the lady out there again
i'll soak you back in water" and takes the
parrot back to the store.
Th sales person apologized to Ekaitte and
says she can ask the
parrot another question.
Ekaitte: "If I come home with one man
what would you think?" Parrot: "He's your
husband"
Ekaitte: "Two men?"
Parrot: "Your husband and his brother"
Ekaitte: "Three men?"
Parrot: "Your husband, his brother and
your brother" Ekaitte: "Four men?"
At this time the Parrot turns to the Sales
person and says:
"Bring back the bleeping bucket of water
I already told you she's a
slut!!!"

1 Like 3 Shares

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 10:07am On Sep 13, 2013
Dad: Uncle coming to collect the money i
owed him. When he comes, tell him i have
travelled to Benin.
Akpors: Yes Dad
Uncle:Where is your father?
Akpors: He has travelled to Benin.
Uncle: When is he coming back?
Akpors: Wait, let me go and ask him?
Boy: Dad, Uncle said when are you coming
back?
Dad: Tell him next week pa friday.
Akpors ran back and said:
Uncle, my dad said i should tell you that he
wil
be bak next week.
Uncle: ok, go and tell him that if he comes
bak
next week, he should let me know.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by SamuelKure(m): 12:38pm On Sep 13, 2013
4 men – a Mark, Bismark, George and Akpors
were being interviewed for a top job.
The President decided to carry a test, with
each candidate being asked the same
question and the best answer would get
them the job.
The next morning, first up was Mark.
“Here’s your question,” said the President
“What’s the fastest thing in the world?”
Without hesitation, he replied “A thought,
because it takes no time at all.” “Very good
answer,” said the President.
Next up was the George, “What’s the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. “A blink,” replied George “cos
you don’t think about a blink. It’s a reflex.”
“Good answer,” replied the president.
Next was Bismark, “What’s the fastest
thing in the world?” asked the president.
Bismark thought for a moment, “Electricity,
because you can flip a switch and 20 miles
away a light will go on immediately.”
“That’s a great answer,” replied the president.
Finally, it was Akpors' turn. “What's the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. Scratching his head Akpors
replied: “Running Stomach, because last
night after eating, I was lying on my bed
when I got these stomach pains and before I
could think, blink or turn on the light, IT
DROPPED.
Be the judge who would u employ??4 men – a Mark, Bismark, George and Akpors
were being interviewed for a top job.
The President decided to carry a test, with
each candidate being asked the same
question and the best answer would get
them the job.
The next morning, first up was Mark.
“Here’s your question,” said the President
“What’s the fastest thing in the world?”
Without hesitation, he replied “A thought,
because it takes no time at all.” “Very good
answer,” said the President.
Next up was the George, “What’s the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. “A blink,” replied George “cos
you don’t think about a blink. It’s a reflex.”
“Good answer,” replied the president.
Next was Bismark, “What’s the fastest
thing in the world?” asked the president.
Bismark thought for a moment, “Electricity,
because you can flip a switch and 20 miles
away a light will go on immediately.”
“That’s a great answer,” replied the president.
Finally, it was Akpors' turn. “What's the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. Scratching his head Akpors
replied: “Running Stomach, because last
night after eating, I was lying on my bed
when I got these stomach pains and before I
could think, blink or turn on the light, IT
DROPPED.
Be the judge who would u employ??
4 men – a Mark, Bismark, George and Akpors
were being interviewed for a top job.
The President decided to carry a test, with
each candidate being asked the same
question and the best answer would get
them the job.
The next morning, first up was Mark.
“Here’s your question,” said the President
“What’s the fastest thing in the world?”
Without hesitation, he replied “A thought,
because it takes no time at all.” “Very good
answer,” said the President.
Next up was the George, “What’s the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. “A blink,” replied George “cos
you don’t think about a blink. It’s a reflex.”
“Good answer,” replied the president.
Next was Bismark, “What’s the fastest
thing in the world?” asked the president.
Bismark thought for a moment, “Electricity,
because you can flip a switch and 20 miles
away a light will go on immediately.”
“That’s a great answer,” replied the president.
Finally, it was Akpors' turn. “What's the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. Scratching his head Akpors
replied: “Running Stomach, because last
night after eating, I was lying on my bed
when I got these stomach pains and before I
could think, blink or turn on the light, IT
DROPPED.
Be the judge who would u employ??

3 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by SamuelKure(m): 12:39pm On Sep 13, 2013
njuwo: 4 men – a Mark, Bismark, George and Akpors
were being interviewed for a top job.
The President decided to carry a test, with
each candidate being asked the same
question and the best answer would get
them the job.
The next morning, first up was Mark.
“Here’s your question,” said the President
“What’s the fastest thing in the world?”
Without hesitation, he replied “A thought,
because it takes no time at all.” “Very good
answer,” said the President.
Next up was the George, “What’s the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. “A blink,” replied George “cos
you don’t think about a blink. It’s a reflex.”
“Good answer,” replied the president.
Next was Bismark, “What’s the fastest
thing in the world?” asked the president.
Bismark thought for a moment, “Electricity,
because you can flip a switch and 20 miles
away a light will go on immediately.”
“That’s a great answer,” replied the president.
Finally, it was Akpors' turn. “What's the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. Scratching his head Akpors
replied: “Running Stomach, because last
night after eating, I was lying on my bed
when I got these stomach pains and before I
could think, blink or turn on the light, IT
DROPPED.
Be the judge who would u employ??
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:01pm On Sep 13, 2013
I was coming home saturday evening
after a hectic day and found a small bag on
the ground. I opened it and behold what I
found inside; $20,000 dollars!! Fear first
catch me, but I took the bag home and
when ...I emptied It, I found some
Documents, ID card, ATM card and an Iphone.
I thought about
throwing the sim away and keep the phone
and also dispose the documents and keep
the money. After a long thought, I decided to
leave things as they were, hoping that the
owner would call.
Not long after a call came through on the
Iphone, I picked and talked with the caller.
Apparently it was the owner of the bag coz
he named absolutely every content of the
bag. We met afterwards and i handed him
the bag. he offered me $2,000 dollars but I
turned it down , he collected my number
and
i left.
Yesterday he called me and offered me a
job
at Chevron worth 750,000 Naira per month,
a 3 bedroom flat fully furnished, and a 2012
BMW X6
As I was smiling and testing the
car my brother just slapped me and said
"Oya Oya Oya Ofego Wake up!! Food is ready!"

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by engroke(m): 8:18pm On Sep 14, 2013
njuwo: DIFFERENCE BTW A FOREIGN ADVICE AND A
NIGERIA ADVICE !
Hello, my name is Sandra Stone, I'm from Uk, i
love my husband so much and i do anything
to please
him on bed.. i even suck his dick too but he
has refused to suck mine.. pls advice me how
to tell him to go down on me cos i really want
my pussy juice sucked.
Comments
* James silva : I think u need to talk to him,
marriage is communication.
* Sarah water : Oh my dear,sorry abt that.. ve
bin in ur shoes before .. i told him right away
when we were aving sex and he is an expert
in it
* Micheal paper : I get downwt my wife, its
cool i love doing it.. u shud talk to ur husband.
NIGERIAN PAGE !
My name is Aminat, i stay in Abuja, married
wta kid, my husband have refused to suck my
p***y,
what shud i do.. No insults abeg
COMMENTS
* Dayo muyiwa : Fool, sex na food?
* Nkiru joy : Yu are a disgrace to
womanhood..sham e on u
* Idris kunle : Any news abt Assu strike?
* Toheeb sule : If u want i can suck for u call
my no 0708312455
* Funmi Leye: I no blame u at all better go
findsomtn do wt ur life, suck koor, soakaway
nii
* Richard oke : Abeg who get bb charger
* Amaka Achebe : U r a prostitute, u need
deliverance!
seun dogo from magodo: END TIME TINZ, dancing skelewu and sipping shepe

3 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 12:27pm On Sep 15, 2013
Akpors has been dating and spending
money
on Ekaitte for long,he picked up her phone
one day and got to know that his name has
bin saved as MAGA 32,eehe!,see gobe,here
is
what he did o.
He made a fake call,make sure she was
hearing his voice from where she was.this
was his conversation with his fake caller:
Akpors:Hello baba,dat gurl u said i shuld be
giving money,i don dey give am o,infact i
don
dey see result,the more she spend the
money,the more i become rich,bt wen wil
she
die?ehn no problem,infact, i wan give am
more money today.
Ekaittesadjumps out from the kitchen)
ehm,akpors,all d money wey u borrow me,i
knw say na borrow u borrow me,abeg i
wan
return am all,abeg no vex 4 me,abeg i go
even
add put,jst calculate am make i know.

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 9:26am On Sep 16, 2013
This is one of the great difference of a
Nigeria guy and an America dude using the
ATM. Let's first take a look on how an
american guy use the ATM in the mid-
night! ........the america guy drives his car
towards the ATM machine,and he gets
down
leaves his car keys on the ignition,picks up
his ATM card gets down from his ride walks
down to the ATM machine whistling
(attracting more hears)then he inserthis
ATM card into the machine and type the
amount he wants to collect still
whistling,then he widraw the money and
walks to his car!counting the money as he
walks!then he zoom off!!...... But when the
nigeria guy wants to receive some money
from the ATM at NIGHT,he drives towards
the ATM machine,stops for a while,then he
observe the people around,switch off his
ignition!roll the glass up,and roll up his
sleeves if he wears a shirt,lock his car and
keep his key in the inner pocket then get
down from the car! Tip-top to the ATM
looking at his back,sides and even up!He
looks around for 2 minutes and insert his
ATM card into the machine,type the amount
he wants to collect,then he looks back!after
spending abound 20 minutes! He returns to
the ATM about to receive the money he
heard the sound of a car pass,he gets
shocked,he retrieved his card and ran back
to his car without fulfilling his mission and
zoom off in fright.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:38am On Sep 18, 2013
Teacher: "who is the minister of
education?"
Children: "Mrs Dame Patience Jonathan"
Teacher: "who is CBN governor?"
Children: "Aliko Dangote"
Teacher; "who is the minister for
information?".
Children: "Mike Adenuga"
Teacher; "who is the minister for sports.
Children: "Stephen keshi".
Teacher: "Correct!
Teacher: "who composed the national
anthem of Nigeria"
Children: "wizkid"
Teacher: "correct"what is 2+5?
Children: "25"
Teacher:- "correct"
Teacher:- "what is the capital of Nigeria?"
Children: "Abia-umuahia "
Teacher:-"corre ct,
Who is d president of nigeria?".
Children. "General Muhammadu Buhari"
Teacher. "Correct!
Teacher: "Who stopped the killing of twins".
Children: "Psquare"
Teacher: "correct!who is the minister for
women affairs"
Children: "Genevieve Nnaji"
Teacher. "Correct, Who is d governor of
Anambra state?
Children. "Baba Tunde Fashola"
Teacher. "Correct!"
Teacher:- "Good! Clap for yourselves...
(children claps)
Teacher: It's gonna Remain like that until
government increases my salary!!!

4 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:41am On Sep 18, 2013
Teacher: Emeka,which country would you
love
to go when you grow up?
Emeka: America.
Teacher: Obi,what about you?.
Obi: Australia.
Teacher: And you?, david.
David: kenya.
Teacher: what about you,akpos?.
Akpos: i would not love to go to anywhere.
Teacher: hmm..Well,block heads dont go to
anywhere because they have nothing in
thier
brain.
Akpos: ma,can i ask you a question?.
Teacher: yes.
Akpos: when did you finish your youth
service as a corper?.
Teacher: since 2009.
Akpos: then why are you still in
nigeria,teachin g?. Why not find a better
job..
Well,block head's dont get better job,they
rather decide to teach people like them..

3 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:05pm On Sep 18, 2013
An armed robber broke into a house and
found a couple sitting at a table room.
pointing the gun he said,," let me know
the .names of my victims before i kill them..
WIFE: I am Martha
ROBBER: oh holy poo! my mother's name
Martha.. i cant kill Martha...(point ing the gun)
and u??
HUSBAND: Am Joseph,,,but all my friends call
me Martha i swear
hit like if u smile

80 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:06am On Sep 19, 2013
OLD AND NEW TITLES
Garden Boy : Landscape Executive Officer
(LEO)
*House Maid : House Upkeep Manager
(HUM)
*Receptionist : Office Access Control
Manager
(OACM)
... *Typist : Printed Document Handler (PDH)
*Messenger : Business Communications
Conveyer
(BCC)
*Window Cleaner : Transparent Wall
Technician
(TWT)
*Temporary Teacher : Associate Tutor (AT)
*Tea Boy : Refreshment Specialist (RS)
*Garbage Collector : Public Sanitation
Engineer
(PSE)
*Watchman : Theft Prevention and
Surveillance
Officer (TPSO)
*Thief : Wealth Distribution Expert (WDE)
*Driver : Automobile Propulsion Specialist
(APS)
*Maid : Domestic Operations Specialist (DOS)
*Employee without Portfolio :
Administration
Manager (AM)
*Cook : Food Preparation Officer (FPO)
Do Not Forget
*Unemployed : Town Surveyor (TS)
*Gossiper : Research Manager (RM)

14 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:05pm On Sep 19, 2013
After 24 years of marriage, a wife accuses her
husband
WIFE: Ever since we got married he has never
uttered the words "I love you".
JUDGE: Is this true?
HUSBAND: Yes! Ever since I told her on our
wedding day that I love her, I have not
changed my mind.
What should be the Judge's verdict?

3 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:01pm On Sep 19, 2013
Pls,I need 2 ask u somtin dat has kept me
sleepless.It myt be awkward b/w us afta
dis,bt i hv 2 knw hw u feel.I hv kept it in
mind
4 a while now bt i tink it's finaly tym i
straighten up & confront u,i jst hop dis
doesnt ruin our frndship,i need 2 knw & i
dnt
knw any oda way i cld get ova dis.It jst
doesnt
seem fair on me if i dnt get an answer.I wnt
u
2 tel me truthfuly no matter hw harsh it is,al
i
need is ur honest answer.Pls hw much is
pure
water in ur area

19 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 10:02am On Sep 20, 2013
HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
WIFE: At home love.
HUSBAND: Are you sure?
WIFE: Yes.
HUSBAND: Turn on the blender.
WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye. Another day
HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
WIFE: At home love
HUSBAND: Are you sure?
WIFE: Yes
HUSBAND: Turn on the blender
WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye The next day,
the husband decides to go
home without notice, and finds his son
alone and he asked him son where is
your mother? SON: I don't know, she went
out with the
blender.

15 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 11:07am On Sep 20, 2013
A lady and Akpos were having
drinks at the bar.
Later that night the woman
whispered
to Akpos,
"LET'S GO TO MY PLACE". So they left.
At the woman's
place they started kissing
and
undressing each other, then
the lady
whispered in the sexiest voice,
"TIE ME ON THE BED AND DO WHAT
U DO BEST"
Akpos tied her on the bed
and...
and...
ran away with her TV, Laptop, Blackberry,
ipad and iphone.

9 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 2:01pm On Sep 20, 2013
Akpos was working on a crane,
suddenly he slipped off.
While falling, he held on to a branch and
started yelling for
help, but no one came. At the point of giving
up he said 'God pls help me, i'll listen to u
henceforth', then he heard a voice
calling his name:
God: Akpos!
Akpos: Who is that?
God: It's me, your Father Lord God.
Akpos: Yes Lord, i know u'd help me.
God: Whatever i say, u'll do?
Akpos: Yes Lord. I'll do anything u say.
God: Ok, let go off d branch!
Akpos: Noo what did you just say?
God: I said let go off d branch.
Akpos: Abeg, carry ur own go. Any other
person to help me? heeeeelp!!!!
One word for Akpos??

4 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 3:02pm On Sep 20, 2013
A newly wedded girl was being welcomed
at the husband’s home in a traditional
manner.
She was asked to give a little speech.
She addressed as follows:
“My dear family members, I thank you for
welcoming me in my new home and family“,
she said “Firstly, with my presence i would
not want to create any
inconveniences by my being here. I mean
that I don’t want you all to
change your way of life, your routine.“
“What do you mean my child?” asked her
Mother-In-Law.
What i mean is:
Those who used to wash dishes must carry
on washing them. Those who used to do
the laundry must carry on doing it. Those
who cook shouldn’t stop on my account.
Those who used
to clean should continue cleaning.
As for me, I am here just to control
your son!.

7 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 3:58pm On Sep 20, 2013
Akpos: MTN people are eating our money
too much.
Girlfriend: Yes the stealing is too much.
Akpos: I got an idea, instead of using
phone,
why don't we use a pigeon in sending
messages like the old time,
just tie your message to it's leg if you want
to reply.
Girlfriend: I like what is in your head.
After an hour of waiting, Akpos' girlfriend
saw the pigeon in the window,
she checked it's
leg's but nothing there, she sent it back, just
a few minutes it
comes back, she
quickly grabs it but to her disapointment no
message again, she
sent it back.
After some few minutes, she opened the
window for the pigeon to come in, she
checked it's legs but still no message.
With much anger, she headed to Akpos'
house and shouted
"Akpos come here, you idiot, you said you
will send message through this pigeon but
why
the three times it came to me, no message?.
Akpos: You don't get it...It's 3 missed calls
not message.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 3:02pm On Sep 21, 2013
Why I got divorced....
Sad story of AKPOS !!
Last week was my birthday.... My wife didn't
wish me.... My parents forgot and so did my
kids....
I went to work.. Even my colleagues didn't
wish me..
As I entered my cabin my secretary said,
"Happy
Birthday Boss"..
I felt so special.... She asked me out to lunch....
After lunch, she invited me to her apartment....
i felt
she wanted sex , without hesitating i agreed
WE went there....
She said, "Do you mind if i go into
the bedroom for a minute ?"
"OKAY", I said....
She came out 5minutes later with a
cake And My Wife, My Parents, My Kids, My
Friends &
My Colleagues....
All Screaming, SURPRISE....
And
.
.
.
.
.
I was waiting on the sofa Unclad....

22 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by malachypepe: 3:35pm On Sep 21, 2013
Naija the only place where
Where a man Happily meet a lady and
when she
goes back to her friends, their only
question was "Is
the guy loaded?
Where a blind beggar will reject a
fake naira note.
Where Groundnuts are sold in Bottles
& Waters
sold in Satchets.
Where You Can Be A Driver For Years
Without A
'DRIVER's LICENCE'
Where Presidents and other
government officials
don't know the national anthem.
Where the Police on a road block makes
more
money a day than motorist and their
owners.
Where you are jailed for stealing
Maggi and yam
and others given a chieftancy title for
stealing billions
and Front row seat in churches.
Where we fight for everything. To
gain admission
to university, to get a job and to enter a
bus!

1 Like

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:16pm On Sep 21, 2013
A husband comes home drunk, vomits and
falls down on the floor.
His wife pulls him up
and cleans everything.
The Next day when he gets up, he expects her
to
be really angry with him…
He prays that they
would not have a fight.. to his surprise, he
finds a note near the table that reads:
“Honey, your breakfast is ready on the table, i
had to leave early to buy groceries. I love
you.”
He asks his son about what happened last
night, his son tells him:
When mom pulled you to bed and tried
removing your boots and shirt. You were
dead drunk and you said… “Hey lady! Leave
me alone… I’m married!

35 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:08pm On Sep 21, 2013
Akpos called his gf on
phone upto 10times but
his gf did not want to
pick his call.
So an idea flashed into
akpos head,he boughta
recharge card. Send it to
his gf phone number,but
he removed 2 digit
number of the recharge
card.
When his gf saw the
card,she was happy and
copied it down then load
it..and it was shownto
her that the pin she is
trying to load does not
exist.
She called akpos
number.
Gf: Helo honey,you
forgot to put the last 2
digits when sending.
Akpos: idiot! You also
forgot to pick my call
when i called you.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 2:07pm On Sep 22, 2013
A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl!
He kicks the dog, it dies!
Newspapers report
"LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM DOG"
Man says i'm not American
Report changed
"Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog"
Man says:
Actually I'm Pakistani
Breaking News:
"Terrorist killed Innocent Dog which was
playing with a girl"

24 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 3:49pm On Sep 22, 2013
A man was about to check into the Sheraton
hotel when he noticed a very beautiful
woman staring admiringly at him.
He walked over and spoke with her for a few
minutes, then returned to the front desk,
where they checked in as Mr. and Mrs.
After a very pleasurable three day stay, d man
approached the front desk and told the clerk
he was checking out. In a few minutes, he
was handed a bill for N450,000.
"There must be some mistake," d man said.
"I've been here for only three days."
"Yes, sir," the clerk replied. "But your wife has
been here a month and a half."

9 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:54pm On Sep 22, 2013
A couple received a
letter from their
daughter who went to
study modern physics
overseas, the letter
read:
"My beloved Parents, I
miss you so much and it
breaks my heart to
think that by the time I
get back you'll be too
old. So enclosed you'll
find a bottle of potion I
have invented. It will
make you young, so
when I return you'll be
the same age as I left
you.
NOTE: Please take only a
drop"
So they opened the
envelope and in it there
is a bottle with a red
potion. the man looked
at the wife and says:
"You go first." (typical of
men!)
So the wife takes a
drop thereafter, the
husband follows. Indeed
the wife turn five years
younger. Years later the
daughter returns home
to find her mother
young and pretty,
carrying a baby on her
back. The mother
proceeds to tell her
daughter how the
potion worked and
made her look young.
The daughter was
delighted and asks after
her dad.
MOTHER: Your father?
Hmm, my child, your
father was so jealous
that I was so young
and beautiful so he
drank the whole bottle.
DAUGHTER: What? So
where is he?
MOTHER: Hahaha, who
do you think is the baby
on my back?

15 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:10am On Sep 23, 2013
Boy: Do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: Nope;I don't want to have a boyfriend.
Boy: Gen. 2:18 The Lord God said,“It is not
good for the man to
be alone. I will make a helper suitable for
him.”
Girl: But I don't love you.
Boy: 1 John 4:8 "Whoever does not love
does
not know God,
because God is love."
Girl: And how do I know you mean those
words? Boy: Matthew
12:34 "For out of the abundance of the
heart
the mouth
speaks."
Girl: But how can I be sure that you're loyal
and honest?
Boy: Mark 13:31 "Heaven and earth will pass
away, but my
words will never pass away."
Girl: But why me? There are a lot of girls out
there!
Boy: Proverbs 31:29 "Many women do noble
things, but you
surpass them all."
Girl: But what is in me that you like?
Boy: Song of Solomon 4:7 "You are
altogether
beautiful, my
darling; there is no flaw in you."
Girl: But I'm not all that beautiful...you 're
exaggerating.
Boy: Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive,
and
beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be
praised."
Girl: What happens if I say yes?
Boy: Genesis 2:24 "Therefore man shall
leave
his father and his
mother and hold fast to his wife, and they
shall become one
flesh."
Girl: How come you know the scriptures this
much?
Boy: Joshua 1:8 " This book of the Law shall
not depart from your
mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and
night, so that you
may be careful to do all that is written in it.
For then you will
make your way prosperous and you will
have
good success."
Girl: wooow, I can see u really love God.
Boy: Psalm 34:8 "Oh, taste and see that the
Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.
Girl: hmmmh! Ok please give me time to
think
about it.
Boy: Philippians 4:8 "Finally brethren,
whatever is true, whatever
is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is
pure, whatever is
lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is
any excellence, if
there is anything worthy of praise, think
about these things."
Girl: aw! I love you already
Boy: Revelation 22:21 "Amen!"

8 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 3:06pm On Sep 23, 2013
Akpos and his friends are drinking in a bar
when a drunk comes in,
walks up to them, and points at Akpos,
shouting,"Your mom's the best in sex in
town!"
Everyone expects a fight, but Akpos ignores
him, so the drunk wanders off and
bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back,
points at Akpos again, and says,"I just did
your mom, and it was s----w----e---- - e-----
t!"
Again Akpos refuses to take the bait, and
the
drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.
Ten minutes later, he comes back and
announces,"Your mom liked it!"
Finally Akpos interrupts."Go home, Dad,
you're
drunk!"

12 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by nodawa(m): 4:11pm On Sep 23, 2013
Akakakakakakakakkakakakakakakkakaka laughing
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:48pm On Sep 23, 2013
I was in church one day when pastor said:
"It's time to say hello to your neighbours,
shake hands and lets get to know each
other."
I said hello to the person sitting to my left
and
to the one sitting to
my right.. We introduced our selves and
both
said they were Egyptians.
Preaching time came and pastor decided to
preach from Exodus
14:13.. Telling us about how God saved the
Israelites from Egyptians. My people,
remember that there were Egyptians on my
left and right. I was thinking to myself "How
do these two Egyptians feel knowing that
their people are the bad guys in this Bible
verse"
Well, I just sit-down my own je-je-je.
The next thing oo!!, pastor shouted: "The
Egyptians made the people of God to suffer
for years!!!, I said they made them suffer!!!,
Turn to your left and to your right!!! And tell
your neighbour!!!, The Egyptians you see
today!!!, You shall see no more!!!"
My friend, if you were in my position will
you
say after the pastor?

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