i'm lucky enuf to have a very wonderful man in my life who makes me so Happy...however here's the trouble i just met a guy who makes me want to open up to being my real self which is quite *crazy* not bad,just crazy and i'm absolutely falling,however i love my man cos he knows me,even the real me and accepts me,but i'm so cautious around him,cos i'm ashamed of that part of me which makes me feel more than think,this other guy wants me to open up this *bad*side and my man doesn't seem to understand my need to sometimes want to be like that...i'm so confused and troubled,this other guy just had a painful break-up lyk 2 years ago,and says he's not ready...we spent the whole of yesterday in his house *though nothing happened*...he wanted to kiss me and i wanted to but the me with sense wouldn't agree...but i wish i did,and my man seems so occupied with so many other things now,lyk say devil dey give me signal...hmm,this other guy is tormenting my peace of mind!!!

I just need advice on what to do *pls,mature comments only*

Please get laid

@Rex u seem to think all things couls be solved in bed,...well that's your problem.

@Rex u seem to think all things could be solved in bed,...well that's your problem.

You don't love the first guy that's the simple truth because if you do, there will never be the second guy. Go with the second guy.

Get as far away from the 2nd guy as possible. He is looking for a rebound. A guy who encourages you to give up to your "bad side" without caring about how you will deal with the consequences later, does not love you.
And I believe it is you who chose to be cautious when you are with the 1st guy, so dont go blaming him in an attempt to justify your attempt at cheating.

confusion247: You don't love the first guy that's the simple truth because if you do, there will never be the second guy. Go with the second guy.

But i've only just met him,and i'm totally confused, i may never see him again and that's okay...my man is in P.H, i'm in Abj,and i'm not based here,i'll be leaving nxt month..this cud probably be lust ,i dnt want to leave my man over a sheer fling,and this person tells me he wants to stay in touch and maybe more,i dnt want to loose the friendship,but the temptation is too much,when we meet at work..

Demelza, thnx but i may never find someone like him again...probably for the best..

Stay away from the temptation. You would always have a million and one reasons why the other guy is better at the moment, but trust me, your eye go clear after. If your man makes you happy, you don't have to allow any other temptation take over your heart. Try as much as possible to avoid the other guy and let him know that you're not gonna leave your man for him, if you don't stand your ground like that, you're gone! Tell him bluntly that he cannot take the place of your man! He'll back off when he notices that you're serious.

okay...but i do love my man...it just seems like the side of me he's not ready to reconcile with is given full attention from this other guy...i think i really need to see my man soon,its been so long and we rarely stay apart for months..bt wud he be willing to listen,he's quite jealous,and we've argued over this

Brown_eyes: okay...but i do love my man...it just seems like the side of me he's not ready to reconcile with is given full attention from this other guy...i think i really need to see my man soon,its been so long and we rarely stay apart for months..bt wud he be willing to listen,he's quite jealous,and we've argued over this

Would he be willing to listen that you gave another guy attention in his absence Dearie, that's the beginning of the end for your relationship. You have to realise that one man's deficiencies would always be another man's adequacies. You also have deficiencies that super-abound in another lady. But i'm sure u'll want him to accept you the way you are without comparing and contrasting. Just the same way you need to stop comparing and contrasting him and this other guy, trust me, if you don't learn to accept your man for who he is and continue with this mind-set, you'll keep cheating on him.

If you have things that you're not comfortable with in him, sit down and talk like adults. If he's willing to change and compromise, GREAT! If not, decide if you can live with him like that. If you can, EXCELLENT! If you can't, MOVE ON!

If you decide to remain with him, stop wandering your eyez about and appreciate your man for who he is.

If you go with this other guy now, he'll also have a deficiency that the next guy would be adequate at. For how long would you keep changing?

alutacontinua:

Would he be willing to listen that you gave another guy attention in his absence Dearie, that's the beginning of the end for your relationship. You have to realise that one man's deficiencies would always be another man's adequacies. You also have deficiencies that super-abound in another lady. But i'm sure u'll want him to accept you the way you are without comparing and contrasting. Just the same way you need to stop comparing and contrasting him and this other guy, trust me, if you don't learn to accept your man for who he is and continue with this mind-set, you'll keep cheating on him.

If you have things that you're not comfortable with in him, sit down and talk like adults. If he's willing to change and compromise, GREAT! If not, decide if you can live with him like that. If you can, EXCELLENT! If you can't, MOVE ON!

If you decide to remain with him, stop wandering your eyez about and appreciate your man for who he is.

If you go with this other guy now, he'll also have a deficiency that the next guy would be adequate at. For how long would you keep changing?

wow, super matured advice.... this goes for everyone in a relationship... as a matter of fact... it is the basis of a relationship.... exploring your bad side... sounds lame to me. if your cheating u should be sure u r cheating, no excuses.

Why is it that when we find that person that accepts us for who and what we are and still stays with us we do our best to walk away?

The answer is simple......we have inflated expectations about life.

The OP is the classic example, lemme guess your man is the peaceful calm type who tries to understand everything and alsohelps you out. You have become best friends and he can read your mind but this new guy is spontaneous and conny....eh makes you edgy and I dare say he is fun right?

I don't have an advice for you. But what I will tell you is to know that you are just like a junkie who has gotten rehabilitated and is living a life off drugs but just has a little of that stuff again and wants to got back.

Abeg I wan go sleep

Mynd_44: Why is it that when we find that person that accepts us for who and what we are and still stays with us we do our best to walk away?

The answer is simple......we have inflated expectations about life.

The OP is the classic example, lemme guess your man is the peaceful calm type who tries to understand everything and alsohelps you out. You have become best friends and he can read your mind but this new guy is spontaneous and conny....eh makes you edgy and I dare say he is fun right?

I don't have an advice for you. But what I will tell you is to know that you are just like a junkie who has gotten rehabilitated and is living a life off drugs but just has a little of that stuff again and wants to got back.

Abeg I wan go sleep

Word!

I pray God takes ur man away and give it to some other chick praying for such a person. Oliver Twist, Am sure even d second dude will jst bleep u and move on, cus ur damn cheap....Oliver Twist

Spending a whole day in another man's house, really? You almost kissed and you wanted to too. Next time you might do that and more. You're borderline cheating on your bf. This new guy already told you he's not ready to be in a r/ship, meaning he's not ready to commit, so you're actually wasting your time. You're the one who's going to get hurt in the end, along with your poor bf. But he's the one I pity. Leave your bf be if you know you're not content with your r/ship and what he has to offer. Otherwise work things out with him and leave this new dude alone.

So far,I'm realy impressed with only two responses,OP it would be in ur best intrest to listen to those two advices...they've said it all..#U know d one's am talking about

Always the trouble with women. They never really know what they want.
I am not a chauvanist, but I am going to say this.

It is always a mistake for a man to give everything to a woman hoping to make her happy. That's a no no.
It is a grand folly for a man to make himself predictable to a lady.

Just as the op has implied, no matter how happy you make a woman, there is always a " but..."

It has become obvious that the when a man gives everything to a woman, she changes her mind and wants something else.
The funny thing is that they do it subconsciously.

In this case, this lady has a good man who adores her(something her peers would die for), but look, she is looking for something else, something mysterious and unpredictable.

The evil thing is that most often, they would want to eat their cake and still have it.

For the op, let me whisper a secret to you about we men.
We know you better than you know yourselves. the second guy is playing you. he has discovered your weakness. he wants to play out his own fantasy with you. Once done and satisfied, he'll kick you to he curb.

We love women with that wild side that you are talking about. Yes indeed, but only as a play toy.
Our instincts don't allow us take such women to the alter.

I suggest you leave your main guy now, because sooner or later, you are going to mess him up.
Leave him now and save him from more problems in the future.

One guy is trying his best to improve u n curb ur 'oda' side..d other is more accepting of u n encouraging that ur 'oda' side n ur here asking questions
First time spending a long time away from ur boyfriend, u ve already developed dis humongous Itch btw ur legs.
U dont need advice, u r looking f Justification.
Are u going t tell me u spent d whole day in his house n didnt @least cuddle?

Go scratch ur Itch abeg..n I pray ur bf finds out eventually.
U dont deserve him..