I 'm married to a woman i dated for more than a decade. She's lovely, and homely too. But she has this issue with anger management. When she's not angry, we share love, play like children and above all, enjoy peaceful home. But once she's angry, the whole house is thrown into chaos. And funny enough, what makes her angry are usually trivial things that should not matter. To be more specific, any time we disagree on any subject or differ in our opinion as per household issues, she will become so embittered and would refuse to do the normal things she used to do, including preparing food for the house, having sex and other domestic shores except she is apologised to. Last time we had a misunderstanding, she refused to prepare my office lunch which she had always made for me before i leave for work each day. Some times when i refuse to apologize to her perhaps because i wasn't wrong in my stance in the particular issue, she would become moody, refusing to talk to me for up to one week. The problem is, i can't let her have her way always. As the head of the family, i v got to take decisions that will be in the best interest of all, disregarding all forms of emotional sentiment which always happens to be her own angle of judgement. This situation is tearing my home apart and i don't know how to approach it. Please nairanders, i will appreciate your wise counsels and mature suggestions. I have known she's like that way back our dating days, but i love her so much and hoped she would grow above it. Besides, in her happy mood, you only can imagine how sparkling and fun she can be. Bless you all.

later i will comment letme read first cos it ll make frnt page.....













done reading....





my brother you have to Pray o..if you are a christain.


If you are not then i will advice you take your decision then apoligise...

I bliv right decision taken is taken..

@Scramble
If you take this to the family section, you would get better and quality advice from married couples like you.
This section is overrun with kids.
As per your problem, I have no idea what to tell you.

@OP, its rada unfortunate u dated sumone 4 10yrs& u didn't notice dis. Dis kind of attitude is very obvious&u shudnt be oblivious of it.

Nywys, d truth is she can't change, I believe u must have talked 2 her abt it several tyms&I won't be surprised if she's still d same. Nw dat u no she's better wen apologised 2, y don't u apologise 2 her, rada dan also allowing ur ego of being "d head" set in. She's ur wife, u have 2 accept her like dat&take dat as part of her weakness. Sorry doesn't hurt or make u less of a man, she will even respect u more wen she notices dat u are quick 2 apologise, it doesn't mean she'll take u 4 granted, xcept she's immature, dats her weakness work around it.

I like the fact that you are firm and recognise that you are in charge. You should try talking to her and Let her know what her attitude does to you. I guess she is a sulky one. You also have to make her understand why you take some decisions.

Lastly have this moved to the family section, you would getting better advice there. Majority of people here are not even in a relationship talk less of marriage (they know themselves )

if you know what true love means, u will find your way around this issue. Thank God u knew about this b4 marrying her. Enjoy the good moments,avoid those minor issues that make her angry,get angry too sometimes to show her wat it feels like living with someone with such temprament.

Lmao@ office lunch,na that one pain u pass,u come run come here for advc.

chidyhels: if you know what true love means, u will find your way around this issue. Thank God u knew about this b4 marrying her. Enjoy the good moments,avoid those minor issues that make her angry,get angry too sometimes to show her wat it feels like living with someone with such temprament.

Lmao@ office lunch,na that one pain u pass,u come run come here for advc.

What sort of advice is this? This is not the way to live, especially in a marriage.

WOW!!!! 10+ of dating before marriage. For me sha, after such a long time of dating, you were supposed to know her so well. For goodness sake, you guys dated for about ten years, which is quite a long time to date someone before marriage. I feel your differences should have been sorted out a long time ago before marriage. How can you claim to have dated someone for so long and now after marriage you are complaining about her attitude? If you guys have dated for like a year or two, its an entirely different ball game, but u spent almost an entire "life time" dating her.
My advice, make her know who is in charge. Tender to her, but don't always fall prey to her antics. Love her, but don't let her see it as your weak spot. She's always angry probably cos she feels you'll always come to apologise even when she's at fault. When she's wrong I feel you should let her know, no matter how moody she seems to be. You have feelings too. Don't always apologise all the time when she's at fault. Give her the chance to come to you and apologise. Even if it takes a week of her not talking to you. Let her know you too can get angry. Base on what I see, you are a really CARING guy, probably why u were able to hold the relationship for 10+ years. She knows this and sees this as your weak spot. Be caring, but some times, not too over caring. Too much of something is bad. Care for her, but don't always dance to her tune.

OP, your wife needs to get help. This's not the type of thing you sweep under a rug. You cannot be living in your own house, avoiding communication with your wife because of how she will react, and you definitely should NOT be getting angry at her either, to show her what it's like living with her, like chidyhels suggests. That's a silly way of approaching the situation and that'll only make things worse. It seems something must've happened, perhaps during her childhood and she's still carrying the baggage around & harboring the feelings inside. Until you both find out what it is and get to the root of the matter, she will not change. Anger's always the result of something. No one gets angry because it's fun or they like hurting those they love. There's always a bigger reason/s behind it. She probably does not mean to get angry at you, but that's how she copes. If this has been happening during your dating days, then she has been like this as a result of whatever it is she experienced and for the sake of your marriage, it's time for her to get help, as well as learn healthier coping mechanisms.

Thanks people. Just kept ma fingers crossed!

She is not respecting
you. You can't keep apologising even when she wrongs you...what rubbish!!! You need to recognize
your value and not let yourself get
treated like that...You need to regain control...If that means sending her to her parents, then so be it, but never walk on egg
shells around her. If she comes back to
you then you seriously need to set some
ground rules. Good Luck

Guy, cool down, am sure ur wife will change.....maybe when u guys have a baby

But u shud always pet her and anytime u apologise for sometin that was her fault, take ur time to talk to her later and explain to her d reasons for ur actions and neva forget to tell her where she went wrong.

Also, it is not too much of a suprise because most woment hav temperamental problems, infact, there is no woman that u will meet that dnt have one problem or d other, dsame for men. Mind u, no one is perfect so I will advice u to deal with ur partner's imperfection....we are all dealing with ours!!

Lucks guy.

You need to talk to her, lay it all out there before her, just liike you laid it here. And choose a time when neither of you is angry to talk about it. Remember to listen too.

After 10 yrs, u r coming here now
Wat U were ready t accept while dating, shouldn't b an issue now.
U dont need advice...
U made ur bed, find a way t lie on it

Family section would be better to handle dis, but in my own opinion,......... I will advice u talk to her in her good mood. Pour out ur mind on those things u dont appreciate. Let her know dat even if she's right, her approach matters and there must be an agreement cos u might be right too.