justplainpaul: Na wa o. Feminists everywhere. no wonder the rate of single women and mothers are high. @op, even though u don`t like my posts. try and read that book. there is no harm in trying. don`t leave any stone unturned in trying to save your marriage. this bunch of pple here telling u to do otherwise will still be the ones to chastise u for being a single mother and divorcee. be motivated by the words of David Livingstone. ` I WILL GO ANYWHERE AS LONG AS IT IS FORWARD. I rest my case.

I guess I have found one of the 'society' Coogar refers to daily.

Since you said men and women are not equal, we have nothing to talk about.

The book you will refer will also talk along those lines. We are complaining that a lot of women lack self esteem and you want to add to the numbers

bukatyne:

Interesting.... esp the bolded.

You believe when she doesn't appear 'fragile or totally dependent' she can't be submissive or be a good wife?

I have no problem with submission as God requires it from wives to their husbands.

However, my problem is what people esp. husbands have defined submission to mean. God also expects men to love their wives and the wives submit to create a balance.

Do you know we are to submit to each other as Christians?



Think of how you envision a wife to behave to her husband... with all these be weak be fragile advice

Do you think that is what God expects

I think there was a principle in what he was trying to say until he ruined it with chauvinistic views. An intelligent wife can definitely be in control of her family and be the one calling the shots by her submission to her husband.

Donxavier:

I think there was a principle in what he was trying to say until he ruined it with chauvinistic views. An intelligent wife can definitely be in control of her family and be the one calling the shots by her submission to her husband.

The truth is that most men who hap on 'submission' are male chauvinists and do not know what submission means. They confuse it with been subservient or docile or 'weak' or fragile.

A wife's submission is a response to her husband's genuine love. The husband should 'work' on genuinely loving his wife, expressing it and esteeming her above himself and see if the wife will not 'submit' to him

justplainpaul: Aunty swagg no kwams. no problemo. dem dey hide my posts self. so i go carry my madness go another place. but b4 i go, i go recommend one book for u weh i hope say e go help for your marriage. the name of the book na THE WISEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD by Lawrence ossy okeke. try get am, he go help u well well.

This book sounds like one of those how to "please your man" books. It's always the same recipe really - Cook for him, have his babies, pamper him like a 5 year old whose mother did not take care of him properly, whilst being submissive at the same time.

Please notice that author is male, why's he writing a book about the wisest woman? Of course he would perceive a woman as wise when she does his biddings.

OP, as someone said avoid these modern day slavery manuals.

bukatyne:

The truth is that most men who hap on 'submission' are male chauvinists and do not know what submission means. They confuse it with been subservient or docile or 'weak' or fragile.

A wife's submission is a response to her husband's genuine love. The husband should 'work' on genuinely loving his wife, expressing it and esteeming her above himself and see if the wife will not 'submit' to him

Well said.

kadman:

This book sounds like one of those how to "please your man" books. It's always the same recipe really - Cook for him, have his babies, pamper him like a 5 year old whose mother did not take care of him properly, whilst being submissive at the same time.

Please notice that author is male, why's he writing a book about the wisest woman? Of course he would perceive a woman as wise when she does his biddings.

OP, as someone said avoid these modern day slavery manuals.

@bolded, I did and please avoid like a plague.

You missed my favorite: wear black pant, red bra

coogar:

i don't want total control.....i just want to lead!!!!
besides, i think most women love to be controlled anyways. they directly or indirectly ask for it. i have been accused in the past that my lackadaisical attitude is because i don't care/love. she wants me to be calling her 200 times a day to ask about her whereabouts, check her emails, phones, diaries, etc. more often than not, majority of the nigerian women want to be stalked - it makes them feel wanted.

Coogar you must have really shown utmost disregard for your lady for her to wish you stalk her to be honest. As you confirmed you showed a lackadaisical attitude. Which woman would like that? I always say it that women love attention. Attention is to women as sex is to men. Imagine taking sex away from you, you will turn to a nag overnight. I'm talking in general terms here. That woman was at her wits end to demand you intrude in her space since you had a nonchalant attitude towards her.
Just apply moderation that's all. I doubt you call this woman unless she asks for it.

Women love authoritative men, not authoritarians. I'm speaking in general, so certainly there would be outliers.

bukatyne:

@bolded, I did and please avoid like a plague.

You missed my favorite: wear black pant, red bra

Lollllll!

Les: 28 years [s]I will tell junior his grandma is on nairaland o[/s] swaggy, listen to granny o, you can't compare their wisdom o.

Lol.. We know she's here.

bukatyne:

There is no use discussing with you anymore.

Op, please note the book and [b]DON'T read it[/b]

word!

kadman:

This book sounds like one of those how to "please your man" books. It's always the same recipe really - Cook for him, have his babies, pamper him like a 5 year old whose mother did not take care of him properly, whilst being submissive at the same time.

Please notice that author is male, why's he writing a book about the wisest woman? Of course he would perceive a woman as wise when she does his biddings.

OP, as someone said avoid these modern day slavery manuals.

This dude's making a whole lot of sense!

justplainpaul: Thats the problem with some of u women. you demand equality with men. which is not right and will never happen. two captains cannot rule a ship just like a country cannot have two presidents. there will be lots of problems when this happen. when two he-goats drink water in the same bucket, they are bound to lock horns and fight. what am trying to say is that women should understand that God did not create them equal with men but created them to be submisive and helpful. now a wise woman will be submisive and helpful and at the same time use her FEMININE WISDOM to dissuade him from using his advantage to ride roughshod over her.

You see why it's important to educate boys as well as girls in this self actualization issue. I see a lot of initiatives being set up for the girl child and we forget the boys. This is what I wrote on another thread that had an initiative on empowering the girl child...

'We need to carry the boys along in this initiative. The problem we have today is that girls are beginning to adapt to the much needed independence and being outspoken about it while the boys are yet to adapt to this new concept in a woman. So boys need to be carried along as well. You can't be empowering the girls while the boys still have the idea that all what a wife is needed for is to be his maid. It would be a recipe for disaster if we forget the boys. It's like pouring sand in our garri.'

An empowered girl and a boy stuck in the ideals of the 50's is a recipe for disaster in marriage.
Let's not forget the boy child.

steph7: My personal opinion is that women don't want to be controlled, why would I want to be stalked by a boyfriend. Calling several times a day means you care, calling 200 times a day means you are crazy and deserve room in yaba left.

And any woman that wants that needs to get her crazy behind checked into the room next to his!

stillwater:

Lollllll!

You have not read them?

stillwater:

You see why it's important to educate boys as well as girls in this self actualization issue. I see a lot of initiatives being set up for the girl child and we forget the boys. This is what I wrote on another thread that had an initiative on empowering the girl child...

'We need to carry the boys along in this initiative. The problem we have today is that girls are beginning to adapt to the much needed independence and being outspoken about it while the boys are yet to adapt to this new concept in a woman. So boys need to be carried along as well. You can't be empowering the girls while the boys still have the idea that all what a wife is needed for is to be his maid. It would be a recipe for disaster if we forget the boys. It's like pouring sand in our garri.'

An empowered girl and a boy stuck in the ideals of the 50's is a recipe for disaster in marriage.
Let's not forget the boy child.

100%

I have asked my pastor why there are no monthly men's meetings.

Train all the women you want, they will still go back to status quo if they are dealing with the same men

ileobatojo:

word!



This dude's making a whole lot of sense!

stillwater:

You see why it's important to educate boys as well as girls in this self actualization issue. I see a lot of initiatives being set up for the girl child and we forget the boys. This is what I wrote on another thread that had an initiative on empowering the girl child...

'We need to carry the boys along in this initiative. The problem we have today is that girls are beginning to adapt to the much needed independence and being outspoken about it while the boys are yet to adapt to this new concept in a woman. So boys need to be carried along as well. You can't be empowering the girls while the boys still have the idea that all what a wife is needed for is to be his maid. It would be a recipe for disaster if we forget the boys. It's like pouring sand in our garri.'

An empowered girl and a boy stuck in the ideals of the 50's is a recipe for disaster in marriage.
Let's not forget the boy child.

Amen!

Imagine a male reading and rereading a book on how to a woman should 'submit to conquer'. What exactly are you trying to imbibe by reading it multiple times? How you will lecture your wife to behave to keep the marriage no matter how badly you behave? What about reading books that teach a man how to be a good husband?

The education needs to be focused on both sexes equally. It's only in the setting of marriage that the job of a 'leader' is to behave however he wants, and relegate the responsibility of the success of the organization to the 'subordinate'. All the while going around shouting that he is the leader. The one who does that is no leader, just deceiving himself. In what other setting does the leader keep messing up and get excused by blaming the junior workers for not keeping him in check?

bukatyne:

100%

I have asked my pastor why there are no monthly men's meetings.

Train all the women you want, they will still go back to status quo if they are dealing with the same men

Nice one Buka! Very nice!

ileobatojo:

Amen!

Imagine a male reading and rereading a book on how to a woman should 'submit to conquer'. What exactly are you trying to imbibe by reading it multiple times? How you will lecture your wife to behave to keep the marriage no matter how badly you behave? What about reading books that teach a man how to be a good husband?

The education needs to be focused on both sexes equally. It's only in the setting of marriage that the job of a 'leader' is to behave however he wants, and relegate the responsibility of the success of the organization to the 'subordinate'. All the while going around shouting that he is the leader. The one who does that is no leader, just deceiving himself. In what other setting does the leader keep messing up and get excused by blaming the junior workers for not keeping him in check?



Nice one Buka! Very nice!

All the wives will gather and say the same thing year in year out! It will even increase their frustrations sef! Ignorance is bliss in some cases. If I think I am inferior to my hubby, I will not mind what he does. I will endure my lot but when you start to tell me that otherwise and the man doesn't change, na die be that!

bukatyne:

Run along

...LMAO....

bukatyne:

You have not read them?

I have o. And it's Still funny every time I hear it.

ileobatojo:

And any woman that wants that needs to get her crazy behind checked into the room next to his!

Agree!!

MARRIAGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ha ha ha .Jesus help your own ,it getting scaring each day I open this thread.

coogar:

i don't want total control.....i just want to lead!!!!
besides, i think most women love to be controlled anyways. they directly or indirectly ask for it. i have been accused in the past that my lackadaisical attitude is because i don't care/love. she wants me to be calling her 200 times a day to ask about her whereabouts, check her emails, phones, diaries, etc. more often than not, majority of the nigerian women want to be stalked - it makes them feel wanted.

You don marry?
Abi na kwanangida
Any woman that wants to be controlled is an eediot
They are the ones that make it hard for others
Why would a woman want a man to call and check on her every move like she were ret.arded
Please tell me you are kidding

stillwater:
Coogar you must have really shown utmost disregard for your lady for her to wish you stalk her to be honest. As you confirmed you showed a lackadaisical attitude. Which woman would like that? I always say it that women love attention. Attention is to women as sex is to men. Imagine taking sex away from you, you will turn to a nag overnight.

hehehehe....
taking sex away from me? sex is not food jare. men like me are blessed with the ultimate self-control. seriously speaking, lackadaisical approach is the best method to deal with today's women. the same woman that demands your attention is the same one that would later say the man is too overbearing or whatever terms that fit in.

I'm talking in general terms here. That woman was at her wits end to demand you intrude in her space since you had a nonchalant attitude towards her.
Just apply moderation that's all. I doubt you call this woman unless she asks for it.

letting her ask for it is the best. i don't have time for cheap chitchats discussing eclipse of the moon. the more available a man makes himself to a woman, the cheaper he becomes to her.

Women love authoritative men, not authoritarians. I'm speaking in general, so certainly there would be outliers.

i just want to lead. she can have 90% of the control - it doesn't bother me. i am clueless about most things domestically so she can have those. i am satisfied with my 10% control.

babyosisi:
You don marry?
Abi na kwanangida
Any woman that wants to be controlled is an eediot They are the ones that make it hard for others

they are the ones confusing the men. we keep striving to work out what women want. the more we try, the more confused we get.

Why would a woman want a man to call and check on her every move like she were ret.arded Please tell me you are kidding

according to them, a man that does such is caring.

Dear Mod,

Why was my response to justplainpaul hidden?

bukatyne: Dear Mod,

Why was my response to justplainpaul hidden?

the post hid itself.

swag queen:


How do you know that

.

lol @ kikiani's eyebrows

^ nice!

Idowuogbo: ^ nice!

Thanks