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For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! - Family (49) - Nairaland

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Can A Physically Abused Woman In A Marriage Work Things Out With Her Husband ? / Help! I Am Being Physically Abused By My Wife! What Will I Do? / Wives, Girlfriends, Partners Please Tell Me You All Have Experienced This Too. . (2) (3) (4)

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Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 3:29pm On Oct 01, 2013
Chai
Work calleth
I should have been off today o

Ladies keep encouraging our sisters
Uredaddy look up
Swag queen do not despair
Kenyattamore,your help is about to come

Let me go before my boss throws a fit
I am already late to the assignment of the day.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Cathaliya: 3:33pm On Oct 01, 2013
Now I know the NGO am gonna work for..

1 Like

Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 3:39pm On Oct 01, 2013
O
babyosisi:

Please hang around,I am sure there is something we all can do
Are you in Lagos?
Do you know any agencies that can help uredaddy?

Not in lagos, I think someone dropped a list of agencies somewhere. Will scan through
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 3:48pm On Oct 01, 2013
God Almighty!!!
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 4:16pm On Oct 01, 2013
roject Alert on Violence Against Women (PROJECT ALERT)

Address: 21, Akinsanya Street Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC)
Ojodu - Berger
P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja
Lagos, Nigeria

Telephone/E-mail:234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072
                                                projectalert@projectalertnig.org
                                                info@projectalertnig.org

ABUJA OFFICE
 26 Bamenda Street, Off Abidjan Street,
Wuse Zone 3
Telephone:+234 -8708618

http://www.projectalertnig.org/

3 Likes

Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by jumzzy448: 4:25pm On Oct 01, 2013
Thanks debrief, God bless you.
@uredaddy, please make the call as soon as possible. Concerning your kids, please do not leave anyone of them behind. Thought you said your first child is a special child, pls you can't afford to leave him cos if you do, who will look after him? Pls you need to have a Change of mind.







@ kenyatta, I contacted your friend, she told me she can be of help. (Thank God for that).
I even asked her if she can contact any of your family member, but she told me that it's complicated. But she assured me that she'll help me.
Will contact her later to know how far.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Uredaddy: 4:29pm On Oct 01, 2013
debrief08: roject Alert on Violence Against Women (PROJECT ALERT)

Address:                              21, Akinsanya Street
                                                Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC)
                                                Ojodu - Berger
                                                P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja
                                                Lagos, Nigeria

Telephone/E-mail:      234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072
                                                projectalert@projectalertnig.org
                                                info@projectalertnig.org

ABUJA OFFICE
 26 Bamenda Street, Off Abidjan Street,
Wuse Zone 3
Telephone:                             234 -8708618


http://www.projectalertnig.org/

Thank you very much.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by thatchic: 4:49pm On Oct 01, 2013
48 pages is too long to read. I know you must have gotten some really good advice. I noticed your post in the first page and you mentioned you were 30 with 2 kids and feel hopeless. I know the naija factor but I am the same age with you and have three kids. 30 is not too old to start over.

1)Your career: During his lovey dovey months, invest in work wears, get your hair done(work on your appearance in general, it will help with the self-esteem issues) and reconnect with your former classmates, colleagues, boss, friends ,church members etc, and start applying for any job. Please drop your swag and accept any professional job you get even if the pay is below your standard. Just see it as stepping stone to the next level.

2) Your husband is a cheat and an abuser, the ball is in your court. “Second hand merchandise” will find “second hand buyer”. Do not be afraid of the future. You are 30 not 80. No one will love you if you can’t love yourself. Your self-worth should never be placed on another human being. You never know what is around the corner.

Keep your head up. It can only get better.

1 Like

Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by LaShawn: 5:03pm On Oct 01, 2013
Amen at swag's prayers.

Thank God for Kenyatta and everybody showing their support at this crucial time.
@Kenyatta, Ure and Swag, the time you leave for real is the MOST DANGEROUS time, even more dangerous than when you were with them . Please, do not play with your safety. They act like wounded lions that have lost their prey.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by swagqueen(f): 5:10pm On Oct 01, 2013
Cathaliya: Now I know the NGO am gonna work for..

I'm registering an NGO ASAP! For abused women and men!

Hahaha

1 Like

Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Cathaliya: 5:12pm On Oct 01, 2013
swag queen:

I'm registering an NGO ASAP! For abused women and men!

Hahaha
post link sharp sharp......me wan dey that ship.


All these nonsense must stop....ki lo de?
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by pickabeau1: 5:19pm On Oct 01, 2013
debrief08: roject Alert on Violence Against Women (PROJECT ALERT)

Address:                              21, Akinsanya Street
                                                Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC)
                                                Ojodu - Berger
                                                P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja
                                                Lagos, Nigeria

Telephone/E-mail:      234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072
                                                projectalert@projectalertnig.org
                                                info@projectalertnig.org

ABUJA OFFICE
 26 Bamenda Street, Off Abidjan Street,
Wuse Zone 3
Telephone:                             234 -8708618


http://www.projectalertnig.org/
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 5:48pm On Oct 01, 2013
LaShawn: Amen at swag's prayers.

Thank God for Kenyatta and everybody showing their support at this crucial time.
@Kenyatta, Ure and Swag, the time you leave for real is the MOST DANGEROUS time, even more dangerous than when you were with them . Please, do not play with your safety. They act like wounded lions that have lost their prey.


This is a valid advice
I also add that the time they are preparing to leave which is now,is equally very dangerous
DO Not LET THiS MAN KNOW ABOUT YOUR PLANS

I have a good friend that chopped her man that night and left in the morning
That is how deceptive you should be if need be,give him no hint whatsoever
She had found their travel passports where he hid them,visas were about to expire and she acted fast,bought tickets and made her plans
On the expected day,She got the kids ready he drove them to school and went to work
She packed her bags,her pre arranged car arrived,picked her up ,she went to the school picked the children up and headed to Owerri airport
By 5 PM that night she was on a Lufthansa flight headed to the USA.
Guard your plans jealously and just execute
Tell no one except a trusted friend or close family member and then change your phone number.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Cathaliya: 6:01pm On Oct 01, 2013
chukwu!
This one na serious Osondu and not should be done in so much hurry orelse there will be fatal mistakes.

Just calm your heads and do your thing believing God is with you
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 6:06pm On Oct 01, 2013
Cathaliya:
post link sharp sharp......me wan dey that ship.


All these nonsense must stop....ki lo de?

It is very annoying and nobody is perfect

There are two things however,I told myself I will not take

1. Physical violence is one
if you call me names,I call you back,thank God I am blessed with a sharp tongue lol
Tell me waka,I give you shege.
Call me ashawo ,I will call your mother and grandmother ashawo kwa
But if you raise your hand and touch me,it is over o
My father is still alive and my father never beat me for one day
Na my brothers wey im beat
My dad is a tough and strict guy but as God is my witness,I never saw him lay a finger on my mother or any female member of the family.
So I will not tolerate any beatings ho ha

2. Cheating.
while I do not have the time to snoop and cannot swear for anybody,I haven't been given any cause to suspect anything.
If you cheat,you better be perfect at hiding it because once I know,it is over.
I have never cheated and have no plans,I will keep my end of the bargain,if you fail in yours,the chord is broken
Simple and short
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 6:12pm On Oct 01, 2013
Cathaliya: chukwu!
This one na serious Osondu and not should be done in so much hurry orelse there will be fatal mistakes.

Just calm your heads and do your thing believing God is with you

The day my friend told me how she escaped,I was in awe
She hid in the toilet with the kids at Owerri airport till the flight was boarding
She was only 26 by the way
Her family member organized some army officers when she arrived Lagos and they stayed with her and the kids till the flight took off.
Isi gbakaa the man when he returned ( the hubby couldn't believe his eyes )
The evening of the day she left,she and hubby were supposed to be hosting a committee of friends meeting and she had bought the ugba,okporoko and all the orishirishi for the meeting like nothing dey happen
You can imagine when they gathered that night and saw the husband with his hands on his head and no iyawo or kids
The other trusted person that knew last minute was the loyal houseboy who swore he will never tell
She got info of all the aftermath from the loyal houseboy.
Wallahi it is good to be a smart woman o

1 Like

Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Cathaliya: 6:18pm On Oct 01, 2013
babyosisi:

The day my friend told me how she escaped,I was in awe
She hid in the toilet with the kids at Owerri airport till the flight was boarding
She was only 26 by the way
Her family member organized some army officers when she arrived Lagos and they stayed with her and the kids till the flight took off.
Isi gbakaa the man when he returned ( the hubby couldn't believe his eyes )
The evening of the day she left,she and hubby were supposed to be hosting a committee of friends meeting and she had bought the ugba,okporoko and all the orishirishi for the meeting like nothing dey happen
You can imagine when they gathered that night and saw the husband with his hands on his head and no iyawo or kids
The other trusted person that knew last minute was the loyal houseboy who swore he will never tell
She got info of all the aftermath from the loyal houseboy.
Wallahi it is good to be a smart woman o
walahi my sister...
Smartness and swiftness......women needs that in abundance.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by GDLI: 7:26pm On Oct 01, 2013
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YOU MAY NOT NEED IT BUT TELL OTHERS, THANKS.
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Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nogen: 8:51pm On Oct 01, 2013
@Babayosisi, I can't stop laughing here! Your friend is a very smart woman! Hahahahaha! No be only ugba and okporoko! Isi ewu nko?

1 Like

Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by armyofone(m): 9:57pm On Oct 01, 2013
thank God for 911
he will sleep in prison for sure grin. Just pinch, gal will exaggerate it. Climb the top stair and roll down flight of stairs and tell the cops that he pushed you grin
I heard even with 911 some African here don't make use of it.
some don't want their women to mix with AA saying they put ideas in original afri gal head grin


babyosisi:

It is very annoying and nobody is perfect

There are two things however,I told myself I will not take

1. Physical violence is one
if you call me names,I call you back,thank God I am blessed with a sharp tongue lol
Tell me waka,I give you shege.
Call me ashawo ,I will call your mother and grandmother ashawo kwa
But if you raise your hand and touch me,it is over o
My father is still alive and my father never beat me for one day
Na my brothers wey im beat
My dad is a tough and strict guy but as God is my witness,I never saw him lay a finger on my mother or any female member of the family.
So I will not tolerate any beatings ho ha

2. Cheating.
while I do not have the time to snoop and cannot swear for anybody,I haven't been given any cause to suspect anything.
If you cheat,you better be perfect at hiding it because once I know,it is over.
I have never cheated and have no plans,I will keep my end of the bargain,if you fail in yours,the chord is broken
Simple and short
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Cathaliya: 10:07pm On Oct 01, 2013
I trust the women of my clan...

There was this aunt of mine who didnt get married early that was a victim to her stepbrothers...just cus she was the only child of her mother and it turned out that her share of the property seems bigger than that of her stepkbrothers....but she just didnt keep quiet. When the threats from her step-brothers was too much, she thought a good plan.

On that very good when one of her step-brothers came with his wahala, she smached her hand on the louveres and ran to the police station with blood dripping all over to report him....
After spending his little cash on hospital bills and her upkeep, his brain was taught a good lesson.
I tell you, till date, the guy pack comot from the family house with in family.
They now dread her like leprosy. ...grin
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by swagqueen(f): 10:11pm On Oct 01, 2013
babyosisi:

This is a valid advice
I also add that the time they are preparing to leave which is now,is equally very dangerous
DO Not LET THiS MAN KNOW ABOUT YOUR PLANS

I have a good friend that chopped her man that night and left in the morning
That is how deceptive you should be if need be,give him no hint whatsoever
She had found their travel passports where he hid them,visas were about the expire and she acted fast,bought tickets and made her plans
On the expected day,She got the kids ready he drove them to school and went to work
She packed her bags,her pre arranged car arrived,picked her up ,she went to the school picked the children up and headed to Owerri airport
By 5 PM that night she was on a Lufthansa flight headed to the USA.
Guard your plans jealously and just executive
Tell no one except a trusted friend or close family member and then change your phone number.


I still wonder why this man has my passport in his possession telling long tales of how he wants me to go and have my babies outside Nigeria. For where?! It was just the,other day he gave me back my atm card.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Cathaliya: 10:15pm On Oct 01, 2013
ejoo, why will my hubby hold my documents sef? Even the one wey dey with my papa now, I dey go carry am...

Na so e dey start....even that marriage cert go get photocopy o.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by eugenedarron(m): 11:17pm On Oct 01, 2013
Go Naija.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 11:34pm On Oct 01, 2013
Mr. Eugene

No not all Nigerian women are rude and disrespectful to their man.

No not All Nigerian women value money over our family.

Thank goodness you have only one kid involved in this mess.... just don't let her provoke you to abuse her ( you know what to do) ....Good luck in whatever you decide sir. smiley

1 Like

Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 12:56am On Oct 02, 2013
eugene.darron:
I have an issue with my wife. I am an American man who married an Igbo woman. That being said, she is very rude to me at times and extremely disrespectful. She becomes pissed off when her goals of riches and flaunting to others are not met and blames me for this. We are doing pretty well, even by standards of most during the economic hardship. She began to build a house in Nigeria and did not even tell me. A great deal of her money is now sent there, she has built up a savings of considerable size, becomes pissed off when I ask her to take some of the bills because I am spending every penny I have to pay the bills so she can build this house (that she did not even consult me on). She has accused me of not being a man when I say that what I bring in may not cover what is being spent on this house and her family. I am so very frustrated with this entire situation. Today, she told me that her life sucks!! Almost every woman I know would kill to be where we are and it is not enough for this one.
My questions to all of you are...do all Nigerians behave this way toward people of other cultures, disrespectfully? My thoughts are that I have made the greatest mistake of my life building a family with this woman. Are women from Nigeria this disrespectful toward men from Nigeria or is it just American men? Do Nigerian women value wealth above everything or is this an isolated situation? Should I leave or is there a way to get someone who behaves so evil to listen to reason? Please advise as I am getting tired of this situation and never want our daughter to even go near Africa, yet alone Nigeria due to what I have experienced from all sides.

I happen to be an Igbo woman and I have not built a chicken shed let alone a house
This woman is using you from what I infer

She becomes pissed off when her goals of riches and flaunting to others are not met and blames me for this

This is a major character flaw,nothing to do with her country of origin.


She began to build a house in Nigeria and did not even tell me. A great deal of her money is now sent there, she has built up a savings of considerable size, becomes pissed off when I ask her to take some of the bills because I am spending every penny I have to pay the bills so she can build this house (that she did not even consult me on).

There is No Nigerian male that will tolerate this sort of behavior
Who knows what else she is building while you are saddled with the upkeep of the home all by yourself
My sister don turn you to mugu
I wouldn't trust his woman if I were you.


Do Nigerian women value wealth above everything or is this an isolated situation?

I'm sure you already know the answer to that question
Does one Nigerian woman represent all nigerian women?

Should I leave or is there a way to get someone who behaves so evil to listen to reason? Please advise as I am getting tired of this situation and never want our daughter to even go near Africa, yet alone Nigeria due to what I have experienced from all sides

Divorce should always be the last option
Try to get her to listen to exactly how you feel about her behavior and the house she started without your knowledge and consent.
Then take it from there
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by RoyalRoy(m): 5:18am On Oct 02, 2013
babyosisi:

I happen to be an Igbo woman and I have not built a chicken shed let alone a house
This woman is using you from what I infer



This is a major character flaw,nothing to do with her country of origin.




There is No Nigerian male that will tolerate this sort of behavior
Who knows what else she is building while you are saddled with the upkeep of the home all by yourself
My sister don turn you to mugu
I wouldn't trust his woman if I were you.



I'm sure you already know the answer to that question
Does one Nigerian woman represent all nigerian women?


Divorce should always be the last option
Try to get her to listen to exactly how you feel about her behavior and the house she started without your knowledge and consent.
Then take it from there

Beautiful Response!!

@Eugene, I guess you have got some answers to your troubled mind here.
Feel free to ask more if you wanna.

@All Abused Men, this thread is opened for you too, as the title suggests.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 6:14am On Oct 02, 2013
@Aluta and all those who contacted my friend, thank you very much. I don't know how to repay you for using your money to call long distance. This makes me cry for joy, complete strangers helping me without any thing in return. My friend contact me, she said she going to send me ticket before the end of this week and I will travel.
Pickbeau, lashawn, ileo, swagqueen and all those who contribute to this post with advises and useful information s ,from the bottom of my heart , I say thanks for everything.
I will come here if everything works fine and give update.

4 Likes

Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 6:15am On Oct 02, 2013
Those who quoted my post with my name and that of my friend and her phone number , can you please edit it? Thanks
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by RoyalRoy(m): 6:31am On Oct 02, 2013
kenyattamoore: Those who quoted my post with my name and that of my friend and her phone number , can you please edit it? Thanks

Good to know you are getting help soon.

1 Like

Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Vure(f): 7:06am On Oct 02, 2013
Im scared.
Im in a relationship with a man 11 years older than I am. He proposed to me just last week and it may lead to marriage.
He's a total sweetheart, loves me and I think adores me.

Everyone in my family in fond of him.
He's sooo (too) interested in my past. Who Ive been with, all my friends he wants to meet.
He's extremely kind and caring but Im scared of him. When I think of him, I get chills.
I dunno why I feel like this.

I've gone through this thread and the qualities of an Abuser before marriage are all there but then again maybe im just making it seem that way?

He hasn't given me reason to think he's an abuser tho but..... *sighs*
Well im a young girl (21) and my mouth runs alot, extremely stuborn and not a pushover at all, Im quite popular(thats what broke my last relationship) but he seems facinated by my character.
One time he said I'll have to stop speaking to most of my friends. Is it normal?

Lol... I dunno if Im wasting my time looking for things that aren't there.. Just need to talk to someone about this relationship. Its scary.
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 7:23am On Oct 02, 2013
kenyattamoore: @Aluta and all those who contacted my friend, thank you very much. I don't know how to repay you for using your money to call long distance. This makes me cry for joy, complete strangers helping me without any thing in return. My friend contact me, she said she going to send me ticket before the end of this week and I will travel.
Pickbeau, lashawn, ileo, swagqueen and all those who contribute to this post with advises and useful information s ,from the bottom of my heart , I say thanks for everything.
I will come here if everything works fine and give update.

Thank God things are moving in the right direction. I'll be praying everything goes smoothly according to plan. Can't wait to hear that you're out of there and out of his reach. God speed. kiss

God bless you Aluta. Thank you!

1 Like

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