Sorry OP but is this how you are gonna keep 'dealing ' with all the ladies because let's face it, if you manage to remove this one from the picture, your fiance would move on to the next one and that is how you would keep chasing all of them even till marriage. you go tire!

The girls aren't the problem here its your fiance.

Handle ur fiance, it doesn't matter if 10 ladies call him for abt 10mins each per day, he shud face u and u alone since he engaged to u....or was he forced to engage to u..? No, I dnt think so...

Leave the lady out of this, and think of how best u can hold ur guy tight to ursef..

D poster is male

.

1. You have no evidence to prove that your man is cheating on you with the said lady.

2. Any jealous girl can confidently claim to be sleeping with your man just to spite you.

3. It could be a plan to test your patience.

4. Should your man be cheating, you no right to confront the girl as she may also feel you are the intruder.

5. If you must confront the girl, then be very mature and diplomatic about it. You are not married to the man....and the girl owes you no explanation.

6. How many of these girls are you going to be confronting?

7. The man may soon dump you for your condescending attitude. You actually think most men chose a 'big' and prideful girl over a local but respectful girl for a wife?

8. Whatever you do, do not cause body harm to the girl. You may end up in prison or live the rest of your life regretting it. Come to think of it, the man may not even marry you at the end of the day.

9. Sadly but safely walk away now if you feel your man is cheating on you. Hang on if you think you can salvage the situation or at least cope with a cheating spouse.

kofsy:

Thanks! I'd pretend I didn't see this!

I'd pretend i didn't read this either But take the advice, I'm NOT interested in your bitter tears. . .you've gone too far as the case maybe. You should only be smarter than him. . .face him with the truth you've gathered from her. BTW, you no even fear, see girl get courage tell you say em dey bed your man, you still dey think of how to handle her? That chick is desperate! Go meet your man and settle your issue. There's no one-way to deal with relationship matters and that's why people fall prey over and over again . . .so don't tell me about experience(s) because i've got leads. What you've gathered from here so far is the blunt truth, though in a hard way. . .and again, a beautiful ring could be a beautiful bait too. Be wise!

OP, this is marriage or Pre-marrital case you are dealing with. It's a test of your strength and how you choose to handle it will determine the course of your marriage(if it eventually happens) for the rest of your life.

Sorry to say, but you have failed that test because you refused to treat the disease and turn a blind eye to it-your man.

A child once blamed his mother when he was caught for stealing. Why? He said his mother refused to scold him each time he was caught and he grew up to become Nigeria's most wanted criminal. Though he was killed but not without hundreds of police men going down with him.

On the day of his firing squard, he asked them to call his mother and he would like to speak with her. She moved closer to lend her ears and much to her surprise, he bit off that ear with his teeth and told her she is the cause of his down fall. Why? Simply because she turned a blind eye in the beginning; she refused to scold him etc. Her son left her with half ear before his death.

Ever heard of Anini?

*Giggles.* Someone said I often have stories to relate with every post. You won't blame me because I absorb life events like spy-camera.

I am very sure your man is fVcking that lady.

Why do I feel so? Food can't go into your mouth until you open it.

She does those calls because your man is giving her the privilege. The fact that she calls so often means a lot of things.

Since he has denied not having anything to do with her, the ball is in your court to find out.

My aunt's husband also denied until a daughter from the other woman came knocking on their door and said she is looking for her father. I opened the door that day and I know what happened afterwards.

Like I said, it's left for you to find out... Either send spies on him or become the spy yourself.

A woman did this some years ago while we were still kids; she called a group of guys to follow her husband and find out where he was always going to every night. My elder brother was among and they brought result... Sure, it was wrong to have been part of it but you know how kids behave. To them it was fun. It didn't go well when my mum heard it. She was really mad at him.

Fast forward to present day, the child is living with them.

it's your call... You either deal with it now or live with a cheating husband for the rest of yout life.

kofsy:
Yes! Cos a part of me still loves him. Not that I don't feel betrayed and hurt

The truth is finally out...
So, it is you?



Chai, Cathaliya idiegwu...

kofsy:
Ok! But now how do you handle a man that is not willing to admit? The victim's plan is not to force it out of him. She knows her man so well and knows how to get him... And probably punish him. But she wants to put a peg on the affairs. She's not sure if they still talk or see, cos he had promised not to call the slut again. Now the girl does all the calling. She calls for like 10 times in a roll, even when he's not picking. As in, she so desperate! Never knew girls like that existed.

diff pple with diff tactics. Desperate women can lie or open up a secret. If she gives up her man, an opps for d other lady to come in. For d guy not admitting, let him be. Even if he is denying d truth, sit him down n move fwd, but beg him to keep away from her.

Nuzo':
1. You have no evidence to prove that your man is cheating on you with the said lady.

2. Any jealous girl can confidently claim to be sleeping with your man just to spite you.

3. It could be a plan to test your patience.

4. Should your man be cheating, you no right to confront the girl as she may also feel you are the intruder.

5. If you must confront the girl, then be very mature and diplomatic about it. You are not married to the man....and the girl owes you no explanation.

6. How many of these girls are you going to be confronting?

7. The man may soon dump you for your condescending attitude. You actually think most men chose a 'big' and prideful girl over a local but respectful girl for a wife?

8. Whatever you do, do not cause body harm to the girl. You may end up in prison or live the rest of your life regretting it. Come to think of it, the man may not even marry you at the end of the day.

9. Sadly but safely walk away now if you feel your man is cheating on you. Hang on if you think you can salvage the situation or at least cope with a cheating spouse.

She doesnt wana walk away..

@kofsy
just take d guys' advice, deal wit d guy howeva u see fit but leave d girl alone ,and u know from all dis ur write up and responses,d fiance is comin across as eida spineless man dat lets his woman face his problems for him or he is genuinely interested in dis sidechick, babe eida way, d fiance is d key, all d "how do u deal wit d chick" is long story. I know guys somewhat and i know when a strong man says STOP ,woe betide d woman who says odawise, its not about getting physical but if he means what he says d calls from dat girl will die down and he should be d one finding ways to deal wit her not d fiancee, nd where does she get off calling d oda chick to confirm,of course she wont get a good answer, for all we know d side chik mite av lied.
Just sort out d issues wit d guy, d gal is a no-go area for me.

Of course it's obvious she is the avoiding the truth...

Cathaliya:
The truth is finally out...
So, it is you?



Chai, Cathaliya idiegwu...

kofsy:
Yes! Cos a part of me still loves him. Not that I don't feel betrayed and hurt

And the truth is out. You're the lady!
Well I've never been in this situation b4 but I'll say there's a possibility she is lying to get on your nerves. Who knows, she might be an angry ex . So just try and be sure about the whole thing.

Now, when you're sure you have to consider one thing.
Are you ready to be married to a cheat? If yes then go ahead but if not ...(I'm not gonna tell you what to do)

I know it's hard to give up when you have a ring(ring whipped ) so I'm not gonna tell you to. Just know what's important to you. I'll just leave you with follow up questions.
Is having a husband more important than having peace of mind?
If he's cheating now(especially if he gets the cookie from you) do you think marriage will stop him?

Exponental:
diff pple with diff tactics. Desperate women can lie or open up a secret. If she gives up her man, an opps for d other lady to come in. For d guy not admitting, let him be. Even if he is denying d truth, sit him down n move fwd, but beg him to keep away from her.

Btw, the bold is the worst idea since gowon said Nigeria must be one.

Begging him to stay away will make you look weak! And he'll have no trouble cheating again after all you'll be the one begging. I say get all your facts/evidence and confront him. If he admits it and sincerely apologises you can forgive him but if he lies with the truth in his face or acts nonchalantly then ...

bia, Kofy, you no get job...? Na serious fulltime job you dey o.

I concur

Adaeze003:

Btw, the bold is the worst idea since gowon said Nigeria must be one.

Begging him to stay away will make you look weak! And he'll have no trouble cheating again after all you'll be the one begging. I say get all your facts/evidence and confront him. If he admits it and sincerely apologises you can forgive him but if he lies with the truth in his face or acts nonchalantly then ...

Cathaliya:
She doesnt wana walk away..

She still has two out of the three options I gave:

1. Walk away peacefully.
2. Hang on and salvage the relationship if she thinks she can.
3. Manage a cheating spouse for life if she cann endure it.

@OP I'd Advice U not to do anything to d girl as any form of revenge U choose to take against her will draw ur fiancee closer towrds her if he finds out, that will make her the Victim being persecuted by the Jeloc fiancee, Ur fiance will nw see u as wicked n capable of deep Evil n Might RUN

But if u must Absolutely take Revenge cos some girls truly need to b taught a lesson; then I suggest u find out if she is in any relationship, If she is then pay her back wit her own coin, Don't carry d act out yaself oo, Arrange 4 a babe. To brk up watever she has going on... Be discreet abt it. If she doesn't hv any Relationship for nw, then Bid urr tym... She'll Soon B engaged or married, then u hv ur opportunity. In d Mean time, kip an Eye on d situation cos she is truly out for yur man

As for ur Fiance, I'm sure u re Wise Enuf not to listen to d chorus of d pple singing d Break-Up hymn... D fact is dt 90% of Nig Men cheat @ one point or anoda weda its marrg or ordinary Relationship, Leaving this one does nt guarantee d one u'll Eventually End up wit won't cheat though he dint cheat B4 marrg. Don't Make d mistake of listenin to pple who their Men hv cheated on ova n ova again but they re still stuck with them, Bsyds its a one off thing, he is nt in luv wit d girl neither is he a regular cheat... I'd tell u how to deal wit him but u said u'd already fashioned out wat to do

Remember Marriage is No Childs play... BE SURE

Marriage up and down... If you no marry, you go die?



Remember we are in endtime o...

.

Seriously if u say u want to teach the girl lesson then u are on a long thing becos ur fiance might end up wit her,who knws? I advice you to sit ur man down and talk to him. Heart to heart

if u fight the lady u will end up fighting all woman on earth. deal with your man not the other woman coz if not her there will be another one. deal with your guy honey and ignore the other honies

kofsy:
Wow! Thanks so much darling ({}) :* ... This is the kind of comment I've been looking out for. You truly understand my stance. In fact I'm surprise that most guys here are saying I should dump him, when in truth most of them are pathological cheats.
On how to deal with him, nothing is too much dear! I've been praying for him but I also intend to do something I know would pain him(not cheat o) when all this is all over... However, we learn everyday, and who knows if my plan is not the best. Pls I'd like to know how to deal with him... I'm trying my best to be a good fiancee to him... But may be there's something I'm not doing, pls let me know. You can send me a PM. Thanks swit

UW dear

Like other posters have said, you don't have any business with the girl, its your fiancé you have issues with. But in all sincerity, you have no issues with them at all. The only thing I sense here is "I am this close to getting married, and I cannot afford to lose him, besides will another guy come my way should I let this one go". You should be glad that you found out his true colours before saying "I do". For the other girl to come out brazenly and say she banged your husband to be means that she's capable of anything.

My advice: free both of them, but if you still love him with what you discovered then by all means go ahead with the wedding. But don't come here screaming "wolf" when the inevitable happens, for once a cheat, always a cheat.

A broken engagement/relationship is always better than a broken marriage.

My two cents.

I am a realist and I think what we all should be doing here is to tell this babe how to ignore the other lady. The truth remains that whether we like it or not, emotions and rationale are two different things. Yes, the rational thing is to face her fiance and leave the lady out of it but her emotions won't agree with her like that. The most painful part of all of this is the part where the babe is not even ready to back down. That can be really annoying and frustrating, i tell you. It's normal for her to feel cheated by the other lady (for God's sake, this guy has put a ring on it and she knows about it), her ego is been bruised day after day cos the babe is telling her 'yes, i'm f*cking your man and there's nothing you can do about it'. It's very painful, i must be sincere with you and even though she has to do something about her fiance, human nature expects that she'll want to do something about this babe too.

Now, sweetie, one thing I do when emotions wanna take over me is sit down quietly in a place and talk to myself. I give myself a million and one reasons why I should follow my brain right now than my feelings. This lady has hurt you, no doubt, she has taken you for granted, dared you and made you feel worthless but in the end, try and channel the hurt back to your fiance. If your fiance did not allow it, it wouldn't have happened in the first place. Take your time and let go of the babe, it's not gonna be easy but if you do anything st*pid, people are gonna blame you and you're gonna blame yourself also. Just try to ignore the babe (it's gonna be hard) but you can make it easier by telling yourself that it's your fiance that caused it in the first place.

As per your fiance, babe, if you know you're ready to free him to do his stuffs for as long as you're married, then, by all means go ahead with this marriage but if you cannot allow some chick to be managing your husband for you, you need to let him go. That is gonna be another tough decision but trust me, in the next 5 years when you come to the family section with the topic "I saw used condoms on my husband's d*ck" , the first questions you're gonna be asked is "Didn't you notice it when you were courting"? and that is one question that would hunt you for the rest of time. You have put a lot into this relationship and probably built your life around it but you really don't want to be going for HIV test after each encounter with your own husband. No matter how much you deal with him or punish him, a randy man is always gonna be randy. Cut him loose, don't believe that it is over, it is not over! You can do it, you can start again, whatever you've done for him or vice versa, just see it as something you owe each other. It's gonna be painful but shit happenz!









On the flip-side, there is a 0.00000001% that the babe is tryna get to you, you wanna explore that tiny winy percentage cos it's a possibility, even though it doesn't seem possible. Try and find out the truth before you start acting.
WISH YOU WISDOM TO HANDLE ALL THESE!
CHEERS!

kofsy:


We would still come to the stage of dealing with the cheating fiance... But let me remind you that the victim does not want any extreme measure like breaking up with him(sis, they have gone so far). She just wants to deal with this maturely since he's denying he never had anything to do with the girl(even though they exchange calls like a billion times a day) and reassuring his fiancee of how much he loves her and promises her marriage.

She only wants to salvage the situation by sending away the wild animal and then coming back to handle the chicken.

Let's talk about how she'd get her man back and then teach him his own lesson in whichever way he'd never forget. But the audacious and plucky slut must be dealt with first.

I now understand what people mean when they say Naija girls are despirate for marriage. A guy has proposed to you and you know he is cheating but you want to go fight the other woman. You make me laugh. All I can say is that three years time you will have moved over to the family section to ask us "how to handle a cheating husband".
And you actually said you will deal with the fiance later. What will you do to him? Ok you will marry him and how will you deal with him after that? He will only continue cheating and you will continue fighting. Your story (and your friend's) is really sad. Despiration at its peak. If your fiancee can stoop so low to be sleeping with that kinda sluttish girl (who doesnt mid owning up), then its either he does not deserve you or you are not better than the girl he is sleeping with!

It takes two to cheat and both would be ghost.

Cathaliya:
The truth is finally out...
So, it is you?



Chai, Cathaliya idiegwu...

Romance section una tew mussh
She only selected the answers she wants to hear

Check her profile and see that she just met his family

I know how it feels when you post a personal story

and nobody sees it rom ur angle. Its her fiancé. Sorry dear

Before you accuse a man for cheating you need hard evidence.

As of now, you are confused. He said something else and the girl affirmed your suspicions. Who do you trust your man or the lady?

You see why it's good to get your hard evidence first before confrontation?

And besides the only person to deal with here is your man not the girl, ok?

kofsy:
Yes! Cos a part of me still loves him. Not that I don't feel betrayed and hurt

Young woman, you dont need to get married yet. All you need is to work on your self confidence. I have read your posts and what you generally think about guys and I am sorry to say, you are not ready for marriage. You think very little of yourself. Either you are not good looking or you are very cheap. May be you never had any toasters and you see this guys as your last hope. Or may be you are 38 yrs old! Apologies for the harsh words.

WeddingFever:

Romance section una tew musshi o
She only selected the answers she wants to hear
Check her profile and see that she just met his family
He just got UK visa! Prepare to carry ur fight INTERNATIONAL
I know how it feels when you post a personal story
and nobody sees it rom ur angle. Its her fiancé. Sorry dear

me no understand your yarns o.

Who dey go Uk? Who dey fight international fight?


Kowaciate biko...