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Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by tgold2(m): 2:05pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Everyone who is sexually active at some point in their life had to have sex for the first time. It was probably awkward and weird for most people, but there are some things that virgins typically do that seem to make the whole experience more difficult for everyone involved. So, I have compiled a list of mistakes virgins typically make so that you (if you are virgin) do not have to make the same mistakes. 1. Waiting for the impossible. Some people want to wait for the perfect person in the perfect situation but, unfortunately, it’s just not going to happen. Whether you’re thing is perfect tits or true love, it’s silly to get overly hung up about virginity because losing it probably won’t go the way you expect anyway. Even if you eventually meet your perfect person, wouldn’t you rather get all your weird virgin hangups out of the way beforehand? The only exception to this is if you believe you should wait until marriage – if you only plan to have sex with one person in your life you won’t be losing anything by waiting for them. 2. Expecting too much. Some people expect it to be wonderful, some people expect it to be horrible, but either way people expect big things out of losing virginity. The simple truth is it’s not such a big deal. You won’t look or smell any different than you did beforehand. The first time I had sex I almost felt let down – it took about thirty seconds and I couldn’t help thinking “so this is it?” 3. Not talking. So yeah, in the movies and porn the only noises people make are completely unintelligible. In the real world, however, sometimes you gotta ask what’s going on. Many virgins don’t realize this, and think they will look more experienced/suave/ whatever if they silently get on with what they’re doing. But let me tell, you spending 5 minutes trying to fumble a dick into the wrong hole is waaaaaaaay more awkward than just saying, “hey, could you give me a hand?” 4. Being too serious. Often people losing their virginity look more like they’re sitting through Sunday’s service than getting bleeped. Frankly, sex is pretty goofy and there’s no reason to pretend otherwise. Generally, it’s poor form to laugh at your partner (you’ll make them self conscious) but anything else goes. If you accidentally squirt lube all over the bed, or get jizz in your eyebrows, just laugh it off. No biggie. 5. Being too stoic. This seems like a particularly male thing, but often people play down how turned on they are or whatever because they don’t want to come off as overeager or something. It’s kind of dumb, because most people get turned on when they see someone else turned on. Many girls especially have poor body image, and may get self conscious if they feel that their partner is somewhat disinterested. Oh, and no matter what gender you are, if you are on bottom move your fucking hips. Most people don’t like to feel like they’re fucking a corpse. 6. Wanting to know when pre-intimacy is over. pre-intimacy can be unsettling if it could potentially be leading up to having sex with someone you’ve never bleeped before (even if you’re not a virgin) and you may be left wondering when does the pre-intimacy end and the sex begin? There is no right answer, because people can be very different in this respect. However, I’d say the bounds are at least 15 minutes if you don’t know the person, but it could possibly up to one or two hours. Girls usually take longer to get in the mood, so if you’re getting with a girl perhaps err on the side of more time, but if you’re getting with a guy you can keep it a little shorter. If things last for really long (say, more than two hours) and you don’t take a snack break or something, you may run up against human limitations because people can only stay turned on for so long. Then again, I had a friend who said he liked pre-intimacy for hours and hours so maybe not. 7. Fucking up the condom. Chances are if you don’t have a lot of sex (like, if you’re a virgin), when you do you’ll be using a condom. If you think there’s any chance you may be getting laid ever, there’s no excuse not to know how to put on a condom regardless of your gender. Just go and get a family pack (anti-family pack?) and practice putting them on either yourself of a zucchini. Your first priority is putting it on correctly (if you don’t know how ask the internet), and your second priority is doing it quickly. Practice in extenuating circumstances, like in the dark, while on the phone, or with three of your four limbs chained to the bed, because you never know where you’re going to find yourself. 8. Not using lube. Some people regularly use lube, some don’t, but the first time you have sex just use it – especially if you’re female. The worst thing that will happen is that everything will be a bit too wet and you get some squishy sounds. It will, however, reduce any pain and make it less likely that the condom will break. You may want a towel or something though to wipe yourself off on. 9. Expecting the guy to go fast. The stereotype is that the guy will come in like 30 seconds, and while that might happen, it also might not. It’s almost easier if the guy is really quick because that’s what is expected. However, a substantial portion of guys actually don’t orgasm the first time they have sex and it’s okay to stop if it just looks like it’s not happening. My empirical research suggests that 1/4 guys will come very quickly, 1/4 won’t come at all, and about 1/2 will take an awkwardly long time. 10. Feeling Guilt. I don’t know if it’s this culture, or if this is a more universal thing about sex, but many people feel guilty about sex particularly the first time. Don’t worry about it – people have been having sex from long before you were born and will be having sex long after you die. Sometimes it’s really raunchy sex too, with blood, human excrement, animals and whatever else. So, no matter how gross or icky you feel, I can guarantee you there is someone out there at least 100 times grosser than you. Anyway, nothing can quite prepare you for your first time. Just remember not to stress out about it too much. In the long run, it’s not really that big a deal. |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by tgold2(m): 2:44pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Waiting for contributions from the inteligent nairalanders. 1 Like |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by westcodes(m): 4:40pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Maybe if you make it look less like a poem... What do you think? 6 Likes |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Nobody: 5:46pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
:/ smh |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Abbey2sam(m): 6:34pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Na you sabi |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Nomski0(f): 7:13pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Why in God's name are you so obsessed with virginity You just opened two threads about virginity in less than twenty-four hours! Are you like the male version of Onila? |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by dBard: 7:30pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
I think u done touched all d bases Nice write up.. Bottom line.. don't expect too much, don't make it such a big deal n u might actually end up bein pleasantly surprised.. 1 Like |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by tgold2(m): 7:59pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Nomski0: Why in God's name are you so obsessed with virginity Nomski0: Why in God's name are you so obsessed with virginityI'm so obsessed because i'm 1. /winks/ proud to be. |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Nobody: 8:25pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Proud Virgin. Keeping the zip up; until marriage. (The girl better worth it, else na cheating things ooo) #TeamVirgin. 1 Like |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Nomski0(f): 8:38pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
t.gold:I was right! You truly are the male version of Onila. You should check out her topics, she's responsible for like half of the topics in the sexuality section. |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Missprettie(f): 8:58pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Pulease, Smbdy shld help summarize dat.. |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Nobody: 9:28pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Nomski0:that's a damn record I swear to it lol |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Nobody: 9:31pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Op, did u just write a poem or what? u skipped writting technique classes? |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by tgold2(m): 9:39pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Miss prettie: Pulease, Smbdy shld help summarize dat..That sounds more like you finding it difficult to read through the lines |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Pdizzle(m): 11:15pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
warris dis |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Tuntheycr7: 11:17pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
OP You are such a terrible writter. May d gods punish anybdy dt cud b responsible 4dat. |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by UyiIredia(m): 11:38pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
t.gold: Don't expect too much from 'em. Nice write-up. And whilst I am aware of what you've stated the reminder is needed. I want to use this chance to correct the impression that all virgins are naïve about $€x or get frigid in bed. While the rule-of-thumb is reasonable it doesn't strictly hold. Another one is that virginity equals $€lf-control wrt s€x . . . not really . . . some virgins are avid wanckers or active lustful thinkers who simply haven't had the chance to get laid. Finally, it would be worthwhile if non-virgins stop mocking virgins, I find that silly. |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Mishydoo(m): 1:14am On Sep 29, 2013 |
Nyc writup....buh I'll ask, should you tell her its ur first time? Tendency is der she'll look down on ur performance or grade u with bias....am really lookin out for the comments dat follo d show! |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Brimmie(m): 6:12am On Sep 29, 2013 |
And I Actually Ditch Solat To Read Ds !?? Allah Forgive Me! |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Missprettie(f): 6:57am On Sep 29, 2013 |
t.gold:Can't read it coz it's 2 long... |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by tgold2(m): 7:01am On Sep 29, 2013 |
[color=#770077][/color] @Uyi oredia I LIKE THE WAY U THINK,thanks for bailing me out of the cold hands of the haters. |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by nickz(m): 7:02am On Sep 29, 2013 |
The only reason that's gonna make me. give a f*uck is giving to a fellow V.besides that,I aint giving no fu*k.#TeamFu*kstrike |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by dagentility(f): 8:25am On Sep 29, 2013 |
@ OP ur post is too clustered,found it a little bit difficult to read. @ post, is dat a subtle way of mocking virgins and discouraging them from keeping their virginity. |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Nobody: 9:41am On Sep 29, 2013 |
. |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Swaggot00(m): 12:56pm On Sep 29, 2013 |
adeaugustus: Proud Virgin. Keeping the zip up; until marriage.#TeamVirgin.re u sure your joystick is working? I doubt . |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Nobody: 4:39pm On Sep 29, 2013 |
Swaggot00: re u sure your joystick is working? I doubt .Yeah, it is. And that's why I have been able to control it and not allowing it to control me. 1 Like |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by sexymoma(f): 5:04pm On Sep 29, 2013 |
Nomski0:are you serious I never knew Nomski0:are you serious I never knew |
Re: Common Mistakes Virgins Make. by Nomski0(f): 5:16pm On Sep 29, 2013 |
sexymoma: are you serious I never knewTrue story o. Onila opens sex stories like every 5hours. Btw, sexymoma where you dey sef? |
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