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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. (11866 Views)
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Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Obinnau(m): 6:00am On Oct 05, 2013 |
E<R>F:I didn't mean for you to hurt your head o. you are welcome. |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Tonia500(f): 7:16am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Thank you bt ur work is nt an amatuer piece,u are better than in terms of writing thank you for the honour. |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by EzePromoe: 8:41am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Bros ERF, you've got that talent in you. You are the bomb. Though I haven't finish reading it but I see some substance of ingenuity in the begining. Talking about amateur, just spare me that balderdash. I have never seen any amateur work here on Nairaland, everyone is a prowess. Story-telling is a natural trait in Nigerians hence the success of Nollywood. Kudos bro |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 9:00am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Obinnau: I didn't mean for you to hurt your head o.LoL That is what i call "DOUBLE THANKS" Now is up to you sire.. . What do you like or don't like about this story? |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 9:03am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Tonia500: Thank you bt ur work is nt an amatuer piece,u are better than in terms of writingYou are welcome my sister, u guys made me really happy. Thanks for that flattery again. . Now tell me what you like and don't like about the story? |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 9:06am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Eze Promoe: Bros ERF, you've got that talent in you. You are the bomb. Though I haven't finish reading it but I see some substance of ingenuity in the begining. Eessh.. Thanks alot My Boss. The beginning might be better than the ending ooh Please grant me this one favour. . . Run throught it, and tell what you like and don't like.. Thanks in advance |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Tonia500(f): 9:31am On Oct 05, 2013 |
E<R>F:that is nt flattery, and the truth is i enjoyed everything about the story. |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Obinnau(m): 9:51am On Oct 05, 2013 |
from what I can deduce in the story, you wouldn't have problems handling longer scripts in future, I admire the way you incorporated the message of God into your story and still pass the message you intend to pass across. You could have chosen to elongate the story by digressing a little into how the chief's household was, the relationship he had with his father, brother, even including conversations. More than that your writing skills are good 1 Like |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 10:02am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Tonia500: that is nt flattery, and the truth is i enjoyed everything about the story. Woww. . Thanks ma'am. But you must dislike something na |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by adegwurulez(m): 10:10am On Oct 05, 2013 |
E<R>F:i'll be honoured sire |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Cestmoi1(f): 10:10am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Awwww....#wipes tears,he called me a 'princess'.This your story is a stepping stone to greater ones.Don't relent and thanks for the vote of thanks. P.s- I'm not 'ma' o. 1 Like |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 10:19am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Obinnau: from what I can deduce in the story, you wouldn't have problems handling longer scripts in future, I admire the way you incorporated the message of God into your story and still pass the message you intend to pass across. You could have chosen to elongate the story by digressing a little into how the chief's household was, the relationship he had with his father, brother, even including conversations. More than that your writing skills are good Thank you sire. . Wow! The truth is, the original plot was a bit shorter than this. . . I just wanted to write something to see what the reactions would be like. I would have described the house and household but. . .mak i no fall my amateuristic hand, since i neva read reach I would have added the background of the Chief and etc, but i felt it would make it unneccesarily complex; Next time i'd follow my heart Above all, this would be the ending part of a story i had in mind titled "FEARFUL FEARLESS" to show you how complex it would be. I havn't really got the boldness to start writting, i feel i'm not competent enough... So make i bench first. But if you need some hidden facts in the story, i can tell you. . . .should i? |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Obinnau(m): 10:27am On Oct 05, 2013 |
E<R>F:no dont |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by adegwurulez(m): 10:29am On Oct 05, 2013 |
haba na, better start ryt 'FEARFUL FEARLESS' nw before i send Lucigbon to u o |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Nobody: 10:34am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Chai, Ef my guy, thanks 4 the vote of thanks. You are great. But wait o, me dey bring spice? Which kind of spice, maggi and salt abi? Thank God, na only boiled water and eba don't need spice. You could have made it long by telling us how emiru was born, how d chief was crowned, how he was cruel, how dt herbalist became powerful how he joined cult. But even without all this your story is superb. |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 10:37am On Oct 05, 2013 |
C'est moi:You worth more than a princess dear, i'm very sorry for under rating you to a "princess" Thanks Alot sire. . .oups, ma . . . Ohkay dear! Now please tell me what you like and don't like about the story pleasee? |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 10:40am On Oct 05, 2013 |
adegwurulez: I will sire, make i know book small. @your post2 Habaa, i want that work to be higher than an amateur ooh . . .that work fit take more than one year self. . |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 10:42am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Obinnau: no dontSure, i won't. Thanks |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 10:48am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Damex333: Chai, Ef my guy, thanks 4 the vote of thanks. You are great.na Onions... Thanks boss. Yep boss, all that would be in "FEARFUL FEARLESS" It would be damn bulky! I pray it won't amount to a drudgery . . . Thanks alot sire.. So sir, could you tell me what you like and don't like about it? |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 10:49am On Oct 05, 2013 |
adegwurulez: haba na, better start ryt 'FEARFUL FEARLESS' nw before i send Lucigbon to u oMy man, what do you like and don't like about this story? Talk true ow |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Kslib(m): 11:41am On Oct 05, 2013 |
Nice story.. I liked it. Trust me,it's in you. The talent is there and everything needed to be a fantastic writer. The fact this this is your first work,is a testimony to the fact you're a talented writer in the making. It isn't child's play to sit down and write a story. Anybody who has ever written a letter,an eulogy or a story will agree with me. It takes a great deal of confidence and self belief to even dare post a story in the Lit section when we have many guru and fantastic writers,coupled with the fact that some readers never forget to use their acidic saliva and sword-like tongue to give their feedbacks.lol You have done well and it was nice read. .. .. All izz well! 1 Like |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 11:53am On Oct 05, 2013 |
^^ Thank you very much ßoss, i'm swelling er...m could you point out what you like and don't like about the story? |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Kslib(m): 1:56pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
E<R>F:I don't know why you keep calling me "sir" "boss".lol You are welcome.. You just made frontPage!! Yaaaayyyyyy!!!!! **Pops champagne** .. .. All izz well! |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by adegwurulez(m): 2:14pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
adegwurulez: yesoooo i'm one of ur pioneer fans. jst incase dis makes front page, i was hereI said it!!!!!!!! i should put prophet in front of my name |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Omolola1(f): 2:27pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
You are too humble jor Amateur? X Master piece (check) Captivating (double-check) Interesting (tripple-check) Nice one! |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Nobody: 2:28pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
You are on front page. Wow. Congrats to you guy. |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by jamesben91(m): 2:34pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
[quote author=E<R>F]It was un-usually cold that uncertain Tuesday evening. Cold innocent air ran through the face of the Chief as he tossed uncomfortably while sitting on the gold coloured magnificient chair. He thought about the happenings in his own nutured kingdom- his mighty fortress, his power and authority being dragged to dust by a once rejected son of a diseased father. He cursed the day the young man was born, he regreted his actions: for not allowing Ozoigbon the great priest, to do the killing of the young man himself. What a great loss a negligeble mistake as such, had caused. "oooh, why now that i'm at the peak of my reign?" He thought aloud. The guard nearest to him was alert at his master,. "what should be bodering this great cheif?" That was what his facial expression read. The chief gave him a knowing look, on realizing his mistake and asked him to piss 'off. Like lightening the guard was off. Now he was alone, his most trusted guard was out. He was free to think even louder without worries. He looked upward and fixed his gaze at gigantic ceiling fan rotating speedingly, he shook his head slowly and bit his lower lips. "what is wrong with me?" He asked himself rhetorically. He was supposed to be the strong-hearted god-like creature highly feared and highly revered in his kingdom and all over Africa. Here he sat, so engrossed in his thought; that it seems he would go mad. He was deeply in thoughts mixed with soliloquy when he noticed something. He fixed his gaze at a creature who appeared obstructing his view, it had the shape of a man, extremely dark in appearance, it had something like horns and thorns all over his body. It held a spear in his hand, and was approaching with a great speed towards him. The Chief left out a very brisk shout in fear, he held his hands together with his mouth agape, and eyes wide opened as if in great shock. "It's me your Highness" The chief heard in disbelief, he thought he saw an approaching beast, a beast addressing him as "Your Highness?" what an irony. He melted. There stood Edafe, the chief's most trusted guard half bent, with his hands almost touching the bricked floor- he almost lying flat on the floor. He was pleading, begging for his life. It was a purnishable offence to scare the great Chief. The last guard that did it out of drunkeness was boiled to death, now Edafe was lying down flat begging for even a reduction in his purnishment. He came in to deliver an urgent message to the King: That The Chief's arch enemy visits, only to find the king shifting backwards and shouting in great fear and dismay. He was dead. "Stand up and stand out," Edafe heard the Chief saying. Edafe stood out waiting for his death sentence, he prayed silently. "Let it be a quick death," he wished. "I asked you out, why are you here?" The chief asked angrily. "I'm sorry Your Highness" Edafe retorted confusingly. Now the Chief was almost boiling, he needed an answer and not an apology; he tried relaxing himself in an attempt to bring down his high temper, before he do something he would definately soonest. "I had an urgent call that Emiru visits you" Edafe added. ""Emiru?" the chief said, rather rhetorically. The same young man he detests so dearly visits him, or what's he talking about?" What on the deep blue hell would that troll-like creature wants from him. He had been the cause of his agony, the pains he'd been nursing secretly. He'd changed his once Autocratic Kingdom into a near democratic one, but for the help of Ozoigbon. |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by jamesben91(m): 2:39pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
I think its "...before he DOES something he would DEFINITELY regret soonest" |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by precyjewell(f): 2:49pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
Nice write up,keep it up |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by temhab(f): 3:13pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
Thanks for d honour and wow it's in front page |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by Tonia500(f): 3:55pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
E<R>F:That would be where ozoigbon was killed by lucifer. |
Re: "The Lesser Power" - A Short Amazin Story. by ERF: 5:38pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
Omolola1: You are too humble jor Aunty!!! I don't really know what to type right now. . . . . .but "Thank You Ma" I'll remain forever Humble ...if that would make me progress. More than a trillion love ma.. Did i just made frontpage? Hurrray!! God purnish devil for blanking my sim card, he released it just now.. Special Thanks to the Mods that honoured my request. . . . And to all my Friends . . . I Love You All, bobos and damsel . . . Muah:* |
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