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Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash - Politics (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by tonididdy(m): 1:17am On Oct 04, 2013
IGBO-SON:


^^^You mind keeping your sordid jokes of gay ince/st and peodophilia to yourself? Cheers!
An Igbo man went to the holy land in Israel,while
there he visited the sea of Galilee.When asked to
take a boat,he asked ''HOW MUCH'' $500 said the
boat man.. ''CHINEKE'' screamed the Igbo man and
said, NO WONDER JESUS WALK ON WATER...

3 Likes

Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by tonididdy(m): 1:21am On Oct 04, 2013
An Edo Man invited his friends for his mother's
burial. After lowering the coffin, the family put yam,
rice, meat etc, into the grave in line with tradition.
An hausa man asked why? The Edo man smiled
&said, ccording to our tradition, the dead go on a
long journey & need all the food items they can get". The hausa man dropped N100,000 inside and said,
"when the food finish, buy more". The yoruba man
dropped N50,000 and said, "add this incase it's not
enough". The Igbo man smiled and brought out his cheque
book & wrote a cheque of N200,000, dropped it in
the coffin & took the N150,000 notes as a change,
then said, "Nwanne, withdraw when you reach dia
o...It is going to be a dangerous journey we don't
know how many robbers are out there and afterall we are in a cashless economy na! Travel well o!"

7 Likes

Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by tonididdy(m): 1:25am On Oct 04, 2013
IGBO-SON:


^^^You mind keeping your sordid jokes of gay ince/st and peodophilia to yourself? Cheers!
A naked lady ran into an
Igbo man’s taxi. She told the
driver where she was going.
The lgbo man didn’t start the
car but he was just staring at
the girl over & over again. The lady saw him and said: what’s
ur problem man?? Haven’t u
seen a naked lady before
Igbo man replied: l am not
looking at ur unclothedness, I was
just wondering where U kept the money u are going to pay
me.

5 Likes

Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by tonididdy(m): 1:27am On Oct 04, 2013
A Yoruba Man & an Ibo man were caught in
Saudi, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer.Dey
were arrested n taken 2 D Sheikh's palace 4
judgement. Both were initially given a death
sentence but, as it was a national holiday,
the sheikh decided Dey should be released after many lashes of the whip. As they were
preparing for their punishment, the sheikh
said, "It's my first wife's birthday today and
she asked me to allow each of you 2 wishes
before your whipping, but you cannot wish
not to be whipped less than 20 strokes! The Yoruba man thought for a second then said:
"Please tie two pillows to my back before
whipping." And my second wish is that you
flog me only 20 strokes of the whip. He was
whipped. The Ibo man saw Dis; thought for
a second, then said: "Thank u" My first wish is to receive 100 lashes with the strongest,
toughest whip available.":O "If u so desire,"
the sheikh replied with a puzzled look on his
face, , "and ur second wish?" Ibo man
replies: "Tie the Yoruba man to my back.

2 Likes

Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by babybuzx(f): 1:28am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy:
SURE LOL grin
A pLane waz ab0ut 2
crash and there were
onLy 4 parachutes
meanwhiLe there were
5 passenqers. The first
pers0n waz Messi and he said: ''Yh0u kn0w I'm
the best footbalLer, I
cant die n0w." He took
one parachute and left.
The sec0nd, who was
Aliko Dangote said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
richest man in Africa
and I'm 2 young to die."
So he took the sec0nd
parachute and left.
Prezident Jonathan said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
smartest Prezident in
the w0rld so I cant die
n0w." He took one and
left. The passenqers
left were Pope John Paul and a little schooL gurL.
The Pope said 2 her:
"Take the last one, I'lL
sacrifice my life for
yh0u". The little gurL
repLied: "There are 2 parachutes left,
Jonathan took my
schooL bag."
I neva brush my teeth I for laff and show u chai he is indeed smart. There he innovates dis saying "wot a parachute can do a sch bag can do better\=D/W-O-N-D-E-R-S!!!

1 Like

Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by born2boink(m): 1:28am On Oct 04, 2013
" A living Dog better than the Dead Lion" .....
" A living beggar better than the dead president"

Awesome God, I must be born again someday.......
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by donphilopus: 1:57am On Oct 04, 2013
born2fuck: " A living Dog better than the Dead Lion" .....
" A living beggar better than the dead president"

Awesome God, I must be born again someday.......
i pray so
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by adeyrule(m): 2:05am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy: » A lady visited a Sex Doctor WOMAN: My Husband is not interested in sex. DOCTOR: Ok! give these pills to him. Everyday, put 1 pill in his tea. the woman did and they had sex which they enjoyed. Next day she puts 2 pills in his tea and they enjoyed much more sex. 3rd day, she emptied the whole bottle in his tea. Two days later Doctor called to know the progress. Her Son picked and replied: Mom is in coma at d moment, Aunt is in hospital, Maid is suing Dad for rape, My own ass hurts and its bleeding and Dad is still running naked in d garden, shouting Bingo! Bingo!! Bingo!!! Even the Dogs are running 4 their lives.
d person wey post this actually needs a suarez bite,we dey talk beta tin u dey tlk rubbish
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by emmabest2000(m): 3:53am On Oct 04, 2013
priscaoge: Abeg dis plane crash gist don do joorr, so many souls were perished wen som hoodlums stormed a College of Agriculture in the North and it didn't make headlines like dis plane crash,because Top government officials are involved person no go hear word. Those students dt lost der lives are they not Nigerians? Are they not human beings? Enof of this plane crash stuff. Ppl roast via road accidents everyday becos of bad road yet no body hear am. I wan go back 2 sch ooo abeg ASUU *Keke,abeg com and take mi 2 Ghana,Naija don tire mi*#crying#
Ada Owerri jiri ya nwayo grin Ghana must go cheesy
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by adavetee(m): 3:55am On Oct 04, 2013
All of you are too funny.
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by emmabest2000(m): 3:58am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy: A Yoruba Man & an Ibo man were caught in
Saudi, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer.Dey
were arrested n taken 2 D Sheikh's palace 4
judgement. Both were initially given a death
sentence but, as it was a national holiday,
the sheikh decided Dey should be released after many lashes of the whip. As they were
preparing for their punishment, the sheikh
said, "It's my first wife's birthday today and
she asked me to allow each of you 2 wishes
before your whipping, but you cannot wish
not to be whipped less than 20 strokes! The Yoruba man thought for a second then said:
"Please tie two pillows to my back before
whipping." And my second wish is that you
flog me only 20 strokes of the whip. He was
whipped. The Ibo man saw Dis; thought for
a second, then said: "Thank u" My first wish is to receive 100 lashes with the strongest,
toughest whip available.":O "If u so desire,"
the sheikh replied with a puzzled look on his
face, , "and ur second wish?" Ibo man
replies: "Tie the Yoruba man to my back.
grin
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by victorazy(m): 5:13am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy:
SURE LOL grin
A pLane waz ab0ut 2
crash and there were
onLy 4 parachutes
meanwhiLe there were
5 passenqers. The first
pers0n waz Messi and he said: ''Yh0u kn0w I'm
the best footbalLer, I
cant die n0w." He took
one parachute and left.
The sec0nd, who was
Aliko Dangote said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
richest man in Africa
and I'm 2 young to die."
So he took the sec0nd
parachute and left.
Prezident Jonathan said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
smartest Prezident in
the w0rld so I cant die
n0w." He took one and
left. The passenqers
left were Pope John Paul and a little schooL gurL.
The Pope said 2 her:
"Take the last one, I'lL
sacrifice my life for
yh0u". The little gurL
repLied: "There are 2 parachutes left,
Jonathan took my
schooL bag."

Guy u mean our presido na "Ode" Odechukwu! grin
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by 3ace(m): 5:21am On Oct 04, 2013
ANAMBRA11: grin chineke mekwala'nmadu ebere! Laff don tear my boxers
Tear your boxers? That must be the work of joystick.
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by Deschil: 5:43am On Oct 04, 2013
Must every joke have a GAY inference Sickening!
tonididdy: » A lady visited a Sex Doctor WOMAN: My Husband is not interested in sex. DOCTOR: Ok! give these pills to him. Everyday, put 1 pill in his tea. the woman did and they had sex which they enjoyed. Next day she puts 2 pills in his tea and they enjoyed much more sex. 3rd day, she emptied the whole bottle in his tea. Two days later Doctor called to know the progress. Her Son picked and replied: Mom is in coma at d moment, Aunt is in hospital, Maid is suing Dad for rape, My own ass hurts and its bleeding and Dad is still running naked in d garden, shouting Bingo! Bingo!! Bingo!!! Even the Dogs are running 4 their lives.
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by nerodenero: 6:04am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy: A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in
his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed the wrong email
address, and without realizing he sent the mail to a
widow
who has just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting
condolence messages from relatives and friends.
After
reading the first message she fainted instantly.
The son rushed into the room, found his mother on
the floor and saw d computer screen which read: 'To my loving wife, i know you are surprised to hear
from me, they have computers here and we are
allowed to send mails to loved ones. I 've just been
checked in. How are u and d kids, the place is really
nice but am lonely here. I have made necessary
arrangement for your arrival tomorrow. Expecting u darling. I cant wait to see you..
The Son is presently in coma ;(
gringringrin
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by ChiSun27(m): 6:27am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy:
SURE LOL grin
A pLane waz ab0ut 2
crash and there were
onLy 4 parachutes
meanwhiLe there were
5 passenqers. The first
pers0n waz Messi and he said: ''Yh0u kn0w I'm
the best footbalLer, I
cant die n0w." He took
one parachute and left.
The sec0nd, who was
Aliko Dangote said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
richest man in Africa
and I'm 2 young to die."
So he took the sec0nd
parachute and left.
Prezident Jonathan said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
smartest Prezident in
the w0rld so I cant die
n0w." He took one and
left. The passenqers
left were Pope John Paul and a little schooL gurL.
The Pope said 2 her:
"Take the last one, I'lL
sacrifice my life for
yh0u". The little gurL
repLied: "There are 2 parachutes left,
Jonathan took my
schooL bag."

U dey mad ni. Na my President you dey disrespect abi? God pass all of una.
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by Nobody: 6:38am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy: In a family a Husband earns 150k every month, n
wife earns 1million every month and they both
worked in d same company. Who should resigned
2tak care of d kids?
grin grin grin

goodnight ya'all 1love

please FOLLOW ME on nairaland https://www.nairaland.com/tonididdy ...and click (follow this member) thanks

Reported to mods. What sort of infantile attenntion seeking eejit posts stupid colorless jokes on a thread about a plane crash?
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by afangide(m): 6:42am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy: » A lady visited a Sex Doctor WOMAN: My Husband is not interested in sex. DOCTOR: Ok! give these pills to him. Everyday, put 1 pill in his tea. the woman did and they had sex which they enjoyed. Next day she puts 2 pills in his tea and they enjoyed much more sex. 3rd day, she emptied the whole bottle in his tea. Two days later Doctor called to know the progress. Her Son picked and replied: Mom is in coma at d moment, Aunt is in hospital, Maid is suing Dad for rape, My own ass hurts and its bleeding and Dad is still running naked in d garden, shouting Bingo! Bingo!! Bingo!!! Even the Dogs are running 4 their lives.
Yaba left candidate
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by leonshom(m): 6:46am On Oct 04, 2013
I can see undecided
priscaoge: Abeg dis plane crash gist don do joorr, so many souls were perished wen som hoodlums stormed a College of Agriculture in the North and it didn't make headlines like dis plane crash,because Top government officials are involved person no go hear word. Those students dt lost der lives are they not Nigerians? Are they not human beings? Enof of this plane crash stuff. Ppl roast via road accidents everyday becos of bad road yet no body hear am. I wan go back 2 sch ooo abeg ASUU *Keke,abeg com and take mi 2 Ghana,Naija don tire mi*#crying#
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by obicentlis: 6:53am On Oct 04, 2013
Morethan 20 persons die daily on our Nigerian roads and it has not generated this heat. Am not happy that the incident happened but we should equally give the same attention to road Users too.

1 Like

Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by Sunsat(m): 7:26am On Oct 04, 2013
priscaoge: Abeg dis plane crash gist don do joorr, so many souls were perished wen som hoodlums stormed a College of Agriculture in the North and it didn't make headlines like dis plane crash,because Top government officials are involved person no go hear word. Those students dt lost der lives are they not Nigerians? Are they not human beings? Enof of this plane crash stuff. Ppl roast via road accidents everyday becos of bad road yet no body hear am. I wan go back 2 sch ooo abeg ASUU *Keke,abeg com and take mi 2 Ghana,Naija don tire mi*#crying#
Abeg, talk to them, person no go hear word. No be people burnt to ashes in a luxurious bus some months ago on thier way to East, no be over 100 students was killed by unknown gun men, it still does not make news head line. Nigerians are all illiterate.
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by tayork(m): 7:34am On Oct 04, 2013
From agagu to joke forum.....nice one o.#makeide watchuna den
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by Trakame(m): 7:46am On Oct 04, 2013
obicentlis: Morethan 20 persons die daily on our Nigerian roads and it has not generated this heat. Am not happy that the incident happened but we should equally give the same attention to road Users too.
obicentlis: Morethan 20 persons die daily on our Nigerian roads and it has not generated this heat. Am not happy that the incident happened but we should equally give the same attention to road Users too.
obicentlis: Morethan 20 persons die daily on our Nigerian roads and it has not generated this heat. Am not happy that the incident happened but we should equally give the same attention to road Users too.
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by Trakame(m): 7:49am On Oct 04, 2013
A public figure waz involve,so stop seein injustice in it
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by Malachy27: 7:56am On Oct 04, 2013
...OH WHAT A LOSS!!!!!

Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by shejane: 8:13am On Oct 04, 2013
IGBO-SON:


^^^You mind keeping your sordid jokes of gay ince/st and peodophilia to yourself? Cheers!

Ar u a sadist mister? Jus asking
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by kensnoop: 8:15am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy:
SURE LOL grin
A pLane waz ab0ut 2
crash and there were
onLy 4 parachutes
meanwhiLe there were
5 passenqers. The first
pers0n waz Messi and he said: ''Yh0u kn0w I'm
the best footbalLer, I
cant die n0w." He took
one parachute and left.
The sec0nd, who was
Aliko Dangote said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
richest man in Africa
and I'm 2 young to die."
So he took the sec0nd
parachute and left.
Prezident Jonathan said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
smartest Prezident in
the w0rld so I cant die
n0w." He took one and
left. The passenqers
left were Pope John Paul and a little schooL gurL.
The Pope said 2 her:
"Take the last one, I'lL
sacrifice my life for
yh0u". The little gurL
repLied: "There are 2 parachutes left,
Jonathan took my
schooL bag."
ha ha ha ha ah ah ahha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I don die!!!!!!!!!!!!! See joke
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by Emmonski(m): 8:23am On Oct 04, 2013
[quote author=tonididdy]A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in
his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed the wrong email
address, and without realizing he sent the mail to a
widow
who has just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting
condolence messages from relatives and friends.
After
reading the first message she fainted instantly.
The son rushed into the room, found his mother on
the floor and saw d computer screen which read: 'To my loving wife, i know you are surprised to hear
from me, they have computers here and we are
allowed to send mails to loved ones. I 've just been
checked in. How are u and d kids, the place is really
nice but am lonely here. I have made necessary
arrangement for your arrival tomorrow. Expecting u darling. I cant wait to see you..
The Son is presently in coma ;([/y u won kill me !!!!!!!!!quote]
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by Reachyrich(f): 8:27am On Oct 04, 2013
that means our presido no get eyez.
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by shejane: 8:28am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy:
SURE LOL grin
A pLane waz ab0ut 2
crash and there were
onLy 4 parachutes
meanwhiLe there were
5 passenqers. The first
pers0n waz Messi and he said: ''Yh0u kn0w I'm
the best footbalLer, I
cant die n0w." He took
one parachute and left.
The sec0nd, who was
Aliko Dangote said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
richest man in Africa
and I'm 2 young to die."
So he took the sec0nd
parachute and left.
Prezident Jonathan said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
smartest Prezident in
the w0rld so I cant die
n0w." He took one and
left. The passenqers
left were Pope John Paul and a little schooL gurL.
The Pope said 2 her:
"Take the last one, I'lL
sacrifice my life for
yh0u". The little gurL
repLied: "There are 2 parachutes left,
Jonathan took my
schooL bag."

Lolz am nt surprise say jona carry skulbag

Is expected of him na hahahahaahha
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by JOXY(f): 8:44am On Oct 04, 2013
tonididdy: A Yoruba Man & an Ibo man were caught in
Saudi, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer.Dey
were arrested n taken 2 D Sheikh's palace 4
judgement. Both were initially given a death
sentence but, as it was a national holiday,
the sheikh decided Dey should be released after many lashes of the whip. As they were
preparing for their punishment, the sheikh
said, "It's my first wife's birthday today and
she asked me to allow each of you 2 wishes
before your whipping, but you cannot wish
not to be whipped less than 20 strokes! The Yoruba man thought for a second then said:
"Please tie two pillows to my back before
whipping." And my second wish is that you
flog me only 20 strokes of the whip. He was
whipped. The Ibo man saw Dis; thought for
a second, then said: "Thank u" My first wish is to receive 100 lashes with the strongest,
toughest whip available.":O "If u so desire,"
the sheikh replied with a puzzled look on his
face, , "and ur second wish?" Ibo man
replies: "Tie the Yoruba man to my back.
No wonder the moderators are fast asleep. But I expect them to block all you have posted when they wake up.
Re: Ondo Govt's Statement On Lagos Crash by Booty4me: 9:03am On Oct 04, 2013
Jonathan lol.. School bag hahahahahahah grin grin grin grin


Best thread ever cheesy

SURE LOL grin
A pLane waz ab0ut 2
crash and there were
onLy 4 parachutes
meanwhiLe there were
5 passenqers. The first
pers0n waz Messi and he said: ''Yh0u kn0w I'm
the best footbalLer, I
cant die n0w." He took
one parachute and left.
The sec0nd, who was
Aliko Dangote said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
richest man in Africa
and I'm 2 young to die."
So he took the sec0nd
parachute and left.
Prezident Jonathan said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
smartest Prezident in
the w0rld so I cant die
n0w." He took one and
left. The passenqers
left were Pope John Paul and a little schooL gurL.
The Pope said 2 her:
"Take the last one, I'lL
sacrifice my life for
yh0u". The little gurL
repLied: "There are 2 parachutes left,
Jonathan took my
schooL bag."

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