goodmorning nairalandites...

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An Igbo man, Yoruba man and Hausa man who
were lost in aforest n were captured by
cannibals. The king of d cannibals told the
prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.
The 1st step was to go deep into d forest n get
ten (10) pieces of d same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.
The Yoruba man came back n said to d king, "I
brought ten (10) apples", d king explained d
trial to him, 'you have to swallow d fruits without
any expression on your face or you will be
killed. The 1st apple went in, but on d 2nd one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The Igbo
man arrived n showed d king ten (10) berries.
When d king
explained d trial to him, he thought to himself
that this
should be easy, 1,2,3,4 ,5,6,7,8 n on d ninth (9th) berry, he burst out in laughter n was killed.
The Yoruba man n Igbo man met in heaven. The
Yoruba man asked, "why did you laugh?", you
almost got away with d trial", the Igbo man
replied,"I couldn't help it, I saw the Hausa man coming with Watermelons

haaa...this one got meself laffing

A newly married Warri babe complaind to her
Calabar husband over his aggressiveness and lack
of tact in bed.
That night as 'oga' prepared for bed, he smiled and
winked at her whenever possible; on finally getting
into bed, he said to her "...honey, could you please pass me the vergina

may their souls rest in peace.

Teacher: who is a pharmacist?
Me: raised up his hand
Teacher: so its only tonididdy that is the most intelligent
student i have in this class?
So there is no body else to answer the question
eccept tonididdy? (there was no reply from the students)
teacher: ok now tonididdy, use this cane and flug them
ten strokes of cane each....
Tonididdy: full of happy gave all the student ten hot
strokes of cane....
Teacher: oyaa my dear tonididdy tell this dumb student who a pharmacist is...
Tonididdy: A Pharmacist is a farmer who assist people.
Teacher: fainted
ONE WORD FOR tonididdy ?

Mary : How was your paper
Gloria ?
Gloria : It was kind of hard;
I didn't know
the past tense of 'think'. I thought and thought and thought
for
along time then finally
wrote'thunk'
Mary : I guess you're right
because I wrote thunk after I thought 4 a while.. ...
Mary : Shit! And what
about the past tense
of 'write' ?
Gloria : I dont know what I
wrote; I think I wrote 'written' Mary : That one I didn't
even bother.
When I saw the next
number asking for
the past tense of 'go', I just went
out of the Exam Room.
Gloria : Me too, when I
reached that
number I couldn't take it
anymore. Those idiots gave us an
exam beyond our scope.

tonididdy:
SURE LOL
A pLane waz ab0ut 2
crash and there were
onLy 4 parachutes
meanwhiLe there were
5 passenqers. The first
pers0n waz Messi and he said: ''Yh0u kn0w I'm
the best footbalLer, I
cant die n0w." He took
one parachute and left.
The sec0nd, who was
Aliko Dangote said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
richest man in Africa
and I'm 2 young to die."
So he took the sec0nd
parachute and left.
Prezident Jonathan said: "Yh0u kn0w I'm the
smartest Prezident in
the w0rld so I cant die
n0w." He took one and
left. The passenqers
left were Pope John Paul and a little schooL gurL.
The Pope said 2 her:
"Take the last one, I'lL
sacrifice my life for
yh0u". The little gurL
repLied: "There are 2 parachutes left,
Jonathan took my
schooL bag."

Person don laf die oooo. Jona no wan die tooo

Lifted from Sahara Reporter

The Irony of life: double wahala for dead body & its owners Before he became a governor, Olusegun Kokumo Agagu was the Aviation Minister under Olusegun Obasanjo. Under his watch Aviation sector in Nigeria became a death trap and a nightmare for many travellers. Mr. Agagu did
nothing to revive or help the sector, but he helped his pocket. His dead body “re-died” alongside of his many other family members, a day before his internment. This reminds me of Abdukarim Adisa as minister of Works. Although he was from Ilorin, Adisa refused to fix the Ibadan Ilorin road. Few years later he died in an accident on the same road. I hope all the other imbeciles ruling Nigeria know that life & death can also be a metaphor. Corruption has a way of fighting back, when you least expect it. Fix Nigeria. You will not only invariably fix your family in the process, but your future, and your future resting place. I hope Adeseye Ogunlewe is reading this!!!

lmaoooo.... interesting jokes guys, let life live life to the fullest(LFLFTDF) *simdam500 say sooo*

tonididdy: A man ordered for a voice
automated robot car that does
anything he tells it to do
correctly without any error.
He got the car and started sending it on errands. He
became very proud of what the
car could do without mistakes.
One day, he was home and his
wife told him to tell the car to
go and pick the children from school as she was very tired.
The man agreed and said to
the car, "Car, go and bring my
children from school."
The car went and didn't return
in time as expected, they knew something must be wrong.
Several hours later and no car,
the man became apprehensive.
He dressed up and got ready
to lodge a report at the police
station. As he and his wife stepped outside they saw the
car coming with an overload of
children.
The car parked right in front of
them and said, "These are your
children sir." In the car were their Landlady's two daughters,
their choir mistress's two sons,
his wife's best friend's
daughter, their pastor's son
and their neighbours two sons.
The Wife said, "Don't tell me all these are your children ?"
The man asked her calmly, "an
you first tell me why our
children are not in the car?"

LWKMD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! despite d mood i dey in