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Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry - Family - Nairaland

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Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Nobody: 1:56pm On Oct 07, 2013
There is a stage of life called “the meantime.” This is when you are in transition from one particular season of life into another. For example, when you are making the leap from being a college student to being a professional, from being childless to being a parent, and from being single to being married. This is a time of waiting, of anticipation, and of excitement. It’s also a time of preparation and growth. Or, at least it should be.

For many singles, “the meantime” leading up to marriage is difficult. The waiting can get old and can wear on you, which is why it’s important to be on guard for the behaviors and attitudes that come from getting impatient and from acting out impulsively. Consider these five behaviors to avoid while waiting to marry and determine how well you are doing in “the meantime.”

1. Sleeping with another person’s spouse
The desire to be married or to be loved should never lead you into a married person’s bed. Not only do you contribute to breaking a marriage covenant, but also you set yourself up to be cheated on once you get married. Furthermore, your self-esteem plummets when you stoop that low just to feel close to someone. The married person may string you along and promise marriage to you at some point. But just know this, if he/she cheated the first time, there is a strong likelihood that cheating will occur again. Either way, you will reap what you sow.

2. Being jealous or envious of another person’s spouse or marriage
I’ve heard from single women who say, “I can be a better wife than she is.” “She doesn’t treat her husband like he’s supposed to be treated.” “I’m nicer/sexier/smarter than she is. Why can’t I find a man?” On the other hand, men might wonder, “How did he get that kind of woman?” “He’s not making the kind of money that I am making.” These types of comparisons don’t lead to the marriage of your dreams. They lead to competition, low self-esteem, and an envious attitude. When you secretly desire someone else’s marriage, you don’t have any room in your heart for God to bless you with your own marriage. Instead of making comparisons and being jealous, why not be happy for the couples you know and do your best to stay out of their business because no one knows what happens in a marriage behind closed doors.

3. Appearing desperate and lonely
I remember my parents teaching me that how you carry yourself matters. People will respond to you and respect you based off of what’s on the outside, first and what’s on the inside, second. Sure, things should be flipped, but the reality is that they aren’t. That’s why appearing desperate and lonely is not a good look for someone desiring a healthy, happy marriage. Grown, single women can appear desperate if they are always dressed provocatively or if they are constantly seeking attention from a man. A man might want you for a night if you appear easy, but I doubt if he will want you for a lifetime partner. Grown, single men can appear desperate, too. Every time you see them they might be trying to pick up a different women. They grope and grab women, use cheesy pick up lines, and wear too much cologne. They are just desperate and maybe even a little creepy. To attract a woman who will respect you as a man, you need to dress like a man and not like a teenage boy. You also can’t appear to be on the prowl. Appearances matter for men and for women.

4. Speaking negatively about the opposite sex and about relationships.
What comes out of your mouth matters. All men are not dogs, and all women are not gold diggers. All men will not cheat, and all women aren’t trying to trap you in a relationship by getting pregnant. If you speak negatively about the opposite sex, then you meet and date negative people. You also have to stop speaking negatively about love and relationships. If you have been betrayed in the past, that doesn’t mean you will be betrayed in the future. Statements like “I don’t trust anybody,” and “I’m not giving my heart away again” set you up for failure. You will never experience the blessing of marriage if you don’t trust or open your heart. So be careful how you speak about your future spouse and about marriage. Your tongue can block you from your blessing.

5. Attaching your happiness and identity to another person
If you don’t know who you are right now and if you aren’t happy in your single status now, things will not change once you jump the broom. Another person can’t make you happy, even if he/she is your spouse. It’s sad to see one person in the marriage be totally consumed by the other to the point that he/she doesn’t know who they are. Just because you come together as one in marriage doesn’t mean you don’t have individual personalities or interests in life. The union of marriage helps both spouses grow into who they are individually while at the same time grow together as a couple. So, regardless of your marital status, be happy now, love who you are now, and walk in your purpose now.
If you are single and desire to be married, your day will come if it is God’s will for your life. What you do now, in the meantime, has a profound impact on what happens once you say “I do.” So, don’t block your marital blessing by getting impatient and opening yourself up to the wrong attitude or behaviors. Instead, focus on how you can experience the blessings of life now, which will make your marriage stronger and happier once it becomes a reality.

http://munaluchibridal.com/5-behaviors-to-avoid-while-waiting-to-marry/

35 Likes

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by emperorchedda(m): 2:25pm On Oct 07, 2013
Spot on!

1 Like

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by emilyone(f): 2:38pm On Oct 07, 2013
may God bless you poster!
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by shootsight(m): 3:13pm On Oct 07, 2013
Lomomike on point again. . . Mods front page please !
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Nobody: 3:16pm On Oct 07, 2013
emilyone: may God bless you poster!
amen! And may God bless you too. Thanks smiley

1 Like

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Fazhy: 3:59pm On Oct 07, 2013
Nice one.

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Ghadafy(m): 4:00pm On Oct 07, 2013
6. Sleeping around without a protection

1 Like

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Nobody: 4:02pm On Oct 07, 2013
First it was special message for single sisters, now it is behaviours to avoid while waiting to marry. Is one of the moderators having problems getting married? Abi why be say all these- 10 ways to get married dey make front page today?

7 Likes

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Abbeylincson(m): 4:03pm On Oct 07, 2013
Ok
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Andyblaze: 4:05pm On Oct 07, 2013
Avoid complaining about the high cost of bride priceundecided

3 Likes

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Nobody: 4:06pm On Oct 07, 2013
Am nt near d marriage age. So dis post is definitly nt 4 me. Bsides i knew al dese frm way bak
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by XwhY(m): 4:06pm On Oct 07, 2013
Good!
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by chineloSA(f): 4:07pm On Oct 07, 2013
I TIRE OOO

THESE ADVICE AND WHAT NOT FOR SINGLES, THEY ARE GETTING ,,,,,,HMMMMMMMM. CHIKENA
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Nwoka(m): 4:08pm On Oct 07, 2013
Good write up! This should be in saturday punch!
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Buddydogg(m): 4:08pm On Oct 07, 2013
yoooo yooo.
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Nobody: 4:08pm On Oct 07, 2013
Wow, nice post I do a lot of the tins mentioned. Tanks

1 Like

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Archmed(m): 4:09pm On Oct 07, 2013
rapsodeep: Am nt near d marriage age. So dis post is definitly nt 4 me. Bsides i knew al dese frm way bak
Then get da fu*k out of here!!!
Dont waste space,,for the ''1st to comment'' crew!!

2 Likes

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by abatajjvii: 4:09pm On Oct 07, 2013
good write up



keep it up mr poster


more wink
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by TVTKOKO(m): 4:10pm On Oct 07, 2013
[quote author=rapsodeep]Am nt near d marriage age. So dis post is definitly nt 4 me. Bsides i knew al dese frm way bak[Quote]abeg wu ask u
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by demelza: 4:12pm On Oct 07, 2013
Nashville: First it was special message for single sisters, now it is behaviours to avoid while waiting to marry. Is one of the moderators having problems getting married? Abi why be say all these- 10 ways to get married dey make front page today?
I think today has been declared Singles Day by the Emperor of Nairaland so the mods have to comply.

1 Like

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Nobody: 4:14pm On Oct 07, 2013
Nice article Op, but I'm 101% sure this stuff wouldn't favor peeps who've got cheating and flirting running in their DNA cheesy cheesy
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Okijajuju1(m): 4:17pm On Oct 07, 2013
lomomike: There is a stage of life called “the meantime.” This is when you are in transition from one particular season of life into another. For example, when you are making the leap from being a college student to being a professional, from being childless to being a parent, and from being single to being married. This is a time of waiting, of anticipation, and of excitement. It’s also a time of preparation and growth. Or, at least it should be.

For many singles, “the meantime” leading up to marriage is difficult. The waiting can get old and can wear on you, which is why it’s important to be on guard for the behaviors and attitudes that come from getting impatient and from acting out impulsively. Consider these five behaviors to avoid while waiting to marry and determine how well you are doing in “the meantime.”

1. Sleeping with another person’s spouse
The desire to be married or to be loved should never lead you into a married person’s bed. Not only do you contribute to breaking a marriage covenant, but also you set yourself up to be cheated on once you get married. Furthermore, your self-esteem plummets when you stoop that low just to feel close to someone. The married person may string you along and promise marriage to you at some point. But just know this, if he/she cheated the first time, there is a strong likelihood that cheating will occur again. Either way, you will reap what you sow.

2. Being jealous or envious of another person’s spouse or marriage
I’ve heard from single women who say, “I can be a better wife than she is.” “She doesn’t treat her husband like he’s supposed to be treated.” “I’m nicer/sexier/smarter than she is. Why can’t I find a man?” On the other hand, men might wonder, “How did he get that kind of woman?” “He’s not making the kind of money that I am making.” These types of comparisons don’t lead to the marriage of your dreams. They lead to competition, low self-esteem, and an envious attitude. When you secretly desire someone else’s marriage, you don’t have any room in your heart for God to bless you with your own marriage. Instead of making comparisons and being jealous, why not be happy for the couples you know and do your best to stay out of their business because no one knows what happens in a marriage behind closed doors.

3. Appearing desperate and lonely
I remember my parents teaching me that how you carry yourself matters. People will respond to you and respect you based off of what’s on the outside, first and what’s on the inside, second. Sure, things should be flipped, but the reality is that they aren’t. That’s why appearing desperate and lonely is not a good look for someone desiring a healthy, happy marriage. Grown, single women can appear desperate if they are always dressed provocatively or if they are constantly seeking attention from a man. A man might want you for a night if you appear easy, but I doubt if he will want you for a lifetime partner. Grown, single men can appear desperate, too. Every time you see them they might be trying to pick up a different women. They grope and grab women, use cheesy pick up lines, and wear too much cologne. They are just desperate and maybe even a little creepy. To attract a woman who will respect you as a man, you need to dress like a man and not like a teenage boy. You also can’t appear to be on the prowl. Appearances matter for men and for women.

4. Speaking negatively about the opposite sex and about relationships.
What comes out of your mouth matters. All men are not dogs, and all women are not gold diggers. All men will not cheat, and all women aren’t trying to trap you in a relationship by getting pregnant. If you speak negatively about the opposite sex, then you meet and date negative people. You also have to stop speaking negatively about love and relationships. If you have been betrayed in the past, that doesn’t mean you will be betrayed in the future. Statements like “I don’t trust anybody,” and “I’m not giving my heart away again” set you up for failure. You will never experience the blessing of marriage if you don’t trust or open your heart. So be careful how you speak about your future spouse and about marriage. Your tongue can block you from your blessing.

5. Attaching your happiness and identity to another person
If you don’t know who you are right now and if you aren’t happy in your single status now, things will not change once you jump the broom. Another person can’t make you happy, even if he/she is your spouse. It’s sad to see one person in the marriage be totally consumed by the other to the point that he/she doesn’t know who they are. Just because you come together as one in marriage doesn’t mean you don’t have individual personalities or interests in life. The union of marriage helps both spouses grow into who they are individually while at the same time grow together as a couple. So, regardless of your marital status, be happy now, love who you are now, and walk in your purpose now.
If you are single and desire to be married, your day will come if it is God’s will for your life. What you do now, in the meantime, has a profound impact on what happens once you say “I do.” So, don’t block your marital blessing by getting impatient and opening yourself up to the wrong attitude or behaviors. Instead, focus on how you can experience the blessings of life now, which will make your marriage stronger and happier once it becomes a reality.

http://munaluchibridal.com/5-behaviors-to-avoid-while-waiting-to-marry/


With the amount of 'Singles Thread' making the front page lately.....





I think Seun is about to get married o!! grin

2 Likes

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by ibiali(m): 4:18pm On Oct 07, 2013
nice write up...gbam! cheesy
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Odunharry(m): 4:24pm On Oct 07, 2013
Andyblaze: Avoid complaining about the high cost of bride priceundecided
lolz...parent shud try also to reduce the cost of bride price..
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by mysticgal(f): 4:24pm On Oct 07, 2013
ok undecided
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Odunharry(m): 4:25pm On Oct 07, 2013
rapsodeep: Am nt near d marriage age. So dis post is definitly nt 4 me. Bsides i knew al dese frm way bak
then go continue ur sleep

1 Like

Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by kelahns: 4:25pm On Oct 07, 2013
This makes lotta sense,considering the fact that am getting married soon,all the points were spot on.
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by Odunharry(m): 4:26pm On Oct 07, 2013
Okija_juju:


With the amount of 'Singles Thread' making the front page lately.....





I think Seun is about to get married o!! grin
u neva hear?so d gods didnt tell u?
Re: Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry by smartg(m): 4:38pm On Oct 07, 2013
Andyblaze: Avoid complaining about the high cost of bride priceundecided
Reduce your bride price so you can get Married on time.

1 Like

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