| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Nobody: 6:53pm On Jan 24, 2019 |
ikuoma4rea:
My wife just developed an attitude that is quite disturbing.just because l get her involved in any project in the house by contributing her own share because she works so that we can get something better for the family.Anytime time l control her she says stuffs like after all my money was involved.but her income is more than mine but l ensure that the rent and running of the house is been handled by me except for the cooking that sometimes l just give her what l have to add to what she has.l could not watch a program just because she was watching a program and when l insisted she disconnected the television set and left with the cord to her room after all l joined my own money in purchasing the television set.she is always against me going to club and hanging out with friends,did that last nite and when l got home she refused to open the door and l had to put a call to the mum before she opened the door at 4am.she is working and earns more than l do but can't l have peace in my own house without her throwing tantrums on me even without been worried about our neighbors.what do l do to have my freedom and respect back because l don't get any respect from her anymore.little things she tells the mum and she calls to start advising me which l find uncomfortable .confused right now.we have 2 kids now.need good advice. Teach her a lesson, just leave and go to live on your own or at your mom place, stop paying anything on the house you were paying, she says she makes more money, let her pay for all her living and watch. I am sure when she has no any support from you, she will realize your contribution as a man paying for all family living, is big and she needs you. If she is happy and so rich to live with her kids alone, leave her alone. She won't change |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Speedyconnect15: 7:27pm On Jan 24, 2019 |
sunnydayasaba:
Lol....OP, why r u even making reference to ur wife pay to run the home? U will loose ur domestic credibility if u keep looking at ur wife salary for any reason. I think ur attitude towards ur wife is bcus u knw she earns more than u and u simply feel she robs it on ur face, i want u to first have a rethink on that, dnt let all the little misunderstanding in ur home make u feel is bcus of her high pay, with that am sure u will bother less abt her mistakes. Meanwhile, even with ur little income u can still take care of ur family without making reference or asking ur wife to contribute to ur home, Jst try and do that henceforth, am sure u will earn ur respect, Try and give her wat u think u can afford for food for the month and see her change. Money is never enough for women, so they always want to get something frm their husband no matter how small. So what does the wife do with her own money? Forget this communication rubbish. 90 percent of marriages where the woman earns higher ends in divorce. This is from statistics. Again, no woman likes spending her money no matter her earnings. Is it not same women that will lend school fees to their husband and collect it later. |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Contumely: 7:33pm On Jan 24, 2019 |
Amhappy:
@ OP it looks like ur papa no tell you this, In African culture,it is the responsibility of the man to provide for his family. Stop asking your wife for her money if you want your respect. When was the last time you gave her money for her braids or are you the afterall she makes money type. Give her money for food,stop letting her pay for it. Let her contribute willingly if she wants but dont force her. If you continue like this you will also lose your children respect. Idiotic feminists. Claiming equality with men in everything but bills. |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Contumely: 7:38pm On Jan 24, 2019 |
jpphilips:
@OP
it is sickening when grown men choose to ignore the reality the way it is, i will be as blunt as possible.
first, there is no social agreement where it is written that a woman is under a man, i am aware, that the bible spoke of women being submissive to their husbands but that is for Christians, and it doesn't go across board.
just like every biblical directive, followers have a choice to comply or not, little wonder our reality doesn't make room for that.
if you knew that much, then we proceed to the family setting being the union of a man and a woman and prolly with children, it is imperative that a leadership position is assigned, because a boat cannot sail in two directions at the same time.By default, men seem to be the ones assuming that leadership position but it doesn't mean that the woman cannot, so what actually determines who leads a home? 'leverage" or "bargaining chip", who ever has it leads the home. This leverage is a combination of "finance" and "wisdom".
what i see from your post is that at some point in the union you lost your "leverage'' but fail to accept the harsh reality that you are no longer the "leader" or "head" of that union, that position is dangerous as such you need to take a deep breath. i have no doubt that a lot of people misconstrued the terminology you used to qualify "leadership" where you erroneously used "control" little wonder you were berated in previous posts.
Bros, i will urge you for the sake of peace to embrace the reality as fast as possible, your position may be justified if you were once financially better than her and things turn around for worse, in that case, it can be viewed through the glass of oppression and ingratitude which of course by all means, i will implore you to garner all the weapons in your arsenal to put her back in her place, conversely, if it is a case where she has always been richer than you from abinitio, then shut the fvck up and get to work.
i see a lot of men like you who cringe on these advanced girls for financial emancipation with out weighing the cardinal points of what the reality brings. the reality is that in that union, you are just a ceremonial "head" but that position will never be yours except when you get back your "leverage".
in your case, you descended to ask her to contribute for a mere TV set, that is bereft of wisdom, even if you are a broke ar.s.e., there are CRT TV's 21" of 20 to 25k, i believe you can afford, at the same time holding on to your leverage but in your case, you may have coerced her into paying for an LED and you expect her not to call the shots?
you truly under estimate Nigerian women. like i have said before, the moment a Nigerian woman starts feeding you, believe me, you are finished.
My advise to you;
never you take the reality of life for granted however unpleasant.
The leverage of leadership lies with your wife as it is in your home today as such, you should accord her due respect, regard and seek for direction when in doubt until your situation improves.
You do not have the luxury of clubbing, smoking, drinking and receiving lap dance from club hussies except with the consent of your wife.
on no account should you question the authority of your wife or report her to any third party, reason is; it will not change the fact that you are emasculated neither will it change the fact that she paid the rent as such has every right to lock you out, also, the third party invitation can as well be viewed as provocative, believe me, you don't want to incur the wrath of 'Madam', it may have consequences.
If she grants you the privilege of sex, be thankful and do your best to satisfy her beyond measure, never you think you are doing her a favor with your "man of the house" delusion, it may have consequences. if she asks you to help with laundry of whichever kind, by all means serve with honor till your situation improves.
Don't you ever think of cheating on her because if she finds out, i can assure you that you have signed out from her honey pot forever and just registered her boss or someone with a higher social power to take her to the next financial height which may impede your chances of recovery in the face of more bitter experience.
lastly, don't ever contemplate suicide because if you do, exactly one year past your memorial service (if she manages to give you one), a younger and fresher man like you will be occupying the same position you occupied in her bed, and you cant imagine how quick the kids will switch the "daddy" position to the new man, especially when he pays the bill, "in full" this time.
There is no problem marrying a wealthier woman, the problem is not accepting the fact that the onus of leadership lies with her, that is the mistake a lot of young men make these days and the girls have not failed to instill the harsh reality into them.
do you wonder where the husbands of ladies like rakyya, abike, iweala, and akunyili are? why don't we see them together in public functions?
i wish you luck in your quest for financial liberation.
Having seex with the wife is now a privilege? Merely because the useless thing earns more than the husband? |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Contumely: 7:41pm On Jan 24, 2019 |
StateOfMind:
The highlighted explains Op's problem. Dude is just insecure and trying to frustrate his wife, and he ends up being the frustrated one.
Until men like OP learn to free their minds and stop feeling unnecesarily insecure the moment their wives start earning more than they do, this whining will not stop.
Btw, hug your wife for me Op, tell her I said her head dey there. I like women who know how to handle irresponsible cheats like you, who wouldn't allow you walk over them..
Go and work on yourself. A woman had the audacity to lock the husband outside because the husband was insecure? She took tv cord too because the husband was insecure? She complains about contributing to buy things because husband was insecure? Oponu radarada. |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Theyoungmatron: 7:52pm On Jan 24, 2019 |
2 Likes |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Contumely: 7:55pm On Jan 24, 2019 |
Fear women |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by piroux(f): 9:57pm On Jan 24, 2019 |
Angela777:
Teach her a lesson, just leave and go to live on your own or at your mom place, stop paying anything on the house you were paying, she says she makes more money, let her pay for all her living and watch. I am sure when she has no any support from you, she will realize your contribution as a man paying for all family living, is big and she needs you. If she is happy and so rich to live with her kids alone, leave her alone. She won't change Did you read everything? Especially the part where he was cheating and she was worried about him infecting her? The way you people leap to conclusions ehn? Na wa! 2 Likes |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Nobody: 10:04pm On Jan 24, 2019 |
piroux:
Did you read everything? Especially the part where he was cheating and she was worried about him infecting her? The way you people leap to conclusions ehn? Na wa! Sorry, I really didn't see this part. Then if he is a cheater, it's to her to give him a lesson and to kick him out of her life. 1 Like |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by ZIMDRILL(m): 4:56am On Jan 25, 2019 |
ikuoma4rea:
My wife just developed an attitude that is quite disturbing.just because l get her involved in any project in the house by contributing her own share because she works so that we can get something better for the family.Anytime time l control her she says stuffs like after all my money was involved.but her income is more than mine but l ensure that the rent and running of the house is been handled by me except for the cooking that sometimes l just give her what l have to add to what she has.l could not watch a program just because she was watching a program and when l insisted she disconnected the television set and left with the cord to her room after all l joined my own money in purchasing the television set.she is always against me going to club and hanging out with friends,did that last nite and when l got home she refused to open the door and l had to put a call to the mum before she opened the door at 4am.she is working and earns more than l do but can't l have peace in my own house without her throwing tantrums on me even without been worried about our neighbors.what do l do to have my freedom and respect back because l don't get any respect from her anymore.little things she tells the mum and she calls to start advising me which l find uncomfortable .confused right now.we have 2 kids now.need good advice. africas sometimes we are poor by choice, lack of knowledge, understanding and learning finance let me break it down for you 1 we think withholding how much you earn is how to keep wife under control/ it shows who is the boss 2 when the wife does the same you cry foul, i cant control her 3 as africans few have master the power of being two, we love being worshipped as the sole provider, we want to see kneel while she serves us food your problem is you start by saying my money and her money being married is managing the resources you bring on table, there is nomore my but our when i said we are poor by choice this what i meant both of you are working through is earning higher than you, your budget are run from individual pockets than putting the grand total of your monies on table, work out your monthly budget and save the remain either for kids future or retirement. since both of your are running the family expenses sort of individually the chances of not saving as family are slim therefore your wealth is not a combined force it has no value this how it works in the west thats why sometimes we think white people are rich but not always but the system makes them work together as couple to achieve things as combined force ie wife and husband salaries are managed as one income, they can apply a mortgage or loan to buy a house, their are on the same page on what to achieve and calculation of payments is done the total income of the house there is nothing like his money or my money its our money. in simple text someone paying back a loan of 5000 a month on a salary of 30000 month will feel the 5000 loan pay back but if its a couple of total earning of 50000 a month and paying back that same 5000 a month loan they wont cry much africans we have never understood finance to work as a team husband and wife its all about being individual, wanting to control how can you plan a future when you dont know how much one earns its an complete equatition only an animal is controlled becoz it doesnt speak we use sticks ropes to control animals your wife is not an animal that needs contolling, you talk and try to understand each other, understanding each other doesnt mean her agreeing with you all the or you agreeing all the time but understanding to agree and disagree agreeing to disagree is also a tool that makes couple or people understand each other, the moment your agree to disagree you then try to find a better way to approach or solve whatever issue is at hand. controlling is making someone behave and think the way you like or do therefore making one like a robot, through mistakes, correction we learn to understand each always remember you grow up as individuals, your upbringing were totally different even if your are from the same culture, village, clan, tribe etc each and every family is different and we are all individuals in character 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by blessedaunty: 9:59am On Jan 25, 2019 |
Op, you are the cause of your problem, what is a married man doing outside by 4am. How would you feel, if it were to be your wife that is outside by that time, everynody deserves some respect. You cant be asking her for monetary contributions in the house and still be treating her like your house girl. lf you want to treat as such, make sure she does not contribute any money in the house. Respect is reciprocal. 2 Likes |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Femsyn(m): 10:20am On Jan 25, 2019 |
I will keep saying this. What you give is what you get!!!
What do I think, based on your writeup and tone of language?
1. I think she feels you're irresponsible, who flutters away the little income he makes.
2. I think she feels you're putting too much pressure on her, without appreciation.
3. I think you are immature!
4. Today's women are not ignorant anymore; You have to up your game.
5. When you start contributing money to buy a TV (which i'm sure its not high-end), then you know something is wrong with you. 1 Like |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by ecstasy357(m): 11:04am On Jan 25, 2019 |
ikuoma4rea:
My wife just developed an attitude that is quite disturbing.just because l get her involved in any project in the house by contributing her own share because she works so that we can get something better for the family.Anytime time l control her she says stuffs like after all my money was involved.but her income is more than mine but l ensure that the rent and running of the house is been handled by me except for the cooking that sometimes l just give her what l have to add to what she has.l could not watch a program just because she was watching a program and when l insisted she disconnected the television set and left with the cord to her room after all l joined my own money in purchasing the television set.she is always against me going to club and hanging out with friends,did that last nite and when l got home she refused to open the door and l had to put a call to the mum before she opened the door at 4am.she is working and earns more than l do but can't l have peace in my own house without her throwing tantrums on me even without been worried about our neighbors.what do l do to have my freedom and respect back because l don't get any respect from her anymore.little things she tells the mum and she calls to start advising me which l find uncomfortable .confused right now.we have 2 kids now.need good advice. Wetin married man dey go do for club  Bros, work on ya self first before u bash d woman |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Lumpyy(f): 4:42pm On Jan 25, 2019 |
DarqChild:
My guy you will die before your time in the hands of a woman like that if you continue to live with her. Forget the fact that you have two children with her. You should first off stop telling about her your financial state. (the lion is the king of the jungle and actually has many females as wives yet he doesn't hunt for game. The women do.)  When a woman knows exactly how much you earn then my brother you are in hot soup and secondly, you'd better kick her out of your life or else you'll lose your dignity as a man and your "pants" will literally be stripped off you. If you are not man enough to shackle her and bring her to order then let her off before you actually become shackled and lose your life. Adios. Well done sir  ,awon eyan jungle king!!! 1 Like |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Nobody: 6:07pm On Jan 25, 2019 |
marriage is such a liability, this is why I don't want to get married, the thought of marriage alone irritates me. |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by eyinjuege: 6:43pm On Jan 25, 2019 |
You need to grow up. You're no longer a single guy but a father of 2 young children. I'm surprised you think its alright for you to leave your family at home and go clubbing.
Do you think your wife too doesn't like the night life? You that you're still managing to provide in the home, you want to use the little you have to go and club.
Odiegwu...
I wont be surprised she locked you out because you went drinking as usual, perhaps with one opeke by your side whom you bought peppersoup for
She feels she has entered one chance and is lashing out 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by Nobody: 8:03pm On Jan 25, 2019 |
eyinjuege:
You need to grow up. You're no longer a single guy but a father of 2 young children. I'm surprised you think its alright for you to leave your family at home and go clubbing.
Do you think your wife too doesn't like the night life? You that you're still managing to provide in the home, you want to use the little you have to go and club.
Odiegwu...
I wont be surprised she locked you out because you went drinking as usual, perhaps with one opeke by your side whom you bought peppersoup for
She feels she has entered one chance and is lashing out 2013 I believe they’ve settled their differences by now I love the part she locked him out maybe they should visit the club together next time. |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by eyinjuege: 8:52pm On Jan 25, 2019 |
PRESENTATION:
2013
I believe they’ve settled their differences by now
I love the part she locked him out maybe they should visit the club together next time. Honestly, I didnt notice on time the date was 2013. Some people dey para up there  . Most marital problems occur because partners want to dish out what they can't personally take 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by oyoolima: 9:03pm On Jan 25, 2019 |
Hmm 1 Like |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by ogawisdom(m): 6:44am On Jan 26, 2019 |
Op u no try at all how can you be comfortable asking your wife to contribute money to buy led TV haba what kinda of man does that? Yes a working woman should contribute to home expense like kitchen stuff and food, but things like rent, school fees, car maintenance, buying home furniture n electronics etc should be done by the man. If u are broke u borrow from your woman stop forcing her to contribute but if God blessed u with an angel (almost impossible to see) that wants to contribute in everything then fine but never allow a woman pay your rent or even contribute to it 1 Like |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by jpphilips(m): 8:10am On Jan 27, 2019 |
Contumely:
Having seex with the wife is now a privilege? Merely because the useless thing earns more than the husband?
Is that one a husband? Smell coffee bros! |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by RSVP: 8:50am On Jan 27, 2019 |
No doubt your wife is full of pride but you yourself is not saint in this setting my brother.
I never marry tho but I clearly understand what it mean to be disrespected... u need to adjust ursef and start to dey reason like a responsible man. I mean.. how u go just left 2 kids plus ur wife at home den follow friends go club?? azzin Nobi bar oooo .. CLUB?? Not that u went on a business trip or something that would add value to ur family life. ah shame dey catch me for u sir. |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by AFONAMARO: 9:23am On Jan 27, 2019 |
ikuoma4rea:
My wife just developed an attitude that is quite disturbing.just because l get her involved in any project in the house by contributing her own share because she works so that we can get something better for the family.Anytime time l control her she says stuffs like after all my money was involved.but her income is more than mine but l ensure that the rent and running of the house is been handled by me except for the cooking that sometimes l just give her what l have to add to what she has.l could not watch a program just because she was watching a program and when l insisted she disconnected the television set and left with the cord to her room after all l joined my own money in purchasing the television set.she is always against me going to club and hanging out with friends,did that last nite and when l got home she refused to open the door and l had to put a call to the mum before she opened the door at 4am.she is working and earns more than l do but can't l have peace in my own house without her throwing tantrums on me even without been worried about our neighbors.what do l do to have my freedom and respect back because l don't get any respect from her anymore.little things she tells the mum and she calls to start advising me which l find uncomfortable .confused right now.we have 2 kids now.need good advice. The bolded. Must you control her? I don't get why men feel women are inferior and less of a human that requires a man controlling them like a Dstv remote. Treat your wife with courtesy, mutual respect and love. She is your copilot and not your subordinate you would want to order about |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by ogawisdom(m): 11:24am On Jan 27, 2019 |
AFONAMARO:
The bolded. Must you control her? I don't get why men feel women are inferior and less of a human that requires a man controlling them like a Dstv remote.
Treat your wife with courtesy, mutual respect and love. She is your copilot and not your subordinate you would want to order about Biblically a wife is a subordinate to her husband. She is meant to submit to him in an ideal situation. Love and submission defines goldly marriage n standard, man loves woman submit. |
| Re: Pls Advise.my Wife Is Making Me Sick. by AFONAMARO: 3:40pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
ogawisdom:
Biblically a wife is a subordinate to her husband. She is meant to submit to him in an ideal situation. Love and submission defines goldly marriage n standard, man loves woman submit. I understand today is Sunday and you might be speaking from today's sermon. But read my post again pastor quotation. I said, women are to be treated with courtesy and not ordering them like some subordinate at work place |
