depressionkills:
I even think that it started way before slavery though slavery and colonisation may have played in a role in this.
Phder was talking with someone on another thread about bullying and people were actually supporting the other guy who was advocating for bullying in boarding schools, I was gobsmacked.
Most African have this archaic way of thinking that is holding us back: Violence is a cycle.
We are already victims of violence ourselves yet keep on inflicting it on others ( especially the most vulnerable such as children, women, mentally ill people etc) How can we stand up to our oppression if we dont see oppression or violence itself as something problematic??

bettermike: #I SHALL NOT BE BROKEN# Me? Sit and judge others? Did you miss the part where i tried to help someone to quit a habit? Oh common, when did it become wrong to be blunt? Infact, all i've been doing here so far is trying to help. Anything wrong with choosing not to remember what makes me feel sad? And please, stop making it seem like am trying to justify violence here. All am saying is, so long as humans think differently, cruelty will remain. EVEN ATTEMPTING TO FEMENIZE THE EARTH WONT STOP WARS FROM HAPPENING. Last i checked, some of you females use males as violent tools. So, we're all involved here. I think i might be heading to bed soon.

Phder:
I had to let go on the aforementioned thread, seems Africans derive pleasure in pain. Very sad. A guy was even telling me how his dad laughed when he saw him being bullied!!!

depressionkills:
Yeah I saw that like WTF??
I remember reading a thread about how white kids were weak for committing suicide because of bullying
Many dont realise how it affects people. Also suicide is o taboo that I know that some parents would rather lie and say that their children died of an illness rather than admit they were depressed and committed suicide. Suicide is really under-reported, like HIV and rape, well anything 'that brings shame to the family'
Many cope with bullying by becoming bullies themselves. It is the case of most Africans I know, sad
BTW how old are you ? Are you graduating soon??

depressionkills:
Let me tell you dear, you can only numb your feeling for so long. One day it will catch up with you.
You are not learning to be strong, you are RUNNING FROM IT. Read the quote below please.
When you numb your demons, they pop up under another form. I told you earlier that your anger may be the cause of unresolved emotional issues right/ That is what I was talking about.
You cant cure an injury by suffocating. For it to scar you must heal it in the open. that doesnt mean dwelling unnecessarily on your pain, but rather having the gut to face it. It may take days, it may take years.
Btw this is why i think so many of us Africans are so angry and violent all the time.
Violence is just a way of coping for many and they confuse it with strength
STRENGTH IS WISE, CALM AND CONFIDENT. Violence is not!!!
You are free to open up. Once again, I wont attack or mock you. I am not like that.

Phder:

Yes, I remember the thread you're referring to about white kids committing suicide, it's about a middle school girl that was bullied on Facebook by her school mates. Suicide is under-reported in Africa generally, the clandestine nature of citizens is not helping either.

In my late teen, would be graduate by 2015.

HumbledbYGrace: Can someone clarify this^ ^ ^ ^

bettermike: "
You cant cure an injury by suffocating. For it to scar you must heal it in the open. that doesnt mean dwelling unnecessarily on your pain, but rather having the gut to face it." Depressionkills, will you take this advice to bed for me? Read this quote of yours above and apply the words to yourself. I guarantee you, you will notice massive improvements starting tonight. And to suprise you, am absolutely not a violent being. I have only learned to understand that it exists. I fend it off if i can, or i avoid it if i have to. I HONESTLY WISH THE WORLD WAS BETTER. By the way, are you saying westernization=non-violence? Have you quickly forgotten Hiroshima? Do you even watch the violence displayed in the western sports daily (soccer, boxing etc)? Believe it or not, living in denial is believing that violence isnt real. I WONT BE PARTY TO VIOLENCE THOUGH. And lastly before bed, i appreciate the fact that you want to listen. Infact, i wanna talk. This is just not the right time or place. Atleast not today. Not now. Goodnite.

bettermike: "
You cant cure an injury by suffocating. For it to scar you must heal it in the open. that doesnt mean dwelling unnecessarily on your pain, but rather having the gut to face it." Depressionkills, will you take this advice to bed for me? Read this quote of yours above and apply the words to yourself. I guarantee you, you will notice massive improvements starting tonight. And to suprise you, am absolutely not a violent being. I have only learned to understand that it exists. I fend it off if i can, or i avoid it if i have to. I HONESTLY WISH THE WORLD WAS BETTER. By the way, are you saying westernization=non-violence? Have you quickly forgotten Hiroshima? Do you even watch the violence displayed in the western sports daily (soccer, boxing etc)? Believe it or not, living in denial is believing that violence isnt real. I WONT BE PARTY TO VIOLENCE THOUGH. And lastly before bed, i appreciate the fact that you want to listen. But not today. Not on this thread. Goodnite.

bettermike: You know what? You're begining to send the impression that you're jus asking to be pampered. Thats all. Like i said, some of you are just excited to have a disease attached to your medical record. Pity.

Big.game:
This is one of the reason why i like keeping to myself, why i don't like talking about how and what i feel to people, they'd think you are some sort of irrelevant cry baby.

depressionkills:
Dont worry not everybody is like that. well I try my best not to be.
This is why I always tell people, YOUR PAIN IS VALID!!
you can cry, scream, whip, break, it is your right! i used to struggle so much with what people thought of me, now i just tell myself insensitive people are just afraid of facing their pain that is why they are so uncomfortable and dismissive

depressionkills:

I already know this. But I also suffer from anxiety which fuels my depression. Anxiety causes intrusive thoughts and worry a bit like OCD. I am learning to cope with those thoughts as much as I can.
Non-violence has nothing to do with westernization, unlike what many think. I gave you MLK and Mandela as examples. Though MLK was American, he stood against the west's racism. You are confusing many things here. I could as well have quoted Ghandi and many non-westerners who fought against the west.
Westerners have not invented peace. OK goodnite, talk to you later

Big.game:
This is one of the reason why i like keeping to myself, why i don't like talking about how and what i feel to people, they'd think you are some sort of irrelevant cry baby.

bettermike: I understand. I have been there before. Honestly it was hard getting past that phase. Actually, i never thought i would. But then, i tried breath techniques and constantly repeating to myself that everything would be fine. Voila! It takes just a decision from within and you'l experience a live miracle. Believe me. Hey, you okay?

bettermike: Ok let me put this out. It is very okay to feel down when things aint going your way. Infact, i'd recommend you get yourself a couple of sad albums (asa for example). But then, after a couple of days, you SNAP OUT! Snap out of the sadness, fling the frustration far behind and make a new decision to smile again. It is well.

depressionkills:

you cant snap out of it. That's the point because those emotion fluctuations are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Meditation can help, focusing on the moment can help too but snapping out of it is hard.

I think that you have suffered from a less severe case of depression. Not to put your experience down, because I would never do that but there a many type of depression, triggered by different factors and of different intensity.

Before 2011, my depression was quite mild and I could cope. I was working and studying at the same time. Then everything just completely deteriorated from then onwards, I couldnt even leave my bed.

depressionkills:

I am doing as much I can today was a hard day emotionally but I think that what you can do not many of us can. I mean, I happy that you manage to do it so easily but most of us cant.
My other problems like may here too is that we have to face the harsh and cruel words of those closest to us, i.e. our nuclear family and it is harder to believe in yourself when people who should be on your side put you down. You seem to have a very strong and healthy support system, most of us only suffer in the dark.
My parents, like I have said, are sooooooo ashamed of my depression that when I think about it, I feel like a huge embarrassment and suicidal thoughts just creep in. It is a constant battle. Also what you describe sound like mindfulness breathing exercise, my therapist talked to me about it and it is very effective sometimes but other time, my turmoil is so over powering that I just cant.

Tbken: This thread have being turned to something else
@Depressionkillz is a nice girl and she has started to enjoy herself here gud for her.
@bettermike is the arnold schwatznegger,he hitz the hammer real hard,he is harderned and he is the real nigguh,he has some truths in his posts....
@phder sees things from anada angle,he just love pet posts buh mike just didnt give that...he is the soft type of guy..may be he also love and need public sympathy or pity...he is also good in insulting biting people that trys to make him feel his ALMIGHTY pain is NOTHIN

Phder:

The bold part is the message I was trying to pass across to betterMike before he attacked my personality (not that it matters anymore though). It's good to have different opinion about an issue, it's the only way to keep life interesting.



Your judgement about me is not completely right.

1. I hate sympathy, it makes me feel inferior sometimes, it makes me look like a loser. Check my previous post, I specifically made the suggestion that this thread should not be turned into a pity party.

2. I also don't like insulting people, am sorry if that's what you think, but that's not me. I tried ignoring bettermike's post when he made the whole thing personal, but he forced me, even after I told him "as painful as this is, am ignoring it" So he threw the first stone. Agreed, I might be over "defensive" of myself, that's because I've worked really hard to stay happy all the time, I wouldn't want anybody to change that with his/her negative comment, so when people attack me (like bettermike did, when he called me a "dullard" the only way of getting my mind off the insult is to lash back at them. I know it's wrong and am hoping to change oneday.

3. Am a soft guy? Yeah. Probably too soft.

Good morning guys.

Tbken: Ok guys @phder its all good i understand you @bettermike its ok @phder have learnt that the word ''nonsense'' can be insultive so he wudnt use it again on your post or another...
lets stop arguing about rights and wrong and concentrate on positively keeping the thread alive by posting what it was mearnt for...please where is @onila and @depressionkillz? The thread needs u

bettermike: -sighs- I get your perspective. I also agree to the saying: what i can do, not so many of us can. Well, should i say i was sortof lucky? Perhaps. And believe me when i say you've not had it half as tough as i had in the past. The same support system that pulled me up recently was the same one that just didnt care in the past. It was like no one from family realy cared about me. Honestly, it brought pain so severe attimes. Yes, i was lucky. Why, i wasnt raised to be soft. I was raised to be emotionally self-reliant. I wasnt realy pampered during my child days (even though i had almost all i wanted). So, it was kinda easy to withstand the pain alone. Lucky because while i moped just outside my place, a neighbour/friend would sit with me. Cheer me up and we'll drive out for a drink. That helped a bit. Lucky because as time went on, family began to see things my way, support started pouring in again. Its a long story. Plus, i have an issue with pouring my life out here.

bettermike: What happend today? Emm...no need to answer that question. Gosh! Family talking one down regularly isnt something i might have been able to withstand. However, here are the big questions: Would you like to be depressed nomore? Like i said, it takes a decision. And yes, i heard you clearly (depression is not choosable). Agreed. FREEDOM however is choosable. My position remains the same. It will be tough filling a cup that's already full. If you're looking forward to a happier more fulfiling life, i dare you to make that decision to stop being depressed now and you'll be amazed! Are you ready to get up from that bed now? *extends a hand*

Tbken: Ok guys @phder its all good i understand you @bettermike its ok @phder have learnt that the word ''nonsense'' can be insultive so he wudnt use it again on your post or another...
lets stop arguing about rights and wrong and concentrate on positively keeping the thread alive by posting what it was mearnt for...please where is @onila and @depressionkillz? The thread needs u