depressionkills:

Dude count your blessing. A supporting family is wealth, I tell you. I wont say that my parenst are not totally supportive since they do give me money but they, my mother especially always reminds me that it comes with a price. This is also something that brings me down, teh fact that I depend financially on others people is sooooo shameful, especially at my age, I hoped better things for myslef. I feel as if I have totally failed.

The road to recovery is not that easy . I do want to be free but I know that fr one step forward, I will take two step backwards and it is hard and demanding emotionally and physically and I must admit that sometimes I just want to give up.

bettermike: Sad. But if i may ask, what's next? What do you wanna do next?

bettermike: @Depressionkills. Dont give up. Ok? What you need is someone to guide you through the recovery process. You need to be constantly reminded that you're not alone. That everything will be fine. What about friends. You havnt mentioned any yet.

depressionkills:

Thanks \(^_^)/ *HUG*
Well I have no friend I used to have few but because of my depression and my fear of outside, I started isolating myself, not returning phone calls and that. It si not because I ma rude and dont care about others it is simply that sometimes I just want to shut down. I dont know if you can understand. I just want to curl up on myself and protect myself from the world. Well many of my relatives mistake that for rudeness. Especially my family is very keen on traditions and respect of the elders and stuff. When I dont call my aunts, they would think that I am disrespecting thme and start badmouthing me. I tried to explain, But the all think that i am a spoilt brat rude brat anyways so.

Also my parents are VERY VERY CONTROLLING. That is why I wanted to be independent from them. They actually like to have me on a tight leash so I can do whatever they want. They still speak to me as if I was 5.
I wanted to study design since I was a kid THEY FORCED TO STUDY BUSINESS MANAGEMENT AND FIANCE because they were the ones paying for it. Now I am stuck and have no motivation to finish. They woudl like me to have high paying jobs like bankers but I dont want taht kind of life, hell no!!

I dont knwo if you have read the thread about banker's life, that kind of life would just kill me
https://www.nairaland.com/1503583/ex-bankers-how-life-outside-banking

bettermike: *HUGS BACK* I understand. Now listen to me. I SEE YOUR FEARS. Its tough when no one truely listens and those that do, do it because its their job. Emm...as you can see, we've taken one HUGE step forward right now. You're expressing yourself and thats a BRAVE feat. Believe me, in no time, you'll be the up and running again with all the motivation at your disposal. Now, JUST ONE MORE STEP FORWARD. K? EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE Again. I'll be back in about 3hrs.

depressionkills:
k

depressionkills:
I hope to graduate this year.
Then try and perfect my art. I have a lots of dreams but i am often embarrassed to share them especially with many Africans who only value money
I would like to learn eco design and stuff like that . I am already learning permaculture. I have a passion for ecology and architecture and design. My hope is to bring social justice and ecology to Africa. My parents just laugh it off and tell me that they have wasted their money on my education for me to chose a career like that

But yeah, I firmly believe that Africa is the future and I want to be part of the movement

Mckayzee: See?!!! I knew better mike would steal the show atlast, everything the dude's been saying is just on point,he clearly has my stance on this whole ish,standing up and facing it head on instead of shying away and seeking sympathy is just the IN thing.... Trust me, @depressionkills and co, y'all would be fine if you could follow what bettermike's got to say in the long run...

Ps
I have a girl that's suffering from this same issue and was diagnosed for manic depression by a doctor(don.t know if the doctor's quack though) cos i googled it and stumbled on a site where you'd be asked questions and you'd get result that would show if you're merely suffering from normal depression or from bipolar(manic) depression, told her to answer the questions, and the result said she's suffering from mere everyday depression...anyways, i.ve just be wondering on how i could help, though for some reasons, i'm beginning to think she deliberately gets herself sad, cause she worries about even the 'silliest' of things, hence why i'm here!

depressionkills:

I am here, hello

Mckayzee: See?!!! I knew better mike would steal the show atlast, everything the dude's been saying is just on point,he clearly has my stance on this whole ish,standing up and facing it head on instead of shying away and seeking sympathy is just the IN thing.... Trust me, @depressionkills and co, y'all would be fine if you could follow what bettermike's got to say in the long run...

Ps
I have a girl that's suffering from this same issue and was diagnosed for manic depression by a doctor(don.t know if the doctor's quack though) cos i googled it and stumbled on a site where you'd be asked questions and you'd get result that would show if you're merely suffering from normal depression or from bipolar(manic) depression, told her to answer the questions, and the result said she's suffering from mere everyday depression...anyways, i.ve just be wondering on how i could help, though for some reasons, i'm beginning to think she deliberately gets herself sad, cause she worries about even the 'silliest' of things, hence why i'm here!

bettermike: Oh, am flattered. Thats my point exactly. No more playing victim. Face the issue head-on! Life is tough for everyone already. LIFE IS TOUGH ALREADY. Spend too much time feeling sorry and you might just get left behind. Sorry to hear about your girl. Its painful that alot of us just want to keep being sad and laidback.

bettermike: Its getting harder to come here. The sadness, its starting to get to me. Please understand that i dont want to ever experience depression again. Hey Depressionkills, you seem to have been getting the same remarks from everyone in past (playing victim). Also, you need to stop taking things too personal on nairaland. Plus, please please please, quit defending african women. I think you have a lot of right info (enough to free your depression) at your disposal. What you need to do is TAKE ACTION. Remember, my style isnt a soft one. It'll be better not to take offense.

Tbken: wellcome back!!! Two people can never be the same..they might have similarity buh then difference will be there...You will not end like ur uncle and stop putting ur self in his shoes...he is now past dont ever let the past to blur the future...The fact that you have the knowledge of how he ended should be used by you as a forwarn not to end same way...

Big.game:
@bold Same here.

depressionkills:

Thanks a lot
I try my best to stay off any drugs or even alcohol because of that. I dont drink, smoking pot disgust me, but I am not judging people who do. This is also why I am an advocate of people who develop addiction because many of them use it as a coping mechanism to escape their issues and get caught up. I am terrified of developing some substance abuse but I think I am addicted to the internet though

depressionkills:



All of this is grossly insensitive of you

depressionkills:


Does your family try to discourage you too?

Big.game:
Not everybody suffering from depression is a weakling, i myself decided to visit this thread not for sympathy but cause i knew it would be nice talking to others who has experienced the same illness as myself. Please, No pity parties.
It would be better if Some sort of group like say on whatsapp, bbm or hangouts is created. There are somethings not worth revealing on a public forum.

Krystalxxx: hi im new here please but i think this is a really useful thread. I have a problem ive bin battling with and havent gotten over. I always hoped i would get married as a virgin but unfortunately i lost my virginitylast month and i feel so unhappy about it. I wasnt forced but i wasnt happy. I have a very critical and possesive mother who always tricks me into trusting her with my issues but when i tell her all she does is to condemn me. When i felt so bad about my virginity that i even told her to help me commit suicide she tricked me into telling her but once i told her she condemned me completely,and let me know im useless. I stopped telling my boyfriend how bad i feel bcuz he just gets mad at me. Im alone with my depression and now my mom is just extra possesive. Please how do i get through this. Im twenty one.