favediva:

Why on earth did she feel the need 2 hide a house from u??

OP, me I'm very interested in the answer to this question. Have you found out yet? You said you opened this thread to teach all of us something, abeg the lesson is not complete until we have this piece of information. Thanks.

ileobatojo:

OP, me I'm very interested in the answer to this question. Have you found out yet? You said you opened this thread to teach all of us something, abeg the lesson is not complete until we have this piece of information. Thanks.

No reasons yet, still being apologetic and remorseful while I patiently wait for her to open up. Please join me in the waiting game.

Idiot, your brain has failed you.

Pattey:

So its not important that OP acquired assets in both names; his and the wife's. . . While Madam Wife acquires just for herself? Even if she contributed in acquiring any of the assets; The docs also carry her name SO WHY NOT extend same courtesy to her husband?

Infact, why am I stressing mysef wit this fellow?

*yawns* Certified dumbina . . . Keep looking for silly reason that you lost eheheh

If she doesn't entirely open up about all that transpired and the roles played by various parties then nothing is solved. Is she ready to show you all the documents involved and do a change of ownership to reflect the Mr and Mrs just like you did in other properties.

For me I tried to swallow everything after my wife did a similar thing so that there would be peace, but after sometime, I still feel betrayed deep in my heart and this is affecting the home to the extent that finding her so feminine and gentle like back in the days to make love becomes a problem. Sex with her becomes a routine and something you do so that she doesn't accuse you of abandoning your matrimonial functions, that's one effect that most unmarried people without experience here will not understand.
Trust is very important in any relationship and when that is impacted by situations like this it takes time to rebuild, please don't allow it to affect your health, just try and be happy with yourself and children and be your normal old self.

favediva: Idiot, your brain has failed you.

. . . Dumbina

Dats exactly what your condition is called

Pattey:

. . . Dumbina

oh well my comment as per this thread is that it's really wrong for a wife to hide the fact that she's building a house from her husband but mehnnn i honestly do not want to be wealthier than my husband...am sorry..

...from stories flying around me,most men simply cannot handle their wives either earning a higher salary than them or having a business that brings in more money than them...they are clearly not programmed at all for that..it always never ends well..*sighs*..

...so in order to avoid having any future headache ,i'll ensure that he makes twice the amount of money i make at any point in time...Eod.

Pattey:

How did the OP declare he is irresponsible? You've been ranting on and on about how men visit brothels, drink till midnite bla bla bla. . . See, if you're a lady and you're experiencing that, keep your frustration in check!

You're simply trying to draw up sentiments and another silly girl seems to be following your lead with comments here.

You're not helping anyone by using false scenarios to justify something that is simply wrong! It seems you feel the OP left out "some facts" and you're making them up to have a mental orgazzzm.

#side note: I can't belive Seun substituted Orgazzm with "Heavenly Feeling" # That sounds like blasphemy

it is only a m0r0n that will see a clear "m" behind my username and still go ahead to assume that I am a woman.
talk only when you are sensible enough.

2ndChance:
No reasons yet, still being apologetic and remorseful while I patiently wait for her to open up. Please join me in the waiting game.

I thought you would have laid this thread to rest a long time.
lemme use this opportunity to remind you that most working married women on this thread have contributed immensely to church building projects behind their hubby's back.
if that is the case, who does the church belong to? not even your enemy but a random sweet talking shampoo rubbing pastor from god knows where.
for the umpteenth time you are lucky she used her money or urs by proxy to build a house for herself or her family, it could have been worse.
let it go.

jp philips:

it is only a m0r0n that will see a clear "m" behind my username and still go ahead to assume that I am a woman.
talk only when you are sensible enough.

Instead of addressing facts raised earlier, you choose to face ur gender; whining about being male and not female. It only proves you're a worthless "disgrace of male" that should have been born as an invalid rather than being a disgrace to manhood! Infact, ANY little girl is 10 times better than you in intellect even as you are a full-grown slowpoke!

And I insist; you sound like a frustrated 'about-to-commit-suicide' bitter old MAID!

2ndChance: I have been playing with my kids since, reciting nursery rhymes with them after we were done with homework. It's been real fun with my angels.
Meanwhile, all those aggression from my wife has suddenly vamoosed from her eyes as I met her in tears when I returned from work. I guess she has been made to realize the gravity of her actions after wider consultations. Will still continue to watch her actions though. The only question I asked her when she came closer was "why did you try to kill me? And as she tried to explain that she had no such plan, I reminded her that what she did could easily have given any man cardiac arrest. And of course, I have stopped eating her food which has made her even more devasted.
I usually don't share experiences on NL but I have gained so much knowledge and have beacome so much wiser through NL that I felt I will be doing NLers a disservice if I don't share this personal experience. The idea is that other men should learn from this and be vigilant in their homes. As a matter of fact, it was a comment from a certain poster that " no woman should ever be trusted, including your wife and mother" on the thread where a pregant married woman was caught in a hotel room with another man that prompted me to do the random check that exposed the deal between my wife and the priest. So, that's the more reason I just couldn't keep things to myself.

Because you and your wife had issues other men should not trust their wives? Wow! and this is all you learnt from nairaland? why did you not learn that men should marry women they can trust rather than control?

ileobatojo:

OP, me I'm very interested in the answer to this question. Have you found out yet? You said you opened this thread to teach all of us something, abeg the lesson is not complete until we have this piece of information. Thanks.

The man said he learnt on nairaland that men should not trust their wives i believe this to be the message that has to get out there to other married men.

Pattey:

Instead of addressing facts raised earlier, you choose to face ur gender; whining about being male and not female. It only proves you're a worthless "disgrace of male" that should have been born as an invalid rather than being a disgrace to manhood! Infact, ANY little girl is 10 times better than you in intellect even as you are a full-grown slowpoke!

And I insist; you sound like a frustrated 'about-to-commit-suicide' bitter old MAID!

what is the difference between gworo and carrot?

andromida:

Because you and your wife had issues other men should not trust their wives? Wow! and this is all you learnt from nairaland? why did you not learn that men should marry women they can trust rather than control?

These are "men". The story he is referring to is even a tabloid type story. SMH. I think IQ tests should be given as a prerequisite to a wedding ceremony in Nigeria. I think it has gotten to that point

jp philips:

what is the difference between gworo and carrot?

Locate ur fellow morons and ask them

wenever i'm bored, i come aand read recent comments here...
u go fear wwwe championship ontop anada ppersin thread.
abek! mai kindirimo, bani kindrimo nara hamsi dey fura ishirin...

.

^^^^^^Who asked you to narrate the OP's life history? Come on, carry your "I know the OP better than you all" attitude outta Here!

^^^LOOL.. while i feel you thinking he shd MYOB. there are many people like the OP who are toiling for their families yet the spouse due to inbred mistrust for what ever reason will not appreciate what they have till its gone

It betrays the marital bond to do stuff like this especially if they have been working together as one previously

Phema: ^^^^^^Who asked you to narrate the OP's life history? Come on, carry your "I know the OP better than you all" attitude outta Here!

You are related to the Op's wife

GoodFaith:
You are related to the Op's wife

eegoolais: Hymmmmmm.....story that touches the heart!!!

I hardly comment on NL but I was forced to do so now as I know this family very well!!!

The man is a quiet and easy going man, humble and very jovial despite his achivements. The woman on the other hand always wears a strict look, hardly mixes up but is very religious, participating in vitually all activities in the church. Although the man attends mass regularly, he hardly goes beyond that. When asked why he doesn't have the level of participation in church activities as his wife, he once smiled and said "I am not a religious fanatic". I saw him a couple of days ago and the way he goes about his life, you will hardly believe he has this magnitude of problem in his marriage.

I remember when his wife got this job that is almost tearing the marriage apart now, how he went about buying drinks for his friends and colleagues for days, informing all who cared to listen that his wife has landed her dream job. He drove a rickety car for years and was very happy and contented doing so, saying he doesn't want too much attention on himself, while his wife drove a state-of-the-art SUV. It was only of recent that he got himself an SUV. He turned down several expensive vacations abroad, preferring instead to stay behind and work on one building project or the other while his wife and children globetrots. I have never seen a young man this focussed in my entire life. I hope his wfe realizes what she has before she loses it.

May God heal this marriage (Amen).

She probably reserves her mean face for you because she knows that your are nosy. You sound like a typical nosey parker. Jumping to conclusions based on what you see from the outside. You basically just answered the question many of us were asking from the beginning. She is very involved in the church so it makes sense now that the priest knew what the wife was doing. The OP should have just come out from the beginning and said that his wife was the type that lives and breathe church. In fact he knew that there was no question of her being unfaithful since I am assuming he knows his wife's relationship with her church but he did not mention all this detail that you just gave us. The woman does not socialize and is very religious and your issue with her is that she has a mean face. Please go get a life.

soul_glo:

She probably reserves her mean face for you because she knows that your are nosy. You sound like a typical nosey parker. Jumping to conclusions based on what you see from the outside. You basically just answered the question many of us were asking from the beginning. She is very involved in the church so it makes sense now that the priest knew what the wife was doing. The OP should have just come out from the beginning and said that his wife was the type that lives and breathe church. In fact he knew that there was no question of her being unfaithful since I am assuming he knows his wife's relationship with her church but he did not mention all this detail that you just gave us. The woman does not socialize and is very religious and your issue with her is that she has a mean face. Please go get a life.

For your mind now, you have justified the woman conniving with her priest to build a house behind her husband, shey?

Pattey:

For your mind now, you have justified the woman conniving with her priest to build a house behind her husband, shey?

Please go take a seat. You're annoying

eegoolais: Hymmmmmm.....story that touches the heart!!!

I hardly comment on NL but I was forced to do so now as I know this family very well!!!

The man is a quiet and easy going man, humble and very jovial despite his achivements. The woman on the other hand always wears a strict look, hardly mixes up but is very religious, participating in vitually all activities in the church. Although the man attends mass regularly, he hardly goes beyond that. When asked why he doesn't have the level of participation in church activities as his wife, he once smiled and said "I am not a religious fanatic". I saw him a couple of days ago and the way he goes about his life, you will hardly believe he has this magnitude of problem in his marriage.

I remember when his wife got this job that is almost tearing the marriage apart now, how he went about buying drinks for his friends and colleagues for days, informing all who cared to listen that his wife has landed her dream job. He drove a rickety car for years and was very happy and contented doing so, saying he doesn't want too much attention on himself, while his wife drove a state-of-the-art SUV. It was only of recent that he got himself an SUV. He turned down several expensive vacations abroad, preferring instead to stay behind and work on one building project or the other while his wife and children globetrots. I have never seen a young man this focussed in my entire life. I hope his wfe realizes what she has before she loses it.

May God heal this marriage (Amen).

Hmmm be careful to judge men or people in general by their appearances. When it comes to marriage people put on all sorts of fronts,you will never know what is happening behind closed doors. How does a man read a tabloid story and immediately begin to doubt his wife to the point of learning the lesson not to trust women? Sounds strange to me. Seems to me the foundation of the marriage was always weak. A loving wife does not suddenly go to buy a house on her own. Women have always and will always be the weaker sex because of emotions and a soft heart,how did this woman's heart become so hardened to such a loving man.

soul_glo:


Please go take a seat. You're annoying

c-ODE

I can strongly smell some of my wife’s “advisers” on this thread. Please continue in your futile attempts at justifying her ignoble act .

The sad thing for you guys however is that the person you are working so hard to defend has realized her mistakes, opened up completely, apologized and we have both learnt from the incident and have moved on, while plugging all loopholes that led to the incident to forestall a recurrence. We are already planning how to make the Christmas holidays a memorable one for us and our children and you all are still here frantically trying to bring out the supposed wisdom in a foolish advice that was meant to destroy your friend and her marriage rather than help her.

I am sure by now you all must be utterly disappointed to note that the incident has brought us even closer and more united than ever. Well, let me tell you the secret of my marriage today so you don’t waste your time trying to create friction next time: when problems like this arise, that is when we get even closer and more united. We do this by going to mass together, praying together, eating together, sleeping together, laughing over the incident and the roles played by each character together until the problem is over. No matter how heated the argument may be, it doesn't go beyond the surface. That is why she can tell you all now that our home is as peaceful as ever while those of you that ill-advised her are busy running from pillar to post trying to save your faces. We have forgiven you too just like I have forgiven her but please amend your ways before the wrath of God consumes you.

As for the Priest and others like him, I will leave them with Malachi 2, Hosea 4:8-10, Hosea 9:9 and Isaiah 24:2.

2ndChance: I can strongly smell some of my wife’s “advisers” on this thread. Please continue in your futile attempts at justifying her ignoble act .

The sad thing for you guys however is that the person you are working so hard to defend has realized her mistakes, opened up completely, apologized and we have both learnt from the incident and have moved on, while plugging all the loopholes that led to the incident to forestall a recurrence. We are already planning how to make the Christmas holidays a memorable one for us and our children and you all are still here frantically trying to bring out the supposed wisdom in a foolish advice that was meant to destroy your friend and her marriage rather than help her.

I am sure by now you all must be utterly disappointed to note that the incident has brought us even closer and more united than ever. Well, let me tell you the secret of my marriage today so you don’t waste your time trying to create friction next time: when problems like this arise, that is when we get even closer and more united. We do this by going to mass together, praying together, eating together, sleeping together, laughing over the incident and the roles played by each character together until the problem is over. No matter how heated the argument may be, it doesn't go beyond the surface. That is why she can tell you all now that our home is as peaceful as ever while those of you that ill-advised her are busy running from pillar to post trying to save your faces. We have forgiven you too just like I have forgiven her but please amend your ways before the wrath of God consumes you.

As for the Priest and others like him, I will leave them with Malachi 2, Hosea 4:8-10, Hosea 9:9 and Isaiah 24:2.

My friend, carry your testimonies else where. You brought a topic for discussion, so everyone should swallow your hook like zombies abi.
Good thing that you guys are closer now but you should know that even the critics here helped you achieve your result. So shut it and go re build your foundation.

2ndChance: I can strongly smell some of my wife’s “advisers” on this thread. Please continue in your futile attempts at justifying her ignoble act .

The sad thing for you guys however is that the person you are working so hard to defend has realized her mistakes, opened up completely, apologized and we have both learnt from the incident and have moved on, while plugging all the loopholes that led to the incident to forestall a recurrence. We are already planning how to make the Christmas holidays a memorable one for us and our children and you all are still here frantically trying to bring out the supposed wisdom in a foolish advice that was meant to destroy your friend and her marriage rather than help her.

I am sure by now you all must be utterly disappointed to note that the incident has brought us even closer and more united than ever. Well, let me tell you the secret of my marriage today so you don’t waste your time trying to create friction next time: when problems like this arise, that is when we get even closer and more united. We do this by going to mass together, praying together, eating together, sleeping together, laughing over the incident and the roles played by each character together until the problem is over. No matter how heated the argument may be, it doesn't go beyond the surface. That is why she can tell you all now that our home is as peaceful as ever while those of you that ill-advised her are busy running from pillar to post trying to save your faces. We have forgiven you too just like I have forgiven her but please amend your ways before the wrath of God consumes you.

As for the Priest and others like him, I will leave them with Malachi 2, Hosea 4:8-10, Hosea 9:9 and Isaiah 24:2.

Shouldn't this post be addressed to all your fellow bros that told you to kick her out since she is a dangerous menace that plans to kill you? All the ones you hailed when they gave you their 'she is the spawn of the devil' advice? You mean you can settle with her and live in peace after all the testosterone induced vitriol directed to your wife which you so gladly lapped up?

Chillisauce:

My friend, carry your testimonies else where. You brought a topic for discussion, so everyone should swallow your hook like zombies abi.
Good thing that you guys are closer now but you should know that even the critics here helped you achieve your result. So shut it and go re build your foundation.

Thank you jare.

ileobatojo:

Shouldn't this post be addressed to all your fellow bros that told you to kick her out since she is a dangerous menace that plans to kill you? All the ones you hailed when they gave you their 'she is the spawn of the devil' advice? You mean you can settle with her and live in peace after all the testosterone induced vitriol directed to your wife which you so gladly lapped up?

Don't mind him. Playing the devils advocate. With this kind of attitude, I wonder where he is going with this.

OP, why you no divorce her again, going by what your friends were telling you.

Mtcheeew

Chillisauce:

Don't mind him. Playing the devils advocate. With this kind of attitude, I wonder where he is going with this.

OP, why you no divorce her again, going by what your friends were telling you.

Mtcheeew

That's what I'm wondering too.