2buff:

Crap like this only happens in all these "I work, my wife works, but I pay for everything" type marriages.
When you don't put your wife's money to good use, and if she is silly, she will find something dumb to spend it on.
This could range from building new houses without your knowledge, to boy toys.

\Great

favediva: The real issue dis man has is that he cannot handle the fact that his wife now earns more income than him. I can only imagine how proud, arrogant and selfish he was before now, cos if he had always been as loving and caring as he sounds, she wouldn't hide anything from him. One way or the other, he must have made it clear that he is a threat to her success. C'mon people, it's simple psychology..... This topic is just so disgusting.

You are very judgmental and ignorant
Hope it happen to one of your beloved one

GoodFaith:
You are very judgmental and ignorant
Hope it happen to one of your beloved one

Why are u taking things so personal? Abi, same thing don happen 2 you before? I have been following this thread and couldn't ignore this comment of yours. The OP's maturity is commendable!

judii: Why are u taking things so personal? Abi, same thing don happen 2 you before? I have been following this thread and couldn't ignore this comment of yours. The OP's maturity is commendable!

GoodFaith does not realize it but he sounds very "woe is me". Someone like him will find it difficult to forgive someone and move on just because the person looked at him the wrong way

soul_glo:


GoodFaith does not realize it but he sounds very "woe is me". Someone like him will find it difficult to forgive someone and move on just because the person looked at him the wrong way

I think he would be happy and satisfied only when the OP tells him he's (OP) ready 2 send his wife packing. I really don't get what the problem is any more! The OP said he's willing 2stay married for the sake of the kids and some persons feel that's weak of him? Why is it so difficult 4 some people 2 forgive? Why?

2Buff, nothing wrong using her money to buy boy toys now especially when little johnny can't stand up or you want her to continue to shuffer and shmilling for ever and ever?
building new house and buying boy toys are precious investments .

2buff:

Crap like this only happens in all these "I work, my wife works, but I pay for everything" type marriages.
When you don't put your wife's money to good use, and if she is silly, she will find something dumb to spend it on.
This could range from building new houses without your knowledge, to boy toys.

soul_glo:


GoodFaith does not realize it but he sounds very "woe is me". Someone like him will find it difficult to forgive someone and move on just because the person looked at him the wrong way

I am not telling him to judge is wife base on one issue
He has to look at the complete relationship
There is nothing personal
I am very good in looking at things from both views
A Friend once came to me and told me how bad a lady was, I don't know the lady he was talk about
I listened and asked him a few question
After my questions, he came to conclusion that the man made some mistake that the lady is not completely bad
I told him to put himself and her daughter is he has any in the lady position

judii: I think he would be happy and satisfied only when the OP tells him he's (OP) ready 2 send his wife packing. I really don't get what the problem is any more! The OP said he's willing 2stay married for the sake of the kids and some persons feel that's weak of him? Why is it so difficult 4 some people 2 forgive? Why?

If you read all my posting, at no time did I tell the OP to send the wife packing
That is a personal decision for the Op
The OP has to look at the big picture, not just judging her based on her building a house
but look at their relationship for the past 10 year of their marriage and before their marriage

armyofone: 2Buff, nothing wrong using her money to buy boy toys now especially when little johnny can't stand up or you want her to continue to shuffer and shmilling for ever and ever?
building new house and buying boy toys are precious investments .

Are you joking or really serious...

judii: I think he would be happy and satisfied only when the OP tells him he's (OP) ready 2 send his wife packing. I really don't get what the problem is any more! The OP said he's willing 2stay married for the sake of the kids and some persons feel that's weak of him? Why is it so difficult 4 some people 2 forgive? Why?

I will not tell any person to stay married just because of the kids
but to stay married base on the complete relationship of happiness
People make mistake
I will tell people to stay married if they can work it out
Happiness is not just base on living with your kids in the same house
The greatest thing for any man and woman is to have the family under one root
If their is no happiness and the kids are unhappy so stay together mean what?

judii: Why are u taking things so personal? Abi, same thing don happen 2 you before? I have been following this thread and couldn't ignore this comment of yours. The OP's maturity is commendable!

" Family / Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by judii(f): 12:55pm On Sep 24
@ Nashville, So because I ran away from one and unknowingly ended up with another, I now attract them 2 myself, right? I really don't blame the other lady 4 exiting this thread! Too many judgemental people on NL."

see BB's question

pickabeau1:

Are you joking or really serious...

2ndChance:
I have thought about that but it doesn't seem a good option to me as I love my children so much. They love me too and are so fond of me.

It is too bad that a pastor is aiding your wife for her action and do not be surprised that this pastor might be sleeping with your so called wife, milking her maybe with some kind of spiritual manipulation, whereby your wife might have been acting out of the pastor's spiritual manipulation against her own will.

Some of this pastors are not real. Since you love your children and wants to have peace not breaking your home by throwing your wife away , seek for higher real man of God if you believe in God, to be able to know what the problem is.
Since you have been able to discover that the man of God is behind what is going on now, he must know or is responsible for the crises in your home.

Please, I cannot subscribe to your sending your wife away for now as some people suggested.

GoodFaith:

" Family / Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by judii(f): 12:55pm On Sep 24
@ Nashville, So because I ran away from one and unknowingly ended up with another, I now attract them 2 myself, right? I really don't blame the other lady 4 exiting this thread! Too many judgemental people on NL."

.

People still dey on top dis matta ! Na wah oo ,even the op and his wife don forget the issue sef

judii: And what exactly do u intend 2 achieve with this? Grow up, man! I repeat, grow up! Mtchew!

Grow up?
I am very grown man with BIG BILLS NOT KIDS BILL
You want to talk about my posting or comments
So, I had to read some of your past posting to understand you or have some ideal how you think
I can see where you coming from base on some of your life experience
You are a girl that think because of your PU??Y-
You must be right and You must have things your way
Men has to been at the disadvantage in dealing with you
Really?
You need to keep moving

armyofone: see BB's question

Good to know u r catching your trips

GoodFaith:
Grow up?

Not necessary digging up threads...that place is a sanctuary and you betray the trust of a lot of people by posting comment to make fun of them

GoodFaith:

" Family / Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by judii(f): 12:55pm On Sep 24
@ Nashville, So because I ran away from one and unknowingly ended up with another, I now attract them 2 myself, right? I really don't blame the other lady 4 exiting this thread! Too many judgemental people on NL."

SMH. Really?

armyofone: 2Buff, nothing wrong using her money to buy boy toys now especially when little johnny can't stand up or you want her to continue to shuffer and shmilling for ever and ever?
building new house and buying boy toys are precious investments .

Build a house for me and I'll give you the honor of being my girl toy.

smartchoice: No man deserves to be treated like that!
Outta your life send her immediately...but wait plot it well, don't confront her @ all...till you're ready to send her packing....BTW check your children's paternity...urgently I TRUST NO MAN OF GOD!..... Confirm and be sure they're your children n not the Father (no one is a reverend!)
Stop eating her food or drinks....POISON 101,

are you a child talking about send her away send her away as if a wife is like a car or property to discard easily.there are always two sides of a story maybe the woman did not tell you because she felt that you would be angry as you are now that she is becoming successful.

my advise to op,sit her down and explain that you are partners,reassure her that you have her back and will like her to reach her maximum potential as a person but that you would like her to be able to confide in you.

Nashville:

So your wife is not that terrible, at least she was begging for forgiveness. If she has truly changed, you will know and the trust will come back. Bros, marriage can be tough and sometimes people make stupid mistakes like your wife just did. She just may have been given bad advice. But you dont throw away all those blessings because of that single mstake. We all sin against God and ask for forgiveness. You should also practice forgiveness but completely forgiving your wife. And if she were truly sorry, she would hand over the keys to the house to you.

[b][quote author=Nashville]

handing over key to the house that she built with her own salary,if she hands over the key and op takes it that means that op's problem is jeolousy

nayef:



You will surely end up single!

u lie

normaljenny: My brother, I have seen lots of advices here some are good and some are not good. Kneeling down and begging for forgiveness is no big deal. I can do it too with like 20 mins crying added to it. My candid advice is:

1. Don't hate her and don't send her away.

2. Request for the documents as it should be in your possession.

3. If she refuses to give u the documents.

4. Stop sleeping in same room with her.

5. Change your phone number and keep her off ur contacts whatever. Facebook, twitter. Etc

6. Don't you ever, ever eat her food. because if she finds out through the advise of her friends,mother, or pastor that you are becoming a pain in the ass, then she can be compelled to act rashly and if u should die, she would get another hubby in a year, and as she is getting so ambitious now, she has the automatic ownership to all your stuffs.

7. Threat her like a stranger in the house.

8. Don't ever have family discussions with her.

9. Behave as if your life depends on it.

10. Let it stretch for like two to three months.

11. When she comes for begging,don't give in immediately.

12. There shall not be a third party in the reconciliation scene. It should just you and her.

13. Trying to knw if the pastor is screwing her is a past thing. Just keep the past off from it.

14. But meet the foolish pastor and tell him bluntly that if you ever see him 250 meters close to any member of your household, that you will "kill" him.

15. Get a court injuction on him calling your wife or getting close to your family.

16. Withdraw the matter from your family and her family meddling in to solve. Keep them out of it. And your friends too. Only you and your wife can save your marriage.

17. Tell her you want a divorce and see how she would react to it. If she is shocked at and scared at it, then know she wants her marriage to stay, but if she is not, then know that can be the last option (deutoronomy. 24:1-4).

18. As you start it, dedicate a week fasting & prayer to God, for the purpose of keeping the family imtact and ask God to reveal hidden things to you, as I to know if the pastor has voodoo on her, because I don't trust most of all these pastors with their wack powers.

19. Lastly, don't joke with your life. E no get duplicate.

rubbish advise

GoodFaith:
Grow up?
I am very grown man with BIG BILLS NOT KIDS BILL
You want to talk about my posting or comments
So, I had to read some of your past posting to understand you or have some ideal how you think
I can see where you coming from base on some of your life experience
You are a girl that think because of your PU??Y-
You must be right and You must have things your way
Men has to been at the disadvantage in dealing with you
Really?
You need to keep moving

.

soul_glo:

SMH. Really?

I'm so disappointed in him. Thought he was a mature man that could hold a discussion.

Pattey:

I feel sad when people have "comprehension" issues. . . OP acquires assets JOINTLY IN his name and that of his wife BUT his wife chooses to go solo when she 'hammer'. That is the issue!

Comprehension issues??!!! Please try n use your brain a little here. I do not give a damn about his complaints cos the topic to a large extent explains what really happened ....Next time you want to attempt solving a problem, u should try seeking the "probable cause".For every reaction, there is always an action/cause. If this rule was followed, then this thread wouldn't have gotten this long.

This woman did not go directly to the priest because of her plans to build a house. She most likely went to him for counselling, there must have been something wrong with the marriage or do the priests in your village have "helping wives to build houses without their husband's knowledge" as part of their "job description"

You should learn not to swallow everything you are told. Ask the OP for proof that the 8 houses were acquired jointly....n d woman didn't contribute a dime.

Hehehehe, even the few Nigerian movies i watched when i was little has made me so sure that the man's family would "drag the 8 houses" with the woman IF (God forbid) the man dies 2mr.

Have you considered the fact that the priest may have contributed to the destruction of a marriage

That act betrays the trust of the man

The priest went beyond his job description

If i may ask, have u ever run a joint venture or business with someone
How will you feel if one party did things in secret without letting the other part know
Better still are u married and how will u feel if ur hubby started a project without ur knowlege or know how and u found out later inadvertently?

favediva:


Comprehension issues??!!! Please try n use your brain a little here. I do not give a damn about his complaints cos the topic to a large extent explains what really happened ....Next time you want to attempt solving a problem, u should try seeking the "probable cause".For every reaction, there is always an action/cause. If this rule was followed, then this thread wouldn't have gotten this long.

This woman did not go directly to the priest because of her plans to build a house. She most likely went to him for counselling, there must have been something wrong with the marriage or do the priests in your village have "helping wives to build houses without their husband's knowledge" as part of their "job description"

You should learn not to swallow everything you are told. Ask the OP for proof that the 8 houses were acquired jointly....n d woman didn't contribute a dime.

Hehehehe, even the few Nigerian movies i watched when i was little has made me so sure that the man's family would "drag the 8 houses" with the woman IF (God forbid) the man dies 2mr.

favediva:


Comprehension issues??!!! Please try n use your brain a little here. I do not give a damn about his complaints cos the topic to a large extent explains what really happened ....Next time you want to attempt solving a problem, u should try seeking the "probable cause".For every reaction, there is always an action/cause. If this rule was followed, then this thread wouldn't have gotten this long.

This woman did not go directly to the priest because of her plans to build a house. She most likely went to him for counselling, there must have been something wrong with the marriage or do the priests in your village have "helping wives to build houses without their husband's knowledge" as part of their "job description"

You should learn not to swallow everything you are told. Ask the OP for proof that the 8 houses were acquired jointly....n d woman didn't contribute a dime.

Hehehehe, even the few Nigerian movies i watched when i was little has made me so sure that the man's family would "drag the 8 houses" with the woman IF (God forbid) the man dies 2mr.

I saw your posts earlier and decided to ignore but my patience failed me when I saw this last one.
Another man married to this same family is having exactly this same issue as I type. Just like in my case, he got wind of the whole development from outsiders. May be you should ask yourself why every woman from my wife's family doesn't trust her husband, just like their mother never trusted their father.
And by the way, I have a very strong feeling you are one of my wife's sisters!!!

i am beginning to enjoy this thread

2ndChance:

I saw your posts earlier and decided to ignore but my patience failed me when I saw this last one.
Another man married to this same family is having exactly this same issue as I type. Just like in my case, he got wind of the whole development from outsiders. May be you should ask yourself why every woman from my wife's family doesn't trust her husband, just like their mother never trusted their father.
And by the way, I have a very strong feeling you are one of my wife's sisters!!!

Pls o!!! I Know ye not.....Thank God....

Even if i may sound otherwise, i'm actually trying to help you.
Leave your wife's family history out of this.
I've been saying the exact same thing if you read my comments well
Be honest with yourself

A typical Nigerian woman would beg, whether or not she is wrong to save her marriage. A priest will "seem sorry" because he is a priest, or do u expect him to argue with u? (That's if this really happened)

Put aside the African mentality, Book an appointment with a professional counsellor
Your family and friends will support you whether or not you are right.

ASUU is on strike, who knows, majority of the people giving you advice may be "school children" for crying out loud.

Why on earth did she feel the need 2 hide a house from u??

favediva:


Comprehension issues??!!! Please try n use your brain a little here. I do not give a damn about his complaints cos the topic to a large extent explains what really happened ....Next time you want to attempt solving a problem, u should try seeking the "probable cause".For every reaction, there is always an action/cause. If this rule was followed, then this thread wouldn't have gotten this long.

This woman did not go directly to the priest because of her plans to build a house. She most likely went to him for counselling, there must have been something wrong with the marriage or do the priests in your village have "helping wives to build houses without their husband's knowledge" as part of their "job description"

You should learn not to swallow everything you are told. Ask the OP for proof that the 8 houses were acquired jointly....n d woman didn't contribute a dime.

Hehehehe, even the few Nigerian movies i watched when i was little has made me so sure that the man's family would "drag the 8 houses" with the woman IF (God forbid) the man dies 2mr.

So its not important that OP acquired assets in both names; his and the wife's. . . While Madam Wife acquires just for herself? Even if she contributed in acquiring any of the assets; The docs also carry her name SO WHY NOT extend same courtesy to her husband?

Infact, why am I stressing mysef wit this fellow?

*yawns* Certified dumbina . . . Keep looking for silly reason that you lost eheheh