This may sound a little bit weird but I think nowadays, the kids are having much attention. They seem to be in total control of relationships .

A baby also can stir up surprising feelings of jealousy. The baby takes up so much of the mother's time. Sometimes, the man feels like a third party, he feels like he doesnt do much of the parenting.

The woman sometimes feels self-conscious and less attractive to her partner. Some find it difficult to reconcile the image of a mother with that of a sexu'al woman, so they may be less interested in intimacy.

How can we adjust the much attention during these first 7-8months?

.....

Its Like Lotsa People Don't Know What To Make Of Your Post In Relation To The Topic...

Biko Restructure.

Tenq

OP, don't feel like a third party, just get involved. Take her with you when s/he cries at night, feed, bathe, clothe etc.

By the time they are about 8 months, you must have gotten your groove back

Dygeasy: Its Like Lotsa People Don't Know What To Make Of Your Post In Relation To The Topic...

Biko Restructure.

Tenq

Lol. What I am saying is that kids are having much attention in their first 7months after birth more than the couple.

How can we make it fair?

Chillisauce: OP, don't feel like a third party, just get involved. Take her with you when s/he cries at night, feed, bathe, clothe etc.

By the time they are about 8 months, you must have gotten your groove back

No matter how hard I try to get involve, I still feel isolated.
Sometimes, the kids are taking my own time . I need to draw a time-table

it's ok to not have sex 24/7.

its not abnormal, some of you are extremely narcissistic and terribly unrealistic.

i just pity young guys who dont know their left from their right who look up to some of you as role models.

if you know you're not ready for the responsibilities that come with having a child, then why impregnate someone.

and after you've impregnated someone anyway, why not man up and understand you're now a father to some hapless child who didnt ask you to have unprotected sex?

tpia@:
it's ok to not have sex 24/7.

its not abnormal, some of you are extremely narcissistic and terribly unrealistic.

i just pity young guys who dont know their left from their right who look up to some of you as role models.

if you know you're not ready for the responsibilities that come with having a child, then why impregnate someone.

and after you've impregnated someone anyway, why not man up and understand you're now a father to some hapless child who didnt ask you to have unprotected sex?

Sex is not the only attention a man needs from his wife.

No one says kids dont need the necessary attention. All I am saying is there should be a limit to the attention given to them.

And even if sex is the attention, do you know how it feels for a married man to stay a month without affection? Come on! Dont act naive.

OP, use your hand, and buy some toilet soap too .

Chillisauce: OP, use your hand, and buy some toilet soap too .

. Can we make this topic a public issue pls?

xynerise:
Sex is not the only attention a man needs from his wife.

No one says kids dont need the necessary attention. All I am saying is there should be a limit to the attention given to them.

And even if sex is the attention, do you know how it feels for a married man to stay a month without affection? Come on! Dont act naive.

this was your op:

xynerise: This may sound a little bit weird but I think nowadays, the kids are having much attention. They seem to be in total control of relationships .

A baby also can stir up surprising feelings of jealousy. The baby takes up so much of the mother's time. Sometimes, the man feels like a third party, he feels like he doesnt do much of the parenting.

The woman sometimes feels self-conscious and less attractive to her partner. Some find it difficult to reconcile the image of a mother with that of a sexu'al woman, so they may be less interested in intimacy.

How can we adjust the much attention during these first 7-8months?

did the mother ask you not to be involved with the parenting?


why would you be jealous of a baby, and fighting for attention with a helpless child which didnt ask you to not use a condom?


of course you can always get a child minder to take care of the baby if you prefer its mother to not spend so much time with it.

tpia@:


this was your op:





did the mother ask you not to be involved with the parenting?


why would you be jealous of a baby, and fighting for attention with a helpless child which didnt ask you to not use a condom?


of course you can always get a child minder to take care of the baby if you prefer its mother to not spend so much time with it.

. Maybe my post is kind of complicated. You are kind of winning the arguement because you are a woman and doesn't understand how a man feels at that moment.

Babies need attention no doubt, but I am saying it shouldnt conflict with the relationship. Gosh! I dont even know the right words to use .

Just that I dont want to go into full details thereby saying some confidential issues in my private life

Honestly. . .

Men are only the means to the end FOR WOMEN. . . .TO GET CHILDREN. Period!
When my children came into my life. . . .MEN CEASED TO EXIST IN MY WORLD!

Every woman needs to ask herself one basic question.

A child or a man/woman? Who meets your emotional needs more?
I am an EMOTIONAL BEING. . . and NO MAN has touched that part of my being. . . especially as they are all NIGERIANS, my father included.
I have never NEVER a PHYSICAL OR SEXXXUAL BEING(don't pay attention to what I post online o. . . you don miss road be dat! )


Bottom line?

Men need women. . .to meet their PHYSICAL NEEDS. . .aka SEX AND FOOD!
Women on the other hand USE SEXXXX to keep men to love them! HA! What a rip-off!
What they really need is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. . .as emotional beings. . . . ONLY YOUR CHILDREN CAN GIVE YOU THAT. . . IF YOU GIVE THEM THAT FIRST!

Giving a man YOUR unconditional love AS A WOMAN, means you have set yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness, because MEN ARE PHYSICAL BEINGS.

When children grow up to be adults. . . ever wonder why they change? ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE EMOTIONALLY ABANDONED BY BOTH PARENTS!

The fathers chase after women for SEX. . .
The mothers chase after men for LOVE
The children? DRIFTERS!

In summation. . . .I separate my children from my relationships. . . .They have to go through MASLOW'S hierarchy of needs first. . . as in GROW UP LIKE HEALTHY CHILDREN FIRST. . . .BEFORE THE SHENANIGANS of my adult world CORRUPTS THEM. THEY DO NOT INFLUENCE MY RELATIONSHIP/S. . . .because they cannot be/should not be used as PUNS!

^^ You are almost getting my point

xynerise: ^^ You are almost getting my point

Almost?
What did I miss dear?

One more thing. . . I LEARNED FROM MY NIGERIAN PARENTS' MANY MISTAKES!!! I DON'T PLAN TO REPEAT ANY OF THEM!

A child should be exposed to the achievement for self-actualization ONLY. . . I BELIEVE IN MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS.
If ANY MAN OR WOMAN CANNOT HELP MY CHILDREN GET FROM THE BOTTOM OF THAT LADDER TO THE TOP. . . He/she is not an important part of THEIR LIVES. . . OR MINE! THAT INCLUDES THEIR FATHER/S!!! They are not worthy of me either!!!

[img]http://mrburnce.files./2009/10/maslows-hierarchy.gif?w=483&h=419[/img]


No need exposing a child to a DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP right?
If my relationship can help them get through these phases. . . HELL YEAH! They can influence the relationships as much as they can. I WILL DO ANYTHING. . . I MEAN ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING!!!

[size=20pt]CHILDREN CAN NEVER INFLUENCE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IF THEY ARE PART OF THEM![/size]


If they are influencing YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. . . IT MEANS THEY ARE BEING USED AS PUNS!

*DAMN!!!. . .who ever knew that the tuition paid for my education would come IN handy on NL of all places? my daddy and mommy would be proud. *



Anyone love 'WEST SIDE STORY'? . . Always reminds me of my NICE childhood! I ALWAYS FEEL PRETTY!!!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7BQRGXFLJs

^hmmmm. You actually edited your previous post and came a bit closer to my point



My kids dont have much influence in my relationship but I just want to know the possibility of making both the man and the child happy .
Taking part of the parenting is something I love to do. But it seems am not getting that attention each time I want to.

xynerise: ^hmmmm. You actually edited your previous post and came a bit closer to my point



My kids dont have much influence in my relationship but I just want to know the possibility of making both the man and the child happy .
Taking part of the parenting is something I love to do. But it seems am not getting that attention each time I want to.

Back to what I stated earlier. YOU NEED MORE SEX!
When you decided to have children. . . you should have thought about that! CHILDREN CHANGE ALL THAT, sir!
You only get 'attention' when you are GIVEN some!
Don't make your wife/BABY MOMMA HAVE TO CHOOSE.
If I were her, I would have no problem kicking your horrrrrrrrrrrny-AZZZE to the curb!


*5:05 PM. . . time for work! HALLELUJAH. . .into the shAwA i jump *

*logging off in body and spirit*

Kanwulia:

Back to what I stated earlier. YOU NEED MORE SEX!
When you decided to have children. . . you should have thought about that! CHILDREN CHANGE ALL THAT, sir!
You only get 'attention' when you are GIVEN some!
Don't make your wife/BABY MOMMA HAVE TO CHOOSE.
If I were her, I would have no problem kicking your horrrrrrrrrrrny-AZZZE to the curb!


*5:05 PM. . . time for work! HALLELUJAH. . .into the shAwA i jump *

*logging off in body and spirit*

God knows why I didnt marry your type

xynerise:
Lol. What I am saying is that kids are having much attention in their first 7months after birth more than the couple.

How can we make it fair?

Shouldn't They Get All The Attention?

Lol...

xynerise:
. Maybe my post is kind of complicated. You are kind of winning the arguement because you are a woman and doesn't understand how a man feels at that moment.

Babies need attention no doubt, but I am saying it shouldnt conflict with the relationship. Gosh! I dont even know the right words to use .

Just that I dont want to go into full details thereby saying some confidential issues in my private life

your arrogance is all i'm getting from the thread.

hopefully, someday you'll understand it isnt always about winning arguments, sometimes you need to understand the meaning of life is not a bed of roses.

i suppose you think the baby mother is enjoying the lack of sleep and extra responsibility, and is just being stingy with giving you attention, using the baby as an excuse.

anyway, child minders are an option, like i mentioned before. Househelp, etc.

After carrying a baby for nine months, go through all the highs and lows, what do you expect? Romping with you all over so soon?
The baby needs her more than you do.... so guys stop whining.
The best you could do is ask her to go get some sleep and rest while you take over warming breas.t milk for your crying/colicky baby.
How can a man be jealous of the relationship his wife has with their baby? What are you missing that you haven't had before baby came along?
Jealous father may be part of Shaking baby syndrome. Hospitals make them take classes before heading home
Be patient because the best is what you want for your baby.

xynerise: This may sound a little bit weird but I think nowadays, the kids are having much attention. They seem to be in total control of relationships .

A baby also can stir up surprising feelings of jealousy. The baby takes up so much of the mother's time. Sometimes, the man feels like a third party, he feels like he doesnt do much of the parenting.

The woman sometimes feels self-conscious and less attractive to her partner. Some find it difficult to reconcile the image of a mother with that of a sexu'al woman, so they may be less interested in intimacy.

How can we adjust the much attention during these first 7-8months?