You get a call from your friend, who
invites you to hang out with the guys on
Saturday night. An old college buddy is in
town and will be joining you. You are
excited to go. However, your girlfriend
has a class until 10pm on Friday, so Saturday is your only date night together.
You senses that your significant other will
not be happy about this, but you also are
entitled to a night with the guys.
However, you forget to tell her about
your plans until 3pm that Saturday, while she is excitedly proposing a few things
you could do that evening. What happens next is totally predictable.
Your woman gets pissed, you argue, she
hangs up and calls her girlfriend to complain.
You feel surprised and disappointed at how
upset she got, and feel resentful. You feel
trapped by this relationship and doubtful that this woman is the right one. The right woman
would be supportive and want you to have a
life, right? While she feels upset that she now
has no plans for the evening, and feels that
you don't actually care about spending time
with her becuase you don't take her into consideration when making choices. Men often complain about how they wish
their women wouldn't get so upset about
everything. Well, do they get upset about
everything? Hopefully, upon brief reflection,
the answer is no. It's time to look at the
types of actions and conversations that make her upset, like the scenario above, to see if
there is something you might to do change
that. As an aside, if the answer is yes, it is possible
that the guy is living with a truly unstable
person. Guys, if your woman suffers from a
diagnosable mental illness or personality
disorder, you will have a different type of
work to do. But for the rest of you, healthy women will
react emotionally when you bring up certain
subjects. Here are three steps to reducing the drama and increasing your sense of
freedom in your relationship: 1) Learn to expect a reaction-When it's cloudy and humid, you don't put on your
suede jacket and curse mother nature for
screwing you over when it starts to rain, but
this is what many men do in relationships
with women. Your fear about her reactivity
AND your resulting denial about the possibilities that she will be upset, compel
you to behave in provocative ways. In fact,
she is often responding more to what you
have consciously or unconsciously done to
avoid upsetting her, then what you were
afraid might upset her in the first place. In this way, you create more of what you say
you don't want. Bring an umbrella. Learn to expect a reaction
anytime you change what has become an
expected pattern of interacting or unspoken
agreement between you. For example: You usually spend Friday nights with her and
suddenly you can't
You need to take more time for yourself
You suddenly become less attentive to her for
any variety of good reasons If any of the above take place, there's a good
possibility (unless you are with a very mature
person) that she will be upset. If you've been
with your partner for a while, you can get a
good sense of what types of things upset
her. If you have a hunch that what you need to do or say will bring it on, prepare for it.
This will make it much easier for the both of
you. 2) Make room for the wave -A fire that has no fuel will extinguish itself. Do not feed the
fire by arguing with her about her feelings or
perspective. You don't have to take insults or
jabs, but if you can stay calm and allow her
upset to be, it will subside. If you are truly
not trying to hurt her, then you can feel compassion for her hurt feelings , but you
don't have to believe that you caused them.
Your job is not to take it on, fix it or make it
better but rather, allow the wave to break on
the shore. It also helps to remember that she is not
upset because she is controlling and
manipulative, although her behavior certainly
might be. She is upset because she loves you
and wants to spend time with you, and
doesn't know how else to manage her vulnerability and disappointment. 3) Show her that you are in the
relationship. Your woman will move through her reaction very quickly if you demonstrate
your care by taking her feelings into
consideration. Prepare ahead of time! "Hey
listen, Saturday night I'm going to meet with
the guys, but next weekend I would love to
take you to that place you like by the water." A communiqué like that can lead to a
disappointed sigh instead of a rant, and
offers an excitement about the future and a
feeling of being cared for that minimizes
hurt. It's pretty simple. She just wants to know
that you care about her feelings, about
spending time with her, and that you are not
abandoning or taking advantage of her. Of
course, anything you promise you must follow
through with in order to earn or keep her trust. If you follow these three steps regularly, a
sane woman will respect you, and in turn
become increasingly reasonable in response
to your requests. And you will see that you
can have your freedom and the relationship
too. A good woman who loves you really wants you to be happy, as your happiness
contributes greatly to hers.

More and more poppycocks and gobblydygooks!!

Concentrated bullsh...it!

Nice work

Too long mahn
Itz probably boring