bukatyne:
Give us time,
We will get there!

when will you people get there? you have been on this journey for more than 100 years & we still have majority of the nigerian women relying solely on their partners to pay their life bills.

It is also your duty to help the women in your lives see this... Support her and spur her to greatness and see how she soars....

the only support an average nigerian woman understands is money. your advice means nothing to them.

sauer: What I don't understand is why women are often in such dire need of men and of marriage. I think if more women begin to stand alone and choose for themselves what they and only they want, and not what the society wants, just maybe they'll gain more respect among the menfolk.

Women need men and men need women.. there is this interdependence which is often best achieved in marriage!

There are some problems that only a loving word from you spouse or a good night lovemaking can solve. Ideas can be viewed and developed from both POV and launched. Marriage is for companionship and partnership.

However, most women don't know the purpose of marriage and see it as a status change or bills paying venture. 'I need a man to pay my bills and I offer him sex, food and laundry services'!

I guess they have nothing to do with their lives and want a steady meal ticket

coogar:

when will you people get there? you have been on this journey for more than 100 years & we still have majority of the nigerian women relying solely on their partners to pay their life bills.



the only support an average nigerian woman understands is money. your advice means nothing to them.

Please na... your support means a lot to us

I know how many times I encourage my man with a kiss and he bounces back! I know how often he encourages me, tells me I can achieve a thing and I go on to achieve that stuff...

We need each other


Then avoid the 'average Nigerian woman' or leave them for the 'average Nigerian man'!

Nashville:

More like guys should avoid women that see themselves as a mere domestic appendage and nothing more!

Gbam! I dey your back!

Some men like them that way sha!

I think more awareness should be created for women to understand what 'woman empowerment' is all about.

Throughout my school days, it was a general impression that women would always end up in the kitchen, educated or not.
It was not until when I completed my degree and started working fully before I realized how important 'woman empowerment' really is.

It is also important to have a partner that understands this 'mentality' & is willing to encourage his partner to achieve her dreams.

I'm not married yet oo but my fiance has really aided in helping me build confidence in myself, etc, etc.

theLORDreigns: I think more awareness should be created for women to understand what 'woman empowerment' is all about.

Throughout my school days, it was a general impression that women would always end up in the kitchen, educated or not.
It was not until when I completed my degree and started working fully before I realized how important 'woman empowerment' really is.

It is also important to have a partner that understands this 'mentality' & is willing to encourage his partner to achieve her dreams.

I'm not married yet oo but my fiance has really aided in helping me build confidence in myself, etc, etc.

This is cool!

Welcome to the thread!

I am so sorry to the guys for not welcoming them

Welcome Pickabeau1
Welcome Nashville
Welcome Sauer
Welcome Coogar

bukatyne:

Please na... your support means a lot to us

I know how many times I encourage my man with a kiss and he bounces back! I know how often he encourages me, tells me I can achieve a thing and I go on to achieve that stuff...

We need each other


Then avoid the 'average Nigerian woman' or leave them for the 'average Nigerian man'!

This is not supposed to be a gender bashing thread so let be truthful because we are all part of the same society. One of the biggest problems with our society including the men is that we naturally reject successful single women. I have a few female friends in their mid thirties who are doing very well and achieving their dreams. But no husband, not because they are bad girls but because our men are threatened and feel these women will not be submissive.

I know some successful married women as well, but most of them married early and their success came after marriage. Truth is that our society as a whole kinda rejects successful young spinsters, so lots of women after school just want to marry before becoming "old cargo". And sometimes they just marry any guy that comes their way forgeting about how the guy can contribute to or kill their dreams.

bukatyne:

This is cool!

Welcome to the thread!

thanks

Nashville:

This is not supposed to be a gender bashing thread so let be truthful because we are all part of the same society. One of the biggest problems with our society including the men is that we naturally reject successful single women. I have a few female friends in their mid thirties who are doing very well and achieving their dreams. But no husband, not because they are bad girls but because our men are threatened and feel these women will not be submissive.

perhaps if they are in their mid-20s, they would have more suitors. who really wants "aunty" as a wife?

I know some successful married women as well, but most of them married early and their success came after marriage. Truth is that our society as a whole kinda rejects successful young spinsters, so lots of women after school just want to marry before becoming "old cargo". And sometimes they just marry any guy that comes their way forgeting about how the guy can contribute to or kill their dreams.

successful young spinsters are in high demand.....it's only when they get too old that men are skeptical. if i meet a single lady that says she's 36, i would be curious to know her history between age 21 & 36.

Nashville:

This is not supposed to be a gender bashing thread so let be truthful because we are all part of the same society. One of the biggest problems with our society including the men is that we naturally reject successful single women. I have a few female friends in their mid thirties who are doing very well and achieving their dreams. But no husband, not because they are bad girls but because our men are threatened and feel these women will not be submissive.

I know some successful married women as well, but most of them married early and their success came after marriage. Truth is that our society as a whole kinda rejects successful young spinsters, so lots of women after school just want to marry before becoming "old cargo". And sometimes they just marry any guy that comes their way forgeting about how the guy can contribute to or kill their dreams.

This is also true.

I think guys should be educated/ have a change of orientation regarding that. Most of them certainly did not have a successful role model esp. mothers. A son with a medical doctor for a mum wouldn't be scared to marry one.

I also believe that some of the women might have missed out the men for them because they are not 'successful enough' or they were not observant

There might be exceptions though

coogar:

perhaps if they are in their mid-20s, they would have more suitors. who really wants "aunty" as a wife?



successful young spinsters are in high demand.....it's only when they get too old that men are skeptical. if i meet a single lady that says she's 36, i would be curious to know her history between age 21 & 36.

Nashville:

This is not supposed to be a gender bashing thread so let be truthful because we are all part of the same society. One of the biggest problems with our society including the men is that we naturally reject successful single women. I have a few female friends in their mid thirties who are doing very well and achieving their dreams. But no husband, not because they are bad girls but because our men are threatened and feel these women will not be submissive

So I was told, but now I know better.

It depends on the awareness level of each and every individual.

One of my bosses once told me that I should not be afraid of my capability as a working class woman because as some men will be threatened by me, some other men will be drawn to me.

theLORDreigns:

So I was told, but now I know better.

It depends on the awareness level of each and every individual.

One of my bosses once told me that I should not be afraid of my capability as a working class woman because as some men will be threatened by me, some other men will be drawn to me.

Agreed it is at a young age. Men will be drawn to a 25 year old successful young woman who knows what she wants. By the time this woman is 35 and she is even more successful, she will be very attractive to divorcees, aristos and alhajis. Most of the young men that would have married her will probably have second thoughts. It all has to do with age!

Nashville:

Agreed it is at a young age. Men will be drawn to a 25 year old successful young woman who knows what she wants. By the time this woman is 35 and she is even more successful, she will be very attractive to divorcees, aristos and alhajis. Most of the young men that would have married her will probably have second thoughts. It all has to do with age!

Yes. We have them in my office too... (above 35)

Now I have to go for a meeting sef. Mcheeew

theLORDreigns:

Yes. We have them in my office too... (above 35)

Now I have to go for a meeting sef. Mcheeew

I will tell ya boss

Nice discourse.

Tgirl4real: Nice discourse.

Welcome Tgirl4real

Thanks...

What are your contributions?

Would like to hear from you

I see no diff

Joseph had a dream and went thrui hell to actualise it i.e. his destiny
They are used interchangeably and God uses dreams to point one in the direction of his destiny

In the talents you refer to gifts which may or may not be destiny

David had the gift of music but he was destined to be king

some people have a gift which is their destiny granted thhough... eg Samson

Some gifts are diabolical but still help you partially to your destiny eg Jacob

Thanks for the welcome

bukatyne:

You are mistaking destiny for dreams...

Destiny is God's purpose for your life... it might be to be a world class banker to solve some problems; it might be a Sunday school teacher to teach just one child; it might be to help just one child; it might be an evangelist etc.

God has given everyone the ability to do certain things well... Rom 12:6 and those things must not be wasted. Remember the parable of talents.

pickabeau1: I see no diff

Joseph had a dream and went thru hell to actualise it i.e. his destiny
They are used interchangeably and God uses dreams to point one in the direction of his destiny

In the talents you refer to gifts which may or may not be destiny

David had the gift of music but he was destined to be king

some people have a gift which is their destiny granted thhough... eg Samson

Some gifts are diabolical but still help you partially to your destiny eg Jacob

Thanks for the welcome

Joseph's dream was given to him by God which is different from what I wish to be...

David been a King did not stop him from writing Psalms

David was destined to lead the Israelites...

He had been leading right from the battlefront. His kingship was just a platform to fulfill his destiny

Not sure I get what you are saying

Joseph had always dreamed of his brothers bowing to him...

He became the leader of the world then ...

David was destined to be leader and once anointed, he was able to face the lion n all...

bukatyne:

Joseph's dream was given to him by God which is different from what I wish to be...

David been a King did not stop him from writing Psalms

David was destined to lead the Israelites...

He had been leading right from the battlefront. His kingship was just a platform to fulfill his destiny

pickabeau1: Not sure I get what you are saying

Joseph had always dreamed of his brothers bowing to him...

He became the leader of the world then ...

David was destined to be leader and once anointed, he was able to face the lion n all...

Joseph did not imagine his brothers bowing to him.... God gave him the dream/vision i.e. it was not his own idea just how it was not David's idea to be a King.

Dreams and Destiny are sometimes linked but they are different (at lease as defined in the OP)

ok.. for purposes of this thread ,.. i will accept they are different
if i understand you dream is divine while destiny is more of your personal stamp on the sands of time

Hence my question.. thousands of years ago it was perfectly acceptable for a woman to be a homemaker
Now with professions and all, some women still asipre to focus their all on their home and hubby

Mitt Romney;s wife is an accomplished homemaker, and hosts all his political ish


Let me requote the destiny/dream post

bukatyne:

You are mistaking destiny for dreams...

Destiny is God's purpose for your life... it might be to be a world class banker to solve some problems; it might be a Sunday school teacher to teach just one child; it might be to help just one child; it might be an evangelist etc.

God has given everyone the ability to do certain things well... Rom 12:6 and those things must not be wasted. Remember the parable of talents.

bukatyne:

That is like saying your destiny is to be a daughter to your parents... or a man's destiny is to provide for his family!

True because they have been oppressed for long. God never intended a woman to be a stay at home wifey.. read Prov 31: 10 - 31. Every woman should ideally be a helper to her husband, good mother to their kids etc. so it's not a destiny.

Everyone as a purpose for which he/she was created. It might not be to be a banker (how I detest that profession), doctor or whatever.... Look at Harriet Stowe that wrote 'Uncle Tom's Cabin'... Do you know what the book accomplished?

pickabeau1: ok.. for purposes of this thread ,.. I will accept they are different
if i understand you dreamdestiny is divine while destinydream is more of your personal stamp on the sands of time

Hence my question.. thousands of years ago it was perfectly acceptable for a woman to be a homemaker
Now with professions and all, some women still aspire to focus their all on their home and hubby

Mitt Romney's wife is an accomplished homemaker, and hosts all his political ish


Let me requote the destiny/dream post

I have edited to show you want I mean

And Destiny supersedes dreams

As for such women, that is another kettle of fish

In that case.. The Bible is not explicit on the roles of the woman in modern times

That context has always been in the framework of the family

For me .. with modern realities, there are some bounds you have to abide with

- Dont be unemployed as times have changed. Have a business or source of income

- If you are a heiress, find something worthwhile to leave your legacy as an individual

- Strive to be the best in what you are doing rather than relying on your sexuality to get what you want

pickabeau1: In that case.. The Bible is not explicit on the roles of the woman in modern times

That context has always been in the framework of the family

For me .. with modern realities, there are some bounds you have to abide with

- Dont be unemployed as times have changed. Have a business or source of income

- If you are a heiress, find something worthwhile to leave your legacy as an individual

- Strive to be the best in what you are doing rather than relying on your sexuality to get what you want

It was not explicit on roles of men either

bukatyne:

It was not explicit on roles of men either

I think it is.. Genesis says the earth would not yield with out struggle

The Isrealites were mostly farmers and shepherds
Some became craftsmen and musicians etc

This was so until the Industrial Age

Through the Feudal ages men worked, women stayed home

I believe a woman is first of all an individual before being a Mrs or mama bomboy. We can be anything we want to be if we set our minds to it.

That said, women can live purposeful and fulfilled(yep!) lives outside of being a wife, mother and having a traditional career path. Mother Theresa is a perfect example.




I'm always glad when i see women in male-dominated professions like Engineering, Welding, Plumbing, IT, Accounting, Law, Medicine etc. but we still have a long way to go, because even in these professions you hardly find women in active practice. For example, in accounting and Law you hardly see a female making Partner; the same applies to medicine-most females end up as medical officers or GP's. Be that as it may, i still believe we will get there. We will get there coogar! liff us.

lady gogo: I believe a woman is first of all an individual before being a Mrs or mama bomboy. We can be anything we want to be if we set our minds to it.

That said, women can live purposeful and fulfilled(yep!) lives outside of being a wife, mother and having a traditional career path. Mother Theresa is a perfect example.




I'm always glad when i see women in male-dominated professions like Engineering, Welding, Plumbing, IT, Accounting, Law, Medicine etc. but we still have a long way to go, because even in these professions you hardly find women in active practice. For example, in accounting and Law you hardly see a female making Partner; the same applies to medicine-most females end up as medical officers or GP's. Be that as it may, i still believe we will get there. We will get there coogar! liff us.

Welcome lady gogo

I believe most women do not have the drive or end up with wrong partners

lady gogo: I believe a woman is first of all an individual before being a Mrs or mama bomboy. We can be anything we want to be if we set our minds to it.

That said, women can live purposeful and fulfilled(yep!) lives outside of being a wife, mother and having a traditional career path. Mother Theresa is a perfect example.

I'm always glad when i see women in male-dominated professions like Engineering, Welding, Plumbing, IT, Accounting, Law, Medicine etc. but we still have a long way to go, because even in these professions you hardly find women in active practice. For example, in accounting and Law you hardly see a female making Partner; the same applies to medicine-most females end up as medical officers or GP's. Be that as it may, i still believe we will get there. We will get there coogar! liff us.

this journey is now longer than exodus. i can't wait to see you guys get there. i hope it happens before my demise.

bukatyne:

I will tell ya boss

Nashville:

Agreed it is at a young age. Men will be drawn to a 25 year old successful young woman who knows what she wants. By the time this woman is 35 and she is even more successful, she will be very attractive to divorcees, aristos and alhajis. Most of the young men that would have married her will probably have second thoughts. It all has to do with age!

Yes you are right, but most unmarried & working-class women above 35yrs are no different from the women who are equally above 35yrs & not working.

At that age, generally it is considered that there is something wrong with a woman for her not yet getting married early enough. It is not limited to only the working-class 35yrs & above women.

@Lady gogo: it is also not enough for a woman to be in a 'male dominated' field; she must have the drive
There is nothing wrong in a woman studying arts or G & C as long as she is not there because she is a woman!

For example, I have the passion to motivate and inspire women starting from their teens; I also have the drive for relationship stuffs...

I am looking at becoming a lecturer /teacher in future so that I can connect to my target group. I also like to write so I know I would write books on the subject. There are also a lot of things I have drive/ passion for.

I have never dreamt to be a banker and I know my dream of lecturing is not lesser than a banker. No dream is too small as long as it will better the lives of the target people and it is in line with God's will